Royouten

Well hello everyone. I know it had been awhile since I last made a journal here on dA plus work furviously on being active on this site. I haven't been myself late because of too many deadlines, finals fast approaching and just life in general. I had a lab, two assignments, a test and a 14 page research paper due on the same day. Did I put my best effort in, mostly but I serious know it can be better. And I'm worried about failing and doing awful in college so that things I mostly have to do is study and stop procrastinating. But worse, I haven't found any true motivation to produce art like I used to. I'm behind on 2 commissions and one zine piece, I was told by a convention to stay on a waitlist until the Friday of their con, in which, I said no. I also have to reapply to a convention today and just everything is going in a black spiral for me but I'm staying optmisitc and hopeful.

Other than my personal dilemmas, I never fully address the reasons into why I stopped doing roleplay. I know it was such a big impactful thing in a fandom especially when dA had the chatroom (which I believe should be brought back). So I stopped roleplaying because first it time consuming. I had so much going in my life already and I devoted my time to responding back. I typically never say no (in which I should start doing now) and every reply was almost too immediate and it was boring devoting your time to act like your characters rather than yourself. Two, the people I roleplayed with were too possessive. I would either be threatened to roleplay with them, bombarded with messages say "hello", "can we roleplay", "let's roleplay". Idk if they were doing it to try to be my friend or somethinf but the fact that those people got banned on here a few weeks after I talked with them shows a lot. Three, the implications of roleplay is what got me the most. I seriously up to this day wonder why people still do it but it's their choice to do it. I've heard many people become uncomfortable because the person they roleplay with either incites the character should have sexual intercourse or do something the other party never wanted to partake in. The fact that it is so easy for those to take advantage in roleplay doesn't feel consensual or fair to the other party. Sadly it happens a lot and people are there trying to defend the roleplay as " they are just roleplay the characters. What makes you think they want to actually do it to the person or want to go after 12 or 14 years old". Something like this is why I hate roleplay and the reason why some even shame it. Idk how to remotely feel due to this but I'm going to my a community thread on this. I truly want to hear what people have to say for it.

That's all I have to say and hey, it's December 1st so stay frosty c: