In case you missed it, check out Mindless-Corporation
's equally epic finalized round! --> fav.me/d7an7pp
It's a shame it couldn't quite make it, but definitely check it out now that it's up in all it's wonder!
[If you would like your crits removed please let us know and we will take them down and note them to you]
All the build up is great and really feels like things are coming to the boiling point. The part that didn't jive with me was how easily Hoss and Carter were taken out of the mix. Even if Hoss were occupied off screen, Carter is still telekinetic and experienced alone. Just seems like it was way too easy. I can see Dev being distraught enough after losing Viggo (plus the prodding of his brother) to flip the proverbial table and have at the world. The fight itself is pretty epic. Very fast paced and exciting and I love the way the light and color accentuate everything. The end of the fight I think work for Dev, he had his big catharsis and now he's done. When the big scheme is revealed it feels a little MacGuffin-y but I do like that it was a throw back to the audition. Dev feeling left out and the 4th wall breaking comment from Clint was great. It got to be a little much with John's woe at his easily foiled plan, a few too many successive nods and winks to the audience. I do think the ending wrapped things up well for everyone, including Dev, but Carter popping back in wasn't so much cute as it was reminding me of the depth of that plot hole. But the glorious return of RRR was kind of fantastic, it's a nice feel good kind of ending and again, a nod to the audition which I did enjoy. I think if something like that master key coin existed I would have rather its' existence or purpose be hinted at a little more than with a single line in the audition. For something so powerful and important it comes a touch out of nowhere. That and the hasty "because the plot says so" exit of Carter and Hoss were my main issues. I don't feel like turning to the camera and acknowledging that it was a plot hole really sufficed to get me to ignore that it was indeed a plot hole. But overall I enjoyed the round and I really liked how complete the characters felt. Like they've gone through all these trials and have reached the character development equivalent of nirvana. Good job.
Victor and Dev's continuing relationship is amusing as always. All the emotions come through well and Dev seems genuinely upset about his loss. The cheering up by going shopping is cute but it starts to meander a bit. I like that Dev tried to make amends more or less with Deer and the Captain, its' evocative of some sort of 12 step program that Viggo's death was his "moment of clarity" for. The extreme face close ups kind of wear me out after a while. The lines are heavy and hurried so the closer a face is to the "camera" the harder it is to read the forms. Plus it does the setting no favors as who knows where they are when there's not even room for a background. The scene change to Miguel and Cornelius is pretty abrupt, I know staring down the maw of Dev was meant to be a cliff hanger but it could have had a little smoother transition. I do like that you took the time to weave the second wind save into the story, it's interesting to think about what Dev's brother could have gotten up to in RC. The build up to Dev being motivated to fight makes the actual battle much more interesting, it just feels like it took a long time to get there. A little of the wandering around could have maybe been cut or abbreviated early on. But it is pretty hilarious that the mighty Dev was mistaken for being a cartoon villain right after his big holier than thou pep talk from his brother. Dev's reactions to the mentioning of Viggo always seem very realistic and you really feel for the poor guy. The fight is cool from what I can see, but again, I feel like it suffers from too many up close shots. The sudden turn when Clint gets impaled is jarring, but not necessarily in a bad way. I also think the shedding of the clothes and reminders of Viggo serve as fine symbolism for his gruesome return to form. Afterward, the tone shifts don't serve the story as well and end up giving me some whiplash. One minute it's all hijinks then it gets really serious really fast, to the point where I have to pause a minute to figure out if I should still be in "this is funny" mode. Once all that dies down, I really liked how it ended. Dev asking to go back, but still not quite making it far enough for his perfect ending. Then fixing what would be fixed before splitting--makes the earlier meandering a bit more understandable. It's bitter sweet and I actually teared up a little at the last page. It was a bit of a rough ride, but man, did it cap off on a good note. Well done.