Marital Blueprints

The Shocking Message



These weekly devotionals I will be posting come from and are copyright to Pam Iannello, my pastor's late wife who went home to be with the Lord on June 18, 2008. They were written by a Godly lady for other ladies young and old so that their walk with the Lord may be strengthened.

Used with permission from New Beginnings Baptist Church.




This devotion is part of the "Tying the Marriage Knot Tighter" series.

A marriage seminar hosted for us by Adam and Eve!



To build a house we need a design and blueprint from an architect. The design should be both beautiful and comfortable. To build a beautiful, satisfying marriage to fill that house, we also need a wise designer's plan, amen? God, the master Creator, gives us that design in His Word. As we follow every detail of His plan precisely, then all building of our marriages will result in a perfectly constructed relationship between man and wife. This is what makes building a house so exciting! As you follow the architect's blueprints, working diligently at building as it takes shape before your eyes, then the purpose and the plan begins to make perfect sense. So too, the purpose and the plan for our marriages will become clear when the Blueprint - God's Word - is followed. Along with our understanding will come the excitement of building - but only once the construction begins! Are you ready to begin construction on your marriage today, ladies? If so we must look closely at God's design, so turn with me to Genesis 1:27 which says:

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Male AND female created He them, the Bible says… Even though man has grossly distorted God's plan by allowing same sex marriages, God's distinct design was made to be intelligible. Man was created to glorify the image of God, not pervert his prototype with feminine resemblance. Such attributes were not intended to frame the character of a man; they were intended for the female to bear. Hence, in marriage, there is a uniqueness to each sex that is brought into the marriage, which should help us to accept and respect one another, for God created us distinctively on purpose! And He said the difference was very good…

Genesis 1:31 (KJV)
And God saw EVERYTHING that he had made, and, behold, it was very good….

It's funny, but right after we marry our husbands, one of the first things women attempt is to CHANGE God's outline by trying to make our husbands similar to us! It is when we marry and live with our husbands on a more intimate level that we come to fully realize the depth of the contrast between men and women. We react by disliking the differences rather than respecting them, and immediately begin our own independent construction program on these men we've married. We are convinced God messed up when He designed man and now needs a woman to help to "re-form" what the Lord has already formed! It's true; don't deny it ladies! We try to renovate our husbands into beings just like us; we have our own plans for them and for our marriages. We want men to see, think, feel, understand and respond to life as we do! But God, in His infinite wisdom, has not designed them to act this way, it is not part of His family blueprint, and all women would do well to appreciate God's plan and leave it alone! His is the BEST plan by which to build. It is when we try to change the Lord's design that we become most miserable… God declares it GOOD that we are different, even if we don't like it! Accept the differences in your husband - that is the first thing you must work on if you intend to have a satisfying marriage.

Ephes. 2:10 (KJV)
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

Within the realm of our unique differences, God gave men and women specific responsibilities accordingly. These too, are part of His master plan for building a happy home. We must each accept and willingly follow God's order and fulfill the tasks He has laid out for us. Not all construction workers do the same job when building a home, amen? There are different jobs that each must do, and so it is within our marriages. Men and women are designed differently, both emotionally and physically, in order to carry out their assigned purposes. Let's look at the man's responsibilities first in light of verses 8 and 15 of Genesis chapter 2...

Vs. 8
And the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.

Vs. 15
And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

This is the first occupation in the Bible, the job that God gave ADAM to do. God planted the garden Himself and then placed Adam there in the garden to work it even before Eve was formed. Man was to be the one who worked outside the home; it is his God given responsibility. As we cross-reference this verse with verse 19 of Genesis 3, we can see that after the fall of man occurred, God spoke to Adam and told HIM that his workload would increase as part of the penalty for his sin. God did not address this penalty to Eve because this was not a responsibility that God had designed for woman. As a matter of fact, her penalty was to be sorrow in childbirth. So ladies, let's operate within the boundaries of our duties as men and women and follow God's design for our lives. The Lord set up these limitations for our own good and the good of our homes so that both sexes would be satisfied. Simply put, men and women were each created differently so that that we might be able to manage our God given responsibilities. This part of God's plan must also be accepted if we are to become fully satisfied within our marriages. Let's look at woman's responsibilities now in light of verse 18 of Genesis chapter two which says:

And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

For the first time God has declared something in His creation was not good! I think we should sit up and take notice of it, don't you? If God were to come to your house today and knock on your door and tell you that something in your life was not good - wouldn't you listen intently to what He had to say? I sure would! Well, ladies, here in His Word, God is telling us something that is not good and it's the same thing as having Him in person, amen? The Word IS God, the Bible says. So then, what is it that is not good? It is not good that the man should be alone….

Is your husband alone today? Yes, it's true, even as married men our husbands can be alone! Alone in their daily plans and goals, alone in their sexual desires, alone in their dreams for the future, alone in the way they spend their leisure time, alone in their walk with the Lord and ministry, alone as a parent… Woman was created to be a helpmeet, a suitable helper designed to come along side her husband and be a companion to him in all of these areas of his life and more! What emotions do you associate with the word "help-meet"? Do you truly desire to unite with your husband and be his companion - even in that which you do not enjoy, understand, or agree with?? Is there a willingness on your part to accompany him through everything? Or do you desert your man whenever he differs from you? If that is the case, then your husband is always alone!! Oh, physically we are still joined in matrimony, but in our hearts we have abandoned them… Ladies, understand that God designed your position as his wife to prevent your husband from being without help and comfort in his work. Is there anything hindering you today from from submitting to God's perfect plan?

Eccles. 4:9-12 (KJV)
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.
For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. [11] Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Today many men, though married, are still lacking a loyal assistant. I hope your husband is not one of them! I hope you have not left your man alone just to fulfill your own selfish desires or dreams. I hope you have not gone your separate ways due to the fact that you don't like what he likes. By the way, do you prepare what your husband enjoys for dinner, or only what you and the kids prefer? Is he alone in his favorite foods?? Is he alone in his sexual desires most of the time? Do the two of you come together physically only if and when YOU are in the mood? Do you react to your husband's need for physical intimacy as if he were a bother? I hope you have not left him devoid of support simply because he is making a decision with which you do not agree. Are you opposing your husband even in front of your children? Do they observe that their father is alone in most of his decisions, or is their mother his companion in all matters of life? I hope you have not left your husband alone in fathering your children by letting them clearly know you do not agree with his parenting techniques or a decision he has made in regard to them. Do you freely and regularly undermine his authority? I hope you have not deserted your husband in his ministry by never cooperating with him or cheering him on to serve the Lord. Do you ever become resentful of being left alone while he is away from time to time ministering to others? Do you pout and respond with, "Not again!" Do you resent the time that he is reading his Bible and praying rather than helping you with the kids? Maybe your husband has felt the Lord's leading in regard to finding a better church, or starting up a new ministry but you are resisting him in that decision, and have left him to search alone. Perhaps you aren't attending church at all at present, and your husband wants to begin. Is he by himself in this pursuit?? I hope you have not left your husband alone in his failures because you are out to prove that you knew what was right all along and thereby punish him for not listening to you! Perhaps you have a husband who is not saved or growing in the Lord right now... Have you inwardly deserted the one to whom you made a commitment before God to stay with for better or for worse?? Can you honestly say today you desire to accompany your husband in ALL his failures, dear lady?? Men are not stupid; they know when their wives have abandoned their post, because God has designed them to need a helpmeet! They can tell when sincere help is missing…. Are you AWOL in your marriage??

Proverbs 31:12 (KJV)
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Today, let's take thorough inventory, asking God and our husbands if there are any wifely areas where we have gone astray and purpose to be the kind of helpmeet that God intended a husband to have. Ladies, this is what it means to begin constructing a satisfying marriage! If you're married today, you've already got your building permit! Don't waste time - get to work! Follow the blueprints in the Bible, given by the master Creator. Proverbs 14:1 says, "Every wise woman buildeth her house"… I hope that's you!

God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
Revised 2003 Meet Ms. Pam

Other Rise and Shine Devotionals
New Beginnings Baptist Church Website