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literature

I wanted to say yes.

Daily Deviation
Sammur-amat's avatar
By Sammur-amat   |   Watch
280 284 6K (1 Today)
Published: October 28, 2012
I wanted to say yes.

I wanted to take your hand in mine and like a couple of idiots, run through the heavy traffic and pouring rain, and keep at it till our feet resign.
We'd find a tree with branches wide enough with leaves broad or plentiful enough to take shelter under, and there, you'd place your head on my lap as I'd sing you my favorite love song. The song I'd always wanted you to sing to me.


If only I hadn't found out the hard way that your feelings for me are but as thin as an onion's skin and that I could never accept and bow down to no matter how suave your courting style may be. If only I was stupider than what I really am- maybe then I would have reciprocated to your efforts all my yearning I've kept sealed tightly, maybe then we might have had a chance.

When I told you to make things clear and to stop teetering between the fringes of my hopes and dreams and the cruel loneliness that awaits, my blood was already thinning and I was gagging from my silent yet continually flowing tears.

It felt as if you were a criminal- a kidnapper with my child under your gun's command. It felt as if you were about to make your big escape along the borderline separating America and Mexico as I, the poor victim's mother- another victim as well in right and deed, pace and wail and rip my soul to shreds while waiting and dreading for news of your capture and the well-being of my child.

The minute you told me, so very nonchalantly, that you wanted me but still wanted to keep things easy, that I should slow down- I felt an avalanche coming down. My organs froze and I lost all the senses in the tips of my fingers and toes. I was buried under what felt like miles of endless bleakness as I just stood there- frostbitten.


I ignored you for longer than I could remember, but you haunted my days and nights nonetheless. You were never a kind creature, I confess, and I regret it all. But still. I wish I could have, for once, let go of all my restraint and fears and just put my trust in you like the fool my heart really is.

Because when I lie in bed at night, recalling the reason why I can never sleep enough or eat just right, I remember you and I, I remember how against my better judgement


I wanted to say yes.
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© 2012 - 2019 Sammur-amat
A piece of prose pie :la:

Hope you guys enjoy the read! :eager:
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I WOULD SUPER LOVE TO SEE COMMENTS, THANK YOU!!:heart:
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Critiques:
Was the story line clear?
Which line did you like/dislike the most?
Was there real impact at any instance?
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I wrote you letters of these hollow woods, perhaps your tongue was tied or planing out your teeth with supple motion licking forth a better smile a brighter future, at least you never answered or gave word that you had seen the fog riding from beneath the trees on grey stallions or that the woods themselves were leaning out and giving way and turning grey, mist breeding hollow spines on brittle branches.
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acceleration = gravitational pull / mass You didn’t send my heartbeat into a frenzy the first time I saw you. It was a month or two before I started feeling the little palpitations inside my chest and made sure that my hand accidentally brushed against yours every now and then. (I wanted to make sure you got used to the feeling of my atoms colliding with yours.) I told myself it was stupid and simply physical. You weren’t pulling my heart strings, you were toying with my belt buckle by smiling at me across the room and asking me to spend time with you on a Saturday afternoon. I was sold by the time you pulled into my driveway a
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Comments (234)
coconut-chutney's avatar
I absolutely adore your penmanship, or should I say penwomanship ;) 
I cried when I read this. I was filled half with the joy of reading something so well written and half with the sadness of the prose. 
Don't ever stop writing. And you should definitely publish! <3
Reply  ·  
Sammur-amat's avatar
Sammur-amat| General Artist
uber sorry for the late reply and thank you infinitely for your kind words! i am so glad to know that a piece of me was able to touch someone as deeply as it did you! thank you! :huggle: <3
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autumnlit's avatar
:blackrose: Your lovely poetry has been featured here: fav.me/d6ogtjc
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Sammur-amat's avatar
Sammur-amat| General Artist
ah, thank you ever so kindly, lovely soul! :huggle: <3
Reply  ·  
amrgalal7's avatar
amrgalal7|Hobbyist General Artist
You rock :#1: and you deserve the DD, congratulations :happybounce: :clap:
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Sammur-amat's avatar
Sammur-amat| General Artist
ack! :blush:

thank you so much, kind soul! :thanks:
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amrgalal7's avatar
amrgalal7|Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome :huggle:
Reply  ·  
Venry's avatar
Venry|Student General Artist

SO BEAUTIFUL :love:

 

Sorry for the late congrats.... But congrats on the well-deserved DD! :clap:

Reply  ·  
Sammur-amat's avatar
Sammur-amat| General Artist
i'm so happy you like it! :love:

thank you so very kindly, dearest! :huggle:


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Venry's avatar
Venry|Student General Artist
:glomp:
Reply  ·  
saltwaterlungs's avatar
BRAVO FOR THE DD
it's much deserved, as this piece is perfect and poetic and hte wording (as it always is) was perfect. you're very talented, and i've come to appreciate your work more and more, as well as you as a person because you have taken to reply to every comment on here, even if there's thousands. you, my friend, are something else.
Reply  ·  
Sammur-amat's avatar
Sammur-amat| General Artist
thank you so so much, you loveliest creature, you! :tighthug:
awwh, i'm so very happy and humbled and honored to have your high regard, darling ms. hannah.
people like you make me so very happy to be on dA and so in turn, i thank you for
being something special to me as well. :heart:
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saltwaterlungs's avatar
Aw, no problem. And thank you :heart:
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Sammur-amat's avatar
Sammur-amat| General Artist
but of course, you are such a sweet girl! :heart: :heart: :heart:
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introverted-ghost's avatar
This has a real prosetry feel, to me.
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Sammur-amat's avatar
Sammur-amat| General Artist
yeah, i think so, too. :heart:
Reply  ·  
autumnlit's avatar
:clap: :love: Excellent and points well made. It does seem like at times in life, there are things that feel like they would have been easier if we hadn't known better, but there are things we just know better in and have to remind ourselves of that fact. :heart:
Reply  ·  
Sammur-amat's avatar
Sammur-amat| General Artist
Exactly the emotions I wanted to convey! Can I just say how blessed I am to have such a splendid friend in you? :love:
Reply  ·  
Sammur-amat's avatar
Sammur-amat| General Artist
:tighthug:
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IyraEMM's avatar
This is so beautiful :') I love the imagery. This is exquisitely written, with just enough simplicity and heart-wrenching emotion. Congrats on the DD!! You're a stunning writer and really deserve it :heart:
Reply  ·  
Sammur-amat's avatar
Sammur-amat| General Artist
Golly, lady, you're just the sweetest, kindest thing ever, you know that? :tighthug:
Coming from a wonderful writer and a source of inspiration such as yourself, gives it an even deeper meaning! Thanks again, sweetheart! :love:
Reply  ·  
IyraEMM's avatar
Awww :heart: you're very welcome :tighthug:
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