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Fawnberry by Redpandaseas Fawnberry by Redpandaseas
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:iconcamilionkd:
camilionkd Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I meant to comment a bit earlier, my apologies for the delay.
Theres two issues that I’d like resolved before I accept her, if you don’t mind. You list her as a Somali but she definitely doesn’t look like one; there are practically no colourations that could come close to hers, unfortunately. I’d recommend either a breed change or changing her design to match her breed. (Is she also a purebred by chance?)
Otherwise, as you have her at 1.5 years, I’d like a bit more history to accommodate for that - as warriors are typically a solid year, give or take, when they earn their name and you have her history up to the point that she earned it. So something to cover the moons afterwards would work (unless she was made a warrior late, which I assume was not the case).
If you get those fixed up, I’ll be glad to have you in SwampClan. ^^
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:iconredpandaseas:
Redpandaseas Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Okay hopefully its all good now :,)
I changed her to an american short hair if thats better?
also yeah I tried to imply she was made a warrior late because of her grief over berrypaw, which I can make clearer in the apprentice part ;o
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:iconxwilted--rosex:
XWilted--RoseX Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hey! I dunno if Cami ever got into contact with you, but Ashfall has been chosen as Deputy of Swampclan.
Would you be interested in joining with this cat as a regular warrior?
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:iconredpandaseas:
Redpandaseas Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
yep I would love that!
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:iconxwilted--rosex:
XWilted--RoseX Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Awesome! Just edit your app to be a warrior and Cami can give you a look over
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:iconredpandaseas:
Redpandaseas Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
alright updated!
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:iconxwilted--rosex:
XWilted--RoseX Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Awesome! So a few things I’ve noticed...
You have listed her age as 5 moons... I’m sure you can see the issue there.

Her goals are very deputy-centric—becoming leader etc. but they could probably still work I suppose.

Her history: I do not think I would allow her to be a loner cat simply because I feel this is a trait that I will be adding to the shop or perhaps bans. So as of now please have her a pure Swampclan cat.

At one point you mentioned Mapleclan attacking Swampclans camp. This is a fairly large battle to have included and it has not happed within our history. If you want a battle, please refer to a battle over flatrocks, as that is a reoccurring battleground. Mapleclan would not attack swampclans camp unless they were under the leadership of Daisystar or someone very similar.

Other than that I think it’s all okay camilionkd do you agree?
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:iconredpandaseas:
Redpandaseas Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha it says 5 moons because theres a 1 year next to it, so shes 1 year and  5 moons ;) it might be easy to miss.

I'll leave the goals till Cami gives an input? since I think they could work considering she does want to be leader? But if not i'll change them

I fixed the history about being a loner and the battle, let me know if I need to change anything else there ;0
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:iconxwilted--rosex:
XWilted--RoseX Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ohhh... with our setup, the moons side is their age in moons and the years side is what their age in moons equates to in years. So for example: 12 Moons | 1 year.

Of course! 

Thank you!
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:iconredpandaseas:
Redpandaseas Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Ahh I see my bad, I fixed that up too so it makes sense ;)
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:iconxwilted--rosex:
XWilted--RoseX Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I will have to come back to this when I have more time, but the first feedback that I can give you is that I would not accept the name Cobraivy. It's just not quite traditional sounding enough. Also, I would like to see the skills filled out.
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:iconredpandaseas:
Redpandaseas Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
updated it a bit, hope its better
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:iconxwilted--rosex:
XWilted--RoseX Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Also we will need your finished application before we can accept you as anything. You have still yet to complete a written history.
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:iconredpandaseas:
Redpandaseas Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
alright hopefully its all good now :,)
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:iconxwilted--rosex:
XWilted--RoseX Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ok cool. Fawnberry is such a cute name!! Also, her written app still refers to her as Cobra in a couple places so you might need to look through that
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September 4, 2017
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