residesinflames's avatar
is a my chem head
27 Watchers8.2K Page Views108 Deviations
w
walking in you
Walking for the first time with out that guiding hand fragile pillars crumble soon after the introduction of independence what I once depended on to get by is now obsolete standing for the first time all the text book equations and answers seem so far away hollow and worthless hearing them tumble from my mouth without realizing it for the first time i realized how small i am seeing the world for the first time depraved and corrupt as it is in all it's perverse beauty for the first time i knew what i had to do with no book telling me what has happened now or what will happen in the future how do you grow up now? when did
a different me
a different me
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my sidenote
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f
fall
I have fallen to my knees just so you would see me I have given in to giving to you you don't love me you could never love me I see what I have become full of hate and desperately looking for love and attention I became jaded and numb when awoke to the whore I had become I couldn't believe it I was bruised broke and still stuck on you my knees still bleed my soul is black and blue but all in all I still love you looking down on it letters I wrote that I never gave to you, looking back on all the stupid things I had done and things I become so you would see me it never worked nothing worked so much for a new hope so much f
arron again
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resonating light
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unjust
Realizations of sheer stupidity and pride unjustly, i crucified you... beat you and spat at your dying body you where the whipping boy stppping back i never saw it, reflecting now, i was a fool none of my appologies are good enogh my actions have been rash and in passion, but why should you forgive me? you don't need to, I've dug my self a hole as far as i can see i deserve to stay here for what it's worth i'm sorry i really am for what its worth i wish we were friends but to you it means nothing, to you i mean nothing
See all
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headache and the bottle
I drank myself sick last night and all I have left of you is this painful headache and my head in a toilette This is almost as bad as how much time I wasted on you This is like suffocating my self and watching in the mirror It's like having a small hole in the bag so it will drag on It's painful I drank myself sick to get you out of my mind and isn't it ironic that I still have a part of you The hangover seems everlasting and is a constant reminder of the pain I tried to suppress I leave you and I know you won't notice I ever left It's alright though Now I have time for healthier things than waiting by the phone and staring at a
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ok now
hey ok now i\'ve been down and i dont like it i\'ve travled the lonely road one too many times the on going supressed pain it has all welled up and is beginning to show through by the expression on my face The pain is released and i am new the feelings have gone numb and gone replaced by a new feeling of a longing for friendship it\'s all i ever wantedi never wanted anything different and i never will i wanted to be your friend and thats it thats all i ever wanted the fleeting moments that have caught you they eat you up and disturb you i can see it in your eyes they burn with pain and i cant comfort you anymore i wont let mysel
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invisiable wounds
My wounds have been shown to you in hopes you can relieve pain but you poke and prod to no avail The skin wears weak It tears Beneath the catacomb of memories Some happy, but most sad you have revealed the part of me that I put under anesthetics so you could sear it shut, but you've ripped open one wound many have never heard of The one to my heart My heart filled full of emotions no one ever knew I had People never would think it's possible for me to feel this way but it's surprising How much you learn in a few short months and imagine years pass…. Now you know how I've come to this actualization
2-20-02
The pain is excruciating … Loosing you but never having you to begin with I'm sorry I met you I'm sorry for you too, You are screwed up and indecisive And you have problems Yeah, well I have some too… I regret we met I regret the days we talked I regret everything but still, I wouldn't want to take it back You made me better like a drug fixing some and Screwing up other things Everything has come undone and I'm sure the truth is out How can anyone resist I once cared but now I'm just pissed Pissed and still searching, Searching for what I could have done wrong Now I know we were never friends From the
p
pt 1
I'll swallow my pain, choke, die and be reborn strong I have one wish, You will pretend we never met Let's start anew I wish I could turn back time and take back the first things I ever said; I should have never said a word But you helped me realize I needed to be myself I guess you were kinda like a blessing in disguise I now want to be far from you Thought it maybe years from now for it to happen I want to not be in communications reach from you The dedication to you left me weak and weary But I wont let you make me Bitter It would take innumerable lifetimes for you to do that I gave and never asked to receive but it would h
p
pt 2
Burry me far from you You saw me fall You took hold of the strings to my fragile heart You swung for a while then took a form grip and ran till my heart could unravel no more If a storm took me away would you care? No That's what I thought I would be taken far and you wouldn't even bat an eye I guess that's where I really belong I was so confused, why don't you care? Then I remembered you purposely never attach I will break away and feel what I never felt from you Then I'll know I've found where I belong and its far from you
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lend me a hand
Save me from my mad rantings Call to me and save me from myself I need a friendly voice to comfort me One look from you made me all giddy I'm dying an only you can save me You wanting to see me awakes me from a deadly slumber You proofing over my shoulder as I typed left me wondering And I know With you is where I want to be The town that separates us we can conquer and the years too We can do anything I was hesitant to call Your message on my phone was reassuring at the perfect timing You breathed new life in to my motionless body and made me the happiest I've been in a long time and nothing can compare to you
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can you feel the pain
Can you feel the pain? God… why me Why all the pain Why do I have these feelings you will never know For if you knew U would surely stop talking to me How sad is that Why do you torment me like this I writhe in pain Slowly all my bones disintegrate I have collapsed it to a boneless mass of flesh My breathing is slowing to a stop Though u cannot see it I died The moment you didn't say she is ugly The times I thought we were that getting close and These were just lies Lies I told myself…. Lies my friends began to tell me… Lies I began to believe This new found hate may not be good or just one but you tell me, Would y
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dwindle
As I dwindle away in this skin suit, I feel the icy hand of despair upon my shoulder Slowly as the feeling flows through my veins I catch a glimpse of what I once was I am slowly burning down into ash and cinder I stand back and watch my early demise and I can't help wondering can I put out the burning flame in my heart that will bring me to an early grave If I put the fire out I am sure I could love no more if I let it go it will consume me; I will be no more. You see my heart's flame had been rekindled then came him, the flame kept rising every time he came near. Until one day the flames rose too high and my entire heart caught ablaz
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tears to flames
As the tears leave my eyes they burst into flames My heart is torn How will I survive? I am taking poison in front of everyone but they do not see my action I wish I could disappear I wish I could have never be seen or heard from again Your poisoned words bring tears I am consumed in flames I walk away again badly burned and disgraced Why shed a tear? I have seen a beautiful thing and I don't want anyone else to enjoy it I am selfish He left me in pain; I begged for more; almost torturing myself with him as a punishment for my feelings; trying to kill them, but each pain awakens new ones I cannot leave you alone, though I cannot
Jeph Howard
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- what you did to my heart
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c l e a n
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decisive moment
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dizzydizzydizzy
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lets not kid anymore
ok well its been a while huh? my life is really too busy to be active lately... so much for comming back and up dating huh well hopefull at the end of this term i will have some free time and will update untill then -lauren
herro
hey everyone, i know its been a century here the update with me i i swear that this month i will put the stuff i wrote last semester up. christmas was good, my car is a POS and school is going well.... here are my classes physical anthropology french western history intro to world mudic art color and design 16 units so have a full load and im gonna be the tutor for the cultural anthro class. next i have to find a job and soon...i neeed to make some $ to go towrads my car....the new one i hope, since mine alomst killed me (litterally) my parent have been thinking of getting me a new car THe explanation: one day i woke up and decide
WTF...RIP Dime
what the hell I cant beleive that dimebag is gone. i can even understand why you would kill someone you idolize.... RIP Darrell "Dimebag" Abbott

Comments252

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StaticPallor-'s avatar
StaticPallor-|Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My myspace is
[link]
I went to yours, but your layout has it so I can't add you! So add me!!
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StaticPallor-'s avatar
StaticPallor-|Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Damn this thing is old! I miss talking to you!!
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residesinflames's avatar
you have to aim me sometime. i want an update of your life
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StaticPallor-'s avatar
StaticPallor-|Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh man, I haven't heard from you in a while!! I'm pretty good. And you?
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dreadz's avatar
:hug:
Thanks for letting me support you here on this growing site
:hug: :heart: you always Lauren my friend
Thanks for stopping by as well when you do
we'll talk on aim when I"m available. But I'll try my best for you
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PenWieldingPoets's avatar
~PenWieldingPoets is a newly formed community for poets that use meter.
If you use meter, or would like to learn, please drop by!
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StaticPallor-'s avatar
StaticPallor-|Hobbyist Traditional Artist
WHERE DID YOU GO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Erin misses you...
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