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I need an outlet for my pathetic rants. Since I don't have any plans for showing this account to my therapist, I'll post it here.
copy-pasted from the El Goonish Shive forums.
I've been bullied since at least second grade. At first it was just this one kid who nobody likes, and he was awful. But in fifth and sixth grade, the first two years of Middle School, my elementary school and about three smaller elementary schools were lumped to together in one big middle school. There were a bunch of jerks there that still torment me to this day. They were always saying something like they had run over a cat last night, loud engouh that I could hear. They did other forms of tormenting me too, always calling me crybaby. I hate myself for being so emotional. They are part of why I can't learn to like myself. If I start being happy, I'm just setting myself up for another blow of reality that I'm a freak. Telling the teachers didn't do anything, either. All they did was a slap on the wrist and a warning. By seventh grade, I'd given up on telling anyone. It's weird, but I trust people online like you guys and my freinds on DeviantArt more than I trust people I know IRL. Anyway, I don't see the jerks now that often, (going into my 10th grade year), but I still see them out after school and they still torment me. I had this joke that I was going to 'take over the world with a squirrel army' in seventh and eighth grade, but everyone thought I was serious. Seriously crazy, that is. I don't really have any real life friends. I just have companions. Kwieskita is the closest to a freind I've had in a long time. The other drama geeks and anime fans are just people that let me hang around with them. I don't really contribute at all, except for the occasional meow or random hug. I'm sorrry if I seem selfish for this rant. I don't intend to annoy anyone on here. *slinks away*
copy-pasted from the El Goonish Shive forums.
I've been bullied since at least second grade. At first it was just this one kid who nobody likes, and he was awful. But in fifth and sixth grade, the first two years of Middle School, my elementary school and about three smaller elementary schools were lumped to together in one big middle school. There were a bunch of jerks there that still torment me to this day. They were always saying something like they had run over a cat last night, loud engouh that I could hear. They did other forms of tormenting me too, always calling me crybaby. I hate myself for being so emotional. They are part of why I can't learn to like myself. If I start being happy, I'm just setting myself up for another blow of reality that I'm a freak. Telling the teachers didn't do anything, either. All they did was a slap on the wrist and a warning. By seventh grade, I'd given up on telling anyone. It's weird, but I trust people online like you guys and my freinds on DeviantArt more than I trust people I know IRL. Anyway, I don't see the jerks now that often, (going into my 10th grade year), but I still see them out after school and they still torment me. I had this joke that I was going to 'take over the world with a squirrel army' in seventh and eighth grade, but everyone thought I was serious. Seriously crazy, that is. I don't really have any real life friends. I just have companions. Kwieskita is the closest to a freind I've had in a long time. The other drama geeks and anime fans are just people that let me hang around with them. I don't really contribute at all, except for the occasional meow or random hug. I'm sorrry if I seem selfish for this rant. I don't intend to annoy anyone on here. *slinks away*
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