Your uncle used to call himself Alfalfa Mars. He'd dance into coffee shops with his tweed top hats yelling "I'm Alfalfa Mars and my socks are always on fire!" He'd always get 10% off his septuple shot expresso's that way.
William H Macy has been living in your closet for 3 weeks now and the whole time he has been in there he has making a sculpture from chewed bubblegum that was all chewed by Christopher Walken. The sculpture is a miniature yet life-sized Paul Winchell head that only wishes you terrible joy.