Pinkamena

i know how it is having an eternal sadness i cant escape the sadness and i just cant ceep it inside me either i let my sadness and anger get out over my friends they get mad and they almost left me last time. i have cut myself 2 times this week my first cut im living a nightmare.
it just startet once i got mad and i did something to my friend and i got sad because she got mad at me and now the sadness is still there.
i try to apologise for what i do to her but she just ignores me the hole day and the next day she sometimes is still mad but other times shes fine again and i had 3 friends once but she left us and now i have 2 but i have a feeiling im going to lose 1 more i just know ill be alone once.