C
literature

Come Home: A Pantoum

Daily Deviation
sandzen's avatar
By sandzen   |   Watch
98 44 5K (1 Today)
Published: October 23, 2012
You'll always come back to me
when the lights in the far hills
are done searching. For, new beds

entice adventurers. Too,
when the lights in the far hills
come home, the homespun dream they

entice adventurers too,
but they can't. (Dream we're neither.
Come home.) The homespun dream they

turn pioneers to homebodies,
but they can't dream we're neither,
our wanderlust fit to turn

pioneers to homebodies.
We've always made love free, so
our wanderlust fit. To

turn ourselves towards our home
we've always made love. Free. So
when the last adventurers

turn themselves toward their homes
in faraway lands, I know,
when the last adventurers

are done searching for new beds
in faraway lands, I know
you'll always come back to me.
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© 2012 - 2019 sandzen
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I was shy at first, timid in my dealings, I laced the trap against my throat, sang sparing, tip-toed around your poems. The tone, the slow vibrating from the shoots of my shoulders to the gleam of polished talons, it purred around inside me. Oh the song, Coyote, the same resigned call, it paled before you, swallowed down its insides, wept. I took your little hand in my big hand, flew out towards Crow, and for a while My Love, there were poems and the world was enough. I took to howling with you, down from the branches, safe womb of the tree, I spread dirt between my toes, sang happy, sang the song of free, your wild howl
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Comments (34)
Jade-Pandora's avatar
:worship: Hello! This wonderful piece of yours has been featured here: [link]
Reply  ·  
haijinik's avatar
haijinik|Student Writer
erm...pantoums are traditionally written with four line stanzas and interweaving refrained lines. otherwise, nice work.
Reply  ·  
haijinik's avatar
haijinik|Student Writer
i completely agree with you about the evolution of poetry! i have developed several forms from already existing forms. but i want there to be a delineation between the standard forms and the 'mutants' (i mean that in a good way). when i have time i will set up an experimental folder for fff (i need to do a sijo folder too).
Reply  ·  
Hey-Ocean's avatar
Indeed you did invent a new form of pantoum. It's cool though
Reply  ·  
Hey-Ocean's avatar
Claim "poetic licence" =]
Reply  ·  
Lit-Twitter's avatar
Chirp, congrats on the DD, it's been twittered. :)
Reply  ·  
MissLunaRose's avatar
MissLunaRose|Hobbyist General Artist
I have never read such a beautiful pantoum! Wow. You are a master with words.

I'd like to show this to my creative writing teacher, if you don't mind. :D
Reply  ·  
MissLunaRose's avatar
MissLunaRose|Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome. :huggle:

I just e-mailed my teacher with the link, and (hopefully) he'll show it to the class!

It's really cool that you've lectured at English and creative writing classes; I wish that I could hear you. :) I have to agree that creative writing classes are some of the best places ever. This is my first year taking a creative writing class, and the energy is incredible!
Reply  ·  
Nyiana-sama's avatar
:la: Congrats on the daily deviation!
Reply  ·  
Nyiana-sama's avatar
:huggle: You're welcome!
Reply  ·  
Jade-Pandora's avatar
:faint: A wonderful example of a pantoum -
congratulations! :+fav:
Reply  ·  
timeraider's avatar
timeraider|Hobbyist Writer
This is masterful use of the form. I loved reading this.
Reply  ·  
archelyxs's avatar
This is the best pantoum I've ever seen.
Have you tried writing a sestina? If you could pull that off too...well, fuck.

As you can see I'm at a bit of a loss for words. Here exists a pantoum, and, well, it's good, and it's beautiful. Unbelievable.

This is the most deserving DD. You are deserving of a gold medal, or a nebula.
Reply  ·  
archelyxs's avatar
Let's hope so! I'm really sorry for the late reply - a whole book of pantoums! I really admire your ambition, sadly from afar, with playing around with the fixed form - I've never been able to give it the attention it deserves. There will be a time and a place.
Reply  ·  
Hey-Ocean's avatar
Villanelles really fucking hurt.
Reply  ·  
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