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About Deviant Routsubasa30/Male/United States Recent Activity
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A Beer With Richie
"Sometimes, Richie, I just feel like I've lost myself."
He pulled the beer from his lips and turned to me. "What are you talking about, now?"
I grabbed the last bottle of beer from the six pack I brought along. Some sweet lemon beer thing I grabbed cheap off the shelf. I wasn't much of a loud bar guy so when Richie suggested we go outside and relax a bit I naturally preferred the woods with the old stone fire pits some random stoners had long since abandoned. It had a perfect view from on top of the hill of the river and the marina outside of downtown. Certainly not a huge dock, maybe two dozen vessels at best, but for some generally unknown New England town in Connecticut, it was something. The cool breeze even seemed to keep the beer cold, but then again, I wasn't paying much mind.
"Nah, man. Don't just play it off yet." I grabbed for the bottle openner on my keychain. I had won it when we were at the bar last time. No one knew but I saw him mouth the answer from the crowd at trivia
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Behind the Bar
I could feel my stomach turning with the tremulous whirling of emotions. My neck wass sore from trying to work it all out in my head. I just sat there behind the bar trying to bleed the distractions from my imagination. The sickening sight of my memories pervaded my brain.
I never said I was worthy of the intentions I had. I never said I was worth the effort. But I suppose we all delude ourselves into think at times that we are worth more than we really are. No one wants to inherit a wreck for hopes of fixing them and no one wants to live in the filth of the other's fucked up psyche. No one deserves that for themselves. That's why I kept away from it all. Kept people at that distance.
"Don't shit where you eat," that's my bosses motto. When I worked behind his bar and listened to his rants, rants a little too long even for his mid-forty year life, I couldn't help absorbing it. Right, wrong, neither really mattered. The rant was still real to him and I can't say I was or am in a positio
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Eagle Shot
I had a hassle sighting in the revolver. Adjustable sights always annoyed me. I couldn't see why a manufacturer couldn't just sight in a firearm and people leave it at that. Maybe it was a better idea to stop buying used firearms. It was, however, a Ruger Security Six revolver. It was a little piece of history and, while never earning the company much of a profit if any, it was a rugged beast of a gun that was a straight shooter. My front sight was bent but I adjusted for it. I could still hit a quarter at combat distance.
Then again, I used the term "combat distance" so I didn't have to explain that I kept my handgun range at about thirty to fifty feet. Still, it felt good to put rounds in a consistent group. It was something I was going to need this time. This wasn't just a range session to me anymore. This wasn't like when I went out with Kenneth to shoot the shit about this, that or the other thing as we killed time and honed our skills. This session was personal. It meant somethin
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Out With A Bang by Routsubasa Out With A Bang :iconroutsubasa:Routsubasa 1 3
If You Had Asked Me
It's been years since I've been here
On the top of this hill overlooking the town.
I never really guessed that I'd leave this town.
If you had asked me back then I'd have called you crazy.
But we moved, when I was young,
Weekend visits and family outings are all I had left of it.
The place certainly changed, but not in the ways that mattered.
Still the same roads, albeit some smoother.
I'm sure my car thanks it for the service.
I'd never guessed that the pothole driving up this road would ever be filled.
You're the same as ever, though.
Some people never change.
Granted, it's not like you could even if you wanted to.
We'd have liked to see you ever so often, but we understand.
We accept.
It's been nearly two dozen years since it all began.
I never expected such a downward spiral
But who doesn't love a good slide?
I suppose anything can have a bright side.
Our uncle was always my hero after Grandpa died.
He loved his kids, had a job he enjoyed
And always made time for friends and family
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...The fuck you doin'?
People aren't intelligent. Anyone who thinks that the masses are full of intelligent human beings simply hasn't gone outside and opened their eyes. It confounds me when people come up to me with rose-tinted glasses over their eyes telling me that I should be nicer and not so critical of "the little things." The little things. These are the things I SHOULD get upset and critical about. I should be critical BECAUSE they are little and should, thusly, be so very EASY to avoid!
Back when I had patience and a tolerance for ignorance I used to say, "Perhaps I just expect too much from people." But how little can you really expect? Shouldn't some semblance of common sense be somewhat reasonable? Why is it not in the realm of possibility that using our heads and thinking critically might actually do some good in the world, even if as simply as deciding maybe to tap the brakes just a bit before making that turn, in turn avoiding side-swiping my mirror as I get ready for work. It's hard enough n
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I'm not sure if it's depressing or just pathetic. Not me, I mean. Certainly not me. I'm long past depressed. I'm not even sad about it all anymore. After more than two decades in this garbage heap or air and filth I'm long passed feeling sorry for myself or being so blue and down in the damned dumps about it all. I'm not even mad. Well, maybe I'm pretty mad now. Yeah, I might just be mad. Because it's a pretty bleak and disappointing day when I can honestly say that not one of you ever really mattered.
Oh, I'm sorry, is that not something you expected to hear? Are you just a tad confused? Surely he couldn't be talking about me, you must be thinking to yourself quietly or perhaps even mumbling it out loud for some kind of dramatic emphasis, as if saying it with real audible words somehow makes your thought exist in a greater tangible form because you can physically hear it. Don't bother lying to yourself. Yes, I'm probably talking to you just as much as the rest of the miserable maggots
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Let This Be
It was a beautiful night. Well, by my standards it was quite a beautiful night. The sky was cloudy and gloomy, at least in everyone else's eyes. There was a light mist, a fog you could only feel in this cool night air. It was pristine. The clouds made it so easy to see compared to normal. The light from the city all around the park lit the clouds and it all reflected back down to Earth to illuminate better than any full moon could. It was so soft and mellow an air. I couldn't help wanting to take it all in staring up from the park bench.
My head was left limp and rolled back to stare straight up into the clouds. It was so smoky. Almost apocalyptic. Maybe that's why I liked it so much. The thought of the end of the world was ever prevalent in my mind. I knew it was coming, someday if not soon. It was bound to come. All that begins must still end in our strange, twisted little world. Doomed with the urge to strive for the greatness of the stars and to become all that we an be but usher i
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Shallow Breaths
My teapot isn't nearly full enough anymore. The tea is barely warm anymore. A shame, really. It was one of my favorite blends. A nice Earl Grey with some red bush rooibos tea mixed in. It was a wondrous little mix I had, at least for my tastes. Bold with an edge of spice to it. For sure another new recipe worth remembering. It cleared my sinuses at least, if nothing else.
My cough was bringing the familiar taste I hated. Blood usually enticed me quite a bit. It usually lifted my spirits in a weird way. I suppose I was never that normal. I can't help chuckling at the thought that perhaps I was just as much the monster as me ex-girlfriends said I was.
Monster. God, I heard that word so many times in the past five years. What a miserable fate that was. It was as if I fell into a pit and had no idea I was even falling. Similar to the mental image of walking along a road, lost but eager to explore where it goes. That is, of course, until you find yourself in a bad part of town. Yeah, that's
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Up up and away by Routsubasa Up up and away :iconroutsubasa:Routsubasa 3 0 Craig holding Kali by Routsubasa Craig holding Kali :iconroutsubasa:Routsubasa 0 3 Kali's neck by Routsubasa Kali's neck :iconroutsubasa:Routsubasa 4 2
Bang Bang Bang Bang
"Owen, you're shooting kinda wide. Tighten up your grip again. I think you're slacking your wrist." Kenneth was trying to be loud enough to cut through the waves of gunshots going off alongside us and the protective gear covering my ears. The range was one of those places I didn't mind him giving me blatant critiques. I still don't get how he can be so loud yet not a hint of any real "yelling" to is voice. I suppose I am just so used to my family and our form of yelling that I can only say that he was talking loudly. It always made me chuckle a bit. Clearly he didn;t grow up in my Italianized home life.
I tightened my grip. He was right at least. My grip was slipping as fatigue set in. I was clearly not as in shape for this as he was. I gotta hand it to him, he was a decent shot with that Beretta. My Bersa was no slouch though. Forty-three rounds of nine millimeter in now and I can see my groups rather tight, at least for a beginner. they were all in the chest at fifteen yards or so, r
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I wasn't always like this, you know. There was a time when I'm sure I was happy just for the sake of being happy. It's kind of hard to imagine that right now, what with me heaving my guts into the gutters and all that fine shit. But really, there was a good time somewhere in those memories. I smiled before. It wasn't so bad sometimes. Sometimes, it must have been good, right? Otherwise I couldn't have much to compare this to so I could fully understand the depth of how bad this sucked right now. It's just logical that way, I'm sure of it.
My gut seems to be feeling lighter now, especially considering the globs of what used to be whatever i ate earlier. I don't even remember what I ate to create this mess. I can barely stand. Thankfully this tree here is fine and well enough to prop myself up with one arm. My jacket is remarkably clean considering what's pouring out of me right now. I'm dripping with sweat in those cold winter night. The snow is stained by the tainted fluid of my churni
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It's the day after Christmas.
Just another year gone by.
With family and friends
Both holding my head high for me
Even when I couldn't find the heart.
I got everything I wanted the day before.
Almost everything, I suppose.
In the end, without you,
I ended that night
With no more than the night before.
I asked God that Christmas Eve
To show me a sign.
To give me a dream.
I wanted to see your face.
I wanted to know you were real.
And dream I did.
I don't know if she was you.
I don't know if you are her.
I can't be sure of anything.
But I can say I was glad.
I had at least some,
Just some,
Of my prayer answered that night.
I asked to see you
And for once I saw a face.
Maybe it wasn't your face
But the feel of you
With my arm around your shoulder,
The feel of that warm sun on our faces,
I saw our life and souls, at least.
I saw happiness.
I can't forget that.
I can't just explain that away.
I felt it in my soul,
Deep inside my dormant heart.
I asked to see you
And while I can't be sure
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That Strange Little Dream
"Holy crap, man! I didn't think you'd make it here once that storm set it! snow and thunder, baby! It's good to be in New England." We had been hoping for snow since October and here it was, the day after Christmas when people are tucked away at home under blankets and the aroma of hot chocolate, that winter was kind enough to wait for before burying us all. No worries of missed work the next day or schoolwork children didn't do. Nope, just a few die-hard folk like me determined to keep the usual rituals with friends.
Tonight was another movie night at Ashley's. I wasn't about to miss it because of a damn storm. I stepped into her small two bedroom apartment and turned to my left to see her son playing with all the toys he had gotten from family for Christmas. He turned to see who had just come through the front door and jumped to his feet when he saw me.
"Owen!!!" He ran over, like the tank of a child he was, and rammed into my lower body. For a five year old he was already up to my b
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Fanart Elizabeth Bioshock by Banzchan Fanart Elizabeth Bioshock :iconbanzchan:Banzchan 1,092 39 Girl and Weapon - Sniper by Sekigan Girl and Weapon - Sniper :iconsekigan:Sekigan 2,634 298 Goal? by Mikeinel Goal? :iconmikeinel:Mikeinel 8,244 300 Syfy Sharks - Ghost Shark / Sharktopus by Slugbox Syfy Sharks - Ghost Shark / Sharktopus :iconslugbox:Slugbox 2,840 214
USB-tan :iconmikeinel:Mikeinel 18,763 2,136
Yuuko and The Nurse: Old Photo by Mikeinel Yuuko and The Nurse: Old Photo :iconmikeinel:Mikeinel 2,315 42 Liberate by yuumei Liberate :iconyuumei:yuumei 32,790 1,097 doodle Tesa by Slugbox doodle Tesa :iconslugbox:Slugbox 2,248 84 CSI My-A-nimal Crossing by Garabatoz CSI My-A-nimal Crossing :icongarabatoz:Garabatoz 209 33 Sunset Moth Aqua by kaninnvven Sunset Moth Aqua :iconkaninnvven:kaninnvven 983 13 Sunset Moth by kaninnvven Sunset Moth :iconkaninnvven:kaninnvven 1,945 26 Drawn with Me: To Sing by Mikeinel Drawn with Me: To Sing :iconmikeinel:Mikeinel 6,190 238 Re-Imagine by yuumei Re-Imagine :iconyuumei:yuumei 66,031 3,306 Spider Spider by MediaViolence Spider Spider :iconmediaviolence:MediaViolence 534 42 Winner Commission: Lumen by Mikeinel Winner Commission: Lumen :iconmikeinel:Mikeinel 3,406 50 Scarlet Blade Fanart: Sentinel Sketch by ZeroJigoku
Mature content
Scarlet Blade Fanart: Sentinel Sketch :iconzerojigoku:ZeroJigoku 18 0


I recently wrote two pieces that are currently still sitting on my tablet. I'd post them but I'm lazy and stuck at work. Maybe I'll post them tonight.

It's strange being back on DA. I come back every few days when I power on my computer and see my homepage open up to DA and at least 100+ messages from people I probably don't even pay attention to anymore. I've been so distracted by life and bills and new jobs. I've probably been through four since I last posted but at least I have a full time one now that's indoors. Manual labor won't be a choice forever and as much as I love bartending I couldn't rely on it. Maybe in the future I can open my own since I ran a pretty tight ship at mine but for now I need steady work to pay for my new corolla. Don't judge, corollas are awesome. 

I finally got time to go shooting at least and I got to rock the range with my Walther P99. It easily outdoes my Rock Island Armory 1911. Next trip should be with the P99 again and my 357 Ruger Security Six. It's nice to know that while my form was a little rusty and I had to change to an isosceles stance (I always shot Weaver before) for a while, I could still tear up targets even when I was shooting fast. My natural pace is rather quick and for how fast I shoot I think I did awesome. Transitioning targets was not as smooth but the P99 still outperformed my 1911. In 40S&W I would trust it in another bowling pin competition and to defend myself. I still think the three inch diameter dots were a long shot at best but with about a 66% accuracy average on them with the P99 I think I did pretty well for a guy who's spent months off the trigger. Sure, I carried every day but I just hadn't had time or money to really go shooting like I wanted to. Hopefully, that can change in the near future.

My range actually has challenge coins made just for their range too and I figure with the fact I always want to go with people I would buy them for my shooting partner whenever I bring someone new to be like a momento of when they first went shooting. It had cool people there running it who were knowledgeable and not the cliche hick or paranoid nut. I was there having fun with them and I've never had an asshole show up there yet. It's the perfect place to show people what the shooting community is really like, just a bunch of cool mellow folk who enjoy shooting sports. I figure that's worth a coin, even at $7.00 a pop. Plus, it makes for a fun bar game. Or at Starbucks, if that's more your thing.
  • Listening to: Calling From Another Phone - Murali Coryell
  • Reading: Reviews on the phones I have in stock.
  • Watching: Bar Rescue
  • Playing: on my phone
  • Eating: Whatever I have available
  • Drinking: Gin and Ginger or Jack Honey Highball


United States
A writer, an artist and an intellectual all came together and had a threesome in my brain. The resulting miasma formed most of what makes me me. Nothing special to most but simply surreal to those who scratch the surface. Ain't life funny like that?

Current Residence: Norwich, CT
Favourite genre of music: Probably Indie
Favourite style of art: Literature
Operating System: W7
MP3 player of choice: Iphone 3g


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ZeroJigoku Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Thank you for the fav <3
Routsubasa Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013
thanks for something worth favoriting
CyanideKandies Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist
Routsubasa Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
Good lord, what a thank you...o.o You're welcome
CyanideKandies Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013  Hobbyist
it wasnt much right? Im not good at expressing myself, however I do thank you for taking your time to see my gallery and liking some of my stuff, your bass is beautiful :3 From one bass player to another thanks!
Routsubasa Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013
haha yeah. From one bassist to another, you're welcome.
(1 Reply)
ShesJustHiding Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012
Thanks for the fave!
Routsubasa Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
Always. You wrote a good one and it was worth faving
ShesJustHiding Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
:bounce: :blush:
Thank you so much <3
DarkAngelWithWings Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Thanks for the watch :)
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