Somewhere north-west of Auckland, down in the Antipodes,
There lives, in the form of a human, a warty poison-toad.
The Lions Club and Daimler Club lie within his habitat
And being oblique, obtuse, and rude, are what he's quite good at.
His resumé seems impressive, and he claims to be quite old,
But often, in demeanour, he's really quite the troll.
I hope he has arthritis, diabetes, and the Gout,
And that members of his family knock him quite much about.