Speaking Well of Marriage

These weekly devotionals I will be posting come from and are copyright to Pam Iannello, my pastor's late wife who went home to be with the Lord on June 18, 2008.


I'm going to be doing the Marriage Series for the next few weeks not only for you, but mainly for myself. I realize that there is so much I need to learn before I am married and that God's not done stitching my inward attire to make me presentable to Matthew. I've been trying to stitch my inward dress myself and I've made a mess of it. I never was good at sewing. But now I'm handing the needle back to God because I know He can take my mess and turn it into something beautiful that will cause Matthew to turn cartwheels.



This devotion is part of the "Planning a Successful Marriage" series.

The summer months are usually very popular times of the year in which to plan weddings and beautiful brides can be spotted everywhere during this particular season. What do you think are the most meaningful parts of a wedding ceremony? What emotions do you associate with a wedding? Do you usually cry when you see the bride walking down the aisle toward her groom? Are you crying because you believe marriage is truly a blessing, or because you feel sorry for the couple and the struggles that lie ahead of them?? Long lasting marriages are always an occasion that cause much reflection on the goodness and grace of God. That's exactly what we are going to do as we look closely at Psalm 45 over the next few days.

Ladies, did you know that this portion of scripture is a wedding hymn that would have ordinarily been sung at a royal wedding? As a matter of fact, it is this special event that prompted the writing of this poem to begin with. Of course, if you examine this Psalm with spiritual eyes, you will see the correlation of the marriage of Christ, the Bridegroom, to the bride, His church. Even so, we are going to apply it to our lives on a more personal level today. As married couples, we ought to take every opportunity we find to praise the institution of marriage and our spouses! Marriage is a good thing and should be portrayed as such, as verse one of our text illustrates:

My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer.

I wonder dear lady, are you usually found speaking well of your marriage or the institution of marriage in general? When you speak of the things that relate to your husband, what kind of a writer are you, O wife?? The psalmist's tongue was guided by the Spirit of God, as is the pen by the hand of a ready writer, and so should our tongues be guided in the same way! This psalm is touching King Jesus, His kingdom and government. When your words speak of matters touching your husband and what it is like to be married to him, how are you usually found presenting your marital situation? How do you speak about the king of your home, your God-given authority? Is your tongue an instrument in the hands of the Lord or a tool in the hands of the devil? If your heart isn't properly prepared, dear wife, then it is best to keep your mouth shut!

Mark 10:9
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

As godly wives, we should be as overjoyed as the psalmist is with the opportunity to speak good things of marriage and our husbands! We must be READY to utter praise, always looking for opportunities to publish good things about our spouses. Unfortunately, many married women seek that crack in the door where they can "tattle" on their men and extract sympathy from others for the unhappy condition of their union. Word by word they thoughtlessly untie what God has tied together… Do you regularly put asunder your marriage with your tongue, dear lady?? Do you have a bad habit of freely publicizing everything that your husband has said or done against you? That which proceeds out of our mouths corresponds to the grace that is found in our hearts… A faithful wife is a protection to her spouse's reputation. Be aware of the fact that your negative words are responsible for separating you from your own husband! In the end, most couples divorce because of the accumulation of little offences man and wife both make continual note of. Wives, if you truly love your husbands, you will seek to cover his transgressions, not expose them.

Proverbs 17:9
He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.

Women who would seek after love strive to compose their sentences from a heart full of affection for their husbands. Cold expressions are a sign of a cold heart, so why not warm your heart with gratitude and admiration for your king and publish better tales of marriage….

Psalm 45:2
Thou art fairer than the children of men: grace is poured into thy lips: therefore God hath blessed thee for ever.

Notice the words that are spoken to this king. He is openly praised as fairer than the children of men. Do you feel that way about your husband, ladies? You should! Perhaps your very own words have distorted your view of the man you married and maybe even his view of himself! Even if you don't always think him fairer than all others, you can at least make your husband feel that way, amen? Ladies, our husbands need to feel special in our eyes and should never be made to feel any less than the best of the best as far as we're concerned! If you don't try to make him feel like a king, I guarantee some other ready female novelist will come along and write some praise of your husband in your stead! Dear wife, if your marital pen has run dry, you had better ask the Lord for a fresh supply of ink so you can persist in writing good things about your man! As you pay attention to God's Word, you will be more mindful of your own remarks… By God's grace you can create sentences with skillfulness of expression and enthusiasm.

Proverbs 8:6
Hear; for I will speak of excellent things; and the opening of my lips shall be right things.

Has it all been wonderful? No, of course not, marriage to anyone is hard - but God's grace makes it possible for our marriages to last. No matter how long we have each been married, we can and should still speak joyfully of the years we've had together in spite of the difficulties. Teach the other wives around you how to publish good words about their husbands and lead by example in your writing of married life. Stop women when they begin to do otherwise and sharpen their vision when it starts to dim. Today marriage is practically a dirty word simply because we have dragged a godly institution through the mud and treated it disrespectfully. Who else but godly, Christian wives ought to be among the first to rise up and restore mankind's distorted view of a good thing! We of all people should be describing the king of our homes and his government suitably. Let's get going, ladies!! I've witnessed lost women who are better at married life than saved women and their husbands aren't perfect either. Marriage is a good matter; husbands are to be honored, not slandered. Just as Christ is worthy of our love and praise, so ought our husbands receive the same treatment.

Proverbs 31:11-12
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Do you ever wonder how your husband speaks of you at the work place, or when he is with the guys? Often times men use this opportunity to slander their wives and marriages as much as women do! What a shame... How difficult it would be for men to speak ill of being married when their wives have been speaking grace to them at home, amen? Ladies, whether we realize it or not, we guide with our lips and we can help our husbands think marriage is the greatest thing that ever happened to them - if we believe that ourselves and speak of it as such! You'll hear the echoes of your own words upon his lips and the lips of your children too. Pour grace into your man and he'll pour it back out all over you - that's what ministering grace one to another really is in action! Make it a blessing for your friends and family to hear you talk; they are the hearers of your words and you will either win or lose them accordingly.

Proverbs 22:11b
….for the grace of his lips the king shall be his friend.

Proverbs 16:13
Righteous lips are the delight of kings; and they love him that speaketh right.

Yes, the Bible promises that if we aim to be what God would have us to be, we will improve our own standing with our husbands. We will gain their friendship and loyalty, and please them greatly by employing righteous lips. All those who communicate tactfully will have many supporters. Therefore, never take too lightly the power of the tongue; we can build or destroy our marriages with so small a member of our body.

Psalm 45:2b
…therefore God hath blessed thee forever.

In closing, a successful marriage is always a triangle: a man, a woman, and God. When God's ways are followed, He will exalt the marriage where both partners diligently work to keep their talk free from guile. The Lord blesses these couples with grace during the very toughest moments in life, for it is the glue that keeps them close and strongly bonded together in love. When God's blessing is upon our homes and married life, bride and groom can anticipate celebrating many an anniversary together speaking of His goodness and the very grace that preserved their union. Future generations are touched too with the godly perspective that marriage is a good matter and should be viewed as such.

God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
Revised Edition 2003 Meet Ms. Pam

Other Rise and Shine Devotionals
New Beginnings Baptist Church Website