438 - September's Shenanigans

September's Shenanigans

DISCLAIMER
The comic/review contains opinions more controversial than usual. Viewer discretion is advised.

With too many things happening at once it's difficult to keep up with it all. So here is a quick mini recap about the things I missed.


"The Fappening"
dailycaller.com/2014/08/31/nud…
www.independent.co.uk/news/peo…

Now this is technically a cheat since the event happened on August 31st. Yet the story became news in September so that's why it's featured here. A major factor in why I do these month reviews is to let the topic simmer or a "let's see what happens" kinda thing which leads me to update the rant 3 or 4 times. That and I don't want to waste my time responding to every little thing that happens these days, when that time can be spent on sprite editing, script writing and porn!

What you're currently reading maybe not the original rant but possibly version 5.6.

So, a little event dubbed "The Fappening" happened when naked photos of Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton and a group of nobodies were uploaded to the internet. Yeah apparently nobody learned from what happened with Scarlett Johansson 3 years ago. You'd think people would wise up and avoid doing shit like this right?

Nope, cus why would stupid famous bimbos avoid doing something stupid? They're like the first people to be killed in a slasher flick!

This may come off as a bit harsh or cruel, but to be honest I have no sympathy for Jennifer Lawrence and any celebrity who take nude photos or make sex tapes of themselves. Because half the time, I suspect it's done on purpose to promote their career. Scarlett Johansson seems to be doing okay since hers got leaked, in fact I think she's in MORE movies now because of it. Plus without stuff being leaked or made, Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian wouldn't even have a career at all.

*thinks about it*

..... On second thought. Her nudes being leaked is a crime against humanity and let's crack down on it. We don't need anymore Paris Hiltons thank you!!!

However, maybe this will be a wake up call to celebrities that "hey, you CAN'T do whatever you like and get away with it!" and perhaps tred a bit more carefully now! That and just let the Paparazzi take embarrassing photos of them. Also maybe this will encourage better security or counter measures online. The FBI proclaimed to arrest anyone peddling the images, seeing the images and the people who hacked them originally.

Funny that, when the plebs do hacking or leaking, the FBI gets involved claiming they'll arrest people for even looking at it. Yet when journalist hack peoples phones or the NSA spy on everyone, that's just "doing their job"

Plus not sure why seeing Jennifer or Kate nude is a big deal. I have instant access to porn (Does that make you cry David Cameron?) so it's The Fappening for me everyday!



"Gamers are terrorists!!"
m.uk.ign.com/articles/2014/09/…

Gamers have been likened to Terrorists and or Nazis..... Godwin’s Law.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBzJGc…

To give the comic panel some context. I wanted to show Kotaku and websites like them the ridiculousness in what they said. Comparing people who play Mario Kart or Minecraft, to a group that has beheaded JOURNALISTS (I'm surprised they didn't get the irony there) when no gamers have done anything of the short. It's the equivalent of calling a.... Actually I can't think of a comparison, that's how stupid it is.

I may disagree with what Kotaku says, but I'll never compare them to a group that destroyed the twin towers, bombed buses, trains and beheads people. These people should be ashamed of themselves.

Yes, being likened to a Terrorist is dumb and idiotic, but if you want that kind of shit to go away, don't give them a reason to make such a bullshit conclusion. Ask questions by all means, but make that the only thing you do. That and you know, STOP GOING TO KOTAKU AND OTHER SIMILAIR WEBSITES might do the trick!



Tony Blair awarded philanthropist of the year title... WHAT??
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/artic…

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIWHMb…

Please tell me this is a joke. Please tell me life cannot be this cruel, stupid or bonkers.

Before I made David Cameron my own personal punching bag. I had a whole Motley crew of scumbags to hate. The fact I had so many unlikeable cunts in one place, I liked to compare them to the Decepticons from Transformers. John Prescott, Gordon Brown, Robin Cook, Jack Straw, David Blunkett and of course Megatron himself, former PM Tony Blair. I've actually come to miss talking about Blair cus I always enjoyed impersonating his voice and shitting on his unlikeable face.

Sticking with that Transformers analogy for a moment. That would make former president George W Bush, Unicron. Giving this scene from the 1986 movie some amusing context, regarding the Middle East and the non existent weapons of mass destruction.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RZ320…

One thing to remember, this is a man who was tried as a war criminal due to his involvement in the war in Iraq. Thousands were killed by his actions and we're now awarding monsters like this are we? Naturally people were pissed about the reveal. Leading to many remarks, such as Tory MP Ian Liddell-Grainger said "the award was a 'a slap in the face for all the damage he had done to the UK'. This is the man that could split the union, having given Scotland a parliament!"

Oh and not to mention sometime after being given this prestigious award, what is the first thing he says we should do?

BE READY TO INVADE IRAQ!!! AGAIN!!!
www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/…

Don't get me wrong, ISIS is a big deal and are horrible little men. Yet when you learn they were trained by the US Government and probably sold guns by the UK. Kinda makes you look at this whole "war" in a new light. I think we should having nothing more to do with Iraq and people like Tony Blair should be thrown in a wickerman! Cus I tell you this much, I've seen them talking about the Taliban, Al-Qaida, Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein and now ISIS, and  I have yet to see America or England be "taken over by evil and ruthless extremists"

Unless by "evil and ruthless extremists" you mean David Cameron then I'd agree with that.

Now, that may sound cold or what have you, but it's because of what happened in Iraq and because of people like Tony Blair and George W Bush, I will never trust another politician for as long as I live. I don't to see Tony Blair again on the news unless it's the announcement of his death.


Well, that's philanthropist of the year folks. A vile, lying, manipulative war criminal who wants more people to die so he'll be able to sleep at night.


Jack the Ripper finally named?
www.independent.co.uk/news/sci…

Now there's something you don't hear everyday!

One of England's greatest mysteries (besides where its spine went) was the identity of serial killer "Jack the Ripper." Turns out, according to Russell Edwards, that the killer was a Polish Jewish immigrant called Aaron Kosminski. The verdict is based around an old shawl of one of his victims. It was never washed (probably stinks a bit now) and the old rag that became something of a family
Heirloom (That's fucking weird!) until Edwards bought it to conduct tests on.

Taking a quote from the linked article.
"Mr Edwards has been able to track down living descendants of both Eddowes and Kosminski and found that their DNA sequences match DNA samples recovered from the shawl, presumably from the blood of Eddowes and the semen of Kosminski."

Now that does sound like concrete evidence to me, yet I'm not sure. I mean an old rag like that which has never been washed etc is a tad bit convient for me. It's probably the right answer in all honesty but I think I'll stick with my original verdict.

It was Colonel Mustard, with the candle stick in the Library!


AVGN: The Movie came out.....  Eventually.
And that's all I'm going to say about it. Haven't seen it, don't plan on seeing it because I said so.


Person drops a phone and J-Lo has a song about her arse.
Why is this news exactly?

Somebody drops a poxy Apple phone on the floor? Good! Drop more of the bloody things, smash em all if you ask me!!


As for J-Lo..... This is just sad. A 45 year old woman, getting all sweaty and having her arse hanging out. I counted how long I could stomach this pigshit for, and it was 38 seconds. Annoying auto tune and two middle aged women trying to appear sexy to teenage boys. With a similar song by that tone death sow Nicki Minaj begs me to ask the question. Is this what qualifies as music now?

Songs about an arse?

I thought shit like Bubble Butt from Major Laser was awful, but this is even worse. I can imagine Beyoncé as a "feminist" would do her nut in over this garbage.... Provided she is one to begin with. I'm not trying to sound like one of those "BACK IN MY DAY!!!" kinda people but folks, if you want to see middle aged women in little to no clothing, all sweaty and have their arse out. Do the right thing and just go to Porn Hub. Stop supporting this lazy, uninspiring music from has-beens like J-Lo.


How to quit in style
www.independent.co.uk/news/wei…

*standing ovation*


Scottish Independence

I was hoping to see the end of the union, so I can take the Union Jack, Great Britain, United Kingdom, The Queen and the whole thing. Shove it straight in a bin and kick it down a flight of stairs!!!! Focus on what actually makes England great instead of banging on about the past; being BRITISH and sending more people to die in the Middle East cus America said so.

But alas, 2014's track record of misery is bang on form!

Now, I have said regardless of what happened with the voting I would respect Scotland's choice. It was a vote by the people for the people. You ultimately chose NO and that's a decision you're going to have to live with. It was a choice not decided by hate figures such as David Cameron, Ed Miliband, Alex Salmond and everybody in the BNP or UKIP.

You chose this. You wanted this. So I say I hope you made the right decision. I don't think you did personally but it's not up to me.

One amusing thing to come out of this is the damage control by the No Campaign. Such as the Queen's views on Scotland staying despite trying to be neutral.
www.theguardian.com/politics/2…

However like I said, this isn't about me or what I think. This was about Scotland and they voted (possibly rigged) to stay in a dead marriage. A dead marriage of 4 countries that cannot stand the site of each other and are only together for the money... Just like most marriages today!

But when, not if, but when it goes tits up. Just remember.

You had your chance to walk away!


In conclusion: September dragged and apart of me is sad to see it go.... Oh and it was my Birthday! Yay for me!