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About Literature / Hobbyist Michael den HeijerMale/Netherlands Recent Activity
Deviant for 9 Years
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Euphoria in spirits
I drown myself in spirits,
In order to obtain something beyond
the stalemate that is me,
A dull nothingness, warmed by intoxication,
Illumiated by delirium,
Raptured in euphoria,
A state far beyond my own reach~
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Black truths
Black ink scribes down feelings on white paper,
Yet it never portrays an entire truth,
For noone can read a black sheet.
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Annual Holiday Greetings 2011
It's about that time of year,
Where I'm to write about some holiday cheer,
It's been an eventful one, that in the least,
Not a whole lot of positive, though there's always tomorrows feast,
Between deceased dictators, rebellion, and more political crap,
Natural disasters, 2012 apocalypse and countries getting the financial strap,
Not to cheery thus far, that I agree,
But at the same time, alot of people fought their way free,
Still for the really positive things, I think you got to look to your own,
Say thanks for all the personal happenings, the fruits of the labor you've sown,
Say thanks for the people around you, family, friends, those that stayed true,
Say thanks for the oppertunity, the chances, the choices, and all the good things that happened personally to you,
Remember the bad as well, and learn from those mistakes,
After all, everything has been an exprience, the good parts and the painful aches,
Bottom line; the year itself was a whole lot of shit,
But if you live for yoursel
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My despair
For the longest time now, I've been lost,
My feelings dulled, my heart one of frost,
I've lacked a real reason to live,
Something to which, all of me, I could give,
Thus in order to find meaning, to survive,
I began a journey to find my drive,
Over half a year has passed, and I've lived it all,
I met many people, had my share of rise and fall,
I've done everything I could imagine, and then some more,
But now the list is empty, and I still havent found what I'm looking for,
Friends tell me, I complain to much, I should just enjoy it,
That I've got so many reasons to live, why just destroy it,
But they just don't understand, and it hurts that this is so,
I'm unable to explain to them, this emptiness inside my soul,
That it can't just be filled, with things that to me, hold no worth,
That a simple bandage, something temporal, won't bring me happiness and mirth,
For not a single thing, has left me breathless or stirred my heart,
Not a single thing made me think, this is my raison d'etre, r
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One of those Nights
It's one of those nights; the fluorescent light from the monitor expels barely enough light to see, where as the pale half moon, shining its cold rays upon my skylight, casting my surroundings in surreal image of gray. Any color is hidden in darkness, much like my life, a myriad of a thousand shades of black and gray.
Ah it's one of those nights; where my mind won't stop contemplating all the simple ways to break free from it all indefinitely. To cut this drama short, long before its closing curtain  call.
Ah it's one of those nights; where empty glass bottles lay discarded around me, their contents long since having passed my gray lips, but unable to deliver their usual promise of intoxication, elation and redemption forgotten by morning.
Ah it's one of those nights; where my utter exhaustion refrains me from finding a wink of sleep, my limbs heavy, yet stubbornly repeating the lifting of one last bottle, just like the five last ones before it, trying to find my answer at th
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Pandora's Heart
I've lived a life, nurtured on emotional pain,
Turning every day into an internal struggle; fought in vain,
Till there came a point, I got tired of it all,
Thus I took up mortar and started building the walls,
I build them high and I build them strong,
I build them to last till the end comes along,
All the tears and all the dismay,
I took my misery and hid it away,
Along with all the chaos that was my life,
Behind those towering walls I put away all my strife,
And after I was done, I sealed it tight,
With chains and locks, making sure it would never see light,
As I gazed upon my handywork, tossing away the key,
I found myself also lacking the feelings I needed to be me,
I found myself stripped completely bare,
For I inadvertably lost hope, as I hid away despair,
I lost curiosity as I buried my fears,
I lost joy as I disposed of tears,
I lost love as I got rid of hate,
I lost all will as I wiped clean the slate,
Now I rest, devoid of feeling,
Aimlessly staring at the ceiling,
Waiting fo
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I lost...
I lost sight of;
the dreams I once had,
my plans for the future.
Forgotten in the wake of reality,
illusions of mere fantasy
I lost a sense of;
innocence, and naivity,
hope and belief for a better today.
An ideal of fragile spun glass,
trashed by humanity,
I lost count at;
how often my being has shattered,
in the past couple of years.
Before I could finish putting together,
the remnants that I once was,
I lost track of;
how often I perished,
since the day my existance begun.
Before I could start to live,
a life worth living
I lost the will for;
trying; to keep going on,
every day the weight keeps increasing.
Everything I touch crumbles to dust,
everything I start; ends,
I've given up;
I lost...
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Bright stars mark the sky,
guiding my way home tonight;
In the country side.
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Free yourself
For all the if's,
all the might be's.
For all the what if's,
and all the maybe's.
For all the coulds,
all the woulds, all the shoulds.
For all the perhaps and possibly's,
all the perchance and probably's.
Whether it's credible or feasable,
obtainable or conceivable,
If you want it, take it.
If you need it, make it.
It's never to late,
Just keep going straight.
Aim straight for the goal,
and in doing so;
Free your soul.
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Piercing the Clouds
An overcast sky,
pierced by rays of golden sun.
Warming heart and soul.
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Frozen Hearts
The cold is freezing,
everything relentlessly;
including my heart.

It was a cold morning. Last night's frost covered the land in a sheet of white. Frozen dewdrops clinging to winter's leaves leaving a myriad of glistening crystals in the sunlight. A sight of beauty that could warm hearts despite the cold. Except for mine.
I remember, a year past, the same landscape, just a different situation. The time my heart froze over, never to thaw again.
I asked, I begged you not to leave, but you left.
I told you I needed you, but my pleas fell on frozen ears since the coming morning you were gone.
I stood there, motionlessly, tears cascading indefinitely from eyes stained red.
Slowly the cold crept in, the tears that were splashing softly on frozen ground, soon started shattering into countless crystals of ice till they no longer fell. Frozen before shed.
The rest of my body quickly followed suit, limbs became numb and blue, my blood slowing to a crawl. And lastly, the cold took my hear
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Dancing in the Rain
Tempest of the heart.
Amidst a raging typhoon,
I danced to the rain.
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Rainy Tears
Rain drops shimmer as,
they glide along the window.
Forlorn eyes glisten.
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Live Reality
What good is a life,
that starts off with a "What if?".
Live reality.
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Azure Eyes
Getting lost inside,
perfect pools of pure azure.
Your eyes are brilliant.
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Free Fall
Each woman showing me,
the least bit of attention,
making me fall free.
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Ares - Smite by Amandia Ares - Smite :iconamandia:Amandia 14 4 Dreams of Pisces by Amandia Dreams of Pisces :iconamandia:Amandia 13 0 Waterfall by Amandia Waterfall :iconamandia:Amandia 10 0 Enhancement Shaman - World of Warcraft by Amandia Enhancement Shaman - World of Warcraft :iconamandia:Amandia 19 0 Carnival of Rust 2 by annria2002 Carnival of Rust 2 :iconannria2002:annria2002 1,569 60 I'm the princess by Yaemaru I'm the princess :iconyaemaru:Yaemaru 3 6 Waterfall by Amandia Waterfall :iconamandia:Amandia 39 3 Trick or treat: revised by eikomakimachi Trick or treat: revised :iconeikomakimachi:eikomakimachi 175 12 Butterflies in my garden 1 by Yaemaru Butterflies in my garden 1 :iconyaemaru:Yaemaru 2 2 Butterflies in my garden 2 by Yaemaru Butterflies in my garden 2 :iconyaemaru:Yaemaru 6 2 Butterflies in my garden 3 by Yaemaru Butterflies in my garden 3 :iconyaemaru:Yaemaru 6 5 Did you miss me? by Yaemaru Did you miss me? :iconyaemaru:Yaemaru 3 4 Fullmetal Alchemist by eikomakimachi Fullmetal Alchemist :iconeikomakimachi:eikomakimachi 2,092 122 Serenity by eikomakimachi Serenity :iconeikomakimachi:eikomakimachi 178 14 Very Berry by Yaemaru Very Berry :iconyaemaru:Yaemaru 1 0 little ladybug by Yaemaru little ladybug :iconyaemaru:Yaemaru 5 1


Journal History

So I realise it's been eerily quiet from my end in the past couple of months, the only thing added to my repetoire being the not so well received happy holidays shout out.
This mainly stems from a couple of reasons, them being busy as hell, massive writersblock and quite frankly little to no motivation to write.
I participated in a couple of short story contents and the last results have been in just the other day, and it was shocking to say the least. Out of a 100+ entries, my story ranked in the bottom 10, and I'm not quite sure how to handle this kind of dissappointment. I expected it to not be great, but I definately didnt think it would be that bad either.

Given these contests were in Dutch, which is not my strongest suit to say the least, I think I'll have to re-evaluate my goals. Either quit story writing in dutch, or quit story writing all together and focus only on poetry.

Well thats the relevant bad of it I guess. As for the good, I actually feel inspired to write again due to a particularly sweet girl that entered my life recently and she has been a massive support, encouraging me to write more. (Also constantly nagging me to update already because its getting a minor feature somewhere o_o yeah, I was shocked too... and flattered.)

And thats the relevant good of it, so expect some incoming updates, involving several pieces I've had lying around, but not very inclined to finish/upload them.

As for the rest, my life is still very chaotic in every other aspect, so here's to the not sure!
  • Listening to: AWOLNATION - Sail
  • Eating: Self-Invented dishes
  • Drinking: A little less alcohol then usual.


Ravilik's Profile Picture
Michael den Heijer
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature

Good day readers,
My name is Michael, I'm a 26 year old narcisist with a vanity for the pen and paper.
I currently live in the Netherlands, in a small hickville noone has ever heard of so I'll not bore with the details.
I write mostly english poetry and prose, but on occasion i'll dabble with new styles, forms or subjects, such as the Dutch language or even the writing of songs.
If you ever want to get into more direct contact with yours truly, you can add me on facebook: Michael den Heijer


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BlizzardCommunity Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013
We would love to have your artwork in our gallery. :ahoy:

Feel free to join us :iconblizzarden:.
xxbrayyanxx Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012


Yaemaru Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2012  Student Photographer
Yaemaru Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2012  Student Photographer
oh you < 3 *chu*
Yaemaru Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Student Photographer
favception < 333 love you~ :3
Ravilik Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
what can I say, I'm supportive. (and slightly biased)
Love you too. :)
Yaemaru Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2012  Student Photographer
THANKS AGAIN FOR THE FAV XD Ohgosh~ makin me blush :iconblushplz:
Ravilik Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're cute when you blush :P Thanks for featuring me love ;)

<3 you
Yaemaru Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2012  Student Photographer
<3youmoar :3 :iconblushplz:
Ravilik Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No, you hang up first! :P
(3 Replies)
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