My contempt for all these people is such that I had to stop and think who this is, since I never watch the news and carefully avoid all speeches, pronouncements, etc by anybody connected with politics whatsoever. It's a beautiful caricature, though!
The (imaginary) Amphy Administration would be much more straightfoward.
PRESIDENT AMPHY: Yeah, sure we got them Rooshians to dig up dirt on mah bitch opponent.So what? Thang is, sure we promised them dumbshits all kine of stuff if Ah won - liftin' sanctions, all kinds of crap, hand over San Francisco, whatever. They sure ate it up, but guess what, Putin? (Turns to camera) Sorry to tells ya, but Ah was lyin! Nows I in office, fuck you, Vlad you communiss! You ain' gettin' jackshit Ha ha! (Makes obscene gesture) Sit on it an' rotate!"
RACHAEL MADDOW. Uh, Madame President, given the mysterious disappearance of your former press secretary
PRESIDENT AMPHY: Ain no mystery. He pissed me off, is all. Asked too many fool questions. Kinda lak you is doin' now, cunt.
RACHAEL MADDOW: Well, in the light of your dropping poll numbers
PRESIDENT AMPHY: Droppin' what numbers? Lissen here, lil' Rachael, this here piece of paper call the Constitution say I is the Commander in Chief of, you know, the armed forces, get it? So's theys really the only segment of th' population I needs to worry about, right? An' let me tell you, among other thangs, them honest soljer boys appreciates the natural attributes (thrusts chest forward) of a natural swamp gal!
RACHAEL MADDOW: But...
PRESIDENT AMPHY: On th' other han, you an' ol' Hillary's natural attributes put together (ew!) ain' gonna ensure the loyalty of a platoon o' mall security cops. So, basically, you is fucked. Sorry to be the one to break that to ya, lil reporter gal!
RACHAEL MADDOW: Given the ongoing controversy about your policies, Madame President, what is your response to...
PRESIDENT AMPHY: (snarling) You would surely do better to unnerstan' lil' Rachael Maddow, afore askin' another stupid question, that I is close enough to tear out your throat long afore any of them Secret Service pussies kin pull me offa you. Word to the wise, gettit?
Little more needs to be said, except to note that one of the Secret Service guidelines during the Amphy Administration was "The President is always closer than you think she is."