Choosing Bridesmaids

These weekly devotionals I will be posting come from and are copyright to Pam Iannello, my pastor's late wife who went home to be with the Lord on June 18, 2008.


I'm going to be doing the Marriage Series for the next few weeks not only for you, but mainly for myself. I realize that there is so much I need to learn before I am married and that God's not done stitching my inward attire to make me presentable to Matthew. I've been trying to stitch my inward dress myself and I've made a mess of it. I never was good at sewing. But now I'm handing the needle back to God because I know He can take my mess and turn it into something beautiful that will cause Matthew to turn cartwheels.



This devotion is part of the "Planning a Successful Marriage" series.

We're still walking down the aisle with our bride this week and this morning we're going to find out a little bit about her bridesmaids, her choice female relationships, as we look at one of the most important qualities not only a bride herself should have, but her companions as well! What qualities do your closest and dearest friends hold? How do you benefit from their character traits? You might be wondering what this might have to do with marriage, but ladies, the values our companions hold will either hurt or help our marriages and our attitudes toward our husbands in general. Is marriage sacred to the friends you fellowship with most often, spend the most time with and listen to? Let's see what there is to learn today from the Word of God concerning this very important matter as we look at more of verse 14 coupled with verse 15 of Psalm 45...

....the virgins her companions that follow her shall be brought unto thee. With gladness and rejoicing shall they be brought: they shall enter into the king's palace.

We learn that virgins are the bride's companions, the ones who attend to her. How would you define a virgin? Webster's 1828 dictionary defines it perfectly, for it says "a woman who has had no carnal knowledge of man". Isn't that a beautiful picture? A rare one to be sure! Now let us go one step further in defining a virgin.... What does the word "carnal" mean? It is defined as "pertaining to the flesh, sensual, lustful". A virgin, therefore, is not only a woman who has not known a man through sexual intercourse, but she is also not given to fleshly, lustful appetites for things that are worldly or carnal. What could be so dangerous about having carnal companions as long as the bride does not follow what they are doing?

Romans 8:7
Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.

You see ladies; the Bible says in our text today that the bride's companions were brought unto the king along with her. Moreover, they are brought with gladness and rejoicing; they are companions that are happily willing to subject themselves to the law of God! They are companions that both desire and strive to please God. Whether you realize it or not, when you get married you are bringing your friends into your union with your king. Why do I say that? Well, common sense should enlighten you to the type of marital advice and attitudes companions like these are going to provide the newly wedded bride with whenever she may struggle in her married life!

Psalm 119:63
I am a companion of all them that fear thee, and of them that keep thy precepts.

Think about it for a moment.... What are your closest friends attitudes toward their husbands? Toward marriage in general? What kind of marital advice have you been heeding lately? What kind of marital advice have you been giving?? What kind of examples have your companions been for you to pattern yourself after concerning married life? Is it a pattern of faithfulness or infidelity? How have your "bridesmaids" attended to you in your marriage? What kinds of things have they been saying to you about your husband, your king? Are they planting worldly seeds of unrighteousness in your heart and mind, breaking down your reverence of your king, advising you to get a divorce, or counseling you to look to the Lord for strength to continue on in your marriage when times get tough? Would they be quicker to pray with you or quicker to help you pack your things and leave?? Women that are first friends with God are the choicest friends of a bride. We should choose our closest companions from those who respect and submit to the Word of God. If submission is what they are living, submission is what they will pass along to any married woman! Therefore, as wives we are to be virgin in our thinking, untouched and undefiled by the world's perspective and faithful to the Lord. Such purity of mind will only enhance our ability to love our husbands as God intended us to....

Song of Solomon 1:3&4
Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee. Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee.

Therefore do the virgins love thee... Ladies, when our thinking is virgin, untarnished by a worldly attitude or even a worldly friend, we can love our husbands properly! Your husband's name is to be to you as one who is wonderful, not horrible! So wonderful is his name that you can't keep it in, you must pour it forth that all may know it's sweetness and splendor, that they may know how wonderfully you feel about your groom and your marriage. They are precious and pure thoughts that you should think of your husband; do not let anything come along and spoil your relationship!

According to Webster's dictionary, another quality about a virgin that I feel I must point out is that a virgin is not is a mother. Many wives, including Christian women, treat their husbands as if they were their children. They verbally correct them, physically punish them and constantly try to mold and shape them like children under their management. Dear wife, you are not your husband's mother so stop behaving as such! Did you bring a virgin mind into your marriage or did you bring a tainted one? What have you been dwelling on of late concerning your king - the right things or the wrong things? How many times have you withdrawn from a physically intimate relationship with your husband because of the pollution residing in your mind? The wife who is upright in heart and mind toward her groom is the wife who will be glad and rejoice in her marriage. She is free to love her husband as a virgin without a carnal mind and mothering inclinations, devoid of sinful thoughts to hold her back! All who are pure and whose affections have not been pledged elsewhere can love in a spirit of loyalty.

Proverbs 23:7a
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…

Ladies, as married women you know your impure thought life will spoil your devotion and attraction to your groom! Our heart's desire should always be such that we are ready to be united with the king in his chambers, for it is where he takes only the one he has chosen in this life above all others. Does your husband have any rivals that he is unaware of today that threaten your love for him? As brides, we owe our love and allegiance to one man, our king! As brides, we should seek after the right way of thinking toward our husbands; otherwise, we are guilty of unfaithfulness to them! We are to delight in the companionship of the one to whom we have betrothed our affections and undying loyalty, we are to rejoice in our marriages, and we must keep our minds pure in order to do so! No doubt, the most sacred treasure the bride brings into her marriage, as a gift to her groom is her virginity, which has been preserved all her life. And the best companion any bride can carry along with her through married life is the companion of a virgin mind - a pure mind - for it is a mind that is subject to God and will be ready to love her husband at all times.

In closing, guard your minds and preserve them, ladies! Do not pick worldly friends; pick friends who are subject to God and who are found frequenting His house, walking in His ways and counseling you likewise! Be very sure your female companions are not going to make carnal contributions to your thought life, for your relationship with your husband and God is at stake! If you as a bride want gladness and rejoicing to be present in your marriage, if you want to banish all sorrow and sighing from the doorstep of your home, if you want to be free from strife and division and experience lifelong peace with your groom, get rid of the carnality, for carnality only brings death....

James 4:4
Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

1 Cor. 3:3
For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?

Romans 8:6
For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

I hope each of you will endeavor to keep the world out of your heart, out of your mind and out of your home! It is a threat to marital bliss and misery is no fit companion for a bride. Choose the attendants of your marriage wisely.

God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
Revised 2003 Meet Ms. Pam

Other Rise and Shine Devotionals
New Beginnings Baptist Church Website