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Look behind you!
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Don't Check the Locks. Don't Look at the Door.

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Existential Terror and Breakfast: Tour

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Existential Terror and Breakfast: Tour

Welcome to a known unknown, a place to be but never seen, a familiar face with a foreign name. Welcome, to a tour of Malcolm’s kitchen. On your left as you walk in you will immediately see a refrigerator. It will be easy to dismiss this common appliance as something nonchalant, and therefore uninteresting, but this would be a grave mistake. Yes, it has all of the common markings of a boring refrigerator, this is undeniable. The magnets that Malcolm Steadman has accumulated and stuck to it’s door are nothing more than sticky business cards, free accessories given to him through the years by various companies hoping that their phon
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Artist // Professional // Literature
  • Nov 22
  • United States
  • Deviant for 11 years
  • revfitz.com
  • He / Him
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Delicious Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Delicious Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Delicious Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)
Super Albino: Llamas are awesome! (259)

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Have you ever been sitting on the side of the road changing a tire when a cop pulls up next to you and says you are under arrest but before you can say anything he starts vomiting spiders everywhere while chasing you around your car but then another cop shows up and tells you to stop but he is really the entire roman empire hiding under a trench coat when you notice that all of the trains on earth are running late because every businessman is looking at their watch while screaming "fried butternut squash" over and over as their ties suddenly become sentient but only ask everyone how the weather is in west London? Have you?

TLDR?: "have you ever been British and made eye contact?" No. But I have once tried to explain the entire history of carbon to someone who had never considered that Alpacas were fourth dimensional. Shame.

SHAME. An alpaca once told me you can't make an omelette without breaking a few atoms. That alpaca is now the top recording artist in Liechtenstein. Dreams can come true. They can also catch you on fire.

Have you ever wondered how many pants you could fit on your head, so you just keep piling pants on your head until you are buried under a mountain of pants while screaming "help me! Home foreclosures are too high in my area!"

Dummy Thanks for faving

Night Fuel by leothefox  
Of course, you have awesome work :D
Happy Birthday.