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Kingdumb hearts, 14 days,5 min



Note: No big spoilers yet for those who want to play the game. Tough big spoilers in part 2, 3 and 4 :

part 2: [link]
Part 3: [link]
Part 4: [link]

First a big thanks to the voice actors, who had to put up with my rush to get this done before my vacation ended, returning from previous Kingdumb Hearts installments:
:icondcleadboot: as Roxas
:iconsonicgodzillafan: as Axel/ Goofy
:iconluke-the-f0x: as Xemnas
:iconnightdragon: as Queen of hearts
and new to the series
:iconelessthehedgecat: as Larxene
:iconmelodic-spirit: as Xion
:iconumsauthorlava: as Luxord and Marluxia
:iconluxiotheechidna: as Xigbar and Cloud
:iconjakearmitage01: as Lexagus, Xaldin and Squall
:iconthedarkmage: as Vexen
:iconcopycat-the-unknown: as Saix
And finally :iconbabclayman: as Demyx.
And also me, as Sora and Donald, yay.

Ack, such a big list of actors, and it's not counting for the actors and characters that have yet to appear..

There we go, the first real Kingdumb hearts flash in a few years. Part 1 out of 3, it's quite bigger then usual because unlike the previous kingdom hearts games, I could actually understand what was going on most of the time for a change.

So yeah, the game's pretty good. Sure, I'm annoyed about 70% of the locations of the games are ripped straight out of the previous games, but other then that, it's okay.
And the plot is dead most of the time, but I wouldn't want to call "Sora's aimlessly walking from one planet to the next, Sora's walking aimlessly trough a castle and Sora's walking aimlessly to planets again" plotlines from the previous games much better either.

For the rest, it's classical Square Enix story;

Setup that involves cloning, artificially created people and characters completely based on abstract concepts? Check.
Main characters have lost their memories of their dark, tragic past? Double check.
Many, many scenes of the villain having a long cryptic monologue that makes no sense, to cover up for the fact he doesn't do a damn thing during the entire game? Check.
Major plot issues are caused, or are resolved by suicide? Double check.

Hmm, but why do they keep calling the things they eat at the rooftop icecream? Icecream is the stuff you scoop up right, actual creamish stuff? Aren't those things they eat more those frozen popsicle thingies? Ah well.

I love at the start of the game, they list every elemental power each organisation XIII member has, and Xemnas his power is "nothing". I know nothing is an actual power in the game, but it would be more funny if the guy's actually bragging about the fact that he's useless. "I can do NOTHING! Ha!"

So we return to Wonderland, with it's cards of hearts, and out of all organisation XIII members they could choose from, they make Luxord the main sidekick for that world. Yet they fail to make him even slightly interested in the cards? What a missed chance. Fortunatly, that's where I come in.

Also, the organisation seems terribly passive about 5 of their members dying in Kingdom hearts chain of memories.
Sure, they don't have a heart, so don't feel bad, but even so, there's a guy killing strong enough to kill their members, and their vital mission was a failure. You'd think there'd be more of a reaction then "haha, half of our team is now dead, what a couple of dumbasses!"

In case you're wondering why Micheal Jackson wears his smooth criminal outfit while doing the Thriller, it's my own little unfunny injoke. But every single time someone draws a pic of Micheal, tehy always say Thriller is the best and totally super good awesome song he made, yet they always draw him smooth criminal style. Weird.
As for me, Smooth criminal is my favorite, plus the gangster outfit is still something I occasionaly like to wear myself, yay. In fact this outfit is the first time I ever dressed up like something, when I playbacked "Bad" on my grandma's 50th birthday party when I was 5 or so.

Well, I won't say much about the main plot yet, this is only the first act yet, so it's mostly setup and endless "gee, the things I just said would be very ironic and tragic if I remember it later during the unavoideble tragic, bitter and mostly anti-climactic ending." dialogues on the station rooftop.

Ack, my last joke didn't work well.. Ah well. In the beginning of the game, Xion's appearence chances drasticly in every shot. Altough there IS a plotrelated reason for in the end.. Right, well that's all for part 1, next one's over a month.. or later.. I'm pretty busy sadly.

Kingdom hearts by Square Enix and Disney n stuff.
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InfraredMoth's avatar
It was pretty awesome that you chose to go all dramatic in the beginning.  The cinematic riff and the "You seek answers, I can give you PURPOSE!" That made the ensuing silliness all the more funny when it came a minute later, and from there you never let up!Thumbs Up