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God Damn You, Cat
By Rob S. Rice

Now you and I go back for years
And I made sure you knew
That, Cat, I never would or could
Take any crud from you.
So blast you, feline, just obey, and don't go asking why.
Stop coughing on your side like that!
God damn you, Cat, don't die!

When I think of the stunts you've pulled--
I can't recall them all--
Like when you left that toilet paper
Shredded down the hall.
I gave you quite a talking to, and don't you dare defy
Me when I warn you here and now
God damn you, Cat, don't die!

Now, I'm not kidding this time, Cat,
Don't lie there, breathing hard.
I've cleaned out your dang litter box
And let you have my yard.
I'm serious and mean it, Cat, the fur's about to fly
If you don't quit that wheezing now!
God damn you, Cat, don't die!

I've brushed the fur out of your coat,
I've never fed you slop.
You've done so little work for me--
You think it's fair to stop?
Just sit upon my chest and purr, or lie along my thigh.
Now listen Cat, I'm telling you!
God damn you, Cat, don't die!

Get up and run around again!
It's what you used to do!
It's not even a down payment
On all I've done for you.
Oh dang it, Cat, get on your feet!  Don't stagger when you try!
You don't do what I tell you to.
God damn you, Cat, don't die!

He's not much of a cat, it's true.
He won't do what I tell him to.
And now he's up and died on me.
Oh God! I'll miss the S-O-B!
A grown man, feeling that wretched over a cat that wasn't even his... 
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Submitted on
October 26, 2013
Mature Content