As a young, single man, it is safe to say that I have enjoyed my single lifestyle for the past two or so years. Enjoying a sense of freedom and solitude which some people in relationships struggle to find. Yes, this lifestyle has been good to me. However, that being said, there have been many times in which I find myself wishing that I wasn't single. Times when I have wished that I had a lady to snuggle up with, enjoy a sunrise, gaze at the stars, or just simply enjoy a cup of tea with. A lady whom loved me for who I am; somebody who loved me more than just a friend. She would be a girl whom found my various faults (like god awful arithmetic skills, my awkwardness or my outrageously loud laugh) cute, accepted my nerdy interests, as well as being more than happy to snuggle up with me for an entire night without judging me for not wanting any follow up sex. A woman who I could completely and utterly open up to without any fear of rejection or no understand of how I felt. Alas, I haven't found a person like so.
I learnt to deal with my loneliness by simply telling myself that I enjoy being single. Sadly it worked, although the truth finds a way of sneaking up on me when I least expect it. Some of my friends know that I wish to have a meaningful, loving relationship sooner rather than later for I have told them. But what I haven't told them is that it is something that I have always wanted. Honesty is one of the values I admire highly, but I haven't been too honest with myself lately out of fear for being viewed as weak. It is only in these moments that I find myself being brutally honest with myself. When I wake up tomorrow morning, this (myself opening up) shall be a shameful memory of the night before which shouldn't be repeated for a very long while. The 'strong silent type' is supposed to be the manliest man of all men, but he sure as hell must be lonely.