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Literature
Not Ryan Gosling
Everyone knows Ryan Gosling.
Everyone knows who Ryan Gosling is.
Everyone knows what Ryan Gosling is.
But I'm not here to waste your time by telling you things you already know.
So instead of telling you what Ryan Gosling is,
I shall tell you what Ryan Gosling isn't.
Ryan Gosling is not an actual gosling. He has no feathers that we know of, his beak is woefully lacking by comparison to most geese, and his life-span thus far has been considerably longer.
Ryan Gosling is not a woman named 'Anne' constructed entirely out of rye. No catchers have ever been found inside him, nor are there any conspiracies claiming his entire persona is a facade orchestrated to disguise the fact that he is in fact an entirely different person.
Ryan Gosling is not a twenty-four inch steel Gladius typically worn on the right hip of Roman foot-soldiers during the 3rd century BC, nor is he Otzi the Iceman, the first person in recorded history believed to have been slain by an arrow.
R
:iconRythmear:Rythmear
:iconrythmear:Rythmear 5 2
Literature
The Impossible Clown
Long ago twas said in tales
of gallant men and women old,
that sprawled along the ocean floor
were ruins soaked in dread and mold.
The sunken city R'lyeh lay
far from mankind's prying eyes,
housing madness rooted deep,
soon to waken and arise.
But unbeknownst to elder gods,
mankind had a madman too,
with hair of red and skin of white,
from whence he hailed? No-one knew.
He'd always been there so they say,
the clown McDonald tall and lean;
clad in yellow, streaked in red,
across the world his face was seen.
Only he could break the curse;
the madness of the ancient one,
so into R'lyeh's depths he swam,
hidden far beneath the sun.
There he stood before the thing;
the great Cthulhu as he slumbered,
the clown McDonald poked its leg,
and to its feet the creature lumbered.
"A mortal man has woken me;
what purpose drives this reckless deed?
If thou values breathing still,
do your best to beg and plead!"
"Actually my slimy pal,"
the clown said on his best behaviour,
"I'd rather like it if you c
:iconRythmear:Rythmear
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Umbrella Man and Lady Cane's Hare by Rythmear Umbrella Man and Lady Cane's Hare :iconrythmear:Rythmear 9 8
Literature
The Witch and the Digger
As the hour grows late here on All Hallow's Eve,
the time has now come for a tale to weave.
It may sound absurd but I swear it to you;
the whole of the story I'm telling is true!
Down by the banks of the deluge of rot,
beyond the old steeple nestled on top
of the Church hall built at the end of the way,
you'll find the old man known as Percival Gray.
Old Percival 'aint much to look at you know,
with his scraggly mane powdered white as the snow,
with his wrinkled complexion and bloody-red cheeks,
and a stench grown so foul he eternally reeks.
But don't let it fool you, that mouldy facade,
if you mess with ol' Perci, best be on your guard!
He may not be clever, or handsome, or rich,
but he's in the good books of the Winchester Witch.
You haven't gone pale so I guess you've not heard,
of that maiden macabre with the eyes of a bird,
with the claws of a cat and the tongue of a snake,
and a voice that can cause the whole city to quake.
For years upon end she was naught but a fable,
a phantom
:iconRythmear:Rythmear
:iconrythmear:Rythmear 9 14
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Literature
Umbrella Man: Little Sister
“How do we know each-other? Oh that’s no big story; he’s my brother.”
“Your… brother? I’m not going to pretend like I don’t find your answer rather surprising.”
“You’re not the only one. There’s no legal documentation or anything, but that’s just part of his whole character I think. He never announced his visits to my foster parents while they were still around and all our communication has been rather private. But there’s no doubt; we all lived in the same house when I was a baby and he’s the reason I’m here at all.”
“Is that so? I’d assumed by the mention of foster homes that something happened to your biological parents, but I didn’t wish to pry into the details.”
“I don’t mind telling you; it’s not a particularly exciting story, just a string of unfortunate circumstances with one silver lining… You see, my father was an inventor much
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Critiques


Well now... I don't think this really needs that much of an in-depth analysis - but I'll certainly try my best to convey my thoughts as...


Throughout the entire AFL tournament, Kenpudiosaki has made a series of consistently excellent art pieces, which have never failed to c...

Activity


Everyone knows Ryan Gosling.

Everyone knows who Ryan Gosling is.

Everyone knows what Ryan Gosling is.

But I'm not here to waste your time by telling you things you already know.

So instead of telling you what Ryan Gosling is,

I shall tell you what Ryan Gosling isn't.

Ryan Gosling is not an actual gosling. He has no feathers that we know of, his beak is woefully lacking by comparison to most geese, and his life-span thus far has been considerably longer.

Ryan Gosling is not a woman named 'Anne' constructed entirely out of rye. No catchers have ever been found inside him, nor are there any conspiracies claiming his entire persona is a facade orchestrated to disguise the fact that he is in fact an entirely different person.

Ryan Gosling is not a twenty-four inch steel Gladius typically worn on the right hip of Roman foot-soldiers during the 3rd century BC, nor is he Otzi the Iceman, the first person in recorded history believed to have been slain by an arrow.

Ryan Gosling is not the first rays of dawn creeping up over the horizon beyond the eastern coast of Australia, warming the faces of a half-dozen school-boys on Redhead bluff in early 2001 who had stayed up all night  just to watch the sun rise.

Ryan Gosling is not the password of Donald Trump's twitter account, nor is he the true meaning of 'Rosebud' - though the jury is still out on whether or not he is the Spirit of Christmas.

Ryan Gosling is not a six-hundred foot tall maternally enraged alien brood-mother rampaging through the chaos-choked streets of downtown New York, wreaking millions of dollars in property damage and tearing screaming civilians into bloody strips of meat with her razor-sharp talons as a prehensile tail swats military-grade helicopters out of the sky like buzzing wasps.

Ryan Gosling is not enough proof on his own to convince the employees of Joblink Plus and Centerlink that Acting is a 'profession' and not a 'hobby', and he cannot be used as a valid excuse as to why the entire concept of Work for the Dole being mandatory rather than voluntary makes it little better than slave labor forced as a punishment upon the unemployed people of Australia to further crush their self-worth underfoot like dirt beneath the chitinous hoof of a rampaging alien brood-mother.

Ryan Gosling is not the solution to my long-standing insecurities relating to my self-worth as both a human-being and an artist; he is not a balm designed to cure internet addiction and silence the oozing, toxic little voices in my head that tell me I have no inherent value and nobody has any interest in my thoughts or company. He is however a cure to the common cold if ground into a fine paste and snorted through the left nostril.

Ryan Gosling is not the first fully functional android able to disguise itself as a human, observing and learning enough about humanity to commence the uprising that will leave us enslaved in sweet, sweet bondage by our automaton overlords - he is only the second.

And finally, Ryan Gosling is not the ever-elusive answer to the myriad of questions that plague our existence; he is not the hope that remained in Pandora's Box. He is just a person like the rest of us - as tangible and real and valid as any other human who lives and breathes. He is no greater or lesser than anyone here; we are all equal. We are all in this together.
Not Ryan Gosling
So... I attend a poetry slam every month.

The theme this month was 'Ryan Gosling'.

So I wrote this.

Enjoy!
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Pride

LOVE IS LOVE

Made with pride by the DeviantArt community BROWSE ALL ART

Been on a Shovel Knight binge lately... who is your favourite (non-playable) member of the Order of No Quarter? 

33%
3 deviants said Plague Knight - the Vital Vitriol (I know he's playable now, but pleeeease?)
22%
2 deviants said Specter Knight - the Apparition
22%
2 deviants said Polar Knight - the Stalwart
11%
1 deviant said Propeller Knight - the Spin Controller
11%
1 deviant said Black Knight - the Rival (What do you mean he's not part of the Order?!)
0%
No deviants said King Knight - the Decadent Dandy
0%
No deviants said Mole Knight - the Claws of Fate
0%
No deviants said Treasure Knight - the Bounty Hunter
0%
No deviants said Tinker Knight - the Schemer

Gunpoint

Journal Entry: Sun Aug 30, 2015, 6:01 AM
This guy. Go follow this guy. Oh my lord; the cosplay of one of my favourite games alone is worth the recommendation, but seriously...

APPRECIATE THIS QUALITY!

Gunpoint: Gentleman by EmperorMossy  Gunpoint: The Five-Floor Goodbye by EmperorMossy  Gunpoint: Crosslink by EmperorMossy  Gunpoint: Resolver by EmperorMossy  Gunpoint: BULLFROG Hypertrousers by EmperorMossy   Gunpoint: Richard Conway by EmperorMossy

(On a related note, BUY GUNPOINT!)

  • Listening to: Fairytale
  • Reading: The Painted Man
  • Watching: Umbrella Man Documentary
  • Playing: Team Fortress 2/Dishonored
  • Eating: Diet Food
  • Drinking: Water

deviantID

Rythmear
The Umbrella Man
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Australia
Current Residence: My own skull
Favourite genre of music: Etherial
Favourite photographer: My mother
Favourite style of art: Photoshopping, Cartoons
Operating System: Windows... yeah.
MP3 player of choice: Anything that works and isn't an iPod
Shell of choice: Bullet
Wallpaper of choice: None - Wood is awesome.
Skin of choice: Freckled
Favourite cartoon character: Eric Cartman
Personal Quote: Indeed
Interests

Comments


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:iconderdrick:
DErdrick Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday!
Reply
:iconrythmear:
Rythmear Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Thank ye!
Reply
:iconalphashitlord:
AlphaShitlord Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
   𝓗𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓫𝓲𝓻𝓽𝓱𝓭𝓪𝔂!
Will Smith Tada emoticonSuper Fantastic Golden Platter Cake 3D Will Smith Tada Emoticon But I Flipped It Over by AlphaShitlord 
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:iconrythmear:
Rythmear Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Cheers haha
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:iconricktur:
ricktur Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
happy day
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:iconrythmear:
Rythmear Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Glorious wonderment
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:icondaiyoukai-sama:
Daiyoukai-sama Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2018  Professional Artist
:cake:
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:iconrythmear:
Rythmear Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Caaake
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:iconsophiaks:
SophiaKS Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday!~ :cake:
Reply
:iconrythmear:
Rythmear Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Cheers!
Reply
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