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About Deviant Standing up again...Female/Slovakia Group :iconportalfangirls: PortalFangirls
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Now the sun is up and I'm going blind by MikaiSakura Now the sun is up and I'm going blind :iconmikaisakura:MikaiSakura 38 12 NO by MikaiSakura NO :iconmikaisakura:MikaiSakura 12 4 Crystal by MikaiSakura Crystal :iconmikaisakura:MikaiSakura 67 10 not enough by Animalice not enough :iconanimalice:Animalice 3,440 425 Undertale Collab by MikaiSakura Undertale Collab :iconmikaisakura:MikaiSakura 46 3 A storm is coming by maxyvert A storm is coming :iconmaxyvert:maxyvert 315 53 Inktober 5 by maxyvert Inktober 5 :iconmaxyvert:maxyvert 432 47 Kite by faQy Kite :iconfaqy:faQy 386 11 Exile, it takes your mind by Ia-Loves-Art Exile, it takes your mind :iconia-loves-art:Ia-Loves-Art 8 4 'It Hurts but I Won't Fight You, You Suck Anyway.' by Capricious-Spider 'It Hurts but I Won't Fight You, You Suck Anyway.' :iconcapricious-spider:Capricious-Spider 10 1 Portal 2: I've A Good Heart Albeit Insane by IndigoCode Portal 2: I've A Good Heart Albeit Insane :iconindigocode:IndigoCode 33 10 redskin by gh0stape redskin :icongh0stape:gh0stape 24 10 Gon 00 by b-snippet Gon 00 :iconb-snippet:b-snippet 334 28 Cazador by gh0stape Cazador :icongh0stape:gh0stape 23 12 [Present] About Ging by brise-fer [Present] About Ging :iconbrise-fer:brise-fer 225 30



Standing up again...

good art
traditional art
Portal game


Favourite genre of music: instrumental, rock, pop, J-pop/rock, anything with a good vibe and soul
Favourite style of art: cartoonish, anime-ish, art noveau, steampunk, cyberpunk, traditional
Operating System: Windows XP
Favourite cartoon character: WAHAAY too many :D
Personal Quote: Never stop trying, you never know when your time comes to succeed
Hello there guys n gals!!!

I haven't written here for a while and want to apologize to EVERYONE who reacted with such a kind positive response to my previous journal about the reboot.

For now I spent a LOT of time on tumblr - both yoralim and raintalker. The UNDERTALE craze has griped me full force and still hasn't let go, so even after the promise of reboot I haven't been able to focus much on CATRAT at all ;__; I know I probably shouldn't be apologizing, since all of you have been supportive (so it's like ignoring all of your patience), yet, I feel really bad whenever I can't keep a promise. So I owe you all at least that much (or those, who decided to stay). I don't know how long it will take me to continue, because..despite how it looks...I still haven't DITCHED the comic. But I can't seem to be able to focus on it properly with all the ideas for UNDERTALE rushing in constantly.

But it's also about personal life recently. I have taken in a few small jobs in animation and work as teacher at a school partially (only two days per week). It takes also part of time to work/prepare... and it hasn't been much more peaceful in other areas either. I met really extraordinary people and opened up.... it's been up and down, some very intense encounters happened and I made a ton of mistakes that took a lot of stength away.

I've been questionting my whole work in past weeks, because I dedicated my self wholeheartedly to the creation of fancomics, instead of original work. I haven't been very respectful of doujinshi policy that I found out about only now (such's kind of forbidden/immoral to make a longtime running fancomic). My comics have been always long, because of my passion for the fandom....but now I question if it was right or not. I have made a ton of people happy with it, so I don't regret it per se at all. I learned a lot from all of you and gained confidence. But I do wonder if it was right from me as artist and person to mix up terms such as doujinshi artist and creator. This whole thing has backfired in a very nasty manner and I have hurt some people in the process - important people, hardworking people, unconfident people.....and in the end, also my self.

So in meantime, I'm trying to make sense of it all, think about the future and what I should be doing while my life slowly slides to "adult" area. I will be 29this year. I haven't done much original work and mostly went the "easy creator path of fancomics", even though I never looked at it that way. It was simply fun to create, but I guess in the end, the feedback from all of you was equally important to keep me going... I do wonder, was I treating my original works badly and disrespectful as well?

So for now, I'd like to close up the au that I have created for UNDERTALE, as soon as possible... Maybe create one more story for the fandom that I had planned before. And after that, I want to decide how to handle CATRAT. I see that it suffers the same problem as all my fancomics - it DRAGS and is LONG...while it starts out very clear and fluid. I managed to close up the doujinshi at natsumi account, now it's time I finished CATRAT too, but I don't want to make it half-boiled/half-hearted just for the sake of doing it. I need to regain the spark and enthusiasm, ...but I lack it very much recently in general.

So to everyone wondering what becomes of it - I never even considered ditching it in first place. But I can't seem to focus and devote my self to it now. It's just too much to handle at this moment but I am not saying it's impossible to continue either. If I do judge that it truly is impossible to finish it in full-length, I'll make sure to write my reasoning and give closure in another way. So take this as indefinite hiatus for CATRAT.

I'm very sorry if I raised your hopes up, only to let you down this way and then going silent for whole 3 months. I'm ashamed of my self a lot, but I hope that all the experience and intense things I went through in past months will help me to become a better artist and better person!

Thank you for sticking to me for such a long time - to everyone who read till now! :hug: :heart:

Take care and see you later!


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BaklavaLove Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
 Girl, I'm about to revive my tumblr so I can follow you again (assuming you're more active on there). I would LOVE to see some of your Undertale fanart posted here, too. >,< I mean, I love CATRAT, but that's definitely not the only reason I followed you.

I just wanna see your art again in general <3 Lovely Shoujo (Pretty Please) [V3] 
Thekatlady123 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2017
Your art is absolutely beautiful, continue drawing :)
xTreefin Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
a long while ago, when we did an art trade, I promised much more art from my end. Now that I'm a bit more confident in my ability to draw, expect some fan art (an stuff along those lines) soon~

and also, congratulations on finishing Balloon Girl! Is it weird that I'm extremely proud of you...? Like, I haven't actually met you... outside of our art trade well I suppose that's just what happens when someone you look up to has accomplished something wonderful...oh goodness I really hope I'm not sounding like a total creeper right now (((( ;°Д°)))) 
raintalker Featured By Owner May 21, 2015
TT/////////TT Girl, thank you for all the love and kindness!! :hug:
You seem like a pretty cute, honest and awesome person, so no creepiness in that to me ;D I am a shy person so I might look like a big mouth on the net while being actually pretty introvert-esque. So knowing me on the internet is like knowink a side to me that I mostly don't show irl... Not many friends know about this DA site, so you actually know much more details about me than most people - in a way (because art says a lot and sometimes I am able to say some things only through pictures).
Don't feel pressured to draw, I also still haven't finished your giftart (still needs grey shades) so look forward to that. Take care and I am happy you like my art!
xTreefin Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
(≧∇≦*) T...Thank you! And I'm kind of the same way (though not a lot of my art has any meaning... its just stuff... I envy you for your creative mind!) And  Ifeel truly honored to be able to talk to you and stuff. Seriously, your art is something that can make bad days into happy ones.

0-0 art?!??! I kind of just fell out of my chair oh my goodness gravy thank you so much!!! I mean wow! Just... I have no words! Thank you so much!!!
Jaywing47 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on finishing Balloon Girl! :D I've been a big fan of your art for a long time, and finally hearing the news that your project is complete just gives me warm fuzzy feelings. Even though I've never really talked to you, I'm really proud of your progress as an artist. ^^ Congrats!
raintalker Featured By Owner May 21, 2015
:heart: That's sweet, thank you very much!!! ;//////; Seriously, thank you! I wish you the best of luck in whatever you want to accomplish!!
epictoothpaste Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Do you know of any good protel (portal) fanfictions?
raintalker Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015
Not recently, but if you have a tumblr account I am sure you'd find many helpful links there in the appropriate tag :) Out of the fire was amazing but didn't get nowhere near the actual conclusion....I think it's been deleted since. I stopped reading FF from that point on.
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