Edited to fix a misspell and a second potential misspell.
Don't know where else to post this so that any of Raven's "friends" that have been bashing me for what we've been going through while we were still together and how I handled it, which, let me tell you, was how I thought was best to handle it given the SEVERITY of the situation and how it could and WOULD affect her and how her mother is, could see it. So I'm posting it here in hopes that they do, and I can try and put an end to something I can no longer stand. Those who haven't bashed me and haven't been a part of that circle to any degree, need not worry about reading this. It isn't directed toward you. It's directed only toward those who have ASSUMED shit about me, bad-mouthed me, called me names and so on WITHOUT knowing the full story of WHY I reacted the ways I did, and WHY me and her are no longer together for the duration of the time she has yet to deal with her mother's controlling nature for her own sake, and the sake of our now temporarily defunct relationship. Let me clear the elephant from the room fast and say, that, UNBEKNOWNST to the care of you people who seem to get your fucking rocks off on bashing me and assuming shit about me, it FUCKING HURT ME to have to end it with her. It WASN'T a walk in the park for me emotionally, as you people who'd love to paint me as a villain would adore a reason to think it was. She was the main thing that gave me a reason to fucking continue life, she was what gave me even a SLIGHT semblance of happiness and made me whole to any degree. All of which vanished as soon as I had to end it with her. Ending it with her has left me nothing but a walking, empty shell trying DESPERATELY to get some kind of filling in the hole that was left by ending it with her. DESPERATELY trying to FEEL SOMETHING, when she was the one that had even ALLOWED me to feel again TO BEGIN WITH, SHE was the reason I was ABLE to feel again to begin with. I'm a SHADOW of my former self after leaving her, but I did it because it HAD to be done, even though neither of us liked it, while she's under her controlling mother's thumb without the courage to fight back and get back her freedom. It seems many don't comprehend or understand this, but a controlling mother is a LIFE DESTROYER. A controlling mother makes everything, EVERYTHING in one's life volatile. Their emotional state, their mental state, their happiness and ability to feel happiness, their relationships, even the more minor things they try to do like JUST FUCKING LIVE HOW THEY WANT TO FUCKING LIVE and DO THE THINGS THEY WANT TO FUCKING DO. And while she doesn't have the courage to stand up to her mother and take the freedom of her life back from her, that's exactly what was happening to our relationship. Let me tell you guys something. There were times where the stress from her mother's controlling nature had us unwantedly at one another's throats, because she'd get at mine unintentionally, then i'd end up back at hers if I was already in a foul mood. Neither of us had wanted it, and if it wasn't for stress from that boiling over against her will, it likely never would've occurred those days, because 99% of the time me and her were in harmony. We hardly EVER fought. We were of the same mind and heart. What she felt or thought, I agreed with almost all the time, and vice-versa, what I felt and thought, she agreed with. You literally COULDN'T find a match better or closer than us. But stress from such a life can destroy and taint, and destroy and taint it did, that harmony we had, time and time again. Not that often, but it did happen. Now, can you tell me that how her mother is doesn't harm and destroy, doesn't tear apart relationships, directly or indirectly? No, you can't. And every time that stress got to her and we ended up at one another's throats, we both felt horrible afterward. It destroyed us both inside to know we had fought with one another, had yelled at one another, had been at one another's throats. Can you tell me that such a thing is good for one's own health, happiness and life, to have such stress cause those kinds of events to one's relationship or ANY OTHER part of their life? No, you cannot tell me it is good. Can you tell me that ANY of that is tolerable, or that it SHOULD be tolerated by either side, hers or mine? No, you cannot. What her mother does is cancerous, destructive and harmful, to both herself, and everything she holds dear, to her entire life. Add to that the fact that her mother DOESN'T EVEN WANT HER ONLINE TALKING TO PEOPLE. Her mother WANTS her stripped away of her ability to speak with 99% of the fucking world, all except only those in the vicinity of where she lives. Her mother WANTS her basically fucking isolated. And when her mother forced her to close down her Facebook and closed down Raven's Discord and Skype herself, that was basically her way of completely fucking isolating her. Let me tell you something. To any of you bashing me, if any of you know Raven only via online right now as I do, because of living elsewhere in the world compared to her, be it elsewhere in the U.S. as I do, across the world in another country, whatever, if her controlling mother had HER way, YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BE ABLE TO TALK TO RAVEN OR BE HER FRIEND, BE THERE FOR HER, OR ANYTHING, AND YOU MAY NOT HAVE EVEN EVER MET RAVEN IF HER MOTHER HAD HER WAY FROM THE START! Just let that sink in fast. Her mother doesn't even want her fucking online at all talking to people. And another thing, she COULDN'T EVEN TELL her mother about us while we were together, for risk of her mother taking everything away and shutting her contact with everyone and everything off or doing something JUST as drastic, because her mother ISN'T too keen on the idea of her being in a relationship with someone online, even if that individual is one of the nicest you'll ever meet and most caring you'll ever meet if you don't cross him or someone he cares about. Even if that person is someone she loved with all of her heart and that loved her back with all of his. Someone who'd fucking LAY DOWN HIS LIFE for her, and would FUCKING DIE for her. Her mother doesn't care about her happiness or anything, that's evidenced by how she can oh so happily try and control and dictate everything her own daughter does. Care and love is something that DOESN'T go hand in hand with a controlling nature, because care and love, DON'T happily and willingly do harm to someone's life by ripping apart things they love and care about, or things that make them happy via making them a ticking timebomb or with a possible threat to directly rip them apart just by finding out when you SHOULD be SUPPORTING your own daughter in her endeavors and her relationships. In her choices. Overbearing and controlling are more in line with pure dictation and malice, in hatred and negativity, than caring and loving, than concern and any even slight form of positivity. And for those who say I tried to ever any any point pressure her into doing anything or about anything, I only acted and spoke with urgency when trying to get her to gather the courage to do something to fix the problems her mother was causing, to fix the problem in her life that WAS and IS her mother, REALIZING just what NOT doing so could and WOULD eventually cause for her throughout her life. I ONLY EVER acted or spoke out of care and love for her best overall and long term interest and wellbeing at heart. Because unbeknownst to those of you who'd happily bash me and make me look like a villain, calling me names, insulting me, and otherwise badmouthing me, those of you who'd assume things about me and why I did something or how I am or anything, I ACTUALLY TRULY FUCKING LOVED HER, and I STILL do.
That is all. Sincere apologies if this entire spheel is an eyesore to anyone, and not sorry if it is to those it's directed toward. I didn't want to have to respond to those I've seen over time bashing me during the time I've read her vent posts, but after seeing someone call me a cunt, I had to step in and make some things clear, and put an explanation out there. I HAD to clear the air. I couldn't sit by anymore and let anyone bash me. Not when I fucking loved her with all of my heart and only ever loved and cared about her more than my own fucking life itself.