Listening to: I
Mm. I know I've never been any kind of star on DA... I couldn't even impress myself with my gallery, and my the deviation that gets the most attention is a horrific little piece of request "fanart" that modestly resembles Link.
Still, I could usually post something and have a few good friends drop a comment to let me know I still existed.
I started to wonder, then, why it is I so little traffic comes my way these days? And came to a realization.
I've never had fans. Just friends. People I was on good personal terms with. And, as it happens, most of my friends have moved on. Many are still here, and a few still have something to say, but most are busy with their own lives and such.
And that's perfectly ok. Because that's life. People come and go, and the fact that more have gone than have showed up is only my fault. I haven't commented, faved, or in any way interacted with most of you for a good long time, because my life has changed as well and I've been a good deal busier in the real world than when I started here so long ago.
I haven't looked at new peoples' galleries and told them how much I liked them. I haven't faved a single thing this year. I haven't really made myself known to anybody, or formed any kind of bond with anyone.
And I don't regret it. I appreciate art as much as the next person, but it just isn't really my hobby. I don't really care that much anymore. I mean, I love to create... I long for it, even, but I don't much care how much skill another person creates with.
It bugs the hell out of me that just when I've finally managed to create something almost worthwile, I've faded into nothingness, but I made the choice not to be a member of this community anymore a long time ago, whether I did so consciously or not.
So, I'm finally following through with it, I guess. I'm out of here.
If any good friends are still around, the last thing I want to do is lose contact with you, so AIM me, add me on Facebook, whatever.
As for Deviantart... Well, it's been a fun ride, to whatever degree, joining to get closer to a girl I liked, using the journals to vent my silly, angsty, borderline suicidal, schizophrenic feelings throughout highschool, setting everything moderately important in writing and making everything unimportant seem worth writing about...
And of course, the "art..."
My crappy sprite comic I made as an excuse to be here, which is still probably the best thing in my gallery...
My attempts at drawing by hand, resulting in a bunch of androgynous turtle-nosed whatevers, accompanied by deep personal feelings of religious conflict...
My period of having absolutely no idea how to express anything, but trying anyway...
And the 3D, which, despite not living up to the visual quality of all the bryce, poser, etc. etc. art, I have always been incredibly proud of.
And the one idea I ever took from start to finish and made into -something-, Blue Complex, which has been downloaded a total of 17 times, 7 of which were the result of spam on 4chan.
Anyway, thanks for the memories.
Now, it's time I broke away from this and started validating my own life for once.