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Woe is me

Journal Entry: Tue Feb 13, 2018, 1:48 PM
It's been a very long time since I bothered to update this journal. 
I have also been very lax about uploading new work. 
There is actually a very good reason for this, or rather, a very bad reason.  
I lost the vision in my right eye rather suddenly.  As you can imagine, that dimmed my spirits a bit and made photography somewhat difficult.
My right eye was actually my "good" eye.  My left eye is for shit.  Seriously, it's nearly useless for photography and getting progressively worse. 
So, I have been working very little.
I have one last big photo project planned.  After that, I will be shooting only very sporadically.  Instead, I will devote my energies to painting and writing. 
I have not come to terms with this as of yet.

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Listening to: Psychedelic dark metal horse shit on Spotify
  • Reading: Less than I should
  • Watching: My vision dim
  • Playing: For time
  • Eating: My heart out
  • Drinking: Too much coffee

Devious Journal Entry

Journal Entry: Mon Apr 10, 2017, 6:55 PM
My arm hurts.
Not as bad as it did.
But it hurts, nonetheless.

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Listening to: The new Rifle CD
  • Reading: Gibberish
  • Watching: Time evaporate
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: German beer

Bored and sore.

Journal Entry: Thu Jul 31, 2014, 6:05 PM
I am bored, yet I have so much to do.  
Need to finish outlining my novel.  
Need to get the easels placed so I can finish my commissions.  
I think I'll keep drinking and then go see a movie. 

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Listening to: Bad news
  • Reading: Dirty texts
  • Watching: Cats running through the house.
  • Playing: The future
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Single barrel bourbon

Things are weird.

Journal Entry: Thu Sep 19, 2013, 6:32 PM
All the things...
they are weird.




This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Listening to: My phone beeping
  • Reading: Weird texts
  • Watching: Cats running through the house.
  • Playing: With fire
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Weird coffee

Work a day

Journal Entry: Thu May 2, 2013, 6:32 AM
I have a shoot scheduled with Samantha on Sunday.  Of course, this is the morning after the Kentucky Derby.  I am amazed that she managed to corral a stylist willing to work in the morning.
I'm excited.  Sam has great, pale skin and dark, dark eyes.  She is also one of the smartest people I know.  I am eager to hear her input.



Crap, they are discussing The Great Gatsby on BBC.  Apparently, the British think it is the ultimate American novel.  They are all atwitter about the new Baz Lurhman film.  
I am a fan of Leonardo DiCaprio but he looks as much like Gatsby as one of my cats.

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Listening to: BBC radio
  • Reading: Camera manuals
  • Watching: Cats running through the house.
  • Playing: The Speed of Doubt, by Rifle
  • Eating: Smoked oysters
  • Drinking: Sumatran coffee

Hot damn!

Journal Entry: Mon Feb 11, 2013, 9:39 PM
Looks like I am going to Italy this year.

My camera is very excited.

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Listening to: Cats running through the house.
  • Watching: Cats running through the house.
  • Eating: Brussels Sprouts
  • Drinking: Expensive ass Scotch

Devious Journal Entry

Journal Entry: Mon May 14, 2012, 8:17 PM
My life is much better than I deserve it to be.
On Friday, I should be getting my dream studio.
Soon, I'll have cameras again.


Time for some expensive ass Scotch.

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Listening to: Cats running through the house.
  • Watching: Cats running through the house.
  • Eating: Brussels Sprouts
  • Drinking: Expensive ass Scotch

Conventional wisdom

Journal Entry: Mon Jan 30, 2012, 9:30 AM
Getting what you want is scary.

Having the time and the means to pursue your dreams is daunting.

Pie is yummy.

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Listening to: Beats Antique
  • Watching: A surly, bobtailed cat, stalking my "alley&am
  • Eating: Not pie (damnit)
  • Drinking: Blessed coffee

Vinegar Tom

Journal Entry: Mon Jan 10, 2011, 8:00 PM
If you spent the last 7 years ranting about the rape of our 4th amendment rights, you don't get to demand the rape of our 2nd amendment rights now.
If you do, I will exercise my 1st amendment right to call you a hypocritical douche nozzle.

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Watching: Douche nozzles
  • Drinking: Blessed coffee

Woe is me...or not.

Journal Entry: Tue Dec 28, 2010, 7:40 PM
I can't tell if I'm getting better or just more delusional.

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Watching: House
  • Drinking: Duh

Ouch

Journal Entry: Wed Sep 8, 2010, 12:07 AM
It seems that the reconstructive surgery on my chest has suddenly and dramatically failed.
I'm in agony and neither the vicodin nor the scotch have dented it.
This can't be the future.  
This can't be the quality of my life.

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Drinking: 12 year old Scotch

I stand corrected.

Journal Entry: Mon Aug 30, 2010, 9:21 PM
For years now I have condemned Kingdom of Heaven as an anachronistic piece of shit.
I just watched the Director's cut with fresh eyes....without a literal gloss.
I say, without equivocation, it is one of the greatest epic films ever made.
My apologies to Ridley Scott.

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Watching: Kingdom of Heaven
  • Drinking: Jameson

Krap

Journal Entry: Sun Aug 29, 2010, 9:50 PM
There is absolutely no sense nor profit in being so utterly unhappy.

Frankly, I'm annoyed.

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Listening to: Julie Andrews, of all things.
  • Drinking: blessed coffee.

The End is Nigh

Journal Entry: Fri Aug 20, 2010, 7:56 AM
One of my cats joined Twitter last night.
This is the end of Western culture.

twitter.com/MarleneTyler

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Listening to: Marlene sing.
  • Drinking: blessed coffee.

Ye Gods...

Journal Entry: Wed Aug 4, 2010, 8:47 AM
It's fucking hot!

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Listening to: sizzle.
  • Drinking: gallons of water.

Devious Journal Entry

Journal Entry: Fri Jul 23, 2010, 10:54 PM
How did I get this fucking old?


Fuck.

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Listening to: Whispers from the past
  • Watching: I Claudius
  • Drinking: Jameson

Heroes fall like leaves

Journal Entry: Tue Jul 6, 2010, 7:59 PM
Bob Probert is dead.
He was the toughest fucker on ice.
But apparently, the real world is a more dangerous place to live in than the NHL.
He drank himself to death.
He was 45.

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Drinking: Coffee

Requiem for the typewriter

Journal Entry: Thu Jun 24, 2010, 6:10 PM
I used to write short fiction on a typewriter.  
It sucked.
I used an old Royal manual model.  She was a tough old bitch.  I could have used her to brain zombies if necessary.
Editing was a pain in the scrotum, though.  
Now I'm working on a rambling, goofy novel.  I move whole pages about willy-nilly with little effort and less cursing.

I have a phone that I can use to wirelessly talk to just about anyone in the world.  
It's smaller than the communicator that Jim Kirk used to carry on Star Trek.
My laptop connects anywhere in my house.  Or my friend's houses for that matter.
Or coffee shops or fucking McDonald's if I ever went there.

But this is what fascinates me the most.
I can upload my artwork in a matter of minutes.  Artwork that I edited on my computer.  That's editing work that would have cost me dozens of hours and shitpots of money if I had to do it in the darkroom.
Anyway, I can upload those images and later the same day, people in India, Bahrain, Ireland, Australia and Poland are already viewing and reviewing them.
Meanwhile, I can enjoy, for next to no money, artwork from Germany, England, France, Iceland and Brazil.
Fucking bliss.

I mention this because I have friends who have never used a typewriter.  I know children who have never even seen one.
We've come so far, so fast.

Is it any wonder that I find it obscene that the world still runs on the internal combustion engine?

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Listening to: Icelandic folk music (no shit)
  • Eating: Vicodin
  • Drinking: Coffee

That which does not destroy me, makes me cranky.

Journal Entry: Tue Jun 22, 2010, 6:22 PM
Two years ago I was sick.
Very sick.
Deathbed sick.
I got better.
But the illness took a toll on me.  
I have always had really straight, really healthy looking teeth.  I've been very proud of them my whole life.
The illness wrecked my gums and jawbones.  I came close to losing all of my teeth.
My new dentist has managed to save all of them but one.
So I had oral surgery two weeks ago and I got a pin set in my jaw today.
I'm cranky.
I want coffee and sympathy.
I need to get out with my camera.

But my teeth look great.

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Playing: for sympathy
  • Drinking: coffee

I should move to Denmark

Journal Entry: Fri Jun 18, 2010, 7:55 PM
I don't have coronary arteries anymore.  They have been replaced with a vein from my right leg.
The upside of this is that I'm not dead.
The down side is that veins don't behave like arteries.  For one thing, they don't regulate heat as efficiently.
So, when I go out in the heat, I sweat like I'm in a remake of Cool Hand Luke.  
And then comes the angina.  It's like getting hit in the chest with a hammer.  It's fairly disspiriting.
When I was young I spent all Summer outdoors, running, biking, swimming...hell, I was even a lifeguard for a while.
If I had stayed that active, I probably wouldn't have gotten heart disease so early.
But it was inevitable, really.  I have a funny little family trait that tries to kill all the men in my family in their 40s.  Up until a generation ago it usually suceeded.
It was 94 degrees today and humid.  Summer hasn't even started yet.  
Damn.
Anyway, it's a good excuse to stay in and write.  I have to figure out how to get young Miss Elspeth out ot the hallway I left her in.
And I have to bring Mr. Campbell home.

This Journal Skin was designed by Night-Beast
  • Listening to: Ramsey Lewis, Pink Martini, Dave Brubeck
  • Reading: My own drivel
  • Playing: words
  • Drinking: coffee