Jewel Fighter Thyme 2012

This is definitely an improvement over your linked original. There's a much greater sense of form generated from overlap and an actual sense of having a floor plane. The pose is dynamic, if not quite original (one of the things I find can shake up a often-seen pose is to change up the 'camera' angle).

On the other side of the coin, however, the biggest negative is that the limbs all feel very balloon-like, as if they were self-contained object. There is no organic muscular flow to this organic human subject. There are examples of this in many places, but the easiest one to draw your attention to would be her left (forward facing) leg. The curves defining the inside and outside thigh curve and smash together at the same point. In reality, the curve forming the outside of the calf "hooks" into the curve forming the inside knee, which in turn "hooks" into the outside calf before sweeping into the foot.

What I mean to say by "hook" is that these curves offset from one another, which creates natural, organic rhythm in ways that a curve on one side is not symmetrical to a curve on the opposite side of the form. As it appears now, it looks like the limbs were constructed like one constructs snowmen, or an ice cream cone, placing one objects' mass on top of the one below it, and the form quickly becomes static and less energetic, as a result.

The only other major critique I have is that for being in such a dynamic activity, she still seems to be standing remarkably straight up and down. When the body moves, it's different parts move in different directions to counterbalance and redistribute weight to be able to keep from falling over. Though her hammer is drawn to massive size, it 'feels' almost weightless to the viewer, because it's not causing her body to react at all as if she's carrying or doing anything difficult.

I suppose one could argue that she's just that strong that it may feel weightless to her, but from a strict visual interpretation, it sucks a lot of the dynamism out of the piece.

The truest way to see what that would really feel like (and know what it is you need to be able to translate to paper) is to find an ax or a sledgehammer and a bit of space, and hold it over your head the way she is and feel the forces in your own body. In lieu of that, do your best to find a natural rhythm of the pose as mentioned above, being mindful of the connectedness of the human form and the feeling of weight and gravity acting on it, and of course, how the body will want to balance itself.

Hope all of this helps.