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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist Lise Dahl LewalskiDenmark Recent Activity
Deviant for 13 Years
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Totum Dependeat 004 by ripper24
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Totum Dependeat 004 :iconripper24:ripper24 2 2
Warcraft humour... by ripper24 Warcraft humour... :iconripper24:ripper24 6 0 Friendship: Page Seven by ripper24 Friendship: Page Seven :iconripper24:ripper24 0 0 Friendship: Page Six by ripper24 Friendship: Page Six :iconripper24:ripper24 0 0 Friendship: Page Five by ripper24 Friendship: Page Five :iconripper24:ripper24 1 0 Friendship: Page Four by ripper24 Friendship: Page Four :iconripper24:ripper24 0 0 Friendshp: Page Three by ripper24 Friendshp: Page Three :iconripper24:ripper24 0 0 Freindship: Page 2 by ripper24 Freindship: Page 2 :iconripper24:ripper24 0 0 Friendship: Page 1 by ripper24 Friendship: Page 1 :iconripper24:ripper24 0 0 Friendship: Front page by ripper24 Friendship: Front page :iconripper24:ripper24 0 0 totum dependeat - yeah really by ripper24 totum dependeat - yeah really :iconripper24:ripper24 0 2 totum dependeat - Shocker by ripper24 totum dependeat - Shocker :iconripper24:ripper24 1 3 totum dependeat - Insomnia by ripper24 totum dependeat - Insomnia :iconripper24:ripper24 0 2 totum dependeat by ripper24 totum dependeat :iconripper24:ripper24 0 3 For Pilar-Sama by ripper24
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As You Will Never See Them by ripper24 As You Will Never See Them :iconripper24:ripper24 1 5


The Stairs by tohdraws The Stairs :icontohdraws:tohdraws 4,660 389 Halloween 2015: Shuna Sassi by mooncalfe Halloween 2015: Shuna Sassi :iconmooncalfe:mooncalfe 414 42 more... by nami64
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more... :iconnami64:nami64 2,294 147
21st Century Tank Girl by blitzcadet 21st Century Tank Girl :iconblitzcadet:blitzcadet 1,895 41 Epic Battle DA2 SPOILZ by RamenWarrior Epic Battle DA2 SPOILZ :iconramenwarrior:RamenWarrior 369 131 Cuddle up by lily-fox Cuddle up :iconlily-fox:lily-fox 1,294 175 Damn it, foiling again by RedSilverArtist Damn it, foiling again :iconredsilverartist:RedSilverArtist 207 57 Naughty Gifts, Angry Sons by EdoTastic Naughty Gifts, Angry Sons :iconedotastic:EdoTastic 4,726 398 So close your damn blinds! by Ofelan
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So close your damn blinds! :iconofelan:Ofelan 12 3
11.14.12 - FANART by Wazzup1721 11.14.12 - FANART :iconwazzup1721:Wazzup1721 54 16 Your heart's desire by humon Your heart's desire :iconhumon:humon 6,885 637 Deceiver Exarch by IzzyMedrano Deceiver Exarch :iconizzymedrano:IzzyMedrano 933 30 Atreyu by IzzyMedrano Atreyu :iconizzymedrano:IzzyMedrano 797 47 Strip Poker by genevievedee Strip Poker :icongenevievedee:genevievedee 246 76 lovers by paulobarrios
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lovers :iconpaulobarrios:paulobarrios 966 62
Jake, Finn and Marceline by massgrfx Jake, Finn and Marceline :iconmassgrfx:massgrfx 439 31


Devious Journal Entry

Tue Oct 4, 2011, 12:19 AM
Totally random introduction, because starting these entries are always the hardest part. Now with that out of the way, onto the actual entry:

January 6th. my body and other accessories finally gave up and I experienced that dreadful, but all to common feeling of collapsing onto the couch and cried until my eyes hurt. My husband put his foot down and demanded action be taken, so I called in sick the next day and spent the rest of the day coming to terms with the fact, that I had stress.

Wordy, huh'?

I always saw stress as a bad excuse for people, who should another job, better suited for their delicate, pansy ass mentalities. Turns out, stress usually only affects people, who have very strong mentalities: They only spread themselves out too thin and end up having breakdowns. Which I did. And I tried to do the right thing: I made doctor's appointments, found a psychiatrist, did pills. I even had meetings with my managers, so I could come back to work on reduced hours. All I needed was a final schedule from them.

I got a written termination by mail instead. Cue depression.

Funny how your entire self-esteem can be based on how well you think other people think about you. And funny how it takes hitting rock bottom, before you admit that you need help.

9 months later, and with the help of my husband, my doctor's apprentice, my psychiatrist, the best self help-guy in the world and a caseworker, who went above and beyond for me, I now feel better that I ever have. As anyone with depression knows, I will never be completely 'well', but I now have the mentality and tools to keep myself from falling into that hole again. I'm still between jobs, but I don't care for the moment. I'm happy, my husband is happy and my kid is happy.

I never used to have the self-esteem to be a part of groups like DeviantArt, other than a creepy-stalker type, who sits in the corner and watches. Now I feel comfortable enough to admit, that I actually like being the creepy-stalker type X-)

I can now wonder why I ever acted like a confident woman, when in reality I was just a lonely little girl who desperately needed attention. From anyone. It's so wonderful to finally be able to actually feel what I've been pretending to feel for all those years.

I recently turned 31, and it made me realize that I am now too old to have to pretend that I'm anything I'm not. I don't have to like a certain band in order to keep my 'nerd-cred'. I don't have to look a certain way to be sufficiently geeky. Hell, I don't even have to be polite, when I really, really don't agree with someone!

I weigh over 200 lbs, but my husband and I have the best sex in the world. I like Metallica, Eminem and Disturbed, but I also have Doris Day, Bruno Mars and classical music on my Ipod. My fantasy men are mostly burly and muscular, but I'm married to a semi-husky hunk who is the love of my life. And I think Adam Lambert is a very pretty man. Oh, and even though I don't like his music, I think people should get of Justin Biebers case, 'cause he's actually pretty popular with some people!

So don't mind me sitting in the corner, smiling at all you young folk: I'm just quietly contemplating old age and how to keep you of my lawn :)

  • Listening to: Apollo 440 - The Man With the Harmonica
  • Playing: Dragon Age
  • Eating: Toast
  • Drinking: Coffee


Lise Dahl Lewalski
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
Current Residence: Denmark
Favourite genre of music: Whatever suits my mood.
Favourite style of art: Black and white. Shades are my deity.
Operating System: Windows. Better the evil you know, right?
MP3 player of choice: iPod Mini
Shell of choice: Uhh, 9 milimeter?
Skin of choice: As long as it isn't burnt, I don't care
Favourite cartoon character: Raphael of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Personal Quote: John's Revelations, chapter 2, verse 13... 'Nuff said!


:icondiazartist: :icondelrosal: :iconcheesedemon88: :iconredsilverartist: :iconhomicidalnutria: :icontamura: :iconsethdk: :iconjayfosgitt: :icontunatorpedo:


Add a Comment:
laerry Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2006
Hey, thanks for the watch :aww:
MegSyv Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2006  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch! :hug:
Pilar-Sama Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2006  Professional Artist
thanks for the watch. nice to see a fellow Clive Barker/Nightbreed fan.
ripper24 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2006  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks right back at ya'! I'd love to see Your version of Rawhead, though...
Hitlersbrain Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2006
Thanks for the watch!
AbbadonFlare Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2006
heh heh...beaker
lia-fail Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2006   Filmographer
Thanks for the watch!! :)
silver-sehkmet Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2006  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks for the devwatch!
DeadGuyAnonymous Featured By Owner May 15, 2006  Hobbyist Photographer
hey :wave: love your comic and art =)
SpacelingArt Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2006  Professional Digital Artist
thanks for the watch =^^=
Add a Comment: