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About Varied / Student Amanda Mizer26/Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
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Simple
Simple, sticker-like images. Bold designs, limited backgrounds.
TLDR: I've been off work all of January because of depression/suicidal thoughts.
I need to pay rent and get groceries, and I 'd rather pour time into drawing than being depressed.
Please help. I've got all the time I need to finish USD/Paypal commissions right now.
I've improved my work-time on drawings too, so I'm getting big things done faster.

Prices:
:heart: razrroth.weebly.com/prices.htm… :heart:
Negotiable prices, based on character detail, etc.
If nothing else, please let others know I'm open for USD commissions.
Anything goes!

~
The more rambly version:
I need monetary help. I was hit really hard with depression Nov-Dec as work pushed me to my emotional limits: I had no time off, was made to stay and cover shifts for upwards of 17hr, upper management ignored every attempt I made to get help, even when I was sobbing to their faces, etc.
I'd had the same job for 3 years, but I transferred locations around 6 months ago because they needed reliable workers here and it was closer to home. However, I never had these extreme schedule/management issues at my old location, so it really broke me emotionally and I couldn't stand it.

I finally gave a note to my boss telling her I planned to quit this January because I was on the edge of suicide (which isn't like me). She finally recognized how serious my situation was, called my mom (my emergency contact) and we worked on getting me time off with FMLA (which basically just says "we'll save your job til you come back") instead of just letting me quit.
As thankful as I am for finally "having time off" it only goes so far when I only have a few weeks of paid leave, so-
This paycheck I'm literally only getting ~$10.
Our rent is over $900.
My fiance has been wonderful and supportive through it all, and he's.. he's amazing and I love him.
I'm glad he's working as hard as he is to support us both right now, but it takes both our incomes to cover all our bills.

The worst part is that I'm still struggling with depression, and I'm scared. Scared of what happens next.
The suicidal thoughts still get in my head when my fiance is at work, so I just draw and write and distract myself.
I know I can't go back to that job. It's not healthy for me.
And with all the negativity in my head right now, I'm finding it difficult to find a job I could survive at.
(I'm trying to avoid anything similar to my current job, to avoid anxiety issues)

And yes, my fiance is fully supporting me in helping me get back into my online communities again. He knows how important my art is to me, but I told him that it takes time to build up a customer base for "bill-paying levels of income." What little art I've sold online, we've been using that money for food while he covers major bills. It's not much, but it helps. But we're getting down to the wire at this point with what little money I'm bringing in. I really gotta push it now.

PS - I've been directing my creative efforts at a comic plot too, and plan to start a Patreon for that once I've got more substance/artwork I can post about it. Nice to have a project to focus on for once.

Thank you to anyone who reads or replies.
I am going to therapy when I have money for it.
And I'm really trying not to give up on myself.
I know I'm a good person, and I pushed myself too hard. That's all.
I don't deserve these stupid negative thoughts in my head, and I'm not going to let them win.
I just need time.
:heart:

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:iconaffian-the-fennec:
Affian-the-Fennec Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2018
Happy Birthday!
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:iconrosespectrum:
RoseSpectrum Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Christmas Divider

Happy birthday!
I hope you have a wonderful day!
Christmas Cake with candles 50x50 icon

Christmas Divider
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:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2018
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's December 21st which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

:iconchampagneplz: Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love: :iconchampagneplz:

Birthday Clown v.2 by birthdays MenInASuitcase by love4Julius Happy Birthday by Brigitte-Fredensborg HAPPY B-DAY Icon by Rawrexe :happy birthday: by iDJPanda          



---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: LDFranklin
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:iconjjjmadness:
JJJMadness Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
F2U: Black Neko Blob IconF2U: Purple Pink Pop Neko Blob IconF2U: Bright Orange Neko Blob IconF2U: Greenish Neko Blob IconF2U: Pink Neko Blob IconF2U: Tangerine Neko Blob IconF2U: Baby Pink Neko Blob IconF2U: Snow Blue Neko Blob IconF2U: Light Purple Neko Blob IconF2U: Glowing Blue Neko Blob IconF2U: White Neko Blob Icon F2U: Black Neko Blob Icon 
 Scalpel (Left)Tini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeTini Vintage Syringe
       bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces SCP 035 Icon [F2U]bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces
       bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley facesTini Cleaver (Right)  Tini Preserved Heart Moving Eye Ball Cup Cake 50x50 icon  Love Letter  Moving Eye Ball Cup Cake 50x50 icon  Tini Preserved Heart Tini Cleaver (Left)bunch of smiley facesbunch of smiley faces
       bunch of smiley facesPill Avatar  Moving Eyeballs Cake Type 2 50x50 icon      Shuddering Letter: H Shuddering Letter: A Shuddering Letter: P Shuddering Letter: P Shuddering Letter: Y      Moving Eyeballs Cake Type 2 50x50 icon Popsicle bunch of smiley faces
   Gothic LampMoving Eyeballs Tower Cake 50x50 icon  Red Eye  Shuddering Letter: B Shuddering Letter: I Shuddering Letter: R Shuddering Letter: T Shuddering Letter: H Shuddering Letter: D Shuddering Letter: A Shuddering Letter: Y  Pastel Purple Eye Moving Eyeballs Tower Cake 50x50 iconGothic Lamp 
Tini Vintage Syringe leftTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeEyesTini EyeScalpel (Right)
F2U: Black Neko Blob IconF2U: Purple Pink Pop Neko Blob IconF2U: Bright Orange Neko Blob IconF2U: Greenish Neko Blob IconF2U: Pink Neko Blob IconF2U: Tangerine Neko Blob IconF2U: Baby Pink Neko Blob IconF2U: Snow Blue Neko Blob IconF2U: Light Purple Neko Blob IconF2U: Glowing Blue Neko Blob IconF2U: White Neko Blob Icon F2U: Black Neko Blob Icon 
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:iconxiaoyao8:
xiaoyao8 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday! :)
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