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trichster by rythiian trichster by rythiian
gotta love OCD-induced body dysmorphia

in all seriousness this is vent cause i usually use it to distract me from anxiety, but sometimes it's this uncontrollable urge that I have to follow even when I'm in the middle of doing something important like fuckin' falling asleep. and what sucks is, if I had my eyelashes removed with that lazer shit, i'd still have the compulsions but no eyelashes to pull and it would literally be fucking hell on earth for me. i'd find something else to obsess over, and that other thing might be way worse than my eyelashes

i dont think there's enough representation of body dysmorphic disorder, i only recently learned the term; the specific kind of OCD where your compulsions are targetted at yourself. not to be confused with dysphoria which is different but similar. my case is somewhat unique though, like, i hate my eyelashes and how they're these stubby little sharp bits of keratin in my fucking eyelids!!! but i also need them? so that I can pull them out? i dont know im a fucking weirdo and i hope maybe someone else out there can relate to this
Lucky-Puppy Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2018  Student General Artist
I have dermatillomania and onychotillomania, I pick at and rip up my nails almost every day, and whenever I get scabs/acne/etc I will keep picking it off and it takes forever to heal. I relate to how you feel like it's so frustrating b/c you're like?? aware that you shouldn't be picking at your skin/eyelashes/hair but you do it anyway, it kinda cycles between "I need this thing off of me" and "I need that thing to be on me so that I can pick it off".
rythiian Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2018  Hobbyist Filmographer
yes!! exactly!!
RaineOuShine Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2018  Student Filmographer
I can't really relate today, nor do I have OCD (I don't think)
But I did used to pull my hair out as a kid--A LOT--I'd just pull it out and eat it until I was practically bald. I didn't want to go bald, but I just couldn't stop pulling my hair out and eating it??
The only reason I got over it was because I kept being mistaken for a boy and I wanted long hair like my sisters, so I tried extra hard to ignore the impulse to just rip my hair out, Ahaha
I'm really not sure how I did it to be honest. I must have been very determined? Anyway, sorry for yakking away like that.
Either way, I hope you're able to overcome this, if that's what you're looking to do.
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Submitted on
June 13
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