Meet the Pig-La Fumes

“There is no-one in the world like Fifi. She’s sweet, funny, kind and cute. She never lets any setbacks she faces keep her down. It doesn’t matter what life throws at her. Or what it throws at you. She’ll be there to help. On days when I’m just not strong enough, or brave enough, she’s there. She’s like an angel, coming down to love you. Protect you. Be there for you. Her arms and especially her beautiful fluffy tail are like a warm downy blanket on a biting winters day. Her voice is heavenly. Her lips against your lips or your cheek are stronger than a hurricane but as gentle as a summer rain.”

“All ov my searches for love have ended in failure. Boot do you know what I learned from zem? Sometimes, your special one eez not een a movie, or on ze ozair side ov ze world. Sometimes, zey are right een front ov you. Zere eez not a day where ah do not praise ze lord zat ah met mah Hamton. 'E eez ze sweetest, kindest et most genuine man een ze world. Braver zan a bulldog, but warmer zan a teddy bear. 'E will be zere pour you. Even eef you come knockeeng in ze middle ov ze night.  Ah 'ave never felt braver, or safer, as when ah am weeth heem. Notheeng and nobodee can harm moi when ah feel my pig's strong arms around moi.”

SIX YEARS LATER

Meet the Pig-La Fumes (or La Fume-Pigs depending on which side of the family you’re talking to).

After getting married, and their honeymoon on the Riviera, Fifi and Hamton moved to Paris. The former used a sum of money from the La Fume family wine business to set up a perfume emporium, which she and her husband call home. The latter enrolled and studied at Le Cordon Bleu, finally deciding to take the plunge with his dream career.

Fifi's most popular perfumes are Obsession, Repression and Ecstasy. She even has some for beginners. She warns certain toons that they’re NOT for eating. You'd be surprised how many have. Hamton came up with a dish that was a runaway success including lobster and truffles. It’s one of the tastiest meals in the Tooniverse and he thanks Cap'n Teneal for the inspiration.

After graduating with flying colours, Hamton worked as a chef at a gourmet restaurant for two years until he started his own. A joint venture with Fifi, Les Cochons et Moufettes serves the finest meals and also has a shop selling La Fume Perfume. The restaurant has the distinction of selling Le Sucker 9000, a vacuum cleaner which releases ten different fragrances to freshen the air.

Babs and Buster, Plucky and Shirley, Pepe and Penelope, Wade and Winnie Pig, Gigi and the La Fumes are patrons of Les Cochons et Moufettes whenever they’re in the area.

After celebrating their successes, the happy couple got busy.

All four of their children were born in France minutes apart. Their parents are very clean, but they tend to litter, if you know what I mean. Here’s their family portrait.

From left to right:

Felicity, Fleur, Fifi, Hamton, Henri, Harry

As you can see, Felicity and Fleur are skunks like their mother, while Henri and Harry are pigs like their father. But naturally, they’ve inherited genes from both parents. Notice Felicity's ears, or Fleur's naturally curly tail? How about the faint whiteness on Henri's face or how fluffy Harry is?

The Pig-La Fume family eventually moved out of La Fume Perfume and into the Parisian countryside, where they reside in a ranch house they had built with the money Fifi and Hamton earned between each other.

Fifi and Hamton agree that for all their financial successes, they consider their children to be the best things to ever happen to them.

Art by Zillabean