Hello there guys n gals!!!
I haven't written here for a while and want to apologize to EVERYONE who reacted with such a kind positive response to my previous journal about the reboot.For now I spent a LOT of time on tumblr - both yoralim and raintalker. The UNDERTALE craze has griped me full force and still hasn't let go, so even after the promise of reboot I haven't been able to focus much on CATRAT at all ;__;
I know I probably shouldn't be apologizing, since all of you have been supportive (so it's like ignoring all of your patience), yet, I feel really bad whenever I can't keep a promise. So I owe you all at least that much (or those, who decided to stay). I don't know how long it will take me to continue, because..despite how it looks...I still haven't DITCHED the comic. But I can't seem to be able to focus on it properly with all the ideas for UNDERTALE rushing in constantly.
But it's also about personal life recently. I have taken in a few small jobs in animation and work as teacher at a school partially (only two days per week). It takes also part of time to work/prepare... and it hasn't been much more peaceful in other areas either. I met really extraordinary people and opened up.... it's been up and down, some very intense encounters happened and I made a ton of mistakes that took a lot of stength away.
I've been questionting my whole work in past weeks, because I dedicated my self wholeheartedly to the creation of fancomics, instead of original work. I haven't been very respectful of doujinshi policy that I found out about only now (such as...it's kind of forbidden/immoral to make a longtime running fancomic). My comics have been always long, because of my passion for the fandom....but now I question if it was right or not. I have made a ton of people happy with it, so I don't regret it per se at all. I learned a lot from all of you and gained confidence. But I do wonder if it was right from me as artist and person to mix up terms such as doujinshi artist and creator. This whole thing has backfired in a very nasty manner and I have hurt some people in the process - important people, hardworking people, unconfident people.....and in the end, also my self.
So in meantime, I'm trying to make sense of it all, think about the future and what I should be doing while my life slowly slides to "adult" area. I will be 29this year. I haven't done much original work and mostly went the "easy creator path of fancomics", even though I never looked at it that way. It was simply fun to create, but I guess in the end, the feedback from all of you was equally important to keep me going... I do wonder, was I treating my original works badly and disrespectful as well?
So for now, I'd like to close up the au that I have created for UNDERTALE, as soon as possible
... Maybe create one more story for the fandom that I had planned before. And after that, I want to decide how to handle CATRAT. I see that it suffers the same problem as all my fancomics - it DRAGS and is LONG...while it starts out very clear and fluid. I managed to close up the doujinshi at natsumi account, now it's time I finished CATRAT too, but I don't want to make it half-boiled/half-hearted just for the sake of doing it. I need to regain the spark and enthusiasm, ...but I lack it very much recently in general.
So to everyone wondering what becomes of it - I never even considered ditching
it in first place. But I can't seem to focus and devote my self to it now. It's just too much to handle at this moment but I am not saying it's impossible to continue either. If I do judge that it truly is impossible to finish it in full-length, I'll make sure to write my reasoning and give closure in another way. So take this as indefinite hiatus for CATRAT.
I'm very sorry if I raised your hopes up, only to let you down this way and then going silent for whole 3 months. I'm ashamed of my self a lot, but I hope that all the experience and intense things I went through in past months will help me to become a better artist and better person!
Thank you for sticking to me for such a long time - to everyone who read till now!
Take care and see you later!