Hugh's Sorrow. Ride's Death.

It's been a while sense the passing of the character of Rides the falling Waters. But I have been trying to get out how I would put this in the Sept's Silver Record. And I have it as thus... If it is offensive to anyone, Good. It is meant to be. Now the translation..:

High above the Twined Cities, I howl with no voice my pain.
Rides the Falling Waters my good friend has died.
Not in Glorious Battle, Not in honorable sacrifice,
But at the Claws and Teeth of another Gaian Garou!
One who's name shall be stripped of him in this Record!
He Violated our Litany when Rides bared his throat to him!
He did not allow for a honorable surrender
and tore out Ride's throat
when he heard the call of the Wyrm and gave into his Rage!
Strip him of his Honor!
Strip him of his Wisdom!
Strip the Coward of his Glory!
With his Judgment, he will be forced to help any Gaian Garou by putting Himself in danger!
And let his other name, One of Shame, One that be shouted loudly be known!

Johnny Jumps the Gun! You took a Wise Teacher from us! You took a great Storyteller from us!
Your punishment is not mine to make, but I take comfort in knowing Your Fate will be Just!

Rides the Falling Waters, Let this story of your death put your spirit to rest, return to the cycle my brother, return Gaia, and Return to Us once again my friend.