I enjoy lots of stuff. Woo.
Don't be afraid to talk to me, I love holding conversations here.
Right now I’m going to focus on finishing my current coms I have left and take a bit of a break. I’ve been working on building up my commission/freelance portfolio and doing work for about ten years now without taking any real breaks and now that the flow of work is pretty consistent, I’m facing burnout. I tried to avoid this for the longest time, because it is my job and I treat it like a job, however in November I’m going to try getting a call center job and I want to dwindle down my stress related to coms. I love art and have fun trying things, but right now with my depression and forcing myself to work, I’ve been more tired and burnt out than usual.
So people that have asked about commissions as of late, I’ve seen your ask/notes/emails and I’m not ignoring you, I just needed to come up with this post.
This was a decision I debated a lot, and I personally don’t know how long I’ll keep this break going, or if I’ll switch to a slot format. At this point I just realize I need to allow myself a full actual break for my own mental health. Anyone that has commissioned me knows I try to do things in a timely manner and update with progress shots, which is something right now I’ve been lagging with (in my mind) and I can’t relax truly right now. I feel a need to be constantly productive, but at points I just am too tired and the product takes longer to finish because of my own exhaustion.
I’m hoping that if I get the job in november I can focus on getting myself back on track with my passions. And as of the break right now, it’s mainly a burnout on coms themselves. When I’m not working, I feel a constant stress, being unable to relax until I work, and then feeling as though I’m not working fast enough. Personal art has come out in a trickle because I have trouble keeping motivation with my own things when I feel very honestly guilty when I spend time on my own work when there’s others I need to work on.
I don’t know if I will truly get myself out of that mentality of “i need money, i need to work so i’m worth being alive” But I want to at least try to get in a better state of mind right now. As I write this, I realize I’ll probably have slots open when I’m done with my current coms, to make the flow of work slower while still making some money. Because I am what my family falls back on when we need money for emergencies or bills.
I also thank the people that are currently waiting on me to finish their pieces, they’ve been so sweet and I really appreciate your patience and understanding with everything that’s happened in the past few months.