This is a very well done piece. It's got a lot of emotion, but the problem is that it's almost hidden in the crispness that you word it as. I don't know if that's how you intended for it to be or not. If it is, then you pulled it off nicely, if almost mechanically. If it isn't, then I suggest changing the words just a bit so that it's a little bit colder, a little bit more...intense, if I can say. "One day she's gonna be headless. Brains blown out by ignoring instinct" The phrasing of that bothers me, simply because of the bluntness of it, and the fact that "gonna" isn't a word. I know that you wrote it as you intended it to be read, but I am a grammar Nazi of sort and it bothers me. It is, of course, your piece, though. So you don't need to change anything if you don't wish to. It is your piece, so leave it so that it fits your satisfaction. These are simply suggestions that I hope you find helpful.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write out such a helpful critique! I agree with just about everything that you've said, they are issues that I struggle with pretty constantly. Back to the drawing board (haha!) to do more research
Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a lovely critique! Sadly, there isn't a whole lot of backstory for her design. I just kind of doodled things that I liked MAybe I will make a story for her and the objects, though, because your response is very inspiring for me Thank you again!!