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therapy art for myself.

when i was a wee nugget, i had those dreams that kids often do, before they’re old enough to be more realistic about their futures… about wanting to be something great when they grew up. i wanted to be a bird; i wanted to be a plane; i wanted to be a cat.

and i wanted to be a star. like the sun. so i could watch down over everything. i could see everything. i could watch history be made over the span of millions and millions of years and millions and millions of miles across the universe.

but that’s not gonna happen. so i have this crippling problem with mortality. and i have this glazed over view of reality, like i’m still part of it? but also closed off. not quite alive. but not dead either. yet. it’s agonizing~

part of me wants to think that when the last of this life burns out, i’ll finally become a star. space dust returning to space dust [plus gaseous fumes, huhuhu]. if i think hard enough about it, maybe it’ll comfort me. and one day i’ll be okay with death. but for now.

shit. oops language

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© 2019 - 2021 Rafleshia
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Rafleshia's avatar
e-xtinct's avatar
amazing portrayal of your feelings. also same
Rafleshia's avatar
Ammotu's avatar
I think this looks incredible :)  The glows and the lighting is really fantastic!

I also want to say, I do think you are a sun in your own way.  You are one of the most creative characters designers I've ever seen, your work is always so unique.  When you share your art, you are sharing your light with everyone.  Illuminating the awesome worlds you design.  I know it's hard to work on things sometimes, especially when you don't feel appreciated, but I can promise you, you absolutely shine!
Rafleshia's avatar
dang i wasn't expecting a feel good on here. thank you so much, for all the things you said. having somebody think i'm actually unique and creative... oof my heart muscle.
TT ^TT
Busiris's avatar
Mmm existential dread. I think everything here is infinitely relatable. And it's mighty pretty looking too. :heart:
Rafleshia's avatar
all the work and excitement i had for once in a while thrown into this, and only one fave here, too. i hate the "popular timezones to post or you fail" thing. damn 80hd society 
crying laughing thinking emoji 
oh well, back to adulting and existential dreading lol.

take it easy, though~
Busiris's avatar
Oh I hope you don't let favs and views dictate the worth of your art! That's a hard life to live.
Rafleshia's avatar
sometimes i do and sometimes i don't. it really depends on how personal something is or...or something. it's sort of a case by case basis, basically. although i know by now that fanart and smut is ever only really gonna reign over all forever lmao.
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