one chill clown

I still have somewhat crippling self hate issues going on. I really don't like it. I mean... I adapted to my self loathing, I was mostly fine with it, it didn't bother me as long as I didn't have to think about myself, but now it has found new way to make my life harder.
It's affecting my characters.
Those dear little beings I used to be strengthened by are now unable to help because I way too often want nothing to do with them now. Because they are part of me. And what am I? Pile of pathetic nothingness, a fool, a damned idiot, a darned good-for-nothing.

My, my, how hate is so destructive feeling.
I don't want it, but I can't escape it.

Soooo then
more clowns it is.
At least drawing this damned psychopath is relieving.
Because she's not mine.

I'll probably move this to scraps later (ironic isn't it, Scrappy) because this is just a little itsy-bitsy sketch I slapped some colors on. Because I need to learn more free way of drawing.