"Way back when, when the Itonama were still known of, something happened. The profluent cornice of Mt. Pinikee disappeared. In fact, the whole mountain vanished, and it is said that the reason was an earthquake.
"Those who say that, however, lie, or at very least are sadly mistaken. The real cause was an outburst of London Mongoose Disease, which caused the flying potties to veer off from their normal migratory course and collide with said mountain, demolishing it.
"The inquisitors of Phynomia, when they discovered such from a puce fairy previously living in a lilac bush, applied a very odd indirect syllogism and decided that cheese is good. The got no further, because that afternoon, a participant in a photo finish race went back in time and killed them all with nerve gas."
The innkeeper sighed and took a deep drought of the noxious liquor in his tankard as the elf sitting across from him blankly put his jaw back on. "See?" &