I am a Dirty Dog

4 min read
rocketllama's avatar
By rocketllama
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Some times I wish I had a proper fetish. A real, genuine proper fetish, something that would disgust people. I don't think I really have one, I mean, asian girls, foreign girls in general, teenage girls, red heads yeah, (green eyed redhead s, the preferred consort of the Devil) but those are preferences, not a real "stick a buttplug in my urethra and smack my nuts with a flyswatter" fetish. It's weird, I mean, I'm a filthy sex pervert, aren't I? I mean, historically I fuck around with little rhyme or reason, without much in the way of scruples, I mean it's kind of hard to really nail a 16 year old girl if you've got much in the way of scruples, I'm no good at monogamy, hell I'm more or less polyamorous, I'm a dirty dog, a dirty shameless dog, but I don't have any proper fetish!

Public sex doesn't do anything for me, orgies are more trouble than they're worth and they spill into the living room while I'm trying to watch TV. You know, the point of an orgy where the main girl is the girl you and your rival have both been pooning for months becomes highly diminished, and eventually just annoying. Threesomes are ok, as long as you don't mind the generally weird feeling after as you all lie around in bed and try to act like you are all happy with the situation, though there is a certain dastardly fun in lying next to a girl you know wasn't into it and only realized the extent of her regrets afterwards, but is too nice to actually say anything. Spite and sex go surprisingly well together, come to think of it, I've had quite a lot of sex out of spite, not anger, spite.

You know what's magical? Having a girlfriend who feels like you need to fuck her, like it's what's keeping you around, and she's really not into it, actually probably doesn't enjoy it, but insists you fuck her, so you do it out of spite? That is sweet, sweet sex, I kind of miss that sort of terrible spite sex, you can really go to town on a girl who thinks that her twat is the only thing keeping you around, especially if the only reason you're still with her is because her more attractive friend doesn't put out as regularly...

Not that I've ever done that, that's a composite of several things I've done, kind of, I mean, the part about her friend was a composite. I have had plenty of good spite sex.

Maybe spite is my fetish? Fucking someone who isn't really into it but has some weird compulsion to do it. Daddy didn't fuck that one quite enough. Incidentally, that is probably the single worst sentence ever, but I didn't come up with it, Marina did, so blame her, I think it's terrible...y...funny....

But I like normal sex too! I've always wanted to get into some bondage and shit, but I don't really know what to do, and most girls who get with me have low-self-esteem and aren't especially....feisty like that, though it does lend itself to the spite sex, it lacks in the part where I get tied to a bed, blindfolded and knocked around by a knockout crazy bitch in rubber. Maybe I should hire a dominatrix? But I don't have that kind of money!

A green-eyed redhead 16 year old girl from another country who is tying me up, knocking me around and savagely riding me while pumping up the inflatable buttplug in my ass, she's not really into it but she thinks it's the best way to keep me around? I think that might do the trick....

So this has all been rather heinous, but I felt it warranted saying. Good night!
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