I remember the sky
Wider than my hands
Bluer than mama's little blue box
That she said daddy got her
I remember the sun
Heavy on my back
I remember racing after it
Trying to get high enough to catch it
And bring it home to momma
Maybe she would stop crying
I remember the flowers
That were invading the house
In all kinds of vases
And I remember running around the house
Trying to count the types
While momma greeted the people with food
I remember grandma staying with us
Her room smelling like lavender
And grandpa taking us out of the house
So mama can talk to the people from the home,
I remember getting a brand new dress
But being mad at the color
Why couldn't I wear the sparkly pink one?
Momma told me just to wear the black one
Because it's respectful, she said
I remember the silence
The house was always filled with silence
Silence and crying
And I hated them both
I remember the pitied looks
That seemed to follow me
Wherever I was
I would stick my tongue out
At the nosy folks
And the people would just shake their heads
"It's a darn shame"
I think that's what they said
I remember the rain
And someone saying
That it always rained on days like that
And I remember asking momma
What kind of days they were talking about?
She couldn't even open her mouth to tell me
I remember the limo ride
I remember gushing about how cool it was
I remember practically bouncing off the walls
Macie right there with me, but not as hyped
Not knowing why the other people in the car
Weren't that happy
I remember faces
As if people were constantly in pain
And I leaned over and asked Macie
Why were all of these people sad
Someone shushed me
Macie was a good girl and stayed
Grandpa leaned over to me
Because he was always there for me
And squeezed my hand that wasn't in Momma'a
"They're sad because they loved your daddy"
I remember asking questions
So many unanswerable questions
Like so many little kids do
Why is mama wearing a black veil
Covering her sky blue eyes?
Why is Mister Priest here today?
Why are we out where we laid Grand-mére?
Why was it so... sad feeling?
Why is papa lying there
With his eyes closed?
And why are they lowering my daddy
Into the ground?