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About Deviant Claire D. HawthorneFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 14 Years
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noelle's story by sammywalkers noelle's story :iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 1 0
always with these fucking tears.
grimy, greasy lifestyle, both in and out.
picking, scritching, scratching at eighteen scars.
mark it, mark up pocks of every fuck up. fuck it.
stop with the vile cloud on the viral tongue
and stop with the noxious bleeding from the grey.
big words hide big pain.
:iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 0 0
emo poem #273
I am stuck in a perpetual cycle of my torrential emotions.
in and out of insanity, melancholy, hyperactivity, and loathing rage
like season and tides
and when it rains, it destroys New Orleans.
I take this anger out at the world, like a deprived teenager
sick of not being mommy's sole attention,
and in the process, I don't just hurt my loved ones -
I slice their throats open and watch them bleed in my arms.
and I don't want that.
at all.
I am a ticking grenade ready to fucking blow
and I don't want others to die for my life.
but if selfishness is half the battle,
then I've already lost.
:iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 0 0
horror story.
I am a monster.
a werewolf to the rising moon,
thirsting fragile skin in one hand
and a bullet to the brain in the other.
chain my broken wrists to the dungeon floor,
so my gruesome paws
cannot provoke
their jagged claws
into your throat.
I am the abomination
you never meant to create.
electricity surging where blood once ran
and fire to power the rage against me.
yet following the most tragic of falls,
I never asked
for you to see
the fear in my eyes
and the monster in me.
:iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 0 0
perhaps it's a verse that I've tried before
but it's left me with a feeling of wanting much more.
maybe next time I'll try to supply
or maybe next time I'll sleep with your eyes.
lock unto me, intertwine with my hand.
say that we couldn't; now I know that we can.
one hit's not enough for this addiction to settle.
mixed medication, and I've tasted you better.
arms around arms and your heart against mine.
with you here maybe I'd sleep better tonight.
:iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 0 1
beggers can't be choosers.
isn't the brevity of human contact so fascinating?
out quicker than the flick of a lamp,
cut off sooner than an ignored syllable,
smashed to bits quicker than a preteen's bleeding heart.
forget you.
if all you want to be is another tally in my book,
go right ahead.
pull the trigger.
but remember this little fact -
you can never reverse that bullet.
once laden into my skull, that's it.
our kin is forever dead.
you can't press the console's reset button
with a misbegotten apology.
the world just doesn't work that way.
I've deleted your likes from my life before.
what makes you any different?
:iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 0 0
place your hand on mine, untie your mind. by sammywalkers place your hand on mine, untie your mind. :iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 0 0
weak in the mind.
it's pretty late.
my eyes feel heavy, pulled down by sandbags
from the Sandman.
pour me another glass of reality.
something's not right.
it's like his presence hangs in the air
like the smell of sour alcohol.
my imagination feels bittersweet.
this isn't right.
he's not supposed to be here.
his yellow eyes aren't supposed to be watching me.
pretending he's the manifestation
of my fucked-up semester
and my drunken tiredness.
expel, thee demon who sends chills up my spine.
be gone from my false memory.
be gone from my sacred room.
there's red tick marks.
scratched like teenage scars.
they say it's late.
they say to sleep.
maybe I'll sleep.
:iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 0 0
kickin' the dry spell.
am I supposed to lay here
with my stomach out to Timbuktu?
trust me, kid. no one wants to see that shit.
is it my fault I'm so unsightly?
well, probably.
30 minutes at the gym plus 7 pounds of cake
equals out to a negative equation.
but then again, I'm an art major.
just like my looks, math was never my strong point.
is it my fault I'm not socially acceptable?
I guess so.
if my stomach shouldn't be shown on TV,
it's probably too gross for a belly button ring.
at least right up to the "trashy fat whore" line.
and let's not get started on Seabiscuit dentures.
I'm no where close to Hollywood Homely.
the only nice thing about myself is my handwriting.
no wonder I'll spend the rest of my life
behind the viewfinder,
not in front of it.
:iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 0 0
all the light that you possess. by sammywalkers all the light that you possess. :iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 0 0
like schizophrenia, but better
there's something about myself I've recently noticed -
I have two halves to me.
two parts to the same whole.
let's put in in simpler terms;
the first half is who is writing now.
the pseudonym that grew into a persona.
emotions transmuted in short bursts.
sometimes hopelessly romantic.
often fueled by an artistic rage.
this part has frazzled hair and mismatched earrings.
she is my drive, my poetic passion.
and for a while, she was my all.
but it seems the sea merchant has returned.
my other half is refined, with a simple beauty.
her only rage is when she forgets to hit 'save,'
though often she'll mouth off about how Act III
should just fucking write itself.
her language is brief, simple, but damn powerful.
or, at least, someday it will be…
funny, though, isn't it?
one passion, split between two names.
two personalities.
but two hearts to the same soul.
:iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 0 0
as you wish, Princess. by sammywalkers as you wish, Princess. :iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 5 7
good to get off the chest.
I'm usually quite pious

when it comes to love and hate –

a little smile goes a long way,
and who am I to judge a sad face?
but you, my dear, you
ruin every last of my vows and virtues.

there is not an inch of worth to your existence.

not a talented bone in your precious little body,

not an intelligent cell in your booze-fried brain,

not a humble word resting between your teeth.

you thrive on the spotlight of harsh words,

so maybe I'm still just filling your dirty dog bowl,

but these are the words I know we're all thinking.

I'm far from the Janice to your Regina, trust me.

I'm astounded, not obsessed

at how ridiculous a human being you are.

so, laugh now.

throw your head back and call me names,

but revel in this privilege

of a poem named after you

while it still lasts –

because someday,

while you're sitting in your baby-stained shack,
:iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 0 0
a fat girl's lament.
it's hard with itching hands,
fingers like metal detectors
and those sweets being pure gold.
but my look in the mirror says no.
maybe baby can steal a snack.
a quick sip of the soda can
and just a nibble won't hurt -
but my look in the mirror says no.
I don't want to look pregnant anymore
but those anxious days were so hard.
the way I looked versus what I felt
is a difficult decision to me to make
(unless that flat stomach comes, too).
and I wish I could just be content.
Nutella's taste is too strong for my wills.
those tight jeans, those tube tops
that fucking belly ring sans trashiness -
why can't it come naturally?
eat and drink and guzzle all I want
and still find time to be airbrushed beautiful -
can't it be worth withholding myself?
but my look in the mirror says no.
:iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 0 0
it's all in the wrist.
it's funny
how I can see my evolution
through my handwriting.
I'm not talking figuratively.
there's a distinct difference
between now and then
through the pen in my hand.
those sunny-eyed days
with an immature imagination.
scrawling, messy notations
before my thoughts
galloped away from me.
cartoonish, almost.
a childish exaggeration.
but now?
a reserved interpretation,
as the subjects on the paper
grew with gravity.
with each curve, I can see
that my creativity still runs free -
but my handwriting's grown up
alongside me.
:iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 0 0
I miss your face.
visible, mentally tangible
but not real.
like a ghost of a dream,
haunting the rapid eye movements
of what's caught between.
a holographic message a year too late
emitted from an unsuspecting teddy bear.
and while we're staying in theme -
the dying words of King Hamlet.
there's an emptiness causing this mind play.
the traveling distance betwixt,
separated by an empty gas tank.
the longing to count down the days,
the 11:11 wish to have my dream come true.
my imagination takes over the moments we miss,
to prepare myself for that day…
when you are physically tangible
before I close my eyes to sleep.
:iconsammywalkers:sammywalkers 0 0
my work.


541 black frame 1 by Tigers-stock 541 black frame 1 :icontigers-stock:Tigers-stock 343 30 Tree in the snow by archaeopteryx-stocks Tree in the snow :iconarchaeopteryx-stocks:archaeopteryx-stocks 712 254 Tree by darkrose42-stock Tree :icondarkrose42-stock:darkrose42-stock 355 117 Beta kids by GrumpyBuneary Beta kids :icongrumpybuneary:GrumpyBuneary 247 19 The Way You Make Me Laugh by Myed89 The Way You Make Me Laugh :iconmyed89:Myed89 1,619 193 Rebel by Saimain Rebel :iconsaimain:Saimain 2,394 449 joffrey by lamwin joffrey :iconlamwin:lamwin 406 82 Brienne and Jaime by kyla79 Brienne and Jaime :iconkyla79:kyla79 1,622 83 Enoshima Junko by Rin54321 Enoshima Junko :iconrin54321:Rin54321 700 15 Vriska vs Aradia by SonicRocksMySocks Vriska vs Aradia :iconsonicrocksmysocks:SonicRocksMySocks 716 18 Vriska by Kurosawa-A Vriska :iconkurosawa-a:Kurosawa-A 1,443 107 Alice and the Doll Maker by LadyRedDarkness Alice and the Doll Maker :iconladyreddarkness:LadyRedDarkness 519 25 couple 3 by wykystock couple 3 :iconwykystock:wykystock 357 37 energy shield tutorial by drago-w energy shield tutorial :icondrago-w:drago-w 98 15 Hazel and Augustus by siminib Hazel and Augustus :iconsiminib:siminib 866 37 Fault in Our Stars - Hazel by leabharlann Fault in Our Stars - Hazel :iconleabharlann:leabharlann 670 139
some cool shit.




Claire D. Hawthorne
United States
Current Residence: Montclair, NJ
Favourite genre of music: Alternative, Techno, J-Pop, J-Rock
Favourite style of art: Film
MP3 player of choice: iPod Nano.
Shell of choice: Koopa Troopa.
Favourite cartoon character: Danny Phantom. <3
Personal Quote: Fuck bitches, get Oscars.
  • Reading: The Stranger || Albert Camus




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InigoMontoyaa Featured By Owner May 18, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
sammywalkers Featured By Owner May 18, 2011
InigoMontoyaa Featured By Owner May 19, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
sammywalkers Featured By Owner May 19, 2011

(1 Reply)
Lord-Hayati Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello, NeTWuFfer!
sammywalkers Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2011
oh herro~
Jaypawfan690619 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2011
Oh wow.
You acctually are online.
Tuesday-Francesca Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Hey it's Ayeshah off Tumblr
your DeviantART is awesome :D
i love your writing<3
BlockedHead Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2010
RoseOnyxis Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello! I noticed you have a couple favorites on some of my photos and I just wanted to give you a heads up that I'm deleting all of my photos of other people (as opposed to my self-portraits) and resubmitting them to my second account :iconsharijoy: so if you care to, you may re-fav them there, I'd appreciate it :aww: Thank you!

Here is one of the photos you fav'd: [link]
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