I cannot really find the peace to draw at the moment. And sometimes I doubt I ever will, but I notice it helps to have a bigger drawing surface.
So yeah. Maybe I'll draw one day when I get a bigger tablet. I don't like A4 for sure. I like A3 better, but I feel it's still too small, which is a bit ridiculous, but that's how I feel about that. At least right now. Maybe also before.
In the past, I guess, with drawing classes, I sometimes pushed myself to make something and I would make something anyway, like I once drew a face and I thought I could never draw a face like that, like, portrait style, sort of, it was good enough I think.
But now, I don't know. I'm very busy with other things, and I'm trying to get more into sports again.
Someday I'll get there. Now is not the time I think.
If I get a lot more time or a lot more drawing space then I'll consider it again but as it is now... I don't know. I think better not. It feels like I can't, like this, so.
And while I think about it like this and I have other things to do. I better do those first, I think. So that'll take a while. And it might take me a half year or so.
So I guess I'm sorry for getting into something I wasn't ready for yet, it feels. I just hate getting started at it.
Art is quite hard for me to get started with. Mentally. So I'll try to put the important things first now and put art somewhere more below my list.
I think it'll be allright in the end and in the end I will start to make art, but right now, no way it's going to happen because one it's hard for me anyway, has always been hard for me, to get started with it, two, now is by far not an ideal time for me.
I guess everyone has a different look at things and people can think what they think about it but I think I'll be back and draw something someday. But until that day comes I won't care about it either.
I'm happy for the people that I've been able to meet so far though, also one of my main reasons at the time for joining. But I have other things to do now and I couldn't care less about art almost. If that changes, I might change my mind. I just can't do it at the moment.
I'm not the type to finish a drawing, which is hard for me anyway, late at night or something, push my boundaries for that etc. I better work what I'm most productive at and what I need the most right now, and that is not art. If I were a skilled artist it might have been different but I'm certainly not as it is.
But I enjoy seeing art and one day I would like to make art, too, but I think I need to put that want far forward as it is right now, because really, I have others things to do and yes art really is hard for me to get into, because it takes effort for me to start something.
In a few months though, once I've completed a few goals on my list, I'll start trying again though. But as it is now, I'm not going to even try. Sorry to dissappoint, because at some points I have thought I could just 'do this' maybe, well turns out it's by far not that easy. For me at least. And also, the way my life is currently doesn't really give that much room for it.
So I don't know. I want to thank everyone but this account will be dead/inactive for a while I think. I'll return once I want to start drawing, and when I have some real time for it. Lots of time. Right now I don't.
But I'm glad I made this jump anyway, one day, because I met some people I wouldn't have met otherwise, and it set me another big goal to complete someday, well at least I know it's big for me. But now I don't have the time for it.
I might chat sometimes with people on here that I know, and especially I think if my friends on here, any of them is feeling down or anything, I want to try to help them if they want me to and they would ask. But art, no, not at this point. I can feel what's right to do at what moment and art is not one of those things. And it might take months before that changes.
But I'll promise one thing. I won't leave before I've created some good art, and maybe I'll never leave once I get there, because the last one's my goal. But right now, let the account be inactive. For six months, who cares if it can get me somewhere.
Yeah, and sorry to disappoint with my drawings as they stand too, haha, I guess. But seriously. I'll make something someday. I couldn't care less as it is. Some people are good at some things, and some good at others. This is hard for me. And if I'm good at other things that demand my time now, I better do those well first, and not fail that. That's what I'll be doing in the meantime.
Yes, they're pretty bad quality. They'll get better someday, but not now or anywhere soon. I still want to thank everyone though. And I don't really plan to leave yet. If I really couldn't do it then I would but I feel like there is this chance that it is possible for me to do this, but right now is totally not the time actually. I guess I'll see you all later again.
They're bad quality and I don't care. Fortunately I can do such things concerning art. With other things I can't. Now let me get back at those.
And then I'll return to art, later someday. And try to make something worthwhile. But as it is, no. It's hard and I can't as it is. Hopefully people somewhat understand that. Also, please forgive my huge ego of myself sometimes. I never said so, but I feel like art isn't something one just does, and I feel that even more now.
So, huge respect for all artists out there. Big thumbs up for you guys and girls. But trust me, I'm good at other things and they have to take priority now, and I'll try art again later, at a better time. But I will try. I guess I'm sorry for making friends with people and then not putting anything worthwhile up but personally I think it's better to let it be as it is at this moment and I'll make something later.
I'll always be there to chat with people who need me but not for art, well at least not for some time now. And you know what, at this point I really don't care. Knowing that, not caring, is also passion sometimes, you know. It's the passion to know that you don't need to care about others' opinion sometimes and that you'll know how to do something worthwhile, be worthwhile, feel worthwhile, anyway.
There's many beautiful people on here though, especially inside their hearts, and I like/love this place. I'll be back for certain. I'll create for certain. But I'm feeling way too stressed and can't do it at this point, but I'll return. And I'll be an artist someday, I hope, but I can't do it now.
I hope that every artist on here is going to feel valued and succesful no matter what it is they do. Most people here are really nice. So thank you all for that.