Thanks for the fav on Inktober 19: Scorched - I'll just be a minute...
It goes without saying that touching an orcish laundress’ iron is a sure fire way to land yourself in a shiny black pot of trouble. But it’s the dwarven confederation of delicatessen owners that you really need to be careful of. Don’t let their reduced stature and boisterous good nature deceive you, these deli demons don’t mess around. Back out on a big order, bad mouth the store’s premier selection of salted animal carcasses or even cut the line and that’s it, you’re done for. Now, I know what you’re thinking. What’s the worst that could happen? To this I say, cheese platter. Sorry, I meant cheese splatter. If you cross a dwarven deli owner, you win yourself a lifetime supply of cheap, low grade, barely edible, mouldy cheddar cheese. The thing is, it’s delivered as a lump sum, by airmail, directly on top of your house. And with dairy based ballistic targeting being what it is, chances are your neighbours are going suffer right alongside you. So if you don’t want their deaths on your conscious when an avalanche of cheese jettisons you into the great hereafter, don’t tick off the deli people.
Thank you for choosing AbsurdAir, your captain for this flight is KaidokJ. I have no license, I’m considered legally blind and I’m easily distrac… Wait, what was I talking about…
But not to fear. There’s a good chance we’ll never make our destination, but since this whole flight metaphor is just a weak attempt at a humorous anecdote, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Ah damn, I just shattered the illusion by crashing through the 4th wall.
Anyway, thanks for the watch.
I’m sure you regret your choice by now, considering this madness is basically what you signed up for, but since all tickets are non-refundable, welcome to Crazytown. Quarantine measures come into effect upon arrival.
On a more serious note, here’s basically the run down. Posting regularly (fingers crossed), free funny stories in almost all fav replies, and an intro to Kevin the Llama in the Llama Badge reply. Also, if you haven’t already heard, I’ve been designated Kevin Llamason’s official biographer, so you can check out what he’s been up to in The Kevin Chronicles. (Unfortunately “The Kevin Chronicles” are currently on hiatus, while Kevin gets a handle on his pinecone addiction. In the meantime I hope to experiment with a new format in the near future, so keep an eye out for that)
So that’s about it. Thanks again for flying AbsurdAir, and I hope you enjoy the ride.