A Perfect Companion

The Shocking Message



These weekly devotionals I will be posting come from and are copyright to Pam Iannello, my pastor's late wife who went home to be with the Lord on June 18, 2008. They were written by a Godly lady for other ladies young and old so that their walk with the Lord may be strengthened.

Used with permission from New Beginnings Baptist Church.




This devotion is part of the "Tying the Marriage Knot Tighter" series.

A marriage seminar hosted for us by Adam and Eve!



In our last lesson we looked at the fact that God said it is not good that man should be alone. I hope every one of the married women who receive this devotional have been working hard at becoming a good companion to their husband since then! Do not be hindered by his shortcomings though… To be the right kind of companion, we are going to need to be patient with our husbands - even when they are not perfect companions for us to be with! There are things that God is still going to make known to them and remove from their lives while teaching them about marriage as well. Focus on being a long-suffering and loving companion, trusting God for the well-being of your home. Perhaps your husband has not yet realized what a benefit there is to having a wife. Trust God to open his eyes, it takes time! You'll see that today as we continue on in our study of Genesis chapter 2 where God is going to begin stirring up in Adam the desire for a perfect companion. At this point in time, Adam does not realize it is not good that he should be alone. There comes a time when every man looks for a wife - and the Bible says in Proverbs 18:22 it's a good thing when he finds one… In view of that fact, observe how the Lord creates this desire for a helpmeet in Adam's heart, and sends him looking for a wife…

Genesis 2:19-20 (KJV)
And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

I wonder how long this whole process of naming the animals really took? Quite a while I imagine, for there are some 17,000 air-breathing species of animals in existence today! Over time, this parade of animals must have intensified Adam's loneliness, amen? I wonder if the job of naming all the animals started out to be a very enjoyable undertaking, followed by Adam becoming increasingly conscious of his own solitude. Perhaps restlessness settled on his heart, toning down his interest in animals, thereby developing into a yearning for a more satisfying creature with which to spend his time.

Notice that Adam didn't alter his performance but carried on in spite of his desire not having been met. It's fun to imagine how these events unfolded, yet at any rate, Adam did come to realize that there was not an help meet for him like there was for all the other animals. What an education in science he must have received while spending all that time with the animals! No doubt he observed the playful, helpful, and protective behavior of each species, as he was busy giving them names. Perhaps these observations stimulated a wish for his very own companion - someone to which he could give his name, someone with which he could walk and talk, with which he could eat and play, share life with as the animals had, someone who could help him in every way. Ladies, this timely process has taken place in the lives of many a man prior to marriage since that day in the garden. There comes a time for men, when doing their favorite things all of the time just isn't enough anymore, it is no longer fulfilling unless there is someone with which to share it. As the Lord parades various circumstances across the path of a man's life, it occurs to him that the time has come for him to seek a wife, the need for companionship arises and the search begins. Yes, born in Adam was a desire for a close relationship, a need for a wife… What was God's part in meeting Adam's need? What was Adam's part? Let's read on in verses 21-22….

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

First of all, we notice that Adam rested in the Lord to provide a wife for him. He placed himself in the hands of his Creator, trusting Him for the timing of his helpmeet's arrival. The Lord was in the process of molding and shaping his woman; she was not yet ready to deliver to Adam! Ladies, we would do well to remind our sons that today God still brings godly wives to godly men in this way, if they would but look to Him for the right one and be willing to wait! Trouble is, most men don't rest in the Lord for finding a companion, they look themselves for one, and in their haste they use the wrong standards, looking in all the wrong places, ending up afterwards in miserable marriages or finding themselves alone again altogether. Encourage your sons with this portion of scripture, won't you? When God decides the time is right, He will bring the right mate along to the man, and she will be molded and shaped specifically and perfectly for him! The best thing a young man can do in the mean time is follow Adam's example and carry on with the job God has given them to do! Ladies, don't let your sons get discouraged and drop everything just to go out on a wife-hunting mission! It's a waste of their time, for only God knows where she is… When we obey the Lord and establish the proper relationship with Him, He then gives us our hearts desires…

Psalm 37:4 (KJV)
Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

There are two ways we can look at the next point mentioned about Adam in our Genesis text. We see that he was ready to make some personal sacrifices in order that he might acquire a helpmeet. You see ladies; Adam had to yield himself to God prior to marriage. Mothers, we must teach our boys from their youth to live sacrificially and submissively, for they will never survive married life with self-centered hearts! Perhaps God had a talk with Adam, Father to son, sharing what would be required of him as a husband. (Sounds like a good idea to me!) Perhaps Adam understood and accepted the fact that he would have to give some things up in preparation for married life, and consented to their removal. Yes, Adam gave of himself - a rib - something near and dear to him, something he had around all his life! This is not easy for a man, for the Bible says in Ephesians 5:29:

For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it…."

If Adam was going to give up something that he loved and cherished - a piece of himself, it was going to hurt and there would be a sore spot after the removal of his rib, he would miss it, but nevertheless, he was ready and willing to give this part of himself up. Where his rib used to be is where his wife now would dwell - by his side. SHE was to fill that precious spot in his life! Teach this to your sons, dear mother! It is important, and one day your daughter-in-law will thank you! It will be a hindrance to his love for his wife if your son does not realize that he must be a sacrificial giver of himself. Sacrifice is a repeated practice, not a one-time ordeal. Are your boys learning to give up things dear to them now, for the sake of others, even though they are not of marrying age? Teach them the art of sacrifice before it's too late!!

Acts 20:35 (KJV)
I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

On the other hand, Adam may not have known that his rib was going to be removed - the Bible does say the Lord took it! Perhaps Adam wouldn't fully realize until after married life the sacrifice that was going to be necessary. This is where we wives need to trust God! God will take away that which is more important to your husband than you in order that he might be a proper companion to you! Our Creator cares about our marriages more than we do… The question is - are you willing to trust God to do the necessary surgery? That means you'll have to be ready to sit in the waiting room for however long your husband's surgery takes! So often we wives want to remove all of our husband's ribs, amen?! We want to extract all of the bad habits, negative behavior, and obsessive hobbies that interfere with the health of our relationship with our husbands, those attitudes and activities that push us aside and hinder our marital intimacy. Unfortunately we operate in haste and that is very dangerous… We grab the knife and perform surgery instead of waiting on our Great Physician to carry out such delicate procedure. Let God do the cutting ladies, for He closes up the flesh when He does surgery! You and I would probably leave the wounds open with our unforgiveness, bitterness, and hard heartedness, and never find healing in our marriages. You see, God's Word does a perfect job of cutting, while our words would leave a bloody mess of things…

Hebrews 4:12 (KJV)
For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

What you and I as wives must come to realize is that the "rib" - those particular things that the Lord takes from a husband's life one at a time, is what God uses to make a woman with - a godly woman! He takes that very thing that is so precious to our husbands and uses it to mold us and shape us into the proper kind of Christian wife. We would all hope that God would use the easy things to mold us and shape us with but He doesn't - the Lord uses a bone, representative of the hard things in life, to make godly women out of us! For instance, my husband was a big drinker, a drunk in fact. It was a "rib" that definitely needed to be extracted from his life that was in the way of the health, success, and unity of our marriage. Drinking was dearer to my husband than I was, and came between us often. So too, was his addiction to pornography; both could have been the ruin of our home. However, God used my husband's sinful drinking habit and his affection for pornography - both very hard situations - to mold and shape me into a more loving, more patient, more trusting wife than I ever thought possible! All these qualities God knew would never have been developed in me if I were not willing to trust His steady, loving hand to perform the necessary surgery on my husband's heart! That is why the Bible says in Romans 8:28:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Consider for a moment, your husband's shortcomings… How do you typically react to them? Are you responding to their existence in a godly way by allowing God to use his flesh to develop godly character in you in response to his sinful nature? Remember, out of that rib God made a woman… Though it is a hard beginning for man and wife, there is no greater way to become a perfect companion for either one! Do you truly trust the Lord, dear lady?? Will you let Him create a godly woman out of you in this unique manner, the kind of woman that your husband specifically needs?? Would your husband be able to say that God has brought you to him? Ladies, God wants to mold and shape you into the perfect wife and then present you to your husband as a helpmeet he can truly call his own, and a perfect companion created just for him! Both husband and wife must willingly rest in the Lord while He accomplishes this perfect work of making one flesh of two.

God Bless,
Pam
Isaiah 60:1&2
Copyright 2000 Pamela A. Iannello
Revised 2003 Meet Ms. Pam

Other Rise and Shine Devotionals
New Beginnings Baptist Church Website