Rikayu-chan

Hey guys!

I know I've been missing in here for a while and just coming back on and off.  But I felt like I should let you all know why and some new things coming up as well.

First of all, to all my supporters and people who still believe in me, thank you so so SO much for continuing to support the artwork on here, no matter how old it is and waiting and waiting until I post something new.  When I first opened up this account, I never expected anyone to even like any of my stuff at all.  I was just some girl wanting to draw.  

I'm deeply sorry that I haven't posted anything up at all after saying that I would.  And I know that it must have disappointed at least a few.  I had every intention of coming back in full force all those times I said I would, but it just never happened.  

The last couple years have been pretty rough for me...  And until now, it is still incredibly hard to balance everything, especially being a mom.  I was down to probably the lowest point in my life and all while trying to raise a kid by myself.  I just try to do my best and make sacrifices because that's all I can do.   But along the way, I ended up losing a lot of myself, especially as an artist.

My life is in a much happier place right now and I'm thankful for that.  But it hurts me very much that I had lost the drive I had as an artist.  Probably over the last two years especially, it has been the hardest trying to push and motivate myself to draw.  It goes beyond art block - I just wasn't happy with myself as an artist anymore.  

For a long time, I considered shutting my account down, taking all my artwork, and giving up.  I would spent endless nights crying over ripped pieces of paper because I couldn't draw anything or I just didn't like how my drawings turned out.  I finally made the decision to step back and let go and just focus on my life and trying to get back on my feet.  

The process of trying to find myself as a person again isn't easy.  I'm still working on that and I probably will for a very long time.  But I think I'm at the point where I want to try and find that girl that loves to draw again.  And I decided that I wanted to share that journey with anyone wanting to tag along.  

I'll be opening up an account on Instagram where anyone can follow me while I work to find a happy place with my art.  I'll announce it with a link probably towards the end of May.  I'll still keep this page active, but I'll be able to post more often on Instagram.  I honestly don't know if this will work, but I figured I would give it a shot.  I don't think I'm ready to give up just yet so I'm willing to at least try.

For anyone who had commissioned me to do artwork in the past and still has an order pending, I deeply apologize.  I have decided to offer refunds because I feel that it would be unfair for me to continue with the commission unless I was confident in my artwork again.  So anyone who had already paid me before, please feel free to contact me via Note.  The email I have listed on here isn't all that much active anymore, so I'll be updating that to a proper business email when I get the chance, or you can also send me a direct message on Instagram when I have that account set up.  For anyone that was wanting a commission and was waiting for slots, I probably won't open them back up for a long while so I'm sorry for that as well.  

I hope that everything goes well from here and that I can truly find myself as an artist again.  Stay tuned for my next journal for the Instagram announcement and I look forward to sharing my journey.  

❤