I'm going to be making a list of how to get each of badges. It might take a while, but here's a start.
Llamas: Get other dA members to go to your profile page, then click "Give" in the top right corner, then "Give Llama." For the most part, when you give someone a llama, they will give you one back.
Tinfoil Hat Badge: Click here: http://news.deviantart.com/article/75898/ . Then click "Pre-Order Now." The badge should be on your profile.
Blind to Pageviews: On your profile go to "Edit Settings." Then go to "Browsing." Then unclick the box that says, "See Pageviews." You have to keep the box unclicked to keep the badge on your profile.
Birthday Shenanigans: Buy a dA birthday shirt: http://deviantwear.deviantart.com/art/Birthday-Gold-132141544 or participate in a deviantart 9th birthday contest: http://moonbeam13.deviantart.com/journal/26401579/ .
Get Spooky With It: Enter the Draw Fella in a Costume Contest.
Charitable Deviant: Gift a subscription to another deviant.