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About Literature / Hobbyist Tara Alvarez27/Female/Guatemala Recent Activity
Deviant for 9 Years
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A Girl's Hope
A girl sits in the corner of the room
Crying her heart out, full of despair
Hoping and praying that her words in the air
Somehow reach the person she knows is there
But she's afraid, oh so afraid
It almost feels like her impending doom
Making herself known could be a path to ruin
But staying in that corner is not an option
Long ago she had made this deduction
She needs to be strong, oh so strong
She's hidden for years but it's time to bloom
Makes her way into the outside, leaving behind that rot
And she wonders as she finally lets herself go
"There's finally hope for me, is there not?"
And she's right, oh so right
But even now, a threat seems to loom
She's been indoors for so long, she's not known to the world
There's just no knowledge of what the future might hold
It might as well be a new beginning to her
That makes her feel scared, oh so scared
But the important thing is, the story isn't anywhere near over
She faces that fear and decides to move onward
Every beginning is scary, and
:iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 0 0
Asmodeus of Lust sig by Rugterwyper32 Asmodeus of Lust sig :iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 0 0
For You
I have one thing to say to you
you who have made me feel alive
you who have made my world shine
you know who you are
you are my
Light in the darkness
Order in the chaos
Veracity among the lies
Eternity among the finite
Yearning for the day
One day we are together
Under the same sun and sky
:iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 0 2
Fujibayashi Kyou Sig by Rugterwyper32 Fujibayashi Kyou Sig :iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 2 0
Some Thoughts
And so, we move with the burden we carry
Waiting for redemption of mistakes
A sorrowful fate we all have to accept
Shards of time fly by us and we move on
Life, the road we are always walking
We go by once, and it all changes
By the end, turn your back and walk away
Knowing you will never roam the same road again
And in our own ashes we stand by the end
Wondering if it will ever be the same
:iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 0 1
Driven Into The Night
And so, thrust back into the dark of night
The answer given silently
It brings night to all you don't say
Taking more than what's received
Just to keep losing it all
Drowning in the darkness of silence
So easy to forget oneself
One wrong step and so
Within sorrow one is consumed
Moving deeper into this darkness of night
Always hanging to the hope
That at the end, the light of day will be found
:iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 1 5
Kuga Natsuki Sig by Rugterwyper32 Kuga Natsuki Sig :iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 2 4 Tokiha Mai sig by Rugterwyper32 Tokiha Mai sig :iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 2 1 Yuuki Nao sig by Rugterwyper32 Yuuki Nao sig :iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 2 4 Hayate Avi by Rugterwyper32 Hayate Avi :iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 0 1
Esperando… Para volver a vivir
Esperando… Y analizando lo ya hecho
Esperando… Para evitar los mismos errores del pasado
Esperando… Y buscando el camino correcto
Dudando del camino a seguir
Formado por las líneas del tiempo
Un alma que esta a la venta
Cada segundo parece una vida
Si cerrara mis ojos
Si encontrara el camino
Si entendiera la realidad
Si me escuchara a mi mismo
Contando las horas
Buscando en la noche
Desaparece y regresa
Verdad tan anhelada
Podria estar esperando a alguien
Podria estar observándolo
Podria estar en frente de mi
Podria ser lo que en verdad deseo
Una pluma en el alma
Un final sin un inicio
Una oración vacía
Una falla creó al creador
Inocencia que desaparece
Ignorar para evitar
Una parte sigue ideales vacios
Otra quiere ser libre
Buscando el conocimiento
Buscando más allá
Buscando entendimiento
Buscando algo diferente
He visto mis sueños
Pero no los he seguido
El sol comienza a levantarse
Y así v
:iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 0 6
Not so far away
A feeling that stays inside
Something I do desire
Yet in this cold flame
Like this I'll remain
Unless something
Would get me out
The main obstacle
Remains no matter what
Far beyond existence
Something suddenly hits me
And then's when I notice
You're not so far away
:iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 0 2
Arriving Somewhere...
Following trails of lies
Facing the pass of time
Falling back to the start
Finding the true way
Still looking everywhere
Searching for a place
Seas of doubt around
Shattering reality
As the gates open
And the way is clear
Arriving somewhere
A place called home
:iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 0 1
Power, an evil seed
Sometimes -
In the wreckage that we see
We can hear a total stranger
Who is pleading for our aid
Sometimes -
We go against what we believe
We trade in virtue for power
Then we start to go astray
Sometimes -
We feel superior to others
Taking advantage of that power
We bring ruin and decay
The corruption -
Mind pollution -
Seed of evil -
Keeps untouched
All the power -
:iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 1 2
Dying Justice In A Dying Land
Madness unleashed by silence
We are the ones to blame
Corruption slowly spreading
We have to put it to an end
Break the binding chains of your people
Cut the bandages that keep them blind
We need to finally expose all the truth
The right to fight this back we all have
Try to read between each and every line
Silence is useless, impose all your views
In this land justice lies on it's deathbed
Fight to keep it alive, there's nothing to regret!
:iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 2 3
The world's now full of worries
You better think fast
People are manipulated
Just thinking is not enough
We all share that equally
The solution it's not that
Just go saying but not doing
The one who can make a change...
The ones that can turn this around
That is us!
:iconrugterwyper32:Rugterwyper32 1 4


Tara Alvarez
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Well, this is a bit awkward ain't it? It's been a good few years since I last was here. Almost 7 at this point, to be precise. And a lot has changed since. So taking that all into account, I think it's a good time to introduce myself as if it were the first time yet again.

So, nice to meet you, everyone! I'm Tara. I haven't written in years so it might take me a bit to get the hang of things again, but in due time I will.

Now of course, if you were here back then, you may be wondering, what's the deal with all this? This person wasn't named Tara and they sure as hell weren't a girl, right? Well, I used to think so too. You see, for the longest time I've had this really unhealthy behavior of bottling up all my troubles, keep them to myself and just hope they'd pass. While during the last few years I've improved that, the whole part about my gender was one I just used all arguments to keep at bay. But year after year, month after month, week after week, day after day... Eventually, it came to a point where I just couldn't hide from it anymore. I reached a breaking point. And then, sometime around July last year, it reached a point where it was messing with my sleep and I just ended up coming out to Sare after nearly experiencing a breakdown. And since then, I've just been figuring out when to do things and where. Who to open up to. How to move forward.

So that road has led me here. And I know what you're thinking, what do I stand to gain from this? Why am I returning to this site so long after my last time here? Well, I realized something. I like writing. More than anything, I just spend time these days analyzing series I love, picking up the pieces and just sitting down and making huge meta posts. That I write a lot of. But then I found a lot of old stuff of mine cleaning up my room last year, and I found some stuff I wrote back in high school. And on a whim, I just came back here to see my old works. And boy is it embarrassing. But at the same time, I know I did that and I want to face it to improve. Plus, it does help me realize how much I've changed.

So I'll keep writing. I'll press on forward and get better at it. And not only poetry, which is the main thing I've posted here. I want to expand it. It may just be a hobby of mine, but as it so happens, it's a great outlet and it'll sure as hell help me move away from some unhealthy behaviors. It's just the thing I need, stop overthinking and just write down what comes to mind, worry about the details later.

These past few years have been really mixed in so many ways. I've experienced some of the highest highs and some of the lowest lows in my life. But in the end, all of that helped me realize the good in me and all I'm doing wrong, and I'm taking steps to love myself for the good in me, and to love myself by doing my best to improve what I've been doing wrong. And it starts by accepting myself and trusting that opening up to others about it isn't the worst case scenario my head keeps making up for me, but that things can go well.

Because sometimes all you need to know is that if you just do it, things will turn out ok.

Journal History



Add a Comment:
naeCeal Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013
First 2013 comment!
naeCeal Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2011
You need more inspiration, bruggeh.
CovertSphinx Featured By Owner May 9, 2010
Thanks for the :+fav: !
Rugterwyper32 Featured By Owner May 9, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! :)
lycansoul Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2009  Professional Artist
gracais por el fav
Lauraaatjuh Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2009
Thank you for the fave :D :glomp:
Lauraaatjuh Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2009
Thank you for the watch :D :tighthug:
Nemesis-of-the-Gods Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hey, thanks for the comment and fave!! =]
Rugterwyper32 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! Great job you did there, that logo is a classic.
Daimonion-in-Sound Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2009
than you very much for listening to diabolus in musica...
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