I think I have to turn my art world a little on its head and re-evaluate my priorities. Hahaha oh no!
I am going to keep plugging away at Bringing Down The Sky, somewhere in the background I will keep writing notes on Beyond the Sun. I've worked out a way to adapt Cass (her character rather than her appearance) into it, which is exciting. And I am getting more ideas of the world, and more courage to not fixate on making the whole thing make sense.
I have one private commission left. It may perhaps be my last. This is a bit sad, I've had a lot of fun, and learned so much, and grown even more as I have worked with other people to bring out their ideas.
I am trying to get into a PhD. If I can, much of my faffing about time in art and games will be redirected to rockets, spacecraft, atmospheres and modelling. It feels a little like losing my childhood that I have clung to. My escapism. A community into which I delved and dug and made a little place.
A reframe of this is so:
Space technology, space ships, the future of humanity, the worlds beyond our own have been in my dreams since I could remember. And this is chasing my deepest dreams.
But it is very scary. I feel like I am sleep walking that this is not real, and I will wake up. Or that it is a nightmare and the dark turn is just around the corner. Or that people will notice that I really don't know what I am doing. It is very scary to chase a dream.
You cannot be the 1% who succeed if you don't try.