revois's avatar

revois

Lauren H. McKenzie
2.7K
Watchers
99K
Page Views
579 Deviations
Artist // Hobbyist // Digital Art
Badges
Fancy Llama: Llamas are awesome! (2336)Fancy Llama: Llamas are awesome! (2336)Fancy Llama: Llamas are awesome! (2336)
I've seen it: It's Coming -- Stay Tuned!
Half-Moon Cake: Half-Werewolves love it (3)Half-Moon Cake: Half-Werewolves love it (3)Half-Moon Cake: Half-Werewolves love it (3)Half-Moon Cake: Half-Werewolves love it (3)Half-Moon Cake: Half-Werewolves love it (3)Half-Moon Cake: Half-Werewolves love it (3)Half-Moon Cake: Half-Werewolves love it (3)
Birthday '15: Celebrated DeviantArt's 15th birthday
birthdAy '10: decade of deviousness

Statistics

Page Views99K
Deviations579
Watchers2.7K
Watching1.1K
Favourites5.2K
Comments Made22.8K
Comments Received7K

Watchers

2.7K Deviants
MMEHRAN5510
The-Last-Johnmurai's avatar
The-Last-Johnmurai
anime---dot---club's avatar
anime---dot---club
Redwolfless's avatar
Redwolfless
Typhoonx15
Dnor555's avatar
Dnor555
AA06052016
SmolTanker12's avatar
SmolTanker12
danielotes's avatar
danielotes
InTheEyesOfTheMoon's avatar
InTheEyesOfTheMoon
Cloud886612
sumnerreine
Juui07
Soon-bok's avatar
Soon-bok
NekoSanNiko

Watching

1.1K Deviants
screentones's avatar
screentones
MultitalentedARTist's avatar
MultitalentedARTist
Skvor's avatar
Skvor
Chaotic-Muffin's avatar
Chaotic-Muffin
ming85's avatar
ming85
MeganCoffey's avatar
MeganCoffey
Sciamano240's avatar
Sciamano240
StalkingP's avatar
StalkingP
Vampyr-Club's avatar
Vampyr-Club
yy6242's avatar
yy6242
Pretty-As-A-Picture's avatar
Pretty-As-A-Picture
Cushart's avatar
Cushart
TacoSauceNinja's avatar
TacoSauceNinja
Assovi-Major's avatar
Assovi-Major
Junowski's avatar
Junowski

Group Admin

2 Groups

Group Member

633 Groups

Badges

2.3K Badges
Llama: Llamas are awesome! (1)
Give a Llama Badge
Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)
Give a Cake Badge
5.7K badges sent, 2.3K badges received:
gave a Llama badge
Llama: Llamas are awesome!
Llama: Llamas are awesome!
gave a Llama badge
Llama: Llamas are awesome!
gave a Llama badge
Llama: Llamas are awesome!
Llama: Llamas are awesome!

Comments

You're very welcome, I hope it was helpful!
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Impact

<img class="avatar" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/w/r/w…" alt=":iconwriters--club:" title="Writers--club"/>

This is a very well done piece. It's got a lot of emotion, but the problem is that it's almost hidden in the crispness that you word it as. I don't know if that's how you intended for it to be or not. If it is, then you pulled it off nicely, if almost mechanically. If it isn't, then I suggest changing the words just a bit so that it's a little bit colder, a little bit more...intense, if I can say.
"One day she's gonna be headless.
Brains blown out by ignoring instinct"
The phrasing of that bothers me, simply because of the bluntness of it, and the fact that "gonna" isn't a word. I know that you wrote it as you intended it to be read, but I am a grammar Nazi of sort and it bothers me. It is, of course, your piece, though. So you don't need to change anything if you don't wish to. It is your piece, so leave it so that it fits your satisfaction. These are simply suggestions that I hope you find helpful.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write out such a helpful critique! I agree with just about everything that you've said, they are issues that I struggle with pretty constantly. Back to the drawing board (haha!) to do more research :D
Sasuke Genderbend
commented on Feathered by
Sure, I'll definitely let you know :D You are so kind, thank you :heart:
Feathered
commented on Feathered by
Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a lovely critique! Sadly, there isn't a whole lot of backstory for her design. I just kind of doodled things that I liked :D MAybe I will make a story for her and the objects, though, because your response is very inspiring for me :D 
Thank you again!!
Feathered