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RB'sB: GOLF CART THEFT. BINGO FRAUD. TELLING JOKES THAT JUST GO ON AND ON, I MEAN, I HAVE THINGS TO DO TODAY, REALLY. And there you go!

Wow. That list was so long I actually had time to write this next part.

Number 4/Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons


That's right, I use the Oxford comma! We've had a lot of fun here folks when it comes to GF goodness. This show is known for its scares, its mysteries, its heart tuggers, and shocking discoveries. But at the end of the day, it's still a cartoon. And like any cartoon, it knows how to have a sense of humor. These senses aren't always good per say, but in Gravity Falls' case it is great.

Case in point D, D, and More D. God that sounds weird typing out. We start with what appears to be an average day for the Pines family, but then Ford comes out with an alien. Oh yeah, if you thought GF was gonna pull a Steven Universe and completely forget about some crazy event the next episode after then you'd be wrong. For you see, GF has this neat little thing called pacing. It tends to come with cartoons that have much clearer goals in mind as well as a LOT less episodes. 

P.S. I'm only harsh towards SU because I love it. The recent arc was astounding, so let's not get our knickers in a twist.

Stan is noticeably getting peeved by his brother's antics, but not yet to the point of running for mayor. Hell, we even see the mayor make an appearance in this episode. The moment was funny, but I kind of felt like I was time travelling.


Ooohhh, so that's how you spell it.

Dipper obviously wants to hang out with Ford considering he spent nearly the entire summer trying to figure out if he even existed, but Ford doesn't want to risk anyone else falling down his path. Dipper also has trouble trying to find someone to play a DnD style game, and oh yeah, GF totally went there! DnD, even though I've never played it, is one of my favorite parody topics when it comes to fiction. Other shows like Community and Regular Show handle it with such respect and humor, and Gravity Falls is no exception to this principle.

However, no one wishes to play with Dipper and deems the game too nerdy, even Soos who essentially LARPs most days. Oh wait, my bad. FCLORP (Foam and Cardboard Legitimate Outdoor Role Play). But after stumbling into Ford's lab, he finds out that Ford is just as into the game as himself. 

Let it be known that I adore this show's handling of Grunkle Ford. He's the character this show has been building up to for years, so he most surely be this all knowing and devoid of imperfection type of guy right? Nope! This guy may have brought a level of seriousness and stakes to the show, much like Washington from Red vs Blue, but he can get just as geeky and passionate about little things as Dipper. Their common interest in a simple game is what ultimately leads to their compelling mentor-student relationship.

They even have conversations about the history of the game itself, including any IP's greatest weakness, the 90's! 


Remember Yo Yogi?

Honestly, the only mascot I can think of that manged to not talk down to kids in this way is Smokey.



Take some f***ing notes all you Hollywood hacks out there who keep thinking that this is a good idea!!!!

One of my personal favorite scenes from this episode is when Dipper is planning out his next session with Ford, and Mabel realizes that she may have gone a little far with making fun of him.

Mabel: You're uh, spending a lot of time with old Fordsy lately, huh?

Dipper: You have no idea. I knew the author must be cool, but he's better than I imagined. And, he doesn't make fun of me all the time, like you and Grunkle Stan do.

Mabel: Give 'im time, haha! Heyooo! (Pause) Nah, you got me. (Lays down; to herself:) You got me. 

The dialogue and Schaal's delivery prove that Mabel clearly isn't as selfish as we make her out to be. Heck, she even shows a little empathy here. The next day Stan, Mabel, and Grenda (though for some reason not Candy, odd), get ready to watch a not-so-subtle take on their own show called Duck-Tective. And you guys thought Crying Breakfast Friends was cringey. Though to be fair, it is still a very funny take on how outsiders look at shows compared to fans.

Ford: Hey, at least I'm not all keyed up to watch a kid's show.

Stan: I'll have you know that Duck-tective has a big mystery element! And a lot of humor that goes over kids' heads!

Grenda: I don't get a lot of it, but I like animals in human situations.

But then an inciting incident occurs. You see, earlier in the episode Ford revealed to Dipper that he possessed an item called the infinity-sided die. It's a die that, when rolled, can lead to infinite possibilities. This can range from having your face melted off, the planet turning into an egg, season 8 of MLP improving, or even season 6 of Teen Titans coming back.

RB'sB: You had me for a minute but you kind of lost me towards the end there.

What's important is that it's too dangerous to roll, and when the family gets into a scuffle, the die falls out (though I'm not sure why Ford brought it with him) and lands on a side that brings the characters from the game to life. The usual affair.

Probabilitor: Mortals of dimension 46'\, kneel before me and (rolls dice) snivel! I am Probabilitor! The greatest wizard in all of mathology! Give or take an error of 0.4.

Look, I'm a simple man. I hear Weird AL Yankovik's voice, I tend to say instant classic. Unless you're Adventure Time, Star vs the Forces of Evil, Teen Titans Go, Mr. Pickles, Pig Goat Banana Cricket, The High Fructose Adventures of-

RB'sB: All right we get it! Dude's as careful with choosing his roles as Tom Kenny! Let's move on!

Sorry. Anyway, he kidnaps Dipper and Ford in order to eat their brains and become smarter. Sure. This leads to Stan begrudgingly agreeing to save his brother. Hey now, that may be a little messed up, but I see where he's coming from. Dude's spent years trying to save his brother only to be greeted with a punch to the face. Despite that, they gear up and head out, meeting plenty of great references along the way.


"Hey! Look! Listen!"

Now if only we could get Stan to kill Fi. Anyway, once they arrive, the only way to win back their family is by playing, you guessed it, Dungeon, Dungeons, and More Dungeons. You know what, I think I'll stick with writing the initials. The battle is funny, the visuals are creative, Weird Al kills as Probabilitor, and we get some of that sweet Chekhov's Gun goodness this show rocks at.


Something told me that this gum would come into play later.

The episode even ends with the family getting disappointed by Duck-tective's big twin brother twist. Funny how Gravity Falls did this stupid trope flawlessly while other media like Despicable Me 3 just look like fan fics. Hey, that'd make a good comparison! Also, anyone else confused why the characters all got sent back to the game except for the Gryphon?

Number 3/Into the Bunker

Even though it may not seem like, Into the Bunker is, in my opinion, one of the most important episodes of the show, and probably the most important episode in terms of Dipper's development. And when this episode started with Dipper and Wendy watching a hilariously bad zombie movie together, I was wondering to myself if this show was actually going to go there. Of course that doesn't stop them from going here first.

Wendy: Dude, you're laying on my bra.

This is a kid's show right? Anyway, while Stan is going about usual con man ways, Dipper gathers up the mystery group to start exploring those new secrets from the journal. Once Wendy arrives and Dipper acts weird, Mabel takes notice and even applies her skepticals. When I first watched this episode, I found Mabel to be ridiculously annoying. The way she's butting into Dipper's personal issues and refusing to let go of it was starting to get borderline obnoxious. But looking back, I now realize how important Mabel's role is here. Not only is she being a considerate sibling with trying to help Dipper, albeit in her own strange way, but she knows perfectly well how unhealthy it is to bottle up your emotions until the day you die. It's better to get those feelings out than being forced to imagine what if.

Wendy shows off some of her bad a**-itude and leads them into one of the coolest looking shots from this season.


I mean just look at those expressions of intrigue and the way the stairs move with the camera.

And if that's not enough, we also get an intense action scene right after where the walls start closing in on the cast. The feeling of claustrophobia and fear of getting crushed makes this scene so strong and at times hard to watch. It even feels like you're right there with them. Now I know how the Terminator must've felt.

Thankfully, Dipper was able to use the journal and his quick wits in order to help them escape. But even though they escaped that room, Dipper is still trapped by a force much greater than moving walls. The weight of insecurity towards his feelings for Wendy! The kind of weight that can you drag you down and prevent you from holding normal conversations with a person because you're so scared something might slip out. So Mabel sees her opportunity to free her brother by... trapping him in a locker.

RB'sB: We are supposed to like Mabel right?

It's going somewhere. Because it's more than just a locker, but also an entrance to an underground shelter and research facility. Besides, all Dipper had to do was tell Wendy his feelings, but keeping his feelings a secret was literally more important to him than getting away from terrifying monster. And people call Mabel the crazy one.

Luckily, the monster gets scared away by... the author of the journals? This early into the season? Who is voiced by Mark Hamill, a man well known for voicing super creepy villains? Allow me to apply my skepticals. Mabel and Soos even begin to realize that something is up when they read up about a shapeshifter that escaped one of the pods. And then we get a dialogue exchange that I find rather underrated.

Mabel: (Gasps) I thought he was just joking!

Soos: YOU KNOW DIPPER'S JOKES ARE TERRIBLE!

While "the author" is looking through the journal, Wendy finds a bean can with a picture that looks exactly like "the author," and I love how the music in this scene adds to the creep factor in play. In fact, a lot of this show's music feels huge,varied, and matches the scene's tone perfectly. That's what you call brownie points! The four meet back up and discuss a plan to "destroy" the monster.

RB'sB: Can cartoons seriously not say death still?

I guess it just depends on how intense a show is. And this show in particular already pushes the censor bar quite a bit.



So I can understand why they'd need to pull back in some places.

But wait a minute, this is an episode with a shapeshifter. Surely we're gonna have a "Which one do I shoot?" scene right? Yes indeed! And would you look at that? Chekhov's Gun is looking mighty strong today. 


She does this a lot actually.

The monster is detained, and it actually stays true to its word when it says, "This is the last form you'll ever take." In Northwest Mansion Mystery, he looks exactly like that when he gets turned to wood.

RB'sB: That episode isn't on your list is it?

Nope.

RB'sB: And yet Stanchurian Candidate is?

Uh huh.

RB'sB: Why do you make life so much harder for yourself?

But none of what happened earlier matters, because this is the scene that really matters. Dipper finally discussing his feelings with Wendy. Not only does it feel so freaking good to see him finally being honest with her and himself, but the way Wendy herself handles it is a great combination of maturity, tact, and sympathy. Sometimes relationships just can't work out, and it is incredibly important for both parties to be able to acknowledge. Even more admirable is the ability for both parties to remain friends in the end, accepting their differences and staying true to each other by not dancing around the issue and pretending its simply cute. Other cartoon characters need to take note of this!

RB'sB: Gee, I wonder who you could be talking about.

That's right. April O'Neil from TMNT 2012.

RB'sB: Oh, I thought that.... never mind. You're doing great buddy.

After a scene that couldn't have gone off better, Soos reveals an old computer that he found. Oh wow! I wonder what secrets it's going to hold!

*We never find out. It just gets destroyed by Bill Cipher.*



Well, I'm sure we'll at least get plenty more episodes with Wendy being awesome now that everything is resolved between her and Dipper right?

*No. In fact, she gets no more development afterwards.*



Number 2/Not What He Seems

And what would a Gravity Falls list be without one of the most talked about and celebrated achievements of the entire show? Probably a season 1 only list. *cough* plug-in *cough*

This episode begins with another round of Stan hard at work on his secret project, and he's apparently closer than ever. So close in fact, we actually get something that this show has been sorely lacking, something to actually do with gravity and falling! Throughout this episode, we get what is deemed as gravity anomalies throughout. I absolutely adore this plot point because of how well crafted and inspired it looks. It even eventually leads to some of this show's most exciting set pieces.

Also, I have a little fan theory that in this opening scene, the very first anomaly has actually been shown to us in every episode. Remember how Dipper and Mabel would float in the air near the end of the theme? I believe, with good reason, that this actually does happen to them at this moment, just off screen. It would certainly make sense, and it wouldn't even be the strangest thing to have happened to them.

After finding a stash of illegal fireworks, the Pines do a little bonding together, and much like the nighttime prairie scene from The Lion King, it's pretty easy to guess that this is simply the calm before the storm when it comes to positive times. Except in this case, we get a reality check almost immediately when the government swoops in to arrest Stan for the theft of some illegal toxins. I love how he reacts here.

Stan: Aah! I don't understand! What did I do that warrants this much arresting?

I've certainly been arrested before, but never to this degree! This is a very important part of the drama in fact. It's no secret that Stan has had a less than spotless past. So the idea of his past finally coming back to bite him in the butt isn't out of the question. Because of this, I was right there with Dipper and Mabel. Like, Dipper,my faith in Stan was put to the test, and it was very easy to assume the worst. And like Mabel, I wanted to deny it and pretend like everything was normal. I mean, this is Grunkle Stan we're talking about, one of the most well written and fun curmudgeons in animation. He couldn't be a bad guy... could he?

Even as an audience member who has a better idea of the big picture than most of the characters I was unsure of what to think. True, we actually know what Stan has been up to, but what exactly is his end game? Every time he talks to himself, he mentions how this is it, and everything is coming together and will never be the same. And to this show's credit, it makes sense that he wouldn't just outright say his plans out loud. 1, they're already kind of pushing it with the amount of things he says alone to himself, though that can be chalked up to solitude, and 2, what human being talks like that?

One of the biggest problems with visual media today is that it forgets that it's, well, visual! The best stories know how to take their time and let you actually experience the story as opposed to just dumping it all on top of you at once. Gravity Falls has been performing an impressive juggling act for about 2 years now when it comes to doling out the necessary details while at the same time painting a beautiful story for us that unfolds right in front of our eyes. Seeing the way Dipper and Mabel react throughout this episode, the aura of urgency that constantly surrounds Stan, the dark and chilling atmosphere, the somber and mysterious colors coming off the sunset that let us know that the end of an era is coming all come together perfectly to treat us with one of the most visually poignant and mature as Hell episodes for the entire show.

When Dipper and Mabel escape the government car and find out about Stan's multiple fake identities, it feels like a punch to the heart and gut. Stan Pines.... might not even be Stan Pines. It's insane. It's ludicrous. But what else could it possibly be? The correct answer, may not be as obvious as you think.

Remember when I said the gravity leads to some incredible set pieces? Well, you know I have to talk about the interrogation room scene for at least a little bit! Thanks to Robobuddies-

RB'sB: Aren't you forgetting something about her?



Welcome to RaccoonBroVA's channel, where we leave any and all drama at the front door! Make sure to wipe your feet of any controversial tweets while you're at it. In her video about Steven Universe, one lesson I will always carry with me is what it takes to make a really good fight scene. Elements like weight, character, and composition are all important, but what shines the most in this particular scene is the environment. The animators, even it's just for a little bit, are no longer limited by freaking gravity. Of course this scene is gonna look awesome!

As killer as that scene was though, the real climax is afoot. Dipper and Mabel, along with Soos, finally find Stan's secret lab. In this scene, we get arguably some of the best voice acting from the entire decade. Words can't describe the emotions that all these characters go through in finding out the truth about their once unimpeachable great uncle. Thanks to a cipher from the 3 journals, they figure out that he's been  working on some kind of doomsday device. But right before they can properly shut it down, Stan arrives just in time to make his final pleads. And before I say anything else, I think this image says much more than I ever could about the definition of faith.


Is this iconic? I feel like it should be iconic.

This image is as universal in my opinion as Pen Pineapple Apple Pen. Anyone, from anywhere will understand the meaning and importance of it.

RB'sB: You're really comparing an episode of Gravity Falls to PPAP?

Hey man, don't underestimate that song's power.



Oh yeah, and it turns out Stan has a twin brother who was the author. Pretty neat stuff right? Not exactly a surprise these days, which is why I don't consider it a spoiler, but that certainly doesn't rob this scene of the importance it holds on the series to this day.

But hey, was your favorite episode not mentioned yet? Well then, here are some honorable mentions!

Society of the Blind Eye - Old Man McGucket has no right to be this sympathetic.

Sock Opera - Bill possesses Dipper, and Mabel finally makes a sacrifice.

Tale of Two Stans - A perfect continuation to one of the biggest cartoon reveals ever.

Little Gift Shop of Horrors - Yep. This is the episode that kicked off Northwest Mansion Mystery. I have no regrets. This episode is simply funny.

Worst Episode/The Love God

There were a couple of episodes I could've chosen form this season. The Last Mablecorn had a super jerky antagonist, and Roadside Attraction felt more like a detour. But those two  episodes don't hold a candle to the confused morals and lessons we're given here on the concept of love.

As I'm sure you all know, I am asexual. But one subject I've been a little confused towards is romance. After all, you don't have to be sexually attracted to someone to be in love with them. But even though I have skewed perception of romance, I feel like with most plot threads I'm pretty adept at detecting bull s*** being shown before me.

To be fair, romance is one of the toughest things to write. It's a juggling act in terms of realism, chemistry, and how much we as an audience want to see the two people be together.

However, I think we can all agree that literally using a love potion to make our wildest ships come true with any regard for the desires of the individuals being affected is a pretty scummy and horrendous practice no matter what. And to really put things into perspective, imagine if Hearts and Hooves Day or The Shippening ended with the same way as this one, where our characters decide it's best to just leave the two victims the way they are simply because they're "happy". I don't care how happy they look because none of it is real. It's all a delusion, and it's honestly kind of f***ed up.

If I were to choose what the worst episode of he whole show was between this one and Boyz Crazy, I'd probably go for The Love God. Simply because the latter, while very frustrating, is relatively harmless. this episode on the other hand is quite honestly destructive to show to kids.

The only reason I don't consider this episode an atrocity is because, much like Boyz Crazy, Stan was a blast to watch. Frankly, even more so here. I guess this episode is the show's version of Not All Dogs go to Heaven. Bad and destructive A plot, wonderful enough that it should've been its own episode B plot.

And the number 1 episode of the whole show is...... honestly better off having its own review. See ya then! (and yes, it's exactly what you think it is)


  • Listening to: Game Grumps
  • Reading: Deathly Hallows
  • Watching: Gravity Falls
  • Playing: Skyward Sword
  • Eating: Lasagna
  • Drinking: Milk
Remember when I said I was definitely gonna do a sequel marathon to my last Top 8 lists? Well, much like Butch Hartman's reputation, that dream died in pretty epic proportions.

I mean, let's face it, forcing myself to only work on Top 8 lists for the entire Summer was a pretty bad idea. I'm just thankful the lists turned out half as decent as they were. Although I do feel like they kept getting better the more I went on. So naturally, my Gravity Falls list was probably the worst.

It wasn't super detailed, some entries felt shorter than others, and I kind of blatantly left off some critically acclaimed episodes for no good reason. It's really a shame too, because Gravity Falls is one of my favorite cartoons ever.

Even after being finished for more than two years now, GF manages to remain as fondly remembered as the day it premiered. And with beautiful animation, mysterious vibes, lovable characters, excellent comedy, and some of the greatest mysteries and twists in TV history... *deep breath*.... it's no wonder that people continue to reference and rave about Gravity Falls still.

This show may not be my all time favorite, but it's most likely somewhere in the top 10, if not 5. But that's a list for another day (and boy will that day be flaming). Right now, it's time for a much more small scale list. My favorite episodes from the second season!

Let's go over some rules since it has been a long time since I've done one of these lists.

1. Yes, I'm just doing 8. But there will be plenty of honorable mentions. I'll limit myself to four this time.

2. Each entry will be like mini reviews of the episodes, which means I'll be going over their plots along with all the things I like about it. So be sure to watch the episodes first.

3. I'll be doing a worst episode of the season right before he number one as well just to spice things up.

4. Don't take the order of these lists too seriously. They're honestly subject to change and for the most part kind of arbitrary. But they do hold certain merits nevertheless.

5. I'm gonna see if I can do ten words or less reviews at the end of each episode as a little self imposed challenge.

and 6. Mabel was totally justified in the finale. Let's go!


Number 8/Scary-oke


Oh wow, would you look at that? Keeping in tradition with the first GF journal by starting with the first episode of the season. Coincidence?

RB'sB: Probably not.

Meh, it's still worth talking about. We start with Grunkle Stan using the journal that Dipper used in the first season to continue his work on his secret project. he sounds so impassioned about his work, and when you know what he's really working towards, it puts a lot of his efforts into perspective. And let's not forget the little hints.



A six fingered glove?! How did I not notice that the first time I watched this episode?

Stan: Thirty long years and it's all let up to this. My greatest achievement! (Pauses and looks down) Probably should've worn pants. 

Haha, oh man. It has been way too long since I've gotten a dose of GF humor. There's just something so special about it that makes it immediately identifiable. if you hear this joke from an outside perspective, Gravity Falls would be the first show you think about.

After a whole night of work, Stan puts on his showman face and gets ready for the reopening of the Mystery Shack. It feels great to see the town completely on Stan's side for once in the way they boo Gideon.

Stan: 
Please, please... boo harder!

I also appreciate how Stan acknowledges the fact that Dipper and Mabel are mostly to thank for his return to grace. It's moments like these that make you root for the jerk with a heart of gold by showing that he does, in fact, have a heart of gold instead of something like cement.

Stan: 
Your camera's a cinder block, Toby.


"I just wanna be part of things."

Anyone else notice how Kari Wahlgren tends to be typecast as the news reporter? An odd regular role to play, but she might as well keep doing what she's good at.

Stan announces an after party for the Mystery Shack which leads to Mabel announcing the name of their family band Love Patrol Alpha. Dipper and Stan may be disgusted, but I listen to bands called Ninja Sex Party, so I'm kind of used to crazy names at this point.

While Dipper discusses the importance of his investigations with Mabel, a government car shows up outside, which I'm sure is one of Stan's greatest nightmares. So he shuts down the gift shop, which is even more unsettling due to how out of character it is. It's kind of like seeing Maud Pie smile. You know something crazy is about to go down.

We get two agent characters, one voiced by Nick Offerman, checking by the shack to say that they've heard reports of strange occurrences going on in the town. Stan obviously denies this, but Dipper on the other hand is thrilled to finally have the chance to discuss his findings with people who could actually help. However, Stan swoops in to debunk Dipper's claims and sees the two agents off.

Once again, I find Stan's character to be very well designed. You see, most of the time with these kinds of scenes, it's pretty obvious that the denier knows exactly whats going on, which either leads to the other character getting suspicious or just looking like a total idiot for not noticing the obvious. However, even though we know Stan is bull s***ting Dipper, everything he says and does in this scene is completely in character for him. He's a con artist after all, so it makes sense that he'd be able to pull this act off. And since he's a con artist, it's not out of the realm of possibility for an outsider to buy that he doesn't believe in any of the stuff he sells to fools on the daily, including the supernatural.

Hell, even Mabel wants to think about other stuff.

Mabel: We're throwing a party tonight! Can't you go one night without searching for aliens or raising the dead or whatever?

Oh hey, another line showing off how well designed and written every episode of this show is. We'll see why later. Anyway, it's the party, and we get reintroduced to a bunch of side characters we haven't seen in a while (which for me is freaking two years). Meanwhile, Dipper vents in front of Wendy about not being able to do anything about his findings. So she helps grab the card with the agents' number that Stan confiscated earlier. Now, you could ask why Stan didn't just throw away the card or better yet destroy it, but come on. Who cares? We've got Thompson without his shirt.


And this joke is actually important later. No stone unturned!!!

Despite being caught by Stan, Dipper meets up with the agents anyway to show them the book. However, they don't believe him since it just looks like another one of Stan's products. As any logical person would do in a situation like this, Dipper f***ing raises the dead in a last ditch effort! Yeah, this episode kind of escalates quickly, but it's nothing too wild for a show like this. As for Dipper, I understand why he did it. He's a mystery solver, and he's been working on this case almost all Summer. Now that he finally has a chance to solve it, he'll do whatever it takes to get these guys to take him seriously. And yeah, raising the dead is kind of a game changer!

Unfortunately, the spell didn't come with a quantity check, so there ends being a zombie invasion as opposed to a demonstration. It was only a matter of time really until this show did a zombie episode. Zombies are some of the most popular monsters right now, and this was hinted at as early as the first episode, so I say why not zombies?! Probably because they'll ruin the party and turn one of the show's beloved characters into a zombie as well. Also, call back!

Mabel:

Dipper, what's the one thing I asked you not to do tonight?

Dipper: (Sounding ashamed:) Raise the dead.

Mabel: And what did you do?

Dipper: (Sounding ashamed:) Raise the dead.

You see? That's why it's so important to pay attention to every line of dialogue in the show, because Mabel actually said this! This might be one of the longest set ups for a pay off I've ever seen, and it's absolutely worth it! Plus I've enjoyed much longer set ups.



It turns out the animators are great at zombie designs, and this whole scene looks excellent. We also get great tension relievers in the form of Zombie Soos. Or Zoos if you will. 

Soos: Dudes, stay calm. I've been training for this moment my whole life. With all the horror movies I've seen, I literally know all there is to know about to avoid zombies. A zombie bites Soos, and he becomes a zombie. Second thought, gonna flip the script. Can I, eat your brains? Yea or Nay? Seeing some Yea faces over here.

I think a self aware zombie is one of the greatest ideas for a joke I've ever seen. Everything Zoos says is hysterical. Despite being a zombie, he somehow managed to stay totally in character, aside from wanting to eat his friends' brains.

But Zoos isn't the only great thing about this scene. Stan comes in to save the day and shows off his bad a** fighting skills, much to Dipper and Mabel's amazement. Luckily they manage to keep him in character here without feeling too over powered. He is a senior citizen after all.

Stan: Oh! Ow. Everything hurts.

He finally admits that he's always known what's been going on in this city and just wanted to keep Dipper away from danger. Luckily thanks to some of Mabel's party lights, it turns out that after all this time, nearly half of the book has been written in invisible ink, including the zombies' weaknesses... a three part harmony! Bro, you see these stones right here?

RB'sB: Yeah, what about 'em?

They're all covered in dirt because those sides have been in the dirt so long. Which meeeeeeaaaaaaannnnnsssss-

RB'sB: None of them are untur-?

NOT ONE FREAKING STONE!!!!! This leads to a karaoke song that's as awesome as it sounds that saves the day. The family makes up, and they all promise to not keep anything hidden from each for now on. But since their fingers are crossed, this means future episodes are fair game for both parties. Speaking of future episodes, that revelation with the book is incredibly significant. What makes most second seasons great is that they have some big turn of events that makes them special and exciting. Whether it's the friendship lessons, Cowboy Darrel, or Lord Dominator, the invisible ink is right up there too because it means there are so many more mysteries to explore and secrets to discover. Can't wait to see what happens next!

Number 7/Soos and the Real Girl

We start with Mabel frolicking through the shack until her teeth get stuck on wire. Holy crap that must be painful! And Kristen's delivery here is both genuine and freaking hilarious.


"Braces! Braces caught in the screen door! Someone dictate my will, I'm giving it all to Waddles!"

Luckily Soos the handy man gets her out of the door. This small moment does a great job of establishing Soos's character and why he's so appreciated at the Mystery Shack. He may be foolish, but like most fools he is particularly good at specific things. Spongebob has fry cooking, Caboose has robotics, and Soos is basically the shack's Jack of all trades. But he's not great at everything.

We finally get to see what his home life is like outside of the shack, indicating that this is indeed a Soos-centered episode, and his grandmother reveals that his cousin is having an engagement party

Abuelita: I do not want to pressure you, but you are a man now... in a way. It's time for you to start meeting girls. I would like to see you settled before I ascend to heaven and leave with the angels.

Soos: And with grandpa!

Abuelita: (Looking down) No, he is not there.

The things this show manages to slip by the censors is breath taking. I wonder if there was ever a scene too far that didn't make the cut? [link]

Mmmm, yeah, I can see why Disney had to put their foot down on that one. 

Now that we're at the theme song, I think now's a good time to talk more about something I should've given more attention in my last journal. The glorious as all Hell theme song! There are a couple of theme songs that are solely instrumental such as Sonic Boom and Gumball. Only problem is that they're kind of forgettable and seem to only be there out of necessity.

GF on the other hand managed to create one of the most recognizable and instantly iconic themes of the decade. The chorus of whistling, along with the striking imagery, sets the mood this show is going for instantly and always gives me goosebumps. Most of the time when I'm binging shows I skip past the themes to save time, but I refuse to ever do this while watching Gravity Falls. I'll probably also do this for Rise of the TMNT because, let's face it, that opening is untouchable.

We get a bit of Stan's side plot which I'll try and summarize right here since it's not that important. While throwing away an old machine, Stan comes across a Chuck E. Cheese style diner with animatronics that apparently make a crap ton of money. He tries to buy one, but the manager refuses because Stan's too old for the animatronic game. So Stan resolves to steal the animatronic to prove to himself that he's still got it.

I like how Stan tries at first to actually get the robot by legal means and only resorts to crime when he, along with his principle, is pushed. It feels like he has more to prove other than making a quick buck.

Back to what matters, Soos fails awesomely at flirting, so Dipper and Mabel decide to help him out. Also, Mabel does that transition thing. You know the one, where a character says something, and then finishes their sentence in a different location, implying that they waited until they got there to actually complete their thought.



We get a scanning shot of the mall, and you can even spot Melody there (points for attention to detail once again). Some clever dialogue of Soos bombing ensues (including trying to hit on a person outside the Edgy on Purpose store), and he eventually ends up in a game store feeling totally hopeless. That is until he finds a dating sim called Romance Academy 7. Well, I guess of you fail in the real world it can't hurt to try and practice in he virtual one. 

So Soos boots up the game at home and we get.... we.... oh no. It....It's .GIFfanny!!!! I would say clever name on the writers' parts, but I do not like where this is going you guys. I know this episode came out first, but is anyone else get- g- et-ert--herthw-df-geryjwsa-dg-wrthwwfva-q-rhawerg-q................................. [link]

Just Monika
Just Monika
Just Monika
Just Monika
Just Monika
Just Monika
Just Monika
Just Monika
Just Monika
Just Monika
Just Monika
Just Monika
Just Monika
Just Monika
Just Monika
Just Monika

GAH! *deep breathing* Okay, I managed to switch my computer to an alternate battery source. I should be fine.... I think. In all seriousness, I freaking love .GIFfanny as an antagonist. She starts off as friendly and caring, and Soos immediately rolls along with it. It's not until we get that ominous shot of the unplugged plug that we realize something is amiss.


But honestly, does anyone ever actually unplug their computer and leave it like that? I just turn mine off. Still a creepy shot though.

The game itself is a great parody of dating sims, showing off how much this crew clearly adores games. The intro even has those hilarious typos that never get old. And when it comes to games, anthyding can hadplen. So true.


Let's not forget those high quality sprites and facial expressions!

Mabel and Dipper go to Soos's house where he has apparently been cooped up playing the game for about 13 hours. That's right folks, our beloved goof ball has turned into a straight up Otaku. *shudders* The one thing scarier than Monika.

Soos gives another go at the mall, but he just can't stop thinking about .GIFfany. But soon his thoughts take form when she appears before Soos in the TV screens. You see, she is no ordinary game. Apparently Nintendo just couldn't settle for the Switch. The only way to get more innovative is too literally bring the game to life. Someone has apparently never seen a Terminator film.

But even though Soos spends most of the day with his virtual girlfriend, the unthinkable happens. Soos... actually strikes up a normal conversation with a woman. Yeah, that was a little unexpected. Not only did the game help Soos with social skills, but he also managed to strike a date by simply being himself. Two very admittedly unexpected developments. But hey, I like it! Soos is a great character, and despite his eccentricities, there's a match out there for everyone. And even though the game is technically the villain in this episode, it legitimately gave Soos solid dating advice. 

Unfortunately, it doesn't take rejection too well. .GIFfanny's true colors start to show in the next scene when she lashes out at Soos for breaking up with her. Despite turning her off though, she lives on and continues to stalk Soos all the way to his date at... OH COME ON!!! I'm already dealing with Monika over here, now I have to watch Freddy Fazbear?! I can't take these creep factors anymore!

Even though they win the day, I'll never forget all the creepy as Hell imagery in this episode. I'd argue that this is actually the creepiest looking episode of the series, if not the scariest. With a toxic personality, crazy powers, sickening visuals, and a haunting performance thanks to Jessica Diccico, This episode might actually be one of the best representations of a one sided relationship. Take notes kids.


And sweeeeeet dreeeaaaams.

Number 6/Blendin's Game

Okay, I promise not too gush too much about Justin Roiland in this section. So instead of wasting writing time, here's some clips of Celestia with Lemongrab's voice.



RB'sB: Why is that so fitting?!

We start with a look at the future as Blendin is on the run from time cops. Apparently he's been in jail all this time, and right before he gets caught he invokes GLOBNAR.

RB'sB: Bless you?

No, that's what it's called. GLOBNAR, a sort of gladiator type fight where people fight to get a time wish, whilst the loser's fate is at the hands of the winner. This is Blendin's way of enacting his revenge on Dipper and Mabel for ruining his life. I actually find this to be a much more solid motivation than other antagonists of his caliber, like say.... Trixie! As great as Magic Duel is, it did feel a bit like an overreaction on her part, which is arguably in her character. Blendin, on the other hand, not only was fired, but also was sentenced to ten square life sentences in time prison. And this will be very important later.

At the Mystery Shack, we see Soos being his usual helpful self.

Stan: Soos! I need to scratch myself in two places at once!

RB'sB: Oh hey guys, Alex Hirsch is scratching himself. ZING!

Crude as that joke was, I'm actually glad you brought it up. Everyone, it's time to put this out there. There have been plenty of cartoon creators who also decided to lend their voices to their own projects. I totally get this. If I created a show I'd go for that acting credit too. You've got Seth Macfarlane, Seth Green, J.G. Quintel, Ian Jones Quartey, Doc Hammer, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, and even Justin Roiland! But I am prepared to say that out of all of them, Alex Hirsch is my pick for the best voice actor!

With JG and Ian, they have some of the most recognizable voices in cartoons, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It just means they don't have much range. Doc, Trey, and Matt have decent range, but because they voice sooo many characters in their shows it becomes pretty easy to spot them out. Justin and Mr. green, as much as I love them, don't have the greatest range either. As for Macfarlane, he's honestly one of the best voice actors working right now. Too bad most of his talents are squandered on below average products like Family Guy and Sing. Plus his normal voice shows through sometimes when he gets really into a scene.

These problems are virtually nonexistent with Hirsch. He voices Stan, Soos, Bill Cipher the gnomes, and Old Man McGucket. These are all pretty major characters, yet none of their voices even come close to sounding like the other. Alex Hirsch, you may not exactly be the next Mel Blanc, but your ability to run a show as well as boast an impressive range of voices impresses me to no end. Here's a cookie!

When Soos leaves wallet behind, Dipper and Mabel rummage through it and find out today is his birthday. Oh, is this gonna be some sort of Party of One style episode where we see he's so selfless that he totally forgot his birthday? Well no, in fact it's a lot sadder than that.

Dipper and Mabel, along with her friends, throw Soos a surprise party, which actually depresses Soos. Wendy reveals that he, for some reason, hates his birthday for an unknown reason. And we see how serious they are about this.


"I even petitioned the government to have this day removed from calendars. Now I'm not allowed on airplanes."

Considering Soos is the kind of man to scratch Stan in two places at once, I can see why he'd do that. Luckily his birthday wasn't the only thing they found in his wallet. It turns out Soos loves laser tag, and they try to cheer him up by taking him to the arcade where a laser tag resides. But right before the fun can start, Dipper and Mabel are apprehended by the Time Police where Blendin Blandin is revealed to be back.

Mabel: The time traveler guy! What did you say your name was again? Blendo... Blondin...

Dipper(Snaps fingers) Blar-blar!

Mabel: There it is!

Blendin: It's Blendin! Blendin Blenjamin Blandin!

And unlike in TMNT with Baxter Stockman, Gravity Falls takes the high road and decides to not run this stupid joke into the f***ing ground. Thank you!

Speaking of names, anyone else notice how the Time Cops' names are Lolph and Dungren? These are the kinds of jokes that simply have to be discovered on second watches. Right before the GLOBNAR can begin, Dipper steals the Time Tape so that they can escape. But instead of the present, they end up ten years in the past. Honestly, there are so many awesome and clever visual gags in this scene that I just can't bring myself to spoil them all. So here are a couple!


I can get behind this kind of graffiti.

Present Robbie: *shoots Soos with a laser* Ha ha ha! Laser Robbie!

Past Robbie: *shoots Dipper with water* 
Heheh, dorks. Young Robbie!

Good on the writers as well for establishing earlier that the arcade used to be a mattress store, signifying the time difference. We even get a moment where Young Wendy thinks that Dipper is cute. So f***ing genius!

After fixing the Time Tape, Dipper and Mabel run in to Soos as a child. They decide to follow him so that they can figure out what went wrong on his birthday. Every year, he's been waiting for his dad to come and visit him, but it's never happened. Every time Soos thinks he's at the door, he gets another post card saying he couldn't make it and that he'd be there next time. But next time never comes. You can throw this kid the coolest parties, give him the nicest presents, serve the greatest food, but none of that can replace the love and attention of a father. This is why he hates his birthday. It's not because he didn't get some present. It's not because his Abuelita was unable to book some performer. It's not even because had a super unlucky day. It was because it was the day he finally understood that his father didn't care enough about him to see him on his birthday, and he would never be coming back.

RB'sB: Crying Mako 

This moment is one of the most mature and insightful moments of Soos's entire character, and possibly the show. It adds a lot of weight and realistic motivation to why he hates his birthday. Realizing this themselves, Dipper and Mabel turn themselves in and accept Blendin's challenge so that they can win a Time Wish for Soos to see his father. But not before getting a funny joke about Roiland's voice being annoying.



Lolph: Hey, turns out I can mute him.
Dundgren: Man, I wish we'd known that earlier.

To be fair, I feel like Justin is never allowed to use any voice for for cartoons other than his Oscar voice. And I say Oscar voice instead of Morty because that's the first voice role he's ever used it in. This guy's got... decent enough range you guys. He doesn't always have to be annoying.

GLOBNAR goes down, and it's pretty dang fun to watch. It even makes you think there's gonna be this epic laser tag battle like they've been hinting at this whole time only to make it as underwhelming as possible, which in this case is a good thing because this it's not the main focus of the episode. Plus it's really funny.

They return to Soos saying that he can have any wish granted, including getting his dad back. However, Soos simply wishes for them to be fixed up (along with an infinity slice of pizza). After seeing everything they went through to make him happy, Soos realized that he didn't need some deadbeat dad. All this time his family has been right in front of him, because family doesn't have to be defined by blood. Right bro?

RB'sB: What? I can't hear you over all this cheese.

*sniff* Love you too buddy.

Number 5/Stanchurian Candidate

I am talking about a political episode of a cartoon. Which means there will be absolutely no mentions of any real life politics. Do you all understand me?! Good. Now here's this episode is good.

We get a cold opening centered around Stan having a really rough day. He's feeling old and like no one respects him anymore, which can be attributed greatly to the arrival of his brother, whom I will discuss later. This opening scene is very important because, like I said, this show is excellent at giving characters solid motivation and conveying a lot of this through quick and very funny scenes.

The concept of Stan running for mayor after all is... a little strange to say the least. After all, this guy is a con artist and isn't the best with people when it comes to bedside manners.

RB'sB: Can't forget that extensive criminal record. Almost like we need to LOCK HIM U-

I SAID NO POLITICS BROTHER!!!! But yeah, Stan isn't running because he thinks he'd be a great mayor. He wants to gain some respect back from his family and prove to them, as well as himself, that he's not slowing down any time soon.

We cut to the town hall where they discuss how running for mayor works. Also, I completely forgot about the news report joke earlier announcing the mayor's death, and I nearly lost it.


"I'm sorry. It's just been so long since we've had real news. I'm just so happy!"

We get a ceremony where candidates literally have the opportunity to throw their hats in the ring, and the first one to step up is Bud Gleeful, giving Stan even more reason to run himself. In fact, most of the town follows suit, including a creepily normal character named Tad Strange. Sorry, but I'm just so not used to normal and emotionally stable cartoon characters.


"And I love bread."

Much like last time, Dipper and Mabel take it upon themselves to help Stan out with his campaign. Except unlike Soos, Stan isn't having it and wants to do this thing by himself. Does this work out for him?

Toby: Hello! Candidate Stan first question: How do you feel about the American flag?

Stan: Meh, I can take it or leave it, too many stripes. Next question.

Toby: What would you do to help educate our kids?

Stan: Ha, simple. Put them on an island and make them fight for dominance. Also teach kids swears. That'll bring them to the real world. 

Toby: What would you do about the crime in Gravity Falls?

Stan: Wait, do you mean crime in general, or just the specific crimes committed by m— *Dipper cuts the phone line*

It almost feels like Stan is wearing his truth telling dentures here, and it's still just as funny! 

Apparently Stan is doing so bad that not only are his ratings below zero, he's also already become a... a-a... a meme.



I completely forgot that this episode made a joke about memes. I also forgot hat the joke was still somehow funny. How you may ask compared to other shows? Well, like any good joke, it all comes down to timing. I don't find meme humor bad in cartoons just because they're dated (though that is part of the reason). It's also because most of the time the references feel incredibly forced and like the writers had no idea what made the meme funny to begin with. 

Can't forget about that timing as well! Jokes like these are meant to be fast paced so as to not distract from the story. If there is anything this show excels at, it's never wasting time. Their meme reference was on screen for about half a second and requires a good eye to really catch. Also I've spent way more time explaining why this joke works than the show itself actually did conveying it. So yeah, Gravity falls knows how to meme good.

Fearing that Bud might be up to no good, Dipper turns to Ford for help with Stan's campaign. Why doesn't Ford just run? I mean, come on you guys, the man's busy keeping the universe safe. He can't do that while also running one of the strangest towns in America. Luckily, he does have a tie that will enable Dipper to mind control Stan's every move. Awesome? Yes. Morally ambiguous? Eh, what could go wrong? Besides, this is Stan we're talking about. He's probably done worse.

After a funny scene of the twins testing the tie out on Soos, they use the tie on Stan and manage to bring back up his name in the polls. This worries Bud, who turns out to be indeed up to no good as he is basically a puppet in Gideon's plans to break out of jail.

Aw crap, I never talked about Gideon did I? Why oh why I couldn't at least one of his episodes appeared in my last list?! And the one time he did he was upstaged by Bill freaking Cipher. Anyway, Gideon rocks. He sort of feels like the concept of Stewie, a villain trapped in the body of a child, but he manages to use his childlike innocence as a weapon more than a weakness. A lot of his euphemisms feel like a very natural part of his character a roll off quite well, and a lot of this can be thanked by Thurop Van Orman, aka Flapjack. In short, great villain.

Seeing as how the good guys have resorted to rather unethical means, Gideon takes similar measures and mind controls his own Dad. A very interesting moral argument. Gideon may be evil, but he's pretty much only copying what Dipper and Mabel started, so is anyone really in the right here?

Eventually Stan finds out about the mind control tie, which of course makes him feel even more underappreciated. So he goes on without it, but he has trouble getting the crowd to throw bird seeds at him.

RB'sB: Excuse me what?

If you've seen the episode you'll know what I'm talking about. Gideon reveals himself to Dipper and Mabel, and unlike most villains who boast for the sake of boasting and plot, he actually takes them up to the old mayor's (whose name I refuse to even attempt to type out) monument with a bunch of dynamite waiting for them. Okay, never mind. That moral compass is officially shattered.

As Stan regrets not taking his kids' advice, he hears their pleads of terror from the monument and goes to save them. Despite not being the best speaker, he knows when to take up immediate action, which I wish was a quality be considered more when voting.

RB'sB: Um...?

You're right, you're right. Can't get off topic. Once again Stan shows off how much of a bad a** he is, and we see just how patriotic he really is. Because what's more patriotic than saving your grand niece and nephew with a ball of fiery doom as a back drop? Though I do have to take points off for him punching that eagle.

But as I predicted, his shady past came back to bite him in the butt as he was disqualified. Fortunately the race wasn't as important as respect he wanted from his kids. So I'd call this episode a victory for him! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna take a break while my brother reads off the many many crimes Stan has committed. Bro?

RB'sB: With pleasure. *ahem* FIRST-DEGREE THERMOMETER THEFT. PUG TRAFFICKING. SNACKS EVASION. PICK-POCKETING. WOODPECKER BAITING. IMPERSONATING A DENTIST. GENERAL INDEC-


  • Listening to: Ram Jam
  • Reading: Guinness Book Of Game Records
  • Watching: Gravity Falls
  • Playing: Smash Bros for Wii U
  • Eating: Eggs
  • Drinking: Water
Everyone, I'd like to introduce you to Free-For-All. At first glance, it may seem like another Death Battle clone, but here are some stark differences. There's no fight, the hosts swap out every other episode, and it's much more focused on the debate side of things rather than the versus. So please, give this video a look when you can, and let me know what you think! I'm Nate by the way.



Also, here's an every second of video I made for Game Grumps. I think I'm definitely gonna be making more of these in the future.


  • Listening to: Ninja Sex Party
  • Reading: GameInformer
  • Watching: Community
  • Playing: Horizon Zero Dawn
  • Eating: Sandwich
  • Drinking: Capri-Sun
Sorry for the obvious title, but it got the most votes on my poll, so I think you guys are already okay with it.

Way back in the summer of 2016, Nickelodeon was showing promos for their newest cartoon following the boy who was the middle child to ten different sisters. When I first saw the promos, I thought it would suck. The premise sounded ridiculous, I didn't think the sisters would be very interesting, and the art style felt kind of lazy.

So I checked out the first few episodes, and I thought it was... harmless. There was nothing special about it, the show certainly could've been a lot worse. And I even managed to get all the sisters' names down pretty easily.

Then I watched the next episode. And the next one. And the next one. And the next one. And the next one. And the next one.

RB'sB: Hey man, you've got a phone call.

Phone: And the next one. And the next one. And the next one.

Now I know what you guys are thinking. Normally when a reviewer says that, they mean that they started getting more and more fascinated by the show as it went on in the same vain as Friendship is Magic or Gumball. But here's the real reason I kept on watching. I didn't watch because it was amazing. I was trying to figure out WHY it was amazing.

After all, it seemed to be the only show that anybody would talk about. For months I had to click through so many status updates, memes, artwork, and reviews all centered around The Loud House. Which raised the question for me. What's up with all the hype?



I could write an entire journal about hype killing a product, but the thing is, even before all the hype, I felt the exact same way about the show that I did when I watched the first episode. At least with Frozen and Avatar I can understand why they're so huge. But TLH is simply baffling to me. And now, I'm cursed to forever keep watching this mediocre show until I can finally find an episode that justifies the hype.

RB'sB: Wait a minute, I thought you liked the show. You even had it in your Top 20 Cartoons ever in that one status update.

I lied. I felt so guilty about not liking the show that I lied to you guys, and I lied to myself. I'm really sorry everybody. I thought that maybe if I forced myself to get the appeal I'd finally climb aboard the fun train, but it just didn't work. If anything, it made me even more frustrated with the show!

RB'sB: Which leads us to the elephant in the room. Do you actually think that a good TLH episode doesn't exist?

I don't see why that matters. I mean the journal was on April Fools Day.

RB'sB: Sure, but unlike other pranks from that day, you genuinely feel like you're right about that. Other than that status where you lied, you've had nothing but negativity for the show. So was that journal true or not?

I mean.... yes, with obvious exaggerations. I'll give TLH this, it's certainly competent... at times. But when you have THAT many episodes, you're bound to get some standouts eventually. After all, a broken clock is right twice a day. And that's exactly how I see TLH. A broken clock that needs a little lubrication. So enough time wasting, this is The Loud House!

For the format of this journal, I'm gonna go back to my format of the Adventure Time journal I did that was honestly pretty similar to this one in terms of premise. This means I'll be cutting it up into sections of the things that annoy me the most about this show. Also, I'll probably focus the most on season 3 since they're the most recent and actually provide the greatest examples for points. Also, I'm gonna keep myself pretty mellow here since I know you guys love this show. So, as a challenge, I'm not gonna curse once. Guess I'd better get it all out of my system.



Too Many Characters

Eeyup. I'm not holding back anything with this first point. I'm starting off by criticizing the very premise of the show. The whole point of The Loud House after all is that it's loud, chaotic, and filled to the brim with characters. Look, there's filled to the brim, and then there's this.



At some point, this whole show is gonna burst. Too many characters does seem like an odd criticism. After all, most of the shows I watch have just as many, if not more main characters. But the big difference that helps those shows' casts work is their environments. Look at MLP. This show has TONS of characters. But it also takes place in a fantasy setting, with huge open environments and vast creative worlds. The more world building a show has, the more room it has to breath.

Hell, in Red vs Blue, there are too many main characters for me to count on both my hands, twice! But they also have the ENTIRE GALAXY to breath. Even in the first episode, they have a gigantic canyon to play around in.

The Loud House, at its core, is a slice of life show with no fantastical elements or settings for the characters to breath in. You know how many important characters there are in We Bare Bears? Three! TLH has 13!!! This show has no room to breath, and because most episodes take place in the house, it feels so claustrophobic.

Also, and I hate being that guy, but doesn't anyone else here think that having THIS many main characters for such a simple and episodic show is kind of a crutch? With this many characters, writers can literally fill entire voids in their episodes with the other main characters getting to do stuff. But the strange thing is that despite the endless possibilities, they've been doing nothing with them for about two seasons!

Unbalanced Character Dynamics

These writers have infinite potential for episode ideas, so why have so many episodes only been about Lincoln? The episode is either just about Lincoln, Lincoln and Clyde, Lincoln and a sister, Lincoln and ALL the sisters, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne *shutters*, or Pets Peeved. There have been other exceptions like House Music and Friend or Faux?, but the only thing they have going for them is that they don't star Lincoln. And I can remember at the time of their releases how big a deal everyone was making out of it. Well it shouldn't be such a big deal! What is the point of having all these characters just to do nothing with them?

Some of the worst episodes are when the staff completely forget the sisters are even individuals and just have them act like a hive mind. Remember in Cereal Offender when all the sisters were there just to behave like brainless children and screw up Lincoln's end goal? Also, what was he doing again?



Getting a box of bran flakes? That's a worse character motivation than Grannies Gone Wild.

Rainbow Dash: 'Til finally you climb to the highest peak on the rails! Then drop towards the ground at lightning speed before coming up to a screeching halt! It's the coolest ride ever to exist in the history of Equestria!

YOU ARE LITERALLY THE FASTEST THING IN EQUESTRIA! WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT GOING ON SOMETHING THAT'S NOWHERE NEAR YOUR SPEED?! Did you forget you can break the sound barrier?

But that's another review, back to this one. Lincoln, to me, is one of the worst choices for a main protagonist I've ever seen. There is nothing interesting about him at all. I mean, he's nice. Okay. He has white hair. Fine. He reads comics in his underwear. How did we not realize Savino was a predator again? Lincoln, at his core, is the voice of reason of the group. He's there to reel in other characters from their shenanigans, and that's perfectly fine. But most of the time he's given nobody to reign in. Imagine if Applejack, Simmons, Ice Bear, Anais, or Squidward were the main characters of their respective cartoons. They'd be boring as heck shows. Or The Loud House I guess. At least Steven Universe is a compelling enough character to warrant all the screen time.

Even The Loud House admits Lincoln has no character. In Ties That Bind, every tie connected to a sister's personality in some way. But because Lincoln has no personality, they had to say "the white hare". Get it? Because Lincoln has white hair and the tie is a bunny? Gotta love that misunderstanding plot.

I'll give the staff credit, they do fix the problem pretty well in season 3. There's actually a good number of episodes where Lincoln has not a single line. However, I'd be a little more happy if A. They'd done this in the first place, B. They'd get a little more creative with their character pairings, and C. If they actually had Lincoln do his job! Having no voice of reason is worse than having him be the main attraction. Because Lincoln's family is kind of freaking crazy.

Actually, you know what? Let's go through each of his sisters individually and see what I think of them.

Lori

Why couldn't she be the main character? No seriously, why not? She's the oldest and most responsible, so wouldn't it be more reasonable that she controls the chaos? Oh wait, I know. It's because the show is a mostly-female cast, and you've gotta have a male main character so that people will watch it. Thanks for starting that trend Steven Universe.

For the most part, Lori's a pretty shallow character with painfully vapid dialogue, and when she finally has a whole episode dedicated to her, Lori's motivation is to beat another girl at getting the best selfies. Okay, Panda from WBB may be a phone hoard, but at least his interest in technology isn't rubbed into our faces obnoxiously. He even serves as a way to show all the benefits of technology. What benefits does Lori show for owning a phone? It gives you the means of defeating your self proclaimed rival for your own petty needs? Like, whatever. I literally couldn't care le- DANG IT! She's got me doing it!

Leni

Leni is sweet and dumb. And that's it. There's not much else to say about her that I haven't in my comparison. Writing dumb characters actually takes a lot of smart dialogue, and Leni feels like one of the laziest dumb characters ever. It's like she's there just to fill in the dumb character check box.

I think it might be the voice too. No offense to Liliana Mumy, but she just doesn't sell the character very well. Look at other idiots like Patrick Star, Richard, Caboose, or Ed. You truly believe they're dumb without a hint of self awareness. The worst episodes are when they are self aware. Remember when Leni instructed her stunt double to run into a wall on purpose? LAME! Other than one line about golf, I cannot think of one quote from her that's clever. I know I can with Caboose!

Caboose: *facing a wall* If I can't see them, they can't see me!/Yep, he's definitely captured. Or dead. Captured or dead. *inhales sharply* Or captured and dead!/

Caboose: Look what I found!

Donut: I found it!

Caboose: Look what I took credit for finding!

Church: So it is a sword, It just happens to function like a key in very specific situations.

Caboose: Or it's a key all the time, and when you stick it in people, it unlocks their death.

Church: Why would solar power make him sick?

Caboose: Is he a Republican? 

What quotes does Leni have exactly? The lights go out and she thinks she's blind. She can't walk and chew gum at the same time. She calls Lincoln, Landon. She gets herself trapped in Lily's crib and starts crying like a literal baby. She wants to split a quarter 40/40. (They actually make this joke twice because of how hilarious it is.) Constantly running into walls, on purpose apparently. She claims her life's work is a six piece kid's puzzle. 

I'm not laughing at these moments, I'm just super concerned for her. How can she possibly not know that every day of the week ends in "Y"? Can someone get this girl a tutor or something?

Luna

So in this episode, Luna-



Okay, what is up with fandoms obsessing over characters named Luna? She's fine! Luna is a fine character. She's just not nearly as deep as fans make her out to be. The reason she loves music so much is because she went to a rock concert. That's it. Pretty standard stuff beyond that like playing instruments and being easily the loudest and most annoying member of the cast. Nika Futterman is a fine voice actress whom I have nothing against, but she can't sing, and her freakouts are much better suited to characters like Sticks the Badger.

And I guess you could claim that she's so awesome because she's passionate about her work, but so is Luan. Also, are we just gonna forget that she nearly killed Lily by trying to stage dive on her? How has that not been a heavy topic of discussion?!

Luan

Speak of the devil. Luan, funnily enough, went from being my favorite sister to my least favorite over the course of the show. She is not a funny comedian. Her role in the show is comic relief, yet she's easily the most boring character of the cast. All she does is tell lame puns one after the other.

She is not a good antagonist. It makes no sense why she'd be so evil on one day of the year towards her family. The crap she puts her family through not only makes her look terrible, but it makes everyone else look like idiots. How does she have this much control exactly over a house of 12 others? Someone please explain to me how they've never realized their obvious advantage in numbers and just did this? [link]

I think :iconblackmoonpaladin: said it best.

"Luan's jokes aren't just bad... they're PREDICTABLE! And that's the most deadly sin a comic relief character can make. A comic relief character should be sporadic and random, and always keep the audience on their toes. Luan doesn't do that, she keeps her audience staring at their cell phones and waiting for it to be over."

At least Funny Business and Head Poet's Anxiety were good enough to make me like her more.

Lynn



Lucy

Lucy's not that bad honestly. In fact, she's pretty good. I like her design, she's much more reserved, therefore, tolerable, than everyone else, and she has a decent number of good appearances. So yeah, I guess I like her, just not as much as other deviants like :iconmikethehuman113:

Lola and Lana

I'll tackle these two together and say that they are two saving graces for this show. They have the best episodes, Grey's voice work is fantastic, and they can be downright adorable at times. 

Lisa

Wow, the younger siblings are on a role. Lisa may be yet another child with the brain of three Einsteins, but she works for the most part. But she can be pretty lousy at times, especially when it comes to her treatment of her siblings as experiment subjects.

Lily

I'm sure many of you thought I was joking when I said Lily was my favorite TLH character. Well, do you believe me now? Lily is friggin' adorable, and that's basically all you need for me to care so much about her. When I saw how sad she was in The Crying Dame, I felt a part of my heart shrivel up inside. Lily is a shining star on this show, and she's not even my favorite baby character. Not even in the top 5. Those spots belong to The Boss Baby (not kidding), Charlie from Good Luck Charlie, Jack Jack, Pumpkin and Pound Cake, and Flurry Heart, the latter of which makes me feel like a narrator trying to keep a straight face while voicing a documentary about a house cat.



So how would I rank 'em? Probably like this. 

10. Lynn
9. Lori
8. Luan
7. Leni
6. Luna
5. Lisa
4. Lana
3. Lola
2. Lucy
1. Lily

But it doesn't matter much because each section I used to describe my feelings towards these characters barely even count as paragraphs. The only time they did was when I complained about them. All these characters are too freaking simple. In fact-

Everything is Too Simple

From the stories to the characters to the premise, nothing about this show gives me enough to talk about, at least when I'm being positive. There's nothing for me to want to keep coming back to or get more of. Even the characters I do like are nowhere near my favorites in fiction.

Let's take a look at two other simple shows: We Bare Bears and Community. The former is one of the most charming cartoons airing, using simplicity to its advantage in order to be more entertaining, having a cast that's both likable and has enough breathing room, and the atmosphere is so much more inviting and soothing than the all the screaming and poop jokes found in TLH. 

Community is also pretty simple, it's about students and their lives at community college, but my God are the episodes creative and funny. Community uses simplicity and its large cast as tools for success instead of crutches for excuses.

Now for some characters that I have a LOT more to talk about.

The McBrides

Clyde might be one of the most boring and uninteresting best friend characters I've ever seen/ He adds absolutely nothing positive to the show, and he's just there to be the "black friend sidekick" for unfunny comic relief, a stereotype that I was infinitely thankful towards George and Harold for avoiding. 

Speaking of George and Harold, you know how I said their friendship was the heart of Captain Underpants and how every second they're onscreen together is like a drop of heaven? I feel none of that towards Clinlcoln McCloud episodes. These two just lack the same kind of chemistry that makes me want to root for them to be together. Instead of joy, I feel confusion whenever they get more screen time. Remember when Tricked! came out and how most people focused on the stuff the sisters were doing? Funny how 60% of the episode was spent following these two go against the stock bullies.

Oh yeah, quick tangent, I cannot stand these kinds of bullies. Why do they have to have the most obnoxious voices in the world? Why can't they have any personality outside of tormenting a character? Why do no adults or older kids ever call them out? Why can't they be more like Groose from Skyward Sword? [link] And why did TLH have to be the absolute worst at this cliche?!

Moving on, I've compared these two with George and Harold so much that you'd think I'd be comparing them. Don't worry, I have a different pair in mind for them. But for now, I've tried for days to think of a quality Clyde has that doesn't have to do with Lincoln. And as I was writing this, it finally hit me! And it's one of my least favorite parts of any show I've ever watched!



It's his stupid infatuation with a girl that's 6 years older than him! Guys, I seriously don't get how this is at all okay for a kid's show. The obsession this kid shows for Lori would be unhealthy for any age range. Not to mention that nosebleed joke got old ridiculously fast.

And I sure wouldn't be harping on this if Change of Heart actually CHANGED CLYDE'S HEART!!!! It didn't even do what it said it would do. Clyde wanted to be a normal kid, but the writers decided that was just too essential of a character trait for him to lose. I can see why. After all, I literally can't think of any other traits he has. Also, I can't be the only one who thinks Clyde is only friends with Lincoln just to get closer to Lori right? I mean, he did say this when Lincoln was being ostracized by his whole class for not having a green house after all.

Clyde: I'll still hang out with you. In secret, of course. After dark.

That is NOT what real friends do. I don't care if it's meant to be a joke. Not every line in this show has to be a JOKE! And you also don't have to say the same joke twice in the same episode. I'm pretty sure comedy comes in three's you guys.

To wrap this section up, I called it the McBrides since I wanted to bring up this show's handling of representation. And I'm just saying everybody, it's not that big of a deal. Seriously, they have gay parents on the show, so what? I know it's important for the LGBT community, but can we please focus more on the characters? Luna being bisexual is not a character trait. Notice how I didn't bring it up in her section. If the writers really wanted to be diverse, why not make some of the Loud siblings fat, or at least any other body type than stick figures? (I'll touch more upon this later)

Also, and I hate to be THAT guy, but Clarence already did it about two years ago with Jeff's parents.


Bottom line, sexuality isn't a character, and being Mexican isn't either.

Ronnie Anne

Eh? See what I did there? Are you impressed? Can you tell I'm trying to bide my time? Because I feel like I might burst any minute. Ronnie Anne is not a good character. She is nowhere close to a good character. Of all the time she's been on the show, she has not had one redeeming quality.

Ronnie Anne's introduction to the show was the crew trying to rekindle an old cliche that died for a very good reason because of how stupid and dangerous it is to teach to kids. Just because someone is the opposite gender of you, that doesn't automatically mean they have the hots for you if they so much as sneeze at you. Especially when they torment you on a daily basis.

Even after they get together, Ronnie Anne still shows Lincoln no mercy. Why is she allowed to constantly torment and physically abuse him? Just because it's a girl on a guy, that doesn't make it funny. Wreck it Ralph had a scene with Sergeant Calhoun hitting Felix, but that scene was funny because he was okay with it, they needed to escape danger, and he could fix himself back up immediately, which even adds points for surrealism.

I want to see Lincoln beat the crap out of Ronnie Anne just to see how everyone would react. I want to punch Ronnie Anne for everything she's done on the show. Shell Shocked is one of the worst episodes of the show. People think it develops Ronnie Anne, but it only makes her actions more inexcusable. If she had a home life like Helga from Hey Arnold, then maybe I'd forgive her. But she's actually super nice to her family and they love her. So why does she have to treat Lincoln like a punching bag all the time? It makes no seeeeeeeeense.

What kind of friend asks another friend to look for a package for them for days, only to have them open it and get a pie to the face? That's kind of a crappy thing to do. I certainly wouldn't give shippers more fuel after getting pied. Why does Lincoln still show infatuation for a bully? Is it just because she has ovaries? 

There's a scene from City Slickers where Lincoln actually looks forward to Ronnie Anne tormenting him. Why? Has Ronnie Anne brainwashed this poor kid into enjoying everything she puts him through? I don't see how that makes her worthy of a spin-off show that will only last a season. Or at least as long as that other spin-off show. [link]

At this point, I don't think I'll ever like Ronnie Anne. I don't even think I can tolerate her. I'm not gonna be immature and wish death upon her, but I think I at least deserve to get one punch in. Just one? Please? I'll even give her a slab of meat to heal. After all, that is the cure-all for punches right? It must be, it's the only explanation for why every cartoon says it is.

Now let's move on to more technical aspects of the show.

The Animation

I'll give the show this, it has more of a voice to its animation than most cartoons today. (Please don't bring up CalArts with me, I still feel guilty for having been a spark for that controversy.) But for the most part, this show looks pretty meh to me.

Everything just feels serviceable from the movement to the backgrounds. I'd be fine with the slower movements if it matched the tone. But like I said, TLH lacks the calm demeanor of other slice of life affair like We Bare Bears. So if it's going to be more like Unikitty or Mighty Magiswords (shows with very fluid movement and wonderful facial expressions), I ask that the art moves along with it. But as of now, it moves about as fluidly as a duck delivering bread.

The animation also has a pet peeve of mine. I mentioned this earlier, but I'm not a big fan of characters with sticks for bodies. Stuff like Total Drama and Teen Titans Go simply don't work for me in terms of design. If I can imagine myself touching my thumb to my index finger and being able to fit it around a character's waist with room to spare, then the art style kind of bothers me. ASDF characters have more dimensions than this show.



Mean Spiritedness and Stinger Endings

Now this is a very interesting topic regarding The Loud House. Namely because even devoted fans of the show have hated these aspects.

Stinger endings occur when the ending completely negates all the accomplishments of the characters, and TLH has had more of these than Regular Show. But the reason it works in Regular Show and not here is because the characters more than likely deserved it, it was a super clever twist, and it doesn't always end on an obnoxious guitar riff.

Every time TLH does this, it feels like it's out of necessity. Remember when Lincoln and his dad finally stuck it to the "insert bully" characters by walking in their underwear, and then the episode ended with them getting violated by security? That wasn't funny. Remember when Lincoln spent all his time on a project and because of an explosion his grade went down? That wasn't funny. Remember when the family finally started having fun in their pool, but Lily pooped in it? That wasn't funny.

Imagine if in the episode Testing Testing 1 2 3, it ended on the teacher saying Dash got an F. I guess that could've been funny for a second, but it also ruins the entire episode by making all of RD's efforts totally pointless. Some things are more important to the overall product than just getting one more laugh in. This is the exact same attitude that has killed other shows like Family Guy and Teen Titans Go.

But what's especially fascinating to me is how this show tries to be both a light hearted cartoon that teaches kids morals as well as high energy affair with toilet humor, twerking, and some pretty nasty character moments.

Did no one else feel super uncomfortable when characters turned on Lincoln just because they thought he liked some MLP rip-off, or when he couldn't get his house to be green initially, or when everyone thought he was bad luck? Or how about when Lincoln turns on everybody else, like when he started thinking he was a pompous rich kid just because he won a limo contest, or how he relished in the opportunity to be an only child, or when he was perfectly fine staying in another dimension for the rest of his life?

There's also plenty of other moments delegated to other characters: Rita would rather have community service then deal with her family, Lucy getting constantly ignored, any Luan pranking episode, Luna's out of nowhere 180 turn attitude in House Music, and countless other moments.

I know what I'm about to say is very presumptuous, but please hear me out. Mean spirited humor, on a fundamental level, cannot work on shows like The Loud House. The tone that this show has set up for itself simply does not mesh well at all with a lot of the plots I'm expected to get invested in. What doesn't work in shows like MLP, OK K.O.!, Community, and We Bare Bears works fabulously on shows like Rick & Morty, It's Always Sunny, Gumball, and The Venture Bros. The former shows know exactly what their style of humor should be given the context of their worlds, and the latter shows wouldn't be as memorable without all the downer endings and cynicism.

If you think TLH is tailor made for this kind of humor, then I guess I can't really argue with you there. But you know what, I could forgive all of that stuff before from the simple characters to the uncomfortable tone to Ronnie Anne if it weren't for one thing. Is this show at least fu-

It's Not Funny

I vividly remember when :iconrushfan2596: said he finally watched the Family Guy episode Brian's a Bad Father. And unlike a lot of people, he loves it. Why? Because it was funny. And that got me thinking. Can something be given leeway if it's funny? In my opinion, the answer is absolutely! Comedy is one of the hardest things to write, and to be able to nail it is a truly impressive feat. Unikitty can be annoying at times, but it's funny! Gumball can be a little cruel at times, but it's funny! Spongebob can be a bit too surreal at times, but it's funny! Sonic Boom can be a little cheesy at times, but it's funny! It's Always Sunny (and even Family Guy) can be pretty sadistic at times, but they're also really REALLY funny! 

So on top of all the problems I listed before, The Loud House is also painfully unfunny, which to me is the final nail in the coffin. This show gets just about every aspect of humor wrong as far as I'm concerned. What makes most comedy work is how unexpected it is. But TLH has no tricks up its sleeves due to how repetitive its style of humor is.

Everything is predictable. It was so obvious in Baby Steps that Clyde wouldn't have a brother. It was so obvious in Teacher's Union that the coach wasn't some big shot. It was so obvious in Roadie To Nowhere that Chunk wasn't homeless. It was so obvious in L is for Love that the letter wasn't for any of the Loud siblings. It was so obvious in City Slickers that Lori would hate the city. I know that comedies don't, and honestly shouldn't, have complex stories, but these plots are so much more annoying when the comedy doesn't work. This show doesn't have the luxury of telling one sentence plots like Gumball or Spongebob because there's not enough cleverness to the situations or dialogue to make up for the predictability.

Just look at Selfie Improvement. The entire time it's just Lori "literally" trying to make the perfect selfie and failing. The problem is that none of her "fails" are remarkable in any way, and it makes Lori look like an idiot, even going as far as forcing her boyfriend to come out of the hospital after getting his wisdom teeth removed to get in a selfie with her. And you've always gotta end on a joke apparently, so we get another stinger ending proving that Lori has learned nothing. You don't always have to end on a joke you know. MLP is pretty solid proof of this.

Oh I know, how about in Net Gains when every scene just felt like it was filling in time to get to the obligatory "equal participation" lesson? Everyone should get to play, even those with broken legs.

Can't forget Fool Me Twice when we had to wait through EVERY SINGLE LOUD MEMBER fainting at what their doppelgangers were doing. Two more things about that scene. 1. How did every double have the exact same voice as the originals. As a voice actor, I REFUSE to call that nitpicking because it makes zero sense, and it would've been fun to hear different actors do imitations of the main cast. 2. This is ANOTHER problem with having this many characters. Now that they've decided to not solely focus on Lincoln anymore, we have a new problem where the writers waste time trying to give every single character at least one line.

That second problem is basically the entirety of White Hare, which was both a cautionary tale of what the show could've been, as well as a time vampire on all senses. Lincoln didn't even learn any good lessons from the dream or the real life rabbits. I can't find the point anywhere you guys!

But if you really want a scene that perfectly encapsulates this serious problem, look no further than the bunker scene from No Place Like Homeschool.

Lincoln: Alright, guys. Let's get cracking.

[Leni starts clicking with her tongue.]

Luan: Would you mind not doing that?

Leni: Doing what?

[Lynn's stomach starts growling.]

Lana: Hey, shut your gut. I'm trying to read over here.

Lynn: How can you hear my stomach over Luna's tapping foot?

Luna: I'm just trying to drown out the noise of Lucy chewing her pen.

Lucy: It helps me focus. Otherwise, all I can think about is Lori's perfume.

Lori: Um, would you rather smell Lana's grubby old hat?

Lana: [offended] Wow. [the sisters start arguing] It's your fault.

Leni: It's totally your fault and I don't like your perfu-



You've made our point scene, everyone is annoyed. Get on with telling a story please!

"Here at The Loud House, we just want to have a safe environment where everyone feels equal. Even though we've focused a large majority of our show on just one character who happened to be the only boy of the cast. And we also have an episode where we say all girls are different, yet another one totally contradicting this where every Loud sibling gets wet at the sight of a hot guy (this is another reason why Lily's my favorite). And we also have an episode saying that all boys are the same too. And we're still gonna use Lincoln in the title cards for episodes he has nothing to do with. Equal rights!"

And finally, time to get a few more grievances off my chest before a conclusion.

Worst Moments of the Show

Get the Message - Watching Lincoln twerk zombies to death.

Heavy Meddle - Realizing they were revitalizing "that" cliche for some ridiculous reason.

Butterfly Effect - Pretty much everything.

Out on a Limo - Lincoln devolving into a pompous douche.

Save the Date - The moment when they kiss, because apparently that's what you're supposed to do when people say "actions speak louder than words." If that's the case, shouldn't Ronnie Anne know that what Lincoln was saying meant absolutely nothing? And couldn't she have given him a heads up before using the exact same insult on him? AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP HITTING HIM!!!

Come Sale Away - The ending.

Waiting Game - BORING!

A Fair To Remember - DUMB!

April Fool's Rules - OH GOD THE BABY'S DEAD! WHY DID YOU THINK SHE COULD SWIM INSIDE OF JELLO?!

Cereal Offender - Apparently cereal is enough to assuage hive mind bad behavior. Was everyone on bath salts in this one?!

Study Muffin - Buh... buh... buh... BULL SH-

Brawl In The Family - So what exactly does a one of a kind dress look like?

Vantastic Voyage - Why are you guys keeping this terrible van if Lynn Sr. already learned his lesson? And I will cut a fool if anyone says "sentimental value". IT DOESN'T WORK!!!

Making The Grade - Why is this Lincoln's fault again?

No Such Luck - Lincoln having his home taken away made me feel like- [link]

Shell Shock - You really have zero excuse to be such a twat to this guy. What did Milquetoast Loud ever do to you?

Relative Chaos - The moment I heard this would be an episode.

Back Out There - I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. Also, I'm pretty sure Ronnie Anne committed mail fraud.

AARGH! You For Real? - Guess what Clyde? There's also no tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or president of Aruba! Side note: I can't tell you guys how happy I am that the President of Aruba's name's Mike.



Change of Heart - Stop playing with this poor kid's emotions.

Yes Man - The second act with Lincoln reenacting EVERYTHING! Another reason there shouldn't be so many characters.

No Laughing Matter - And I'm supposed to care why?

Not A Loud - The episode.

Anti-Social - There really is no variation on Lynn Sr's episodes is there? 

City Slickers - Lincoln's fantasy about getting abused.

Teacher's Union - So I guess this school's entire curriculum is dependent on whether or not the teachers' "love lives" are doing well. 

Conclusion

I will never understand how this show got so popular. I'm certainly happy for all the people behind it, working on a successful cartoon is honestly the dream. But the characters are all too simple, the plots are predictable the second they're proposed, the writing is not clever enough to justify the simplicity, the cast is too large for such a small setting, the animation doesn't portray the show's chaotic tone well enough, most plots get way too mean spirited for a show of this caliber, and at this point I feel more like I'm watching the show out of necessity.

It lacks the grand scope of shows like MLP and RvB to justify the large cast. The writing isn't as clever as Spongebob or Gumball to justify the simple stories. The tone isn't dark enough to justify the crueler jokes like Rick & Morty or It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. There isn't enough charm like in Community or We Bare Bears for the slice of life feeling. It squanders the potential of its huge cast with uninspired pair-ups and constant Clinclon McCloud episodes, and it seriously needs to take a note from shows like Camp Camp and TMNT in that department. And overall, everything about this show is one loud mixed bag.

But like I said before, this show isn't shy from competence.

Best Moments of the Show

Sound of Silence - Finally, Lincoln getting punished for a good reason.

Toads and Tiaras - Never before has a six year old's blessing been so meaningful.

Cover Girls - That might be one of the best punishments ever.

Attention Deficit - Hey, I knew they could be good parents!

Girl Guru - That line about everyone being different was good! Too bad it means nothing now.

Homespun - This is what Vantastic Voyage should've been.

Funny Business - This episode was why Luan used to be my favorite.

Frog Wild - This whole episode.

Pets Peeved - Hearing this would be an episode.

Potty Mouth - Youngest character to curse onscreen. Eat your heart out Stewie. [link]

Read Aloud - Watching Lincoln help Lola read. Awww.

The Crying Dame - And this is why Lily is my favorite.

Head Poet's Anxiety - Quick bro, get the camera! There's actually a good season 3 episode!

I've gotta tell you guys, it feels good to finally get this show off my chest. I mean, I'm still probably gonna watch it out of necessity, but I'm sure I'll manage to find some hidden gems in there occasionally. You never know with animation after all.


  • Listening to: Ninja Sex Party
  • Reading: GameInformer
  • Watching: Community
  • Playing: Horizon Zero Dawn
  • Eating: Sandwich
  • Drinking: Capri-Sun
Hey bro, mind if I have some time to myself to write my next review? 

RB'sB: This had better be important if it's worth making me get out of Fortnite.

Yeah, I've been meaning to ask about that. If you hate that game so much why do you even play it?

RB'sB: Because I know my friends need me since they're not very good at it, so I pretty much have to carry their weight all the time. 

Well I think your friends can wait, because I have a very important journal to write.

RB'B: *gasp* After all these months, are you finally doing what I think you're gonna write?!

That's right! I'm writing that fifth episode of Randomated Film Reviews. I've taken way too long to do another one of those.

RB'sB: ... Seriously?! You know that's not the review I was talking about!

I choose to push that to the back of my mind so that I can deny it as efficiently as possible. Now if you'd kindly-

RB'sB: No! I'm fed up with you man! You are gonna get in a lot of trouble if you don't explain yourself. I'm not letting you use this computer until you relent and write that journal!

Oh come on, this again? I thought you had gotten over this conspiracy of yours already.

RB'sB: I had a dream last night man that a bunch of people broke in and kidnapped you. But more importantly, they also kidnapped me to leave no witnesses. I'm telling you man, some day you're gonna realize how important it is that you write this journal. And when you do, the reality of the situation will hit you like a ton of bricks!

*smash*

What the Hell?!

RB'sB: When I said a ton of bricks I didn't mean just one.

Hang on, let me read this.

Dear Fellow DA User,

You should've listened to your brother. Did you honestly think we'd just sit back and and take this kind of mockery from a talentless hack who can't voice act for s*** or even make something that'd get over 2,000 views? Let us tell you the truth. You're just a pampered dough boy elitist who can't tell when a joke has gone too far. And you're finally gonna get what's coming to you. Right. About. Now.

P.S. Sorry for the insults. Mostly just trying to sound intimidating. I hope you don't hit your head on the way down.

Wait a minute? The way... down... Aw geez, what's that smell?

RB'sB: Hey, Carrick. I don't feel so good. *thump*

Little bro? Dude, can you hear me! *cough* Did these guys just *cough* Infinity War my brother? I'm... gonna... ugh, take a nap. *thump*

It felt like an eternity, but the following events were some of the most surreal moments I had ever experienced. I seemed to keep going in and out of consciousness, barely comprehending what was going on around me aside from the occasional bump on the head (seriously, can't these kidnappers kidnap a little more professionally?). Finally, I seemed to be immediately jostled to my senses after the blasting sensation of a bucket of water.

*cough* Ugh, next time could you put me in a handle-with-care box so that these morons can remember to treat their hostages with more respect? I felt like an ASDF cartoon.



???: Morons? Oh come now Carrick, is that any way to refer to your peers?

Wait a minute, I know that voice. Could it be-

???: That is right, for it is I, :iconpowerloud-girl:!

Oh, hey Alex. I was kind of hoping for someone like Mr. Enter, but you're pretty cool too. So, would you mind telling me where the f*** are we here?

Alex: I'll do you one better. Why the f*** are you here?

Already made an Infinity War reference mate. You'll need to be quicker than that.

Alex: That's not the point! You know exactly why you're here.

Wait a minute, is this about that April Fool's prank? Oh come on, that was months ago! Are you guys really so angry about a little joke that you had to kidnap, restrain, and take me out to God-knows-where?

Alex: It's not just about the prank! Not only was it super insulting to just say that no good TLH episode exists and not elaborate, but we weren't the ones who didn't move on. IT WAS YOU!!!

Wait, what?

Alex: Think about all the times you've mentioned that prank and fantasized us getting more and more upset about it. You just couldn't let it go could you? You thought your prank was so damn clever and and innovative that it was all we could think about. You want us to overreact so badly? Well guess what. Consider your wish gra- *lights on* Ah! Who turned the lights on? :iconmikethehuman113:! What are you doing?!

Mike: Oh, hey man. I was just getting some soda. This is my house after all. Oh hey Bro, what's up!

Mike, it's nice to see you! I'm just getting interrogated about my April Fools prank. Are you in on it too?

Mike: Nah, I'm just letting them use my house.

Oh boy, there are others?

Alex: As we're speaking, :iconloudcartoonist99:, :iconrushfan2596:, and :iconstargiantproductions: should be in the other room with another person you know. Oh everyone! Could you please bring in the leverage?

At that moment, three other deviants who I recognized immediately came in with a masked individual. It was pretty easy to guess who it was.

Seriously, you guys kidnapped my brother? If this is supposed to be my leverage, then you guys failed miserably.

RB'sB: Yeah, this guy couldn't give two s***s about what you guys do to me. Last week I poured molasses in his microphone and convinced him the cat did it.

I should've known there was no way to hold a bottle with no thumbs.

Alex: Well, I guess I should've seen that coming. Fine, there are other ways to get you to review it. If you don't make a journal for TLH, then we'll force you to watch your favorite movie on loop!



Alex: Haha! Now what do you think?

Oh God no! Please, anything but th-

RB'sB: Carrick! 

What do you want man? I'm in the middle of writing a review.

RB'sB: Wait a minute, let me see that. *skim* This isn't a review. It's just a poorly written skit with caricatures of ourselves getting kidnapped by caricatures of your friends. Do you honestly think they would kidnap you just because of a prank journal?

Well, not exactly but-

RB'sB: And there's no way you'd be fine with them hurting me, and there's no way you'd consider watching a bad kid's flick torture. You do realize there are actual forms of torture out there? Hell, you've experienced a real form firsthand! Remember that time you were sleepy and tried to wake yourself up with water, but you were laying down so you started to choke?

Well, I guess I had to find out about waterboarding somehow.

RB'sB: For the love of God man, you have been egging these good people on for months with this review, and you're not even gonna be able to write it! The reason I came in here was to tell you that Mom's ready to go. You gotta go to camp man.

Well, I thought maybe I could do a quick speed review that was a couple of para-

RB'sB: Oh no! No no no no NO! The moment you get back home, not only are you going to write a full fledged review for The Loud House like your Adventure Time journal, but you are going to make a whole week out of it with comparisons and various other memes!

But-

RB'sB: NO BUTS!!! And stop writing these cringey skits man. Just get to the review, nobody wants to sit through your awful writing.

All right fine! Geez, you win, I'll write a review for The Loud House! Well everybody, here's the announcement. Once again, I'm gonna be going to camp today, which means you won't be hearing hide nor hare of me for a whole week. But once I get back on the 14th, I am hitting the ground running with an entire week dedicated to TLH. Whichever week that is will be up for debate, but still. Sorry if I offended anybody with this really odd storyline, and sorry to those who wanted a conclusion, but my brother's right. I just need to get to the good stuff from now on and stop dangling bait in front of you guys.

So, some time this month, you guys will be getting a REAL Loud House review. No tricks. No pranks. No skits. 100% genuine material about why I don't like the show. Even though the storyline I wrote was ridiculous, I sincerely believe you guys deserve a solid explanation. Also, that really is my brother's reasoning for playing Fortnite. Here's to hoping it's one of my best works yet!

Until next time, I'll be seeing you guys in about a week. Don't do anything I wouldn't do ;)
  • Listening to: Hamilton
  • Reading: GameInformer
  • Watching: Community
  • Playing: Horizon Zero Dawn
  • Eating: Burger
  • Drinking: Milk Shake
I don't know about you guys, but old habits tend to die hard. It was a bout a year ago when I made the editorial titled Is Filler Always a Bad Thing?, and it's still remains to be one of my favorite written projects to this day mainly for how unique it was. So unique that I never made another editorial in the same vain ever again.

Well, I say enough of this silence! I have plenty of storytelling elements to discuss with you guys, and this has been on my mind in particular for quite a while.

See, if you've read my Randomated Film Reviews, you'll know that I take quite a lot of offense to creators that use narration in a lazy fashion, as do many critics. But I've also praised narration techniques in other films, so where is the line drawn? 

I'm sure everyone has their own standards. Hell, most people probably don't even care at all. But I think you guys are as curious as me considering our fields of vision. 

Now, I'm not saying that this is editorial is 100% fact, but I'm gonna try my best to be as objective as possible when it comes to how to properly implement narration. So, why don't we start with the reason everyone hates narration in the first place.

Tell, Don't Show (wait a minute)

Part of why people have such a big bone to pick with this framing device is that it doesn't fit. What makes movies and shows unique is that they are a visual medium. Anybody can just tell you a story, but the reason we come to movies in the first place is because they're able to imagine these ideas and stories in any way they want. 

So having some disembodied voice just tell us the story that's happening right before our eyes is not only strange, but quite frankly insulting. I've noticed this problem is especially prevalent in films based on books, and I can see why.

Books have leeway to use as much exposition as they want because we have to imagine the world and characters ourselves, and this is much easier to do when the author gets as detailed as possible. The more exposition the better honestly. 

So when it comes to adapting these stories, it's only natural that they'd borrow aspects like the characters talking directly towards us. But here's the thing, with adaptations come changes, a LOT of them most of the time, but why is it that filmmakers seem to always incorporate the most inappropriate part of books to film?

Having a someone explain everything to us like what the characters do, how the world works, a backstory, and sometimes even what's going on right in front of us is such a fundamental flaw. All it does is hurt the experience, because the point of film-making is to present a world and characters to the audience through the visuals (get used to me saying that word a lot). But believe it or not, having a narrator for the whole story doesn't bother me nearly as much as my next problem.

At Least Be Consistent

By far one of my least favorite executions of narration are the movies that have narration in the beginning for world building purposes, never show up again, and finally come back to bookend the film. You'd think a film having less narration would be better, but I'd much rather hear a disembodied voice throughout then just have one come in and out at the beginning and end.

At least films that use more narration are consistent and know what they're trying do. In and Out Films (as I'll refer to them from now on) are way more deplorable because they pretend to care more about the story telling but can't even bother to stick to what they present us with at the beginning. 

Movies like The Fifth Wave, Divergent, The Emoji Movie, and Sheldon-is-an-Alien the Movie are all deplorable excuses for media, and they all do this. It's just so undeniably lazy. I feel like I don't even need to say why considering these problems speak for themselves. The writers don't trust or respect us enough to think we can handle a film that tells its story through strong visuals and natural character interactions, so they just go and say it for us.

That'd be like at the end of No Country for Old Men Tommy Lee Jones just started explaining to us the significance of his dreams. Don't expect the film to just give you the answers, do what I do and look up an analysis video made to explain the significance for you.

People love characters like The Joker not just because he's crazy, but because he embodies chaos. He's an idea, and writers make sure to take us much time as possible to flesh this character out through engaging dialogue, chilling delivery, and strong visuals. In Suicide Squad, one of the worst films ever, there's a scene where The Joker literally says, "I'm an idea," all because the writers were too lazy and Jared Leto's performance was all too incompetent. F*** off.

Speaking of characters...

Who Are These Narrators Even Talking To?

All right, you need a narrator to establish some things too tough to convey with visuals. Fine. It's not necessary throughout the whole story so you just use the In and Out method. Whatever. But for the love of God, if you're going to be as minimal as possible with your storytelling, at least get your own narrator.

I'm probably making too big a deal out of this, but I'm just gonna say it, "Who are these characters f***ing talking to?!" An easy answer would be the audience, but that makes no sense. Once the narration is over, we see that these characters are normal people that have no idea they're in a film.

This goes back to my problem with consistency. It makes me so angry when writers just have the main character explain the plot to us despite the fact that they clearly have no fourth wall breaking abilities.

That's why some of my favorite parts of movies are when it's revealed that the characters were talking to someone or they're telling a story. Remember when in Coco Miguel was narrating his family's history, and then it's revealed that he was telling the whole thing to some rando he shoe shining? That was not only funny, but it also stayed consistent with Miguel's character. Plus, Pixar took the high road and DIDN'T have Miguel narrate again at the end about how happy he was despite the fact that we can clearly see that he is. Once again, f*** you Home.

Hell, Ratatouille goes above and beyond in this sense by having Remy narrate more consistently. And it works here because it never gets to obnoxious, there are still plenty of moments where we watch the story unfold naturally, and I'll admit that I have a bias when it comes to Patton Oswalt. I could listen to this guy do an audio book. And to top it all of, it's revealed that he was telling the whole story to his friends during dinner. Yes!

That's not to say narration is necessarily preferred, because a lot of my favorite sequences involve zero dialogue. Remember in Frozen when Anna and Elsa's parents died at sea? Pfft, please, that was freaking boring and too sad. Let's just have Josh Gad tell us that they died right after we literally watched their ship turn over. Because that's how you improve a story!

Hell, I'll even give credit to lackluster films like The Good Dinosaur, Angry Birds, and Rio. THEY have enough respect for their audience to tell the story visually. Heck, even The Boss Baby had a reveal that Tim was telling the story to his daughter with obvious exaggerations. The story wouldn't have been the same without that element.

And by George, I'm totally fine with movies that wouldn't be the same without narration. Especially ones where not only is it the characters narrating, but also the fact that they clearly know we exist and are telling the story to us.

I'm sure you all know who I'm gonna bring up. Deadpool, Ferris Bueller, and Captain Underpants are ripe for discussion, but I'm not gonna talk about them. I'm gonna talk about another film that I find to be criminally underrated.

I really like Disney's Hercules. No joke. I mean, obviously it's not perfect, and I do have a comparison planned with the titular character as the negative, but I find it pretty underrated.

Most people will say the highlights are the animation, the soundtrack, and literally anything revolving around Hades, but my favorite part is the framing device in the form of the Muses. The beginning of the film sets up a fake out where it seems like it'll have your run of the mill narrator (this time as a clever cameo by Charlton Heston), but then we get a funny role reversal with the Muses taking over, and I love these guys!

Not only do they help with transitions and framing the story, but they're also just a lot of fun. Remember when exposition could be entertaining and not mind numbing? Their songs are energetic and have so much style thrown in, and the occasional banter thrown in is excellent. Plus, it's in character for them to be talking to us since Muses are literally famous for telling stories. I'm not afraid to admit that the Muses are one of my favorite forms of narration in media!

Conclusion

If you want to have good narration, according to me, then follow these steps.

  1. Make sure the narration is crucial to the story.
  2. Make sure it's consistent and not just In and Out.
  3. Don't have a character talk to us when they clearly don't know we exist.
  4. And this is the most important step, have some f***ing fun with it.
And there you go! I hope you guys liked this little-

RB'sB: Hey man, just came to check on how that Loud House review is coming, aaaand you're still not writing it.

Give it a rest bro, I don't need to review that show. And f anyone has a problem with it, then they can bring it up to me directly. You here that everybody, I am not afraid!

RB'sB: Dude! Are you seriously puling an Iron Man 3 and calling these people out directly?! We are gonna get in so much trouble!!!

Well I hope that whatever they're planning they do it quickly, cuz I'm getting bored with life! So, want to binge the last season of TMNT with me?

RB'sB: .... Yeah okay. Maybe I am overreacting.

*somewhere else*

A rando can be seen running through a dark corridor. By the time they get to the door, they address their boss.

Rando: Ma-... Si-... Boss!!! We've got news!

???: All right, what's the trouble?

Rando: It's RaccoonBro.

???: Oh? Has he finally cracked and written that review for The Loud House?

Rando: No, he's written another editorial, and then called us out directly!

???: WHAT?! First he makes a joke journal saying a good Loud House episode doesn't exist. Then he goes silent for a month and returns with a journal about in-flight movies. Then he sells out and makes comparisons, and now he's insulting us?! The waiting game has officially ended. It's time to take direct action. Random crony, assemble the rest of the group, and bring me my diamond tiara.

Rando: Doesn't that kind of give away who you are?

???: Well we don't want to be too mysterious now do we?


  • Listening to: Ninja Sex Party
  • Reading: How to be a Pirate
  • Watching: TMNT 2012
  • Playing: Superstar Saga
  • Eating: Sandwich
  • Drinking: Apple Juice
Am I still dodging that Loud House journal? Absolutely! Am I about to jump on a dead trend? You bet your a** I am!

1) You have to post ALL the rules.

2) Answer 12 questions you have been asked and then create 12 questions for people you tagged.
3) Choose 12 people.
4) Actually tag these people.
5) Can't say you don't do tags. 
6) Tag backs are allowed.

:iconghffff:

1. Name a character you love that everyone else hates and explain why you love them.

I like KVN from Final Space. Simply put, he's just really freaking funny. Even if he wasn't, at least he contributes to the plot in meaningful ways.

2. Have you seen The Twilight Zone? If so what are your thoughts on it?

Nope.

3. If you could have a crossover with any characters who would they be?

Please give me Gravity Falls and Ducktales! And to be even more crazy, RWBY and Red vs Blue would be wizard.

4. What is your favorite Anime show/movie?

Even though I don't watch that much of anime, I'll go with Freeza's representation in Super. It was really cool.

5. Who are your top 10 most hated characters?

Check this f***in' s*** out!!! Favorite/Least Favorite Male and Female Characters

6. What do you think of Mr Rogers?

A childhood favorite who I have nothing but respect for.

7. Who are your favorite villains?

Bill Cipher, Dr. Facilier, Thanos, Joker, Aku, Anti-Pops, Shredder, Lord Boxman, Felix and Locus, Mr. Poopypants, Discord, TFS Perfect Cell, and others I know I'm forgetting.

8. Which characters do you consider overrated and which characters do you consider underrated?

Ronnie Anne and Star Butterfly are overrated, and Prohyas and Vambre deserve more love.

9. Who is your favorite couple in fiction?

Belle and the Beast are nice, and Deadpool has great chemistry with his girlfriend.

10. Favorite comic characters?

Deadpool, Spiderman, Iron Man, Bruce Banner, Rocket Raccoon, and Thor. I don't feel like mentioning any DC guys.

11. Who is the person you most want to meet?

Mel Blanc if we're talking dead people, the Game Grumps when it comes to right now.

12. Is there a fictional character you wish you could meet in real life? And if so who would it be?

Pinkie and Grizz would be a lot of fun.

:iconinfraredtoa: 

1: What toys did you played with when you were a kid?

Connect Four, dinosaurs, Play-Doh, and a bunch of Toy Story toys.

2: Highway to Hell or Stairway to Heaven?

Highway baby!

3: Top 10 Fictional Crushes?

Yeah, no thanks.

4: Carl, what do you want? You got to eat to keep your strength up man (In other words, what is your favorite food)

I hope they have lots of spaghetti! And pizza.

5: Do you have any idea what the fourth question was referencing?

Aqua Teen?

6: Let's pretend you have all the Star Wars movies and none of the original trilogy, what would you rather watch? The Prequels? or The Force Awakens trilogy?

Honestly, the prequels.

7: Favorite Memes?

Robbie and Sanic.

8: What shows are you currently watching? Order them from least favorite to favorite.

The Venture Bros, TMNT 2012, Soul Eater, South Park, F is for Family, Voltron Legendary Defender, and those are all the ones that I'm simply catching up on that aren't current. Can't order them yet.

9: Favorite type of males and females?

Hyper fun lovers, sarcastic wise crackers, jerks with hearts of gold, adorable children (with good actors), and benders of reality.

10: Coke or Pepsi?

No soft drinks for this boy!

11: Favorite TV Show from the 20th Century discounting the 2000s?

Um... Looney Tunes I guess.

12: Favorite Fictional Franchise and Favorite Character from said franchise? Explain those choices.

Nope, can't answer that.


:iconsukoshi13:

1. What do you believe makes a healthy romantic relationship between two characters?

They're able to function and be entertaining by themselves and are even funnier and entertaining together.

2. Name a pairing you despise or dislike that seemingly everyone else supports, and explain why you don't support it.

Lincoln and Ronnie Anne are not a couple to me. They are an abusive relationship that always makes me ridiculously uncomfortable, and City Slickers is a prime example of this. 

3. What do you believe makes a strong introduction to a new series?

Clearly identifying all the characters and establishing the tone of the series.

4. What are some ways a very nice, optimistic, bubbly, cheerful character can be prevented from getting annoying?

Have other characters for them to work off of and have a really good actor who can keep up with the character's personality and remain endearing.

5. If one were to make a film that takes place in the setting of Who Framed Roger Rabbit decades after the original story's events, which decade (ex: 1960s, mid-1990s, early 2000s, etc.) do you think would lead to the most interesting story?

Modern times without question.

6. To expand upon the previous question, who do you think should be the main character(s) or have a major cameo(s)?

New characters with Roger coming back for a bit. And lets's get some ponies in there!

7. How can you properly write a hypocritical character without making him/her unlikable?

Have a cathartic calling out moment for the character to finally self reflect.

8. How can you make a cute, soft, innocent, kind-hearted, socially awkward girl stand out among others in her cliché?

Give her a compelling backstory and maybe make her funny.

9. What is a film or cartoon you like that most others seem to hate? Why?

I wish more people would give Mighty Magiswords a chance. The complaint that it's on fast forward isn't even a factor anymore.

10. What is the worst example of character derailment you've seen WITHIN a series, and how could it have been prevented?

Non Compete Clause made me HATE Rainbow and AJ. They couldn't even learn to not constantly bicker with each other at the end. F***. This. Episode. In the flank!

11. Who is the best example of a character who under-stayed his or her welcome?

Gotta go with Vizzini from The Princess Bride. The film became very mediocre after his death.

12. An adult cartoon/anime is forced to be re-dubbed by 4Kids. Just to see the humorous results, what would you want that poor cartoon/anime to be?

I wonder how they'd handle Adult Party Cartoon and The Nutshack.


:iconthenightwolf38:

1. what show has the best animation?

Honestly, Wander Over Yonder impresses me the most.

2. Favorite food?

Spaghetti and Pizza.

3. what do you like and dislike most about me?

You are fun to talk to and give me new perspectives when it comes to animation. I won't say your grammar, so instead I'll say that you need to draw more.

4. is there any show that you want to watch but u haven't gotten around to yet for whatever reason?

The Simpsons, any anime, and Futurama.

5. What cartoons do u not like but others enjoy?

The Loud House, Star vs, Adventure Time, and Tangled the Series.

6. whats the dumbest thing uve ever heard anyone say?

Trump trying to bring the argument that video games cause youth violence.

7. whats your thoughts on fetishes?(u may skip this one if ure not comfortable answering)

Skip.

8. Does bold and brash really belong in the trash?

I'd buy it.

9. Digimon or pokemon?

Digimon just for that kick a** theme song.

10. is every villain really lemons?

The ones from Cars 2 are at least.

11. what meme do you feel was overused?

That Infinity War meme was way too soon and spoiled too many.

12. favorite emotional momment from any cartoon/anime?

Both Coco and Inside Out made me ugly cry.

All right, my turn!

1. If you could have an Avengers style team of cartoon characters, who's on it?
2. What is your favorite review of mine?
3. What shows would you like to get into?
4. Will hand drawn make a comeback?
5. Game Grumps fans, what are your favorite moments?
6. Have you checked out my Casting Call Club profile? P.S. please do.
7. Favorite numbers?
8. What moment in fiction made you drop your jaw the most?
9. What show would you like to use your powers to immediately end?
10. How did you become a Brony? Or would you like to?
11. Do you collect Amiibos?
12. Best and worst voice actors?

I tag :iconblackmoonpaladin:, :iconemeraldoftheocean:, :iconnegan1994:, :iconyodajax10:, :iconmikethehuman113:, :iconfiremaster92:, :iconthereviewer20:, :iconjoyofcrimeart:, :iconrejected-munchkin:, :iconpowerloud-girl:, :iconplagueknightreviewer:, and :iconjesusstewardson:
  • Listening to: Ninja Sex Party
  • Reading: Frankenstein
  • Watching: TMNT 2012
  • Playing: Horizon Zero Dawn
  • Eating: Pop Tarts
  • Drinking: Apple Juice
Hey guys, as if my love of Game Grumps wasn't clear enough, I spent all morning creating this little old number. Please let me know what you think of it!


  • Listening to: Ninja Sex Party
  • Reading: Frankenstein
  • Watching: TMNT 2012
  • Playing: Horizon Zero Dawn
  • Eating: Pop Tarts
  • Drinking: Apple Juice
Well it uh,.... it sure has been a while considering. I didn't exactly leave you guys off with the strongest of notes now did I?

RB'sB: What? Telling people that a good episode of one of their favorite cartoons doesn't exist and then not elaborate? What could possibly be low about that?

All sarcasm aside, it does feel good to get back into the swing of things after being gone for so long. With school coming to a close and my theater run of Treasure Island running smoothly, it's time to give you guys that journal you've been waiting for.

RB'sB: The best episodes of Gravity Falls season 2?

Again, no! I'm talking about all the movies I watched during my flights to and from Europe. I know that my trip was a month ago, but I still honestly have plenty to talk about with you guys after having watched nine movies total. Can ya really blame me? Twenty hours isn't very easy to pass by.

Enough stalling. Here's a mini review for every movie I watched on my plane rides!

The LEGO Ninjago Movie

The first LEGO movie was an untouchable masterpiece by every sense of the word. The next movie may not have been as powerful but still held onto the same spirit and was even funnier in some aspects. And the third LEGO movie was very very okay.

I was not too excited about the LEGO Ninjago movie when it was first announced. The animation looked stellar, but nothing else really stood out. Choosing Ninjago as the third film in the franchise by itself is a pretty perplexing move. I know the show has been around for a while, but I'm not sure if it's popular enough to warrant a movie. Hell, to even call this a Ninjago movie is honestly giving it too much credit. I've seen quite a bit of the show. It's not half bad. It just couldn't keep my interest. But even as a casual onlooker I could tell that this movie is pretty horrendous as an adaptation.

Not helping is that none of the voice actors from the show are in this film. This isn't the worst thing ever, but it's still really distracting. I know it's important to get big names for animated films, but MLP managed to keep the cast intact while still having celebrities. So why couldn't this?

Another drastic change are the characters themselves. The only things they have in common are the names. So that's one point on The Last Airbender at least, but names are the bare minimum. Not one person acts like their TV show counterparts. Jay has a Pakistani accent, Cole is a DJ, and Zane is still a robot but is nowhere near as subtle.

The plot as a whole also feels incredibly disjointed. It starts with news anchors telling us about the team, and the editing is so fast and nonsensical I can't wrap my head around any of it. Every ninja is severely inconsequential to the story and are literally summed up in one sentence. They could be cut out entirely and leave no difference. The entire first act feels incredibly rushed, which makes sense given that both fans and non fans of Ninjago don't know any of these characters. They're certainly not the same ones from the show. The pacing gets better after the first act ends, but everything still feels disconnected with a real lack of consequence.

That last part can be blamed on the humor. While the first two LEGO movies felt cohesive and decisive with their tone, Ninjago is all over the place going for "LOL, I'm so random" style humor that we're used to from most YouTube Poops. I love a good YTP, some of my favorite videos use this format.



That being said, I don't think that style meshes well with a feature length film. I can only take the randomness for so long before I start to get a migraine. Jackie Chan is not a very good storyteller.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. The film starts with Jackie Chan telling the story to a little boy that walks into his shop. It's not very interesting and doesn't reappear until the end of the film. I may have hated the kids from The Book of Life, but at least they were a consistent part of the film. Why was this even here? Was Warner Bros. trying to brag to DreamWorks about how they managed to use Jackie Chan more in one film than Kung Fu Panda did in three? (Seriously though, Jackie has more lines in The Nut Job 2 than in the entire KFP trilogy.)

That's not to say this film is without merits. I mentioned the ninjas are virtually nonexistent,and that's because this film is really about Lloyd and his evil dad Lord Garmadon. Most people say that their relationship is the best part of the film and.... yeah, it totally is. The have nice chemistry, and it's incredibly heart warming to see their bond grow throughout. It was one thing I honestly had to look forward to with this fiml other than the gorgeous animation. And I'd be lying if I said this film didn't have plenty of chuckle-worthy moments as well. Plus, the positive side of having such a fast pace is that scenes don't linger for too long and the jokes that don't work pass by very quickly.

Other than that, it's gonna take a while for the Warners to pick up the pieces of this mess. And I'm giving this film a 6/10.

The Hangover

A little something you all should know about me. Despite being an aficionado of all things comedy, I have missed out on a lot of what people consider to be the best comedies. Austin Powers, Hot Shots, Horrible Bosses, and until now, The Hangover. One thing I knew about this film was the countless amount of derivatives it inspired. The sub genre 'figuring out what happened last night" seemed to become prevalent thank to this film. And after watching it, I can see why.

The Hangover, above all else, is a really funny movie. And thank God for that. I have seen one too many of these kinds of films that try to be funny by being loud, raunchy, and nothing else of substance. But The Hangover had me in stitches the whole way through. 

I can't exactly say why this film is funny, but I think a good reason for this is the wonderful cast we follow. I am a big fan of Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, and especially Ed Helms for more than obvious reasons. Unlike most adult comedies, these three are actually very likable. Phil is is fun  and foolhardy, but he won't be afraid to lay down the law and take things seriously. Stu is neurotic and immediately sympathetic due to the abusive relationship he's in (finally, an abusive female on male relationship that ISN'T treated like it's funny). And Alan is one of the most relatable characters ever for me due to his social ineptitude and need to fit in.

But seriously, and I know I'm biased, but Ed Helms probably has some of the best line deliveries here.



But here's the tricky part. My rule of thumb when it comes to rating comedies is that I'll generally only give them a nine at best. The main reason being that once you've seen them once, there isn't too much rewatch value once you know all the jokes. So is The Hangover more like This is the End and Ted where it's really funny but not much else, or does it fall more into the category of Scott Pilgrim and The Emperor's New Groove where I feel the need to watch it multiple times. I'm honestly not sure.

The Hangover, as funny as it is, really is about as good as its rated R counterparts and isn't even really as funny as most of them. But there's one thing it 's got that most others don't... a really good story. 

I've said before comedies don't need a story to be funny since jokes come first. But this film does such a good job of enfolding the two elements together. The hangover isn't just a comedy, it's a mystery thriller! I was right along with these characters wondering what the f*** was going on. Seeing all the pieces fall into place little by little was incredibly satisfying to watch. I felt like I was apart of these characters' journey, and it was honestly quite thrilling. So going back with the knowledge of hat happened is honestly a good enough experience to push this film into excellence for me! I'm ot sure if it's one of my favorites of all time, but we'll see how it holds up. And I'm giving this film a 10/10.

Justice League

I think I have some explaining to do. You all may recall a status update where I said Justice League wasn't that bad.

RB'sB: Wasn't that bad? Dude, you practically acted like it was one of the best superhero movies you've ever seen! 


All right, so I may have overreacted at the time when I first watched it. But can you really blame me? Why did it take DC THIS long to make a film that I liked? And upon further inspection, I can safely call this film a guilty pleasure of mine.

RB'sB: So then you don't like it?

Well, I mean, technically no. Justice League, objectively speaking, is a pretty crappy film. The acting and writing is just as bad as previous installments (double time for Wonder Woman's scenes), Steppenwolf might be one of the worst villains ever of all time, and the CGI is pretty laughable despite costing over $300 million! Remember when I talked about budget in my Captain Underpants review sying that the amount doesn't matter compared to how you use it. Well in this case, I think it does matter, because a film this expensive should not look so cheap! I haven't seen effects this bad since... well, the last DC movie!

But G** damn it, there's something about this movie that I just find endearing. Not even in a so bad it's good kind of way. I know thismight sound a little weird, but I think it's the tone. We finally have a DCEU film that has the proper tone of a superhero flick. I'm sorry, but unless your superhero film is as grounded as Logan, you just can't get away with all the melodrama prevalent in Man of Steel, Wonder Woman, and the other two that won't be mentioned here.

There's not much else to say other than this film was kind of fun. The action was goofy, the interactions were interesting, and the characters were even funny. Aquaman was definitely a highlight for me, especially one scene where he tries to act tough but starts opening up about his true feelings. It just takes him a whil to realize Diana used her lasso on him. That s*** is funny. XD

And hey, Superman is finally acting like Superman! Oh yeah, I guess that's a spoiler, but you all knew he was coming back. I guess I can appreciate that others had to actively bring him back as opposed to him saying, "Dah, dere was a malfunction in da Kryptonite and I was just in a healing coma!" Unfortunately, this doesn't solve his "over-powered" problem, which would'nt be an issue if all DCEU films' conflicts weren't solved by brute force. Hell, even Wonder Woman is solved with brute force!

RB'sB: Dude, we get it, you don't like Wonder Woman. Quit your b***hin' and move on.

...Yeah, okay. On the bright side, at least it looks like Teen Titans go to the Movies will be a much more faithful film to the comics. I'm not even kidding. This movie looks great.



And I'm giving this film a.... oh s***, I don't know what rating to give this film. Uh, raincheck?

Loving Vincent

I've heard "filmmaking marvel" thrown out several times, but I still was never entirely sure what the true definition of it was. After seeing Loving Vincent, I think I finally understand what people are talking aobut when they use this term.

For those who don't know, Loving Vincent is essentially a tribute to the brilliant artist Vincent Van Gogh, and every single frame is one hand drawn oil painting. You may have heard reviewers compare some films to a moving painting. Well, this film literally is one, and it is beautiful! It's quite clear that a lot of love and care went into every single frame, and I honestly don't think we'll ever get anything like this. And if we do, it'll likely just be deemed a rip off.

The story itself is very compelling. I was as intrigued as the main character to keep peeling more and more layers off of this mysterious man. The conclusion to his story may be bittersweet, but it doesn't feel too dour.

However, there was one thing I was afraid of coming into this film, and my fears were kind of confirmed. This movie, much like Baby Driver, feels very style over substance. I say this because without the unique aesthetic, I doubt I would've been as invested in this film as I was, and that is a pretty big issue. 

I don't want to s*** on the story too much, but it's just not the kind of thing that I'm into. Nevertheless, I'm still very happy to have watched this film, especially since I had just gotten back from a museum that featured many of his paintings. How apt! And I'm giving this film an 8 out of 10.

The Princess Bride

Yet another beloved classic that I somehow hadn't seen yet. Now, you all know I'm not too afraid to voice an unpopular opinion. I live for those moments. I say this because I thought The Princess Bride was amazing... right up until Wallace Shawn's character died.

Up to that point, I was having a blast with everyone. Westley and Buttercup are adorable, and they don't get too cringey with their love thanks to the kids from The Book of Life done a thousand times better in the form of Fred Savage! This kid was much less annoying, and his relationship with the grandfather felt genuine. It also helps that when they cut to him it wasn't annoying or too distracting from the story.

But the real stars for me are the three outlaws. Fezzik is a gentle giant and is acted surprisingly well by Andre, Inigo needs no real introduction due to how cool and relatable his arc is, and Fizzini is (say it with me now) inconcievably wonderful!

But that's the problem. Once Fizzini is axed off, I just wasn't as entertained as before. I'd like to quote my friend Aston here (who was talking about Deadpool at the time). "This movie unfortunately blew its load way too early." And that's pretty disappointing.

For one, I started to think about all the feminists rallying for stronger female characters, and I think Buttercup may be one of those reasons. I feel no shame in saying that she reminds of Elise from Sonic '06 in that she doesn't do anything to help. For example, when William is attacked by a rodent of unusual size, she just kind of stands back while he gets mauled. And then when the creature starts coming towards her, she calls out for his name despite him having a massive bite wound. I could be remembering the scene wrong, but there were plenty of other moments like this where she has to be saved because of her total lack of skill.

Also, I cannot stand the story trope of someone killing themselves just because they can no longer be with their loved one. I know it's supposed to show how much they cannot live without each other, but I find that mindset to be very unhealthy. To all my single watchers reading this, you don't need someone else to make you whole. You are already a full person, and it's up to you to find someone else who is already whole. Otherwise, your relationship will be very unhealthy and even dangerous. In this case, suicidal-dangerous. So please don't feel ashamed or incomplete for being single.

One last minor gripe that felt a lot bigger for me was how they handled the Prince's punishment for all the crap he did. After being put into a machine specifically designed to make you feel everlasting pain, Westley says they should tie him up and leave him. Seriously?! That's it?! I know this sounds very minor, but think about all the greatest villains in history. Odds are that at the end of the film they wre given some sort of comeuppance that was ridiculously satisfying. That's what catharsis is all about! Bill Cipher gets punched in the eye, Dr. Facilier taken to the other side, Frollo burns in flames, Aku is viciously stabbed to death, and so many more! Tying your villain up and leaving him in his own castle where someone would probably let him loose anyway is NOT satisfying.

So yeah, I totally think this movie is a classic... as long as we're talking about the first act. And I'm giving this film a 7 out of 10.

The Hitman's Bodyguard

A film about Deadpool and Nick Fury teaming up? How could this not be critically acclaimed?! In all seriousness, I wasn't exactly anxious to this film considering the middling reviews it got. But some of my friends apparently watched it on the ride to Europe, and they couldn't stop raving about this film. 

Well, they were so emphatic that I had to see it myself. So I guess this means my friends are the equivalent of a clickbait website.



Luckily, unlike most clickbait sites, I wasn't disappointed. But I also wasn't as big a fan either. The Hitman's Bodyguard is an okay comedy film mixed with a fantastic action film! Most of the comedy, while never cringey, isn't anything special, and I can't think of a single memorable line. But I did greatly enjoy the scenes where Ryan and Samuel's characters were talking and learning more about each other.

In fact, their dynamic as a whole is very interesting to watch. There's never really a point where they become "friends" until the very end, and even then you could argue it's more of a colleague relationship like Batman and Superman as opposed to George and Harold. This dynamic also helped excuse the "split-up" scene, because they were never friendly with each other to begin with. They just hate each other, and this was the tipping point for both characters. Sure, they rejoin, but again, they do it because they have s*** to do.

This film has surprisingly huge stakes. Gary Oldman is a formidable dictator, and he once again shows off his fantastic accent range. Plus, the mortality rate and destruction help add to the seriousness of the conflict. And things never get too melodramatic thanks to the dynamic between our two leads. Even though they're not very funny, they're still entertaining.

But the action in this film is some of the best I've ever seen. There is a lot of hand to hand and close quarters combat, and the editing doesn't fall into the usual cliches of shakiness and too many cuts. At least not too much. Every stunt, explosion, crash, punch, and shot feels ridiculously real, and I was only taken out of the action a couple of times. Like that one point in the trailer where Ryan Reynolds is launched out of the car and immediately gets back up. Yeah, you're not walking for a while after that bub.

So I guess you could call this one of my films that I like that everyone else hates. Fine by me, that just means I won't have to share it. MWHAHAHA!!!! And I'm giving this film an 8 out of 10.

Django Unchained

About a month ago, I realized something kind of strange. I hadn't seen a single Quentin Tarantino film in my life. Not one! Sure he tried to justify the actions of a statutory rapist, but he's still one of the most influential directors of all time.

So then I watched Inglorious Basterds. Masterpiece. Both Kill Bill films. Super cool. The Hateful Eight. Fine. And Django Unchained. Pretty good. 

I don't think it's quite as good as most people like :iconnegan1994: say it is, but I certainly think there are plenty of parts that deserve that reputation. As expected, this film is bloody, violent, and holds no bars. Quentin really is a master at not only making scenes as violent as possible, but also making them super cathartic. You've got Nazis, murderers, wedding crashers, and now slave owners. What's next, cult leaders?

RB'sB: Well, his next film is gonna be about Charles Manson. So...

Holy crap! See what I mean guys?! Watching Quentin rewrite history like this is so freaking cool! And as expected, we've got some pretty cool characters to boot. Unsurprisingly, Cristoph Waltz steals the show as the German assassin who hates slavery yet uses it to his advantage.

Dr. Schultz: But, that being said, I still feel very guilty about it.

I love that line. Candie and Stephen are wonderful antagonists, and I honestly had no idea that such a relationship between master and slave existed. I honestly can't think of another movie about slavery where a black man is one of the villains. Unless we're counting The Birth of a Nation, but we don't talk about that film.

Hell, this film even fixes a problem I have with The Princess Bride in the form of Django.... 's wife. How? Because she gets just as punished and abused as Django himself, arguably even moreso! Because of this, even though we don't spend much time with her, I feel way more sympathy towards than Buttercup. Physical abuse can go a long way when it comes to sympathy in your film. I mean f***, the first shot we get with Buttercup is her yelling at Westley to do stuff. Hildi's first shot is her getting branded in the f***ing face! (I could be wrong, but it's one of the first shots at least)

However, this film isn't one of my favorite Tarantino flicks for a few reasons. One, it honestly feels a bit too long. Sure, it's around the same length as his other films, but there was a point where I felt like thplot could've ended but just kind of didn't. They kind of do this in Captain Underpants when Mr. Krupp accidentally makes Poopypants huge, but that made more sense because the film is around 90 minutes. Django Unchained, however, is way over 120 minutes, so it just felt unecessary.

Also, and I'll probably get disagreed with on this, but I didn't find Django himself to be that interesting of a character. I'm sure part of it was how Dr. Schultz was stealing most of the show, but another reason is that I don't find Jamie Foxx to be that good of an actor. I don't know, something about his articulation and pacing just rubs me the wrong way for some reason. And once Dr. Schults (spoilers) gets killed, Django has to carry the rest of the film by himself, and it's just not as interesting. Fortunately, unlike with Fizzini's death, this happened much later in the film, so it wasn't a huge deal breaker.

This movie is definitely above The Hateful Eight, but just a bit below Kill Bill. And I'm giving this film an 8.5 out of 10.

All right, that's all of them! How do they rank?

7. Justice League
6. The LEGO Ninjago Movie
5. The Princess Bride
4. Loving Vincent
3. The Hitman's Bodyguard
2. Django Unchained
1. The Hangover

RB'sB: Didn't you say you watched 9 films?

Oh yeah, I just rewatched Captain Underpants and Coco. My opinion hasn't changed on the former, and I appreciate the latter even more now. And there you have it!

RB'sB: I still think it's a bad idea to post this review without addressing The Loud House dude.

Whatever, I'm already posting it. To quote Bubsy, "What could possibly go wrong?"

RB'sB: I've got a baaad feeling aobut this.


  • Listening to: Ninja Sex Party
  • Reading: Frankenstein
  • Watching: TMNT 2012
  • Playing: Horizon Zero Dawn
  • Eating: Pop Tarts
  • Drinking: Apple Juice
Sorry about my inactivity as of late. I haven't even posted an update for a week, and my last journal was nearly a month ago. And it wasn't even a real review! To put a long story short, I've been super busy with school, tennis, and starring in my theater's production of Treasure Island. I promise I'll get back into things real soon, but until then, here's a video I made portraying how I reacted to Infinity War!




Don't worry, there are zero spoilers here, and for those who are confused, I thought the film was excellent. But that ending man.
  • Listening to: Game Grumps
  • Reading: Frankenstein
  • Watching: Red vs Blue
  • Playing: Splatoon 2
  • Eating: Ice Cream
  • Drinking: Water
It was the middle of the day. I was currently recovering from my big trip to Europe by laying around and watching some Game Grumps. Until an inciting incident occurred.

Arin: You've never played the penis game before?

Danny: Umm... depends.

Arin: Well the idea of the game is that two people say the word "penis" as quietly as possible. And then the next person has to say it louder. The one who loses is whoever refuses to go any louder.

Danny: Oh yeah, this sounds familiar.

Arin: Well back in high school, everyone hated playing the penis game with me because I would always win immediately. Someone would be like, 'All right let's play the penis game. Ready? Penis. Okay now you go Arin.' 

PENIS!!!!!!!!

*LAUGHTER*

AHAHAHA! Oh my gosh, that's even funnier the tenth time!

RB'sB: *bursts through the door* Dude, shut up! You have been laughing so loudly for the last five hours! Can you please do something else other than watching Game Grumps?!

Sorry man, but I'm a procrastinator. And procrastinators take a while to get back in the groove of things, especially after spending a week in Europe. Have you seen their bathrooms?!

RB'sB: Well you're gonna have to get off your butt eventually because this is not healthy for you. Why don't you write one of those reviews?

A review? But I don't have anything to review.

RB'sB: Why don't you do a Top 8 list? You seem to get a lot of mileage out of those.

A Top 8 list, eh? Well, I'm not ready to move onto season 2 of everything yet, and the rest of my favorite shows don't give me a whole lot to talk about. As much as I love shows like Gumball and Spongebob, they don't give me a lot of insightful material.

RB'sB: Surely there's at least one more cartoon out there. Why not Red vs Blue?

Not enough people watch that show. I may like what I'm doing, but I'm here for the views bro. I need 'em!

RB'sB: Well if you're really here for the views, how come you've never reviewed the Loud House? Isn't that the most popular cartoon on the site?

Wait, the Loud House? A show about a boy named Lincoln who has to navigate his way through the chaos that is his family since he has ten sisters, while also learning valuable lessons everyday that bring them closer together (with a side of lowbrow humor)? Do you mean that one?

RB'sB: No, the other show called Loud House. YES I MEAN THAT ONE!!!! I'm honestly surprised you haven't talked about the show before considering how popular it is here. Hell, it gives Sonic the Hedgehog a run for its money when it comes to creepy DeviantArt pictures. And the only times you ever actually have mentioned the show was in status updates just to complain about an episode you hated like Back Out There, City Slickers, and Insta-gran. How come you never talk about the good episodes of the show?

......... Well brother. Do you really want to know why I never talk about the good episodes of The Loud House?

RB'sB: I mean, it's not killing me, but yeah I'm curious.

Then I have three words for you.






















































































































































































































































































































*skip to 0:08*






Now, you all are probably wondering why I think a good Loud House episode doesn't exist.

RB'sB: .....Well?

Have a happy April Fools Day everybody!

RB'sB: No, wait a minute! You can't just say a good Loud House episode doesn't exist and then proceed to not elaborate. You'll be eviscerated! Tell these people why you th-

Oh would you look at the time! It's beautiful isn't it?




  • Listening to: Game Grumps
  • Reading: Frankenstein
  • Watching: Red vs Blue
  • Playing: Splatoon 2
  • Eating: Ice Cream
  • Drinking: Water
All right, I don't know about you guys, but I'd say my Captain Underpants review was a resounding success! So what now? More reviews? More comparisons? How about absolutely nothing for the next two weeks?

Let me explain. I'm not deactivating, but I'm not going to be very active for a while. I'll still comment on stuff and make the occasional update, but that won't be my biggest priority when I'm in Europe for the next few weeks :D That's right everybody, I'm going international!!!

I'll do my best to post as many pictures as I can when I get back. This is a journey I'll want to remember for a long time.

This is also the reason I've been waking up so early recently. Consider it a type of preparation. I'll be leaving my home around 2:00 CST, so I'll keep you all updated 'til then.

Oh and what the heck, how about just one more comparison for the road? I hope you all like a little bit of pink!


  • Listening to: Game Grumps
  • Reading: Frankenstein
  • Watching: Red vs Blue
  • Playing: Splatoon 2
  • Eating: Ice Cream
  • Drinking: Water
Hey there everybody. I suppose this one's been a long time coming. I can't really remember the last time I hyped a film up so much after immediately coming out of the theater. Hell, I don't remember even being this excited for a film before even seeing it. Yes, even more than The Avengers, Deadpool, MLP the Movie, Coco, and a bunch of other great films I saw in theaters.

I didn't even have a nostalgic connection to the books as a kid. That's right, I'm sure some of you were expecting me to talk about how I had always wanted to see a film adaptation for one of my favorite book series ever, but that would be hard considering I hadn't actually read any of them. When these books got really popular, it was around the time that I started to really hate reading and wouldn't waste my time with opening a single page. Yep, I was too picky to read Captain f***ing Underpants as a child. What is wrong with me?

Nonetheless, some time around last year I found out that this would be getting a film adaptation after so many years. I make sure to stay as up to date as possible when it comes to anything related to animation, and I thought the idea of a Captain Underpants film made a lot of sense. I sort of knew the basic premise of the series by that point thanks to my brother who actually DID read the books.

RB'sB: So this is my fault then? Well s***.

I was aware that the story followed two best friends named George and Harold who hypnotize their principal into thinking he's one of their comic book creations, Captain Underpants. Throw in some toilet humor and meta humor, and you've got a book series that took the world by storm. For better or worse. In 2012, the American Library Association reported that Captain Underpants books were the most frequently challenged books of that year. Apparently a bunch of schools banned it for violence, crude humor, and challenging kids to disobey authority. 



I mean seriously? It's Captain freaking Underpants for crying out loud you guys! This isn't, like, some sort of ultra violent story with tons of graphic content and themes of anarchy. That's where The Hunger Games comes in. But honestly, I don't think parents should have to worry about their kids becoming hooligans after reading stuff like Captain Underpants. Besides, we all watched Kids Next Door as kids, and that show pretty much stated that adults are evil and kids rule the world. And we all turned out fine... for the most part I think.

So no, I don't think a book called Captain Underpants should be banned for bad messages. Although I would understand if the reason was for it being so stupid. Because.... yeah, this is a pretty stupid concept. It pretty much seems like an avenue for the writer to tell easy toilet humor jokes as well as some gross out. Now that I think about it, I probably should've been terrified when the film was announced. Not just because of how lazy most comedic kids films have gotten recently, but because it was being produced by DreamWorks.

Sure, they gave us stuff like the Kung Fu Panda trilogy and How to Train Your Dragon, but whenever they put out stuff that isn't epic and story-driven, we get some pretty low brow crap. Sometimes it works like in Shrek 2 and Madagascar, and other times it fails miserably like with Shark Tale and Home. However, looking back on it, I feel pretty confident saying this movie wouldn't have been as good if other animation companies had it, and I'll explain why later. Let's get back on track with the history.

Some concept art started getting released that honestly looked kind of promising. It certainly looked unique compared to other DreamWorks movies. Hell, most movies in general. Even though I didn't read the books, I was always able to appreciate Dav Pilkey's wonderful art style. 

RB'sB: Um, I think you're missing an "E".

Nope, that's his actual name. Dav.

RB'sB: Really? That's a more ridiculous name than Carrick.

Hey! Any more lip and I'll feed you to the toilets!

RB'sB: We have Talking Toilets?!

No, I'm just gonna give you a swirly.  Anywho, images are one thing. Seeing them in motion is an entirely different animal. Well, on March 22, I finally got a chance to see that when this came out.



Again, I didn't watch this trailer for any reason other than I try to stay as up to date as I can on most animated media. But despite the fact that I wasn't expecting much, I don't think I've ever gotten so quickly hyped for a movie before. All it took was two minutes to convince me to want to see this in theaters and not just online. I WANTED to throw my money at this, or at least my grandfather's money since I saw it with him as well as my brother.

RB'sB: I still can't believe you got me to watch this thing.

ANYWAY, I'm honestly not completely sure why I got so hyped for something that I thought nothing of mere minutes ago. After writing this review, I think I figured out the reason. Again, I'll be getting to that later.

I was so excited for this movie that I did everything I could to surround myself with anything related to Captain Underpants by learning more about the premise, scouring as many details as I could about the film's production, looking at interviews, and eventually reading the actual books for the first time. I got as far as the fifth one, and they're not half bad. Honestly though, I feel like I would've eaten this stuff up as a kid. Now I feel kind of bad for never actually giving them a shot. I might've been excited for this film a lot sooner.

Anyway, cut to about two months later, it was the movie weekend of June 2, and I had to choose between either seeing this film or Wonder Woman. Needless to say, I went with the former, and I haven't regretted this decision for a moment of my life. Especially after seeing Wonder Woman on my Kindle. Should I review that movie? Eh, I'll probably just do a character comparison.

And after leaving the theater, the film met my expectations, took them out to dinner, treated them like royalty, asked them to marry him, raised a family, and died in each others arms at the same time Notebook-style. Hell, my grandfather even loved the film, and he thought it was gonna suck! Can you really blame him though? It's Captain freaking Underpants! What makes this film so special? Well, it's time for me to finally put my money where my mouth is and tell you guys why this film is a masterpiece.

RB'sB: More like disaster-piece. If you think you can keep me quiet this whole time and not complain-

Actually I was counting on that.

RB'sB: -then you've got another thing- .... Wait, are you serious? You're not gonna tell me to shut up when I s*** on this stupid thing?

No, it's your opinion after all. What gives me the right to dictate how you think? Besides, I could use a good straw-man for some parts.

RB'sB: Well thanks Carrick. I didn't think you'd- ...hold on! Did you just say STRAW-MAN?!?!?!

This is Captain Underpants everybody! 

Now, some of you might be confused why I'm calling this my "first epic movie review" when I've already reviewed films before. Well, other than to have a clever title, this is the first time I'll be dedicating an entire journal to one film alone. If that isn't telling enough of how much I adore this movie, then I don't know what would be. As for the format, I'll start with a synopsis followed by various topics for discussing what makes this film so great. It might get a little disorganized, so try to stick with me to the end. I promise it will all come together. There will also be plenty of comparisons to other films, mostly ones I've reviewed previously. So I guess those Randomated Film Reviews were sort of like training for me. Finally, and I can't stress this enough-

WATCH THE FILM BEFORE READING THIS REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Our story follows two kids named George Beard and Harold Hutchins. George is the kid with the tie, and Harold is the kid with the bad haircut. Remember that. They are best friends who love to spend their days making comics and making each other laugh. But not everyone is as optimistic as our two main heroes, like Mr. Krupp, the principal of Jerome Horwitz elementary school, which George and Harold attend. He has a vendetta against these two boys because of all the pranks they pull at the school to help lighten the mood for their fellow students. Up to this point, he's never actually been able to prove that the two are responsible for all of the mayhem.

But that all changes when George and Harold's arch-nemesis Melvin Sneedly uses one of his inventions to catch the two performing their latest prank on camera. Overjoyed that he finally caught them, Mr. Krupp gives them the worst punishment imaginable.... putting them in separate classes!!!! Worried their friendship will be over, they try to steal the evidence but to no avail. In a last ditch effort, George uses the Hypno Ring he found in Mr. Krupp's confiscation drawer to stop him from signing the papers that would officially separate the two boys. And much to the surprise of everyone, it actually f***ing works! After having some fun with their hypnotized principal, George and Harold come up with the best command of them all. Every time they snap their fingers, he will become the greatest superhero of all time... the amazing CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS!!! TRA LA LAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Unfortunately, the fun times don't last too long because Captain Underpants quickly runs off trying to stop any crimes. Worried he'll hurt himself, George and Harold chase after him to keep him from getting hurt. Now they must keep Captain Underpants under control while also keeping Mr. Krupp away so he can't separate them, all while a man named Professor Poopypants tries to find a way to get rid of all of the world's laughter so people will stop cracking up at his ridiculous name. Plenty of physics-breaking antics and humor related to bodily functions ensue.

Let's cut right to the chase with our first topic-

Beautiful, Fluid Animation and Unique Visuals

Most reviewers say that the animation isn't that important when it comes to something's quality, but I do firmly believe it's crucial when it comes to first impressions. If a show looks well designed, then I'll probably be more likely to watch it. That's why I jumped on Final Space so quickly. However, animation has had a really serious problem recently.

And no, it's not looking ugly. Superjail! proved to me that a show can look really unappealing yet still look well made. My problem with animation recently is that it has gotten way too "same-y". What do I mean by this? Well, all you have to do is apply this test to multiple cartoons. Take any random background character from, let's say, Star vs the Forces of Evil, Gravity Falls, Steven Universe, and We Bare Bears. Now tell me, would you be able to immediately recognize what show they hail from?

Because I certainly couldn't! I even like most of the shows that I just listed. But it's undeniable that cartoons seem to be getting less and less creative from a visual standpoint, and that kind of upsets me. This is why Gumball is one of my favorite current cartoons right now. Hell, for as much crap as people give to OK K.O.'s animation, at least it has its own distinct style. And movies are even worse about this!

There's hardly anything interesting to look at now. Nearly every Disney movie looks exactly the same as the last one. Same with Sony, DreamWorks, and Hell, even Pixar (as much as I love them) has gotten pretty predictable with their designs. Not helping is that CG is pretty much the go-to now, making creative designs even harder to find. Now I'm not saying that every single animated film needs to look completely different from everything else, but I sincerely believe that animators finding their own voice is what turns good movies into great ones.

Another thing that kind of bothers me is how hyper realistic some studios are trying to get. Stuff like The Good Dinosaur and Turbo are prime examples of this. For some odd reason, they feel the need to make backgrounds and characters look so detailed that they're not even cartoons anymore. It hasn't gotten that bad yet, but are any of you guys actually into cartoons for how "realistic" they look? Personally, the reason I fell in love with cartoons is because they're capable of being much more interesting and entertaining than live action. So trying to replicate that with photo realistic backgrounds and objects gets rid of the charm that cartoons have in the first place.

Now let's take a look at what Captain Underpants does. Even though I never read the books as a kid, I do remember thinking the drawings were great to look at, and I still firmly believe this! Dav Pilkey did something truly special here by crafting charming and unique designs for his world. It's impossible to explain why his drawings are so appealing, they just are. Good art is a feeling that can't always be explained.

I was a little skeptical hearing that DreamWorks would animate the film because I wasn't sure they were the right studio to animate this. And you know what? I was right, because this is the first DreamWorks film to actually be outsourced. Captain Underpants is animated by Mikros Image, a Canadian studio best known for animating Little Prince. Thank God they did because this film looks outstanding!

RB'sB: This movie should've been hand drawn.

Ah yes, the old "2D is best D" argument. First of all, I'm gonna be real with you guys, there's no point at all in saying a film should've been hand drawn. Plenty of films could've been: Tangled, Frozen, Hotel Transylvania, Rio, etc. The way I see it, why don't we focus on what we do have instead of what we don't? Here, I'll try it right now. Mikros managed to perfectly capture Dav's wonderful style in a way that simply can't be matched. This film may be CG, but it looks absolutely nothing like any other film I've seen. I wouldn't have even known this was DreamWorks if not for the logo. The closest they've gotten to a cartoon-y style was with Trolls and The Boss Baby. Captain Underpants works better than Trolls because it goes all the way with its cartoon-y style instead of hinting at it, and it works better than The Boss Baby because the design isn't uncanny as f***.

Before this movie came out, the closest a 3D movie got to looking like a cartoon IMO was with Hotel Transylvania. Even though I still really like that movie, Captain Underpants pulls it off a lot better because it managed to find a style that can get away with a lot more antics while still looking believable (in a canny sense, not a physics one). Because of this, little things like the facial expressions and movements have more freedom and look friggin' beautiful. I wonder how much this film cost.

*one Google search later*

$38 MILLION?!?!?!




I need a moment you guys. That is low. Like, ridiculously and freakishly low.

RB'sB: Movies should always have high budgets. If something is cheap than it'll look cheap.

You know how much The Good Dinosaur cost right? $200 MILLION!!! If Captain Underpants isn't even worth an eighth of that amount, then why does it look so much better?

For starters, money isn't everything obviously. It's how one uses it. I could make a $100 million budget film that looks cheap as Hell because I spent most of that money on the catering. But I also truly believe that this film wouldn't have looked nearly as good if it wasn't limited by the budget. And it's not like this is some Sausage Party scenario where the animators were all abused. I even heard that they had a great time with the film's production (and it shows).

Because the budget was so small, it challenged the crew to get as creative as possible with the visuals. It may not look as grand or epic as other movies, but it doesn't need to. Hell, The Boss Baby may be similar in that sense, but its budget was $125 million. Where did all of that money go to?!?! Captain Underpants proves that just because it's cheap that doesn't mean it has to look cheap. Still don't believe me? Foodfight costs nearly twice as much as this film. Go ahead and let that sink in.

Hell, if the CG still turns you off, this movie isn't even entirely CG. From the very beginning, we get a taste of this movie's creative design when it opens up with the origin of Captain Underpants told in the style of Harold's drawings. It's pretty impressive that this film still manages to look awesome despite the crude comic drawings. And it works because it replicates the books, it was drawn by a kid, and once again, it's charming and creative as Hell. 

I will give any CG movie bonus points if they find a way to sneak in different mediums of animation. Moana did this with Maui's tattoo, Coco did this with the Mexican paper flags, and even The Boss Baby did this with some of the imagination sequences. Not only does Captain Underpants have that opening segment with the comic book, it also has flash animation to depict George and Harold's brains, flip-o-rama to help out with the low budget, and best of all, mother f***ing sock puppetry!

Seriously, I cannot praise the art department enough for how much they achieved with so little to work with. Dav's style is faithfully recreated, it looks like no other animated film, movements are wonderfully fluid, facial expressions are creative and fun, and it gets as experimental as it can without distracting itself too much from the story. Also, the hair is very well designed. Kind of reminds me of Inside Out in a way. But looks aren't everything. How do the characters and voice actors do?

Fun Characters with Wonderful Actors

Another way this film sticks out from others is the way it treats its characters and their developments.

RB'sB: But this film is based on a book with already established characters. It has an unfair advantage.

Well Home was based on a book too, so just because you have source material to work with that doesn't mean it's hard to f*** up. Besides, adaptations shouldn't be word for word re-tellings. What would be the fun in that?


First on the list, George and Harold. I figured I'd talk about them at the same time since they're basically a package deal. These two are an absolute delight and one of the many many things this film gets so right. The entire weight of this film's conflict solely relies on how much we want to see these two be together, which is why it's so important that their friendship is written well. 

George and Harold may have one of the strongest chemistries of any onscreen duo I've ever seen. Even more than Bill and Ted, Dipper and Mabel, and Lloyd and Harry. Part of it comes down to that I truly believe these two have a strong bond, and it is so sweet to watch. This is exemplified in one of my favorite scenes in the movie where we see the two simply hanging out together in their treehouse. They make each other laugh, they create together, they feel comfortable around each other, and it's just so friggin' adorable. You guys thought I was joking with that Best Movie Couples meme, but I was sort of serious.

One nice change of pace is that unlike most kids films, our two buddy characters are on equal grounds. This isn't like most films where it's something like Harold's Epic Movie with George being the comedic black sidekick. The formula is generally to focus on some cookie cutter white bread kid mainly while his best friend sidekick (this can range from him being black, nerdy, or fat) to occasionally come in for comic relief. Since this film focuses on both equally, it helps keep their friendship from feeling one sided like so many other movies. And it makes sense that they'd do this since their friendship is the driving force of this movie. We should be rooting for both characters for the exact same reasons.

The writers also did a good job of differentiating the two enough to where they're not the exact same character. George writes stories while Harold draws the panels, giving them sort of a symbiotic relationship. George tends to come up with the plans while Harold is prone to freaking out, as seen in the awesome sock puppet segment. And their relationship isn't totally perfect like in say, The Perfect Pear. They tend to disagree sometimes and even get a little angry at each other (remember the dolphin debacle?), something totally normal for friends. But this doesn't mean we had to sit through ANOTHER STUPID G** DAMN SPLIT UP SCENE!!! What we get instead is something completely beyond their control. Seeing two people that love each other getting forcibly split up is way more sad to me than contrived arguing.

RB'sB: But that scene didn't make any sense. Why didn't George and Harold just snap their fingers when they were inside away from the rain?

I'll admit, I thought that was a little weird the first time I saw that. But upon further reflection, here's the way I see it. Up to this point, George and Harold were doing everything in their power to keep Captain Underpants around, to the point where they even considered taking shifts. But then we see him turning back into Mr. Krupp constantly no matter how hard they tried. And by the time it started raining, they pretty much gave up hope. They know that they can't keep this up forever and are only delaying the inevitable. All they could do was except their fate, and it's incredibly heart breaking.

RB'sB: But they're only getting put into separate classes, they can still be friends after school.

Hey, they're kids. What did you expect? Kids tend to blow the tiniest things way out of proportion. Even though we now it's silly, it doesn't matter what we think because it upsets them. Mr. Krupp says he'll separate them about 20 minutes into the movie, and by that time, George and Harold's relationship had already been well developed in spades. Seeing them dejected by the prospect of not getting to see each other during school makes me feel dejected. Also, by the end of the movie, they finally realize themselves that it was silly of them to freak out about being put in separate classes. It's a little thing called character development.

Another thing I like about them is actually a somewhat big change from the book. In the book, they didn't just prank the teachers. They pranked everybody, and they mostly just did it for s***s and giggles. Here, they only prank the faculty, and they do it to bring joy to their fellow classmates. Jerome Horwitz is a school that shuns individuality and fun, so George and Harold were left with no other choice. They're sort of like the Robin Hoods of this school. Oh, and we have a kids movie where the main characters are actually beloved at school and not outcasts. Yet another refreshing change of pace!

Finally, these two wouldn't work nearly as well together if it weren't for the voice talents of Kevin Hart and Thomas Middleditch.

RB'sB: But they sound too much like adults.

Sorry, but no. They may have relatively deep voices for kids, but they do something much more important than that. They manage to capture the spirits of children, much better than most child actors could do I'd bet. These two are telling the whole story and carry most of the film's weight, which is why I think getting actual kids for the job would've been way too risky. You all know how I feel about kids, and my patience likely would've ran thin if I had to listen to them for an entire movie. Besides, at least Kevin and Thomas aren't as blatant as Zac Efron and Taylor Swift in The Lorax. (Why do I get the feeling this won't be the last time I bring up The Lorax?)

Heck, I barely even noticed it was Kevin Hart half the time because he's a lot more controlled here than for most of his roles, and I think that's great, especially for DreamWorks! I can live with getting celebrities for your animated films, but at least get ones who can freaking act. DreamWorks films are notorious for getting really big names to just play animated versions of themselves. You've got Shrek, Shark Tale, Madagascar, The Bee Movie, Home, The Boss Baby, and as amazing as Kung Fu Panda and How to Train Your Dragon are, they both basically just star animated versions of Jack Black and Jay Baruchel. The only DreamWorks films I've ever seen that don't use celebrities just to play themselves are The Road to El Dorado and Rise of the Guardians. So let's all be thankful that the casting director chose people who could actually freaking act and not just Rihanna. Still not letting that one go!!!


Up next is Mr. Krupp and Captain Underpants. Once again, even though they're completely different characters, they're kind of a package deal. Mr. Krupp is a perfect antithesis to George and Harold's fun loving natures. He's a curmudgeon through and through, and he has some of the funniest moments in the film.

Mr. Krupp: This morning's school sign is supposed to read "Sewage Treatment Plant Field Trips are Today." So could either of you two please explain to me why it now reads, "COME SEE MY HAIRY ARM PITS!!!!"?

Grumpy characters tend to be very easy for writers to tell a lot of jokes because of their angry reactions. I find these kinds of people very entertaining to watch. You guys know how I feel about other grumpy people.



But then the film makers did something with him that I did not expect at all. After the boys find out what triggers his transformation back and forth, they take a passed out Mr. Krupp to his home on Curmudgeon Boulevard. When they get to his house, they of course expect to see something as scary and horrifying as him. But when they open the door, it turns out he actually has a really nice place. After a little bit of snooping, they quickly realize that Mr. Krupp's cynical behavior comes from his loneliness. There's only one fork, his fridge is practically empty, and he has two towels that say "His" and "Still His".

I adore this scene, and it's one of my favorites in the film. It completely subverts our expectations of Mr. Krupp because up to this point, much like George and Harold, we had never actually considered that Mr. Krupp had feelings. It would've been so easy for this film to just write him off as a one dimensional authority figure with zero redeeming qualities. It even makes George and Harold afraid that they might end up like him one day, especially if they're put in separate classes. So not only does this scene develop Mr. Krupp, it also gives George and Harold more motivation to keep Captain Underpants around. Speaking of which-

TRA LA LAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I wasn't sure how many A's to put in Tra La La, so I'll just put 13 :D Captain Underpants is wonderful in this movie. His concept in general is incredibly fascinating as well. If your OC suddenly came to life one day, what would you do? 

They may be the same person, but Mr. Krupp and Captain Underpants really are two entirely separate characters. He embodies all the best parts about superheroes while at the same time is an awesome parody of them. Most superheros look like they're flying around in their underwear. Well this guy actually does! He has his catch phrases and is ready to fight evil at a moment's notice. The only problem is that he's a total dumb a**.

RB'sB: Captain Underpants' stupidity is way too annoying and unbelievable.

Well, there are a few reasons I believe his cluelessness works here. For starters, he is the boys' creation, so he's basically acting the way he was written (both in a literal and meta sense). Second, George and Harold work as great straight men and keep him under control to the best of their abilities. His stupidity also has a point most of the time and moves the plot forward in some way, such as renting a carnival or turning the villain super huge. Finally, even if you don't find him as lovable as me, he honestly doesn't have that much screen time despite being the titular character. This is George and Harold's story after all, and the writers use as much Captain Underpants as they need to.

With all that said, I have to give major props to Ed Helms for his absolutely breath taking performance here. This role could not have been cast any better. He transitions between the cynically controlling Mr. Krupp and the adorable idiot Captain Underpants beautifully. His performance is so good that they actually feel like two completely different characters. There's one great scene where George and Harold have fun by constantly turning him into Mr. Krupp and Captain Underpants. Not only is the comedic timing here top notch, but Ed's quick voice changes between both characters are totally seamless. Ed, I don't know what you're doing now, but please consider doing more voice acting. You could make any film good!

RB'sB: What about the Lorax?

He was in that? SON OF A-




But every superhero needs a good supervillain. Our hero's name is Captain Underpants, so Professor Poopypants seems like a fitting villain name. Poopypants is a wonderful villain here. He's prone to out bursts, is incredibly smart, and he even has insecurities. 

RB'sB: He's yet another villain who pretends to be a good guy but is so obviously bad news. How did he even get that job anyway?

Well for starters, he came around when Captain Underpants was at the helm, and he's an idiot. And Professor Poopypants may be an obvious bad guy, but his nature fits with the tone and wackiness of the world, an element I'll be getting into later. In his case, his mannerisms and dialogue are so imaginative and out there that I'm laughing too much to care. This is the kind of character who will use this as an explanation to trap children in cages.

Poopypants: BECAUSE I HATE CHILDREN! AND LAUGHTER! AND I HAVE A CAGE IN A BRIEFCASE!!!!

He's even kind of sympathetic in a way. His main motivation is that people won't stop laughing at his ridiculous name. This may sound like a bad motivation, but unlike Broly for example, it fits the tone of the story quite nicely and isn't supposed to be taken seriously. It's even kind of relatable. We've all had moments of insecurity, but like George says, "The problem is that you have to learn how to laugh at yourself."

And of course, the icing on the cake is Nick Kroll's hilarious performance. He's kind of been on a role recently with animation. First Sausage Party, then Big Mouth, and now he can add Captain Underpants to his resume! I would mention Sing as well, but I'm pretty sure most people forgot about that one. In any case, keep on being crazy Nick!

Some other characters worth mentioning include Melvin Sneedly, and he's fairly entertaining along with everyone else. He's definitely a great warning sign for kids to show how boring and d***-ish people can be without a sense of humor. Plus Jordan Peele is virtually unrecognizable here. And finally there's Edith the lunch lady. Again, not too much to talk about, but she served as a great vehicle for bestowing some humanity on Mr. Krupp. Also, can we be thankful that casting directors finally gave Kristen Schaal a chance to NOT be Mabel for the millionth time?

Simple Yet Effective Story

This'll be a shorter segment, but I just wanted to talk about why this film's narrative is amazing.

RB'sB: What's so amazing about it? Barely anything happens! The conflict isn't even that big. The boys are just trying to save their friendship and laughter. This feels like an extended big budget cartoon episode.

Ah yes, because every single movie has to be as dramatic and filled with weight as Coco right? Look guys, I'm not saying stories with lots of drama and high stakes are a bad thing, but is no one else here the littlest bit relieved by this film's existence? It's a pretty simple story of course, but I for one consider this to be a massive breath of fresh air.

I don't remember an animated film being this fun since The Emperor's New Groove. This movie almost feels like DreamWorks' answer to that film honestly. Think about it. Both films use a lot of cartoon logic. Both films have relatively low stakes and simple stories. Both films are also massively different from their respective studios' other works. And both films value characters and comedy over drama and weight. I guess it's no wonder that I fell in love with Captain Underpants in that case, because I freaking love Emperor's New Groove and find it as underrated as everyone else on the internet. Although I'm wondering if it actually counts as underrated now considering how many people talk about it presently. I guess that depends on your definition.

As for the removal of laughter not being that important, that's kind of missing the point of the whole film. Captain Underpants not only celebrates friendship, but it also celebrates any and all kinds of laughter. Comedy can bring people together, give the hopeless some hope, and even save the world. A planet without laughter would be mundane, tedious, and just terrible. 

People without a sense of humor can either be as uptight and annoying as Melvin Sneedly, or as hateful and paranoid as Poopypants. That's another point for writing the villains in such a way to fit the message.

So yeah, I feel like Captain Underpants is a surprisingly important film in today's current climate. Between all the war, insults, sexual allegations, and reminders that human beings have a long way to go, don't you guys think it's good to have a film for kids that simply celebrates the concept of joy and spreading it to others? Personally, I think this makes Captain Underpants one of the most important kids films in recent memory, and it deserves to be remembered for generations. 

RB'sB: Oh good, we're at the end of this review. Now we can finally move on!

Sorry bro, but this is just the end of Part 1. We're merely getting started here!!!!

RB'sB: 


Quick, Part 2 is right here. Click it or this bomb strapped to my chest will explode!!! .... Please? My First Epic Movie Review/75 Watchers! (Part 2)
  • Listening to: Game Grumps
  • Reading: Frankenstein
  • Watching: Red vs Blue
  • Playing: Splatoon 2
  • Eating: Hogie
  • Drinking: Capri Sun
If you haven't read Part 1 yet, then what the heck are you doing here?

DreamWorks Was The Best Studio For This

I really and truly believe this, and I'll be going by each major studio step by step to justify this.

Disney- They could've possibly done it, but they haven't done silly stories in a really long time, and I'm not sure that they're still cut out for it. Also, I don't trust them to not make a live action version of this movie in twenty years just because. Do you guys have any idea how absolutely horrendous this story would be for live action? Movies about grown men in their underwear hanging out with two kids NEEDS to be animated.



Pixar- Other than Cars 2, Pixar is probably too above concepts like Captain Underpants. And they likely would've made the animation too realistic and the story too dramatic.

Illumination- They may be good at character animation, but their designs leave a lot to be desired. Plus, you can't convince that they wouldn't just make the Talking Toilets the new Minions.

Sony- Exact opposite problem of Pixar where these guys would probably take toilet humor WAY too far.

Laika- NOPE!!!

Blue Sky- These guys would probably be the closest ones to getting Captain Underpants right. A lot of compare this film's animation to The Peanuts movie for good reason. But there's one tiny problem. Despite how similar both films are, The Peanuts Movie costs nearly THREE TIMES as much money as Captain Underpants. So if Blue Sky handed the animation, this movie would probably be a lot more expensive and not nearly as successful.

On the other hand, DreamWorks is not above toilet humor, their films have gotten a lot more cartoon-y recently (for better or worse), and the animation issue was solved by the outsourcing. So I'm glad DreamWorks had this film and treated it correctly, even if the advertising wasn't all that big.

Toilet Humor Can Be Done Well?!?!

And even if everyone doesn't see this film in the same light as me, at least we can all agree that its timeless humor will never die.

RB'sB: But it uses potty humor. So many other films and shows have been lambasted for it, so why should this movie get a pass?

It's all in the execution my dear brother. Like I said earlier, Captain Underpants, in and of itself, is a pretty stupid concept. But with the right amount of imagination and effort, anything can turn out well. Take this film's use of toilet humor for example. It's certainly there and in full force, but every time it appeared it felt like there was an air of professionalism and effort throughout the whole project that many other films like The Nut Job and The Emoji Movie sorely lack.

Something that helps is that this film is so over the top and imaginative that it can make even the dumbest and simplest things hilarious. Take this one scene for example where George and Harold learn that the P in their new teacher's name stands for Poopypants. Most films would just have the boys laugh, but Captain Underpants will have their characters break out into a f***ing religious hymn to show how over-joyed they are at this momentous occasion.

There's also the concert scene, or as I like to call it, the 1812 O-fart-ture. There are so many things going on all at once that I can't help but laugh at the orchestral music getting backed by various gross out sounds like arm pit farts, cracking knuckles, whoopee cushions, booger shooting, and so many other bell and whistles. This film also has wonderful pacing, so even if you cringe here, it's over and done with before you know it. And of course the icing on top are all of those fake reviews from people like Harold's piano teacher, a random guy, and Dav Pilkey himself!

But the most important thing about the toilet humor is that's not there for the sake of it. It's actually an integral part of the plot. Even if you don't find it funny, the point is that the characters find it funny. And because these characters are so lovable, you might end up finding yourself laughing along with them. To me, this is different from something like can laughter in a sit com. I know they're supposed to influence me to laugh too, but I don't know who any of these disembodied voices are. A much better example that works on me would be the Game Grumps. I love these two dorks, so if they break into hysterics, I'll probably be right there along with them. And they make lazy fart jokes all the time! Same goes double time for George and Harold.

Hell, unlike most kids film, the toilet humor will even follow the rule "if it has no affect on the plot it should be cut out." A prime example is my favorite use of Chekhov's gun in a film when George and Harold are about to have their laughter taken away forever by Professor Poopypants. As he celebrates the prospects of removing laughter all over the universe, he makes the fatal mistake of mentioning Uranus among these planets. Very early in the film, George and Harold established that the reason they became friends in the first place was because of how they bonded over this funny-sounding planet.

So, when they first made the anus joke, we all probably thought that would be the end of it right? In reality, this throwaway joke managed to set up one of the most crucial and heart warming moments of the film. Our heroes are saved by a simple joke that brought them together in the first place, proving that laughter and friendship conquer all. How much more inspiring can you get than that? This scene is tense, emotional, funny, visually stunning, and it all comes from a joke about butts. That is mind blowing.

In the end, potty humor is no different from the rest of comedy. It's easy to mess up, but it's also capable of being hilarious.



Comedy in General

Besides, it's not like this movie's comedy relies solely on toilet humor. Any good comedy writer knows that the last thing you want in your jokes is predictability. That's why it's important to have such a high range of comedy at your disposal. 

Captain Underpants has plenty of meta humor moments, most especially with George and Harold. A pet peeve of mine is whenever a film uses narration only at the beginning or end of its run time. Not only is it a clear sign that the writers don't know how to do exposition properly, but it also makes no sense from a narrative stand point. Like, who the Hell are these characters talking to? Some of my favorite movie moments are when it's revealed that the narrator was actually talking to someone the whole time. I've seen this in Coco, Ratatouille, Moana, and every time it felt like the creators were going the extra mile and really cared about their work.

But then you have stories like Captain Underpants where it's actually clearly established that the characters know they're in a movie. Much like Deadpool and Ferris Bueller's Day Off, the narration isn't just there for the sake of it. This story would not be the same if it was taken out entirely. I mentioned in my Mr. Peabody and Sherman review that the opening was bad because Mr. Peabody never ever talks to the audience again. We don't even get some sort of book end! My point is that it felt unneeded, but Captain Underpants has fourth wall breaking throughout its whole run time. If the meta aspect had been cut from this film, we would've lost so many wonderful moments where the boys simply talk to us.

I talked to Aston about the fourth wall breaking in this movie, and he mentioned that a great thing about it is varied it feels. We get jokes like when they think the movie is over twenty minutes into the run time and the fantastic flip-o-rama scene that makes fun of the film's low budget. And for those of you who are tired of the DreamWorks logo jokes that seem to be in ALL of their films now, we actually get a much more simple one. Instead of something like Captain Underpants taking the boy's spot or the moon wearing underpants, we simply get our two heroes humorously singing off key along with the music. Simple, yet effective!

The meta aspect isn't just important from a comedic perspective either. It serves as a way of making the audience feel comfortable, to help us connect with the characters more. It's also pretty clear that the writers have respect for their audience and don't talk down to them like so many other films.

Captain Underpants also does slap stick exceptionally well compared to other films, and this once again comes down to how perfect the animation is. You may remember from my review of The Croods that I said the slap stick failed because it didn't fit with how realistic the animation was trying to look, so moments like when then the dad was shot up into the air and struck by lightning felt more distracting than funny. This is where the benefit of using cartoon-y animation comes into play, since it lets you get away with a lot more stuff.

On the subject of animation, any good animated film will leave plenty of details scattered throughout that makes re-watches more fun. There are plenty of little things in this film that made me laugh the second time through because I didn't remember them. Here are some examples.
  • Mr. Krupp's desk says "Hope Dies Here."
  • George and Harold's tree house had plenty of references to the books, like the Bionic Booger Boy.
  • You can see George and Harold's breaths in Mr. Krupp's office because they feel so cold there.
  • Mr. Krupp has two files. "George & Harold," and "Rest of School."
  • Mr. Krupp eats Not-So-Cheery-O's.
  • Characters tend to have lines appear around them when they move fast, yet another trick that makes the animation more charming.
  • Certi-fried Fresh on Rotten Potatoes.
  • "Professor Poopypants ran out of gas. YOU CAN'T WRITE THIS STUFF!!!"
  • The hilarious names for each section of the child brain.
And I'm sure there are plenty of other small jokes I'm missing. And believe it or not, a film called Captain Underpants even has some social commentary humor in it!

Professor Poopypants: Look what I've got. A tiny school filled with tiny children, and their tiny teachers whose tiny salaries reflect their size and also the value society puts on education.

My grandfather was in the movie theater with me, and he nearly busted a gut at how funny and real that line was. It wouldn't be out of place in something like Sonic Boom. Further proof of how brilliant and amazing this film-

RB'sB: ENOUGH ALREADY!!! This is ridiculous you fool! There's no way you're going to convince me that a film called Captain Underpants is as smart and insightful as you say it is. And even so, who the Hell cares about it anyway? It's just for kids!

... Wait a minute, I think I'm starting to see the problem here.

RB'sB: What are you talking about?

I don't think you hate this film nearly as much as you say you do. I mean, there's nothing wrong with hating this movie. I'm sure there are some fans of the original books who are very purist and others who are just turned off by potty humor no matter what. I'm totally fine with that. But dude, I know you. You love potty humor. At least whenever it's done well like most comedy. I don't think you hate this movie. I think, sort of like DreamWorks, you're embarrassed by it.

RB'sB: Embarrassed?

I certainly don't blame you. It's a story called Captain Underpants after all. Anybody would feel a little weird watching this movie, let alone saying it's a masterpiece. This is clearly something made just for kids right? That brings me to my next and final point.

It Makes People Feel Like Kids Again

I'm not afraid to admit that this film is made specifically for children, but just because something is aimed at that audience doesn't mean it has to be as mindless as Peppa Pig or Dora. You and I even saw firsthand what this movie is like for little kids. When we went to the movie theater, there happened to be a birthday party screening the film filled with a bunch of adorable tots, and they were having a blast. It's part of the reason I love going to theaters so much because it feels like we're all having fun together despite not knowing each other.

But it also made me realize something. Whenever people put as much and effort and heart into media like this, anyone can enjoy it. I still say that this film is purely for kids because it brings your inner child out of you. Captain Underpants is a movie that truly makes you feel like a kid again. And if that's not the greatest example of escapism, I don't know what is.

RB'sB: Well... I...

I understand if you're still on the fence about this. But there's no need to feel ashamed anymore. I know you feel weird and alone, but you're not! Just look at all of these smart, fun, and wonderful people who liked the film too!

:iconshadowgamer20:: While it doesn't have the best plot in the world and the characters are not the most developed, it makes up for it with a great sense of humor, top notch voice acting, and brilliantly energized animation. It's not only a great movie, but a great example of how important expressive and cartoony animation really is for cartoons, and I wish more animation nowerdays had the same level of insanity that Captain Underpants had. I give it an 8/10.

:iconloudcartoonist99:
While Captain Underpants is far from being one of the best animated movies out there, I won't deny this is the best non-sequel movie Dreamworks made in a long time. While it does have some issues like a sense of predictability and sometimes it can get a little carried away with embracing the childish tone, what makes this movie great is that it goes all the way with how stupid it is. Like The LEGO Movie, Captain Underpants knows that it's a movie that's about a hero that literally is wearing his underpants, and it does all it can with it while also being well executed in and of itself thanks to how the tone stays consistently silly, the jokes themselves actually working thanks to the extremely creative animation and the voice actors, and not to mention it does keep the characters all likable while not forgetting to develop them in some way. If you haven't seen this movie, I recommend you do if you have the time. Even if you never read the books, you'll find at least some enjoyment out of this.

:iconthe-doctor-w:
It's hard to believe a movie called "Captain Underpants" could be one of the funniest films in recent memory. Few films as of late have this much energy, or this much rapid-fire comedy involved. I lost track of how many jokes per minute there were, and the many layered jokes in scenes make this rife with rewatch value. 

Plus, the CGI is great as well. It breaks aesthetic to remain loyal to the books. Capturing that cartoony style in CGI is a boon for the medium and I hope more detailed, expressionist CGI films can come in the future. 

There really is never a dull moment with this movie. It gives so much joviality, so much love with its screenplay, that it's hard to hate on how positive it is. This is a movie that puts a smile on my face and I look forward to watching it many more times in the future!

:iconmikethehuman113:
It's an animated film, so of course, the animation deserves the attention first. It's all very... unique and it really feels as though Dav Pilkey's original illustrations have leapt off the page and made it to the big screen. And it doesn't stop there! There are several instances where the art style changes, so not only do we have 2D animation, but they even throw in puppetry! Freakin' puppetry! 

How about the humor? Okay, there are a few instances of toilet humor, but they are not the focus. The focus is the masterful writing that I would even put up there with The LEGO Movie and The LEGO Batman Movie, not just in its wittiness, but in its self-awareness akin to the original books. I don't even want to spoil any jokes. Even the adults in my theatre were laughing! 

One can view it as a bit odd to have adult actors like Kevin Hart and Thomas Middleditch voice kids, and, to be frank, it did take me a while to get used to them. But once I did, I was hooked. They have incredible chemistry as friends and they aren't just trouble-making assholes. They want to bring some brightness to their school, which is currently a dystopian wasteland of boredom, and they aren't harming anyone in their endeavors. Ed Helms did a fantastic job transitioning between the stern, evil principal and the dumb, triumphant superhero seamlessly, and Nick Kroll as Professor Poopypants makes for the best and funniest character in the movie. Holy shit he is fantastic here. I'm not even going to begin to spoil anything about him, but trust me, he's a blast.

So do I have any issues with this movie? A few, but as said before, they're minor nitpicks. Aside from what I've already mentioned, the biggest issue is that for a movie named after Captain Underpants, he doesn't have....the largest role, or at least not one as large as one might expect. It didn't bother me THAT much, since he's still funny, but it's still worth mentioning.

Speaking as someone who quite enjoyed the books as a kid, this movie was fantastic. It has charm, wit, great animation, and you know what? It's just happy. It's a film that's bound to put anyone that watches it in a good mood. I don't see anything wrong with that in my book. How funny is it that the original author Dav Pilkey was constantly scolded in school for expressing his creativity under the guise that "You can't spend the rest of your life making silly comics"? And now he's made one of the most popular children's book series of all time which has led to a movie that has grossed millions of dollars worldwide, undoubtedly leading to a sequel. That's a story of inspiration if I ever heard one. 

:iconemeraldoftheocean:: If you wanna know how great this movie is, just look at the treehouse scene. 
Oh Lord, just look at their body language, the animation, and listen to the music just for them climbing the ladder up to the treehouse. The animators must have had fun making this movie as happy and charming as possible. I don't know if someone made this treehouse for the boys or if they did, but it looks amazing. I can only imagine how much fun they have creating their comic books up there. That's another thing; we get a charming montage of these two just laughing and smiling as they create their comic book. George and Harold are the main reason I love this movie this much; their emotions of joy and fear are so strong it's contagious. In this day and age of scandals, sexism, and fear of war, happiness like this done right (unlike Trolls) is not only important, but makes the movie all the more powerful with its world. 

:icongamerjerk450:Honestly, this movie had no right to be as funny as it was, given how much toilet humor it had. I feel some of us just aren't really appreciating goofy comedy movies nowadays, so I thought it was nice for a great animated movie to come along that didn't take itself seriously or try to tug at your heartstrings. 

George and Harold were also pretty likable protagonists in that they're not just simply defying authority for the sake of it, but rather because they want to spread cheer throughout this miserable school. 

The animation faithfully translates the style of the books into CGI and manages to look unique, vibrant, and colorful without delving into the uncanny valley. Sure, it's not the most detailed animation out there, but I feel it's as good as it needs to be to reflect the cartoonish nature of the film, as well as the art style of the books. They really utilized those 38 million dollars quite well. 

Also, I couldn't believe that they actually put the Flip-O-Rama in the movie. Those were my favorite part of the books. Before I saw it, I was thinking "eh, it's probably not gonna be in the movie." But they proved me wrong. It just made me really happy that they added the Flip-O-Rama.

Captain Underpants: The FIRST Epic Movie? It better be. I don't want a "Doug's First Movie" kind of situation here.

:icon18yazidjiand:Before I watched this movie, and after witnessing the trailer, I thought this movie was going to suck. Nothing about the trailer was leaning towards me in a bright light, and it just looked like a pointless cash grab from Dreamworks. I thought my childhood was going to be ruined once again from a source material that could easily botched. However as soon as the movie came, I heard mountains of positivism coming from critics and movie goers alike, calling it the surprise of the year. While I wasn't gonna take the feedback with a grain of salt just yet, it did however inspire me to give this movie at least a chance. By the time I watched it, I was shocked beyond belief. This was good? No, was it great? Actually, great is not strong enough of a word. It was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man o' man do I love this movie! I can't believe it has me saying that its one of the best animated movies I've seen in years. 

The first thing to love about this movie is the animation. This movie is absolutely GORGEOUS. Every scene is beautifully colored and the backgrounds are also wonderfully detailed and textured. Every expression within the film is also top notch, perfectly fitting the characters' personalities. The next thing to talk about is the source material. I would have never the writers would go this far into referencing many of the book's plot points casseroled together into this one movie. Now normally, I would usually feel annoyed by constant amounts of fan service coming off as a huge amount of un-originality. But this movie manages to properly use the source material so well that it all flows together nicely without it ever coming off as unnecessary. The faithfulness for this kind of dedication is something I thought I would never see in this movie. EVEN THE FLIP O RAMA IS HERE, HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!!

Now let us move onto the characters. Both George and Harold are voiced by Kevin Hart and Thomas Middleditch respectively. Both of these actors do not sound like kids, but they still manage to fit extremely well and they absolutely nailed their performances. George and Harold are two kids that often make comics, pull pranks, and cause many antics, just like how they're portrayed in the books. But in this movie, they are portrayed for doing all of these shenanigans because they want to help all of the kids at Jerome Horwitz who have become exceedingly depressed from the torment from the teachers. This gives George and Harold in the film great likability and motivation as they are just trying to do the right thing in order to make other people happy. They even HELP their principal in the end to make him happier after realizing he doesn't really have any friends, and they are willing to accept to stay in different classes, proving that main characters will not always get everything they want in the end.

Ed Helms voices the amazing Mr. Krupp/Captain Underpants who does a great job of being overly sinister to extremely goofy between the two personas. Mr. Krupp is really great for coming off as someone really grumpy and angry who can't tolerate George and Harold at all and Captain Underpants who is just so silly and ridiculous you just have to love everything he does. Mr. Krupp also has a great moment near the end by saying that he actually thought George and Harold's comics were funny, making him a nicer person. 

Overall, this movie could've easily been botched by concept alone, but it still managed to defy all my expectations by beingt one of the best Dreamworks movies out there. This film is gut-bustingly hilarious, charming, a little bit sweet, and brimming with intelligence from beginning to end. I will always be looking to re-watching this. TRA-LA-LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

:icontaliyus:Captain Underpants was a funny, charming, feel-good movie with a unique art style. It was a very enjoyable experience.

:iconyodajax10:I loved the "Captain Underpants" books as a kid, and as someone who thinks the books aged very well, this movie really did them Truth, Justice and all that is Pre-Shrunk and Cottony! All the characters are memorable, especially with the voice acting, the humor is right up there with the likes of "The LEGO Movie", the animation has great timing and energy, and it can even have a couple touching moments too. This is definitely a film for anyone who has or hasn't read the books! 5/5, Amazing!!!

:iconshevanda04:This movie had surprisingly hilarious toilet humor which was actually executed very well. Outside of the humor, the characters and story are fleshed out. The only flaw I could think of about this movie is the antagonist of the movie, Professor Poopypants.

Overall, Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie is very silly, but silly for the right reasons. Overall Rating: Amazing (9/10)

:iconphoenixofgrunvale:
When I first heard that there was going to be a Captain Underpants movie, I was like, "really? A movie of THAT? Why?!" I mean, I do (vaguely) remember reading the Captain Underpants books when I was little, but over time... I just forgot about them. And apparently when they came up again, I must've ended up remembering the books as nothing but immature gross-out humor. But apparently, a lot of critics I follow, like AniMat, LoudCartoonist99 and PowerLoud-Girl, have fond memories of the books as being something more than immature gross-out humor. So... I guess you can say that I'm not, and never really have been, a Captain Underpants fan. Of course I've known about the series, but I... severely misjudged it.

But as the trailers and clips of the Captain Underpants movie started coming out, I became more and more excited for the movie. I found myself laughing at what they showed of Ed Helms' performance, and the various cartoony gags. So I figured, maybe this movie will actually be really good? So I decided to go to the theater and watch it.

...my reaction?


Yeah, "nothing but immature gross-out humor" my ass. Not only was this film better than I expected it to be, it actually ended up being my favorite animation of 2017 so far. No, I'm not kidding. This actually managed to top Loud House's Frog Wild as the best animation I've seen all year, and ranks up there with ShrekMegamind, the Kung Fu Panda movies and the How to Train Your Dragon movies, as one of my favorite DreamWorks movies. Yes, I loved this movie THAT much.

Where to begin? I know, the characters.

Kevin Hart and Thomas Middleditch work very well both together, and as their own separate characters. It's one of the few times I'm glad that the child characters aren't voiced by children. Because I don't see any way child actors could pull off such hilarious performances, not even good ones like Collin Dean or Caleel Harris. It's a case like with Jason Ritter voicing Dipper Pines, where the voice may not fit the age, but it still fits the character and their personality.

As for George and Harold themselves, they are great characters. They're not just troublemakers who prank... because and never consider the consequences of their actions. They prank to get back at the staff, and to bring joy to the students (except one, who I'll get to in a moment). And, as they have Krupp under their control, they take responsibility on correcting any mishap Krupp commits as Captain Underpants, like hiring a certain teacher (who I'll also get to), or causing havoc in the city. They also break the fourth wall several times throughout the film, to tell the audience about their lives.

And of course, there's Principal Krupp, aka Captain Underpants, of course the highlight of the movie. As Krupp, he is a straight man to all of George and Harold's antics. His emotions range from over-the-top rage at everything George and Harold do to push his nerves, to devious glee when he busts them, and he prepares to end their friendship by putting them in separate classes. As Captain Underpants, he's a well-meaning goofball whose actions (and vulnerability to water) lead George and Harold to have to take responsibility of him, whether it means stopping him from rescuing the city from a non-existent danger, or snapping their fingers whenever he reverts back to Krupp.

Ed Helms' performance as Krupp/Captain Underpants is hilarious. He puts so much energy into his role, and you can tell he's having fun with whatever the script calls for, whether it be over-the-top annoyance and frustration as Krupp, or being an ignorant goofball as Captain Underpants.

The animation in this film is really nice. As I brought up above, it stays true to the art style of the original books, while bringing it into the third dimension, complete with textures and fluid cartoony movement. It's a great example of cartoony computer animation; we've seen the choppiness of Peanuts emulated in 3D, now we see the bounciness of Captain Underpants. And the animators pulled it off very well. There's also a few 2D-animated bits, including when it shows animated versions of the stories in George and Harold's comics. I was pleasantly surprised to see these 2D moments and see them pulled off well.

There's even a portion of the movie that uses puppetry! It comes as George and Harold imagine them drifting apart after Krupp tells of his plan to put them in separate classes. It's a pretty funny scene.

Speaking of funny, there's also the humor. Whenever this movie wants to be funny (which is most of the time), it is freaking hilarious. Krupp/Captain Underpants is hilarious all by himself, as is the Nick Kroll professor, but there's also several other funny moments. Sometimes moments that shouldn't even be funny, just juvenile attempts at humor. Yet the writers found a way to make them funny. These include: George and Harold altering an image of Krupp to make it look like he's picking his nose, a drawing of Krupp on the toilet drawn against the wall of a toilet stall, the mere NAME of the Nick Kroll professor, George and Harold's explanation of why Captain Underpants is who he is ('some superheroes look like they're wearing underwear, he really does'), Harold's running gag of putting dolphins in the comics, the list goes on.

There's even a moment poking fun at the movie's low budget; instead of showing an action scene where Captain Underpants tries to fight off the Nick Kroll professor's Turbo Toilet 2000, George and Harold decide to show it via 'flip-o-rama', a flip book.

And finally, there's the message of the movie. Which is that, sometimes, you just need to laugh at how silly everything is. When Mr. Krupp is on his way to his date, he gives George and Harold back the Captain Underpants comics he confiscated from them, admitting that he found them funny when he read them for himself. It's a pretty nice scene. And a nice moral to go with it. Some things in this world are so silly, you just gotta laugh at them.

If there is one nitpick I have to make about the movie, it would be when Krupp finally does send George and Harold to the separate classes at the beginning of the third act after he causes havoc at the school carnival. I know that Krupp can't turn into Captain Underpants in the rain (obviously), but... couldn't one of them snap their fingers while they were indoors? That way, Krupp could turn into Captain Underpants then? I know that scene was done for drama, and it's just a small plot hole, but... it's still a plot hole. Eh, it's trivial at worst. Every movie has plot holes.

Even with that small plot hole though, I have no real complaints with this movie. This movie was fantastic. It has a great story, it has a great message, the animation is really well-done, the characters are hilarious, the humor hits the mark, and the fact that it was made on such a low budget is amazing. It's the best animated film I've seen since Zootopia, it's DreamWorks' best film since Dragon 2, and it's a perfect movie for DreamWorks to end their contract with 20th Century Fox on. See this film at your earliest convenience. I guarantee you won't regret it.

Oh, and stay a bit through the credits, too. There's a mid-credits scene that completes a running gag involving the secretary. It's pretty damn funny.

:iconpowerloud-girl:: Before I get to this film, I should talk about what I think of the original books. While I sadly haven't read all of them, I have read a good chunk of them, and I like to deem them as the ultimate "never judge a book by its cover" book series. Captain Underpants, just from the title, sounds like the stupidest thing ever created by human beings. And to be fair, even the books kind of play it up like that. But what made them so much fun for me and my best friend at school to read was that, for lack of a better phrase, they knew what they were. They recognized that their premise is ridiculous, they recognized that they are meant for kids, and they recognized that they have a lot of toilet humor, and they just go all out with it. They take the premise and really have a lot of fun with it, no matter how much it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

That being said, though, that doesn't mean there isn't some level of intelligence to them, because much like Lemony Snicket's books, it takes great joy in word play and fourth-wall humor. A memorable example to me is when the characters acknowledge the overuse of italics font. That's just genius.

So, when I saw that Dreamworks was making a movie based on these books, I got excited as hell. Not only did I have a huge nostalgic connection to the source material, but it really looked like the people behind it knew what they were doing. I may not have been huge on Weird Al's theme at first, but repeated listens have won me over, and it was another sign of how much respect the crew was putting into the film.

But what really got me excited about it was that :iconphoenixofgrunvale:, a person who had no nostalgic connection to the books whatsoever, declared this as his favorite animation of 2017 so far. After that, I thought to myself "Okay, if even people who haven't read the books are loving it, then it has to be spectacular." So, I saw it today, and....yeah, it's just as incredible as he says it is.

This movie is for me what The Peanuts Movie was for everybody else. In terms of how it handles the source material, there are some slight changes here and there, but throughout the entire movie, it manages to feel as if it really belongs in the universe of the books. The tone of the whole thing is mainly very comedic and silly, and that tone is helped a great deal by the animation.

Like The Peanuts Movie for Blue Sky Studios, this film's animation is unlike anything that Dreamworks had done before. Even though it's in CGI, the art style captures the look in its own unique way. Not to mention that the animation itself is very zany and fast-paced, leading to a LOT of hilarious sequences. This leads me to the humor.

In terms of the comedy, this movie is like the kid's version of Hot Fuzz, in that the jokes are very quick, and there are so many background jokes that you'd have to watch the movie several times just to catch everything. The movie tries several different types of animation at different points, and one thing I knew about this movie going in was that there was a live-action scene with sock puppets. Let me tell ya, it is just as glorious as you'd expect. And for those who haven't seen the movie yet, be sure to stick around for the mid-credits scene. It's a fantastic topper to an already outstanding film.

It's too early for me to decide if this is my new favorite Dreamworks movie. It'd be hard to top Prince of Egypt, the Kung Fu Panda films, and the How to Train Your Dragon films. But you know what? It's definitely up there as one of their best films, and it's one of my favorite movies. I was already a fan of the source material, but now I really want to go back and read them again. The ending indicates there's going to be a sequel, and they better make it, because if this is what they do for the first, I bet another would be just as good. But even if you don't know the source material, it's still worth a watch. Go see it as soon as possible.

What else can you say but....TRA-LA-LAAAAAAA!!!!

:iconblackmoonpaladin: I was first exposed to Captain Underpants the Book Series at about the age of 6, and ever since I first cracked open Captain Underpants and the Invasion of the Incredibly Naughty Cafeteria Ladies from Outer Space and the Subsequent Assault of the Equally-Evil Lunchroom Zombie Nerds, (Yes. The title is annoying long, the books even joked about that once) I was in love with the series. I loved the charm, I loved the characters, the comedy was hilarious and full of silly self-aware humor, and the world was ridiculous in the best of ways.

When I first heard of the movie, I gotta admit I was a little bit skeptical if a Hit or Miss company like DreamWorks could make a faithful adaptation of the series... I mean, let's face facts, these are the people that made the detestably awful Trolls movie the previous year.

But thankfully, my fears were unfounded the moment I saw the intro, when the silly, intentionally bad art style of George and Harold's comic books came to life before my eyes. At that moment, I knew that the film was in good hands.

And let me tell you something, it's a magical feeling to see something from your early childhood replicated so vividly and creatively.

A wise critic (PlagueOfGripes) once said in a video that sometimes the audience can feel the love for a character flowing through the writing of an episode or show, and I feel like the film was overflowing with love for the franchise, from the constant nods to the books, to the show experimenting with vastly different art styles, (The sock-puppet scene in particular being a damn solid highlight), to the chemistry between George and Harold, to the gorgeous and flowing animation, and even giving characters like Mr. Krupp a genuine heart and a soul. The movie was made not just for fans, but for people of all ages.

The first book had a joke about George and Harold playing a Weird Al Yankovic song on the intercoms, and the people who made this paid so much attention to the book series that they arranged for Mr. Yankovic himself to sing the end credits theme. (And the song is fucking phenomenal by the way) If that's not love and dedication, I don't know what is. 

Whether you are a small kid seeing the franchise for the first time or a hardcore fan wanting to relive his childhood, the movie has something for everybody! What are you doing reading this review? Watch it! Experience it, close the page right now, find it on streaming sites, Netflix or DVD and go fucking nuts! I mean it! Here's the link right now! 

www.watchcartoononline.io/capt… 

Just go! Just fucking go! Get out of here! Watch the damn movie! You won't regret it for a second!

So bro, what do you think? Do you think this movie is still as bad as you say it is?

RB'sB: .... No. I definitely overreacted. I feel really silly now. 

It's okay man, I know you don't really hate the movie.

RB'sB: So, you wanna go ahead and finish this bad boy off?

I'd want nothing more! I guess if I absolutely had to say something bad about this film, I guess it'd be that one random musical number where George and Harold sing about Saturday. It's still charming and funny, but they are not singers. Hell, Kevin Hart even went on record saying that was his least favorite part of recording because he knows he can't sing. He is a comedian and not a singer after all. I also kind of wish this film was a little longer, but hopefully a sequel can solve that problem. And that's about as much as I have to say about this movie in a negative light.

Captain Underpants the First Epic Movie is one of the funniest, creative, and charming movies of this decade; maybe even of all time! Every single character has some amount of charm and endearment to them and are backed by talented voice artists. The animation is a beautiful breath of fresh air that will hopefully lead to more films that focus on expressions and fluid movements and maybe even other mediums. The humor is outstanding because it keeps you coming back for more, and it even has a serious affect on the plot. 

But more than anything, I love this film for everything it represents and stands for. It shows why kids value art and freedom so much, but it also shows the dangers of too much freedom. Humor is incredibly underrated is the difference between friendly folks and cynical curmudgeons. And of course, this film is simply just pure fun. I don't know about you guys, but I think studios and critics have a lot to learn from this gem. It subverts' the studios idea that everything must be dramatic and copy Pixar, and it subverts the critics' idea that potty humor and wacky animation can never work in a film. I think the greatness of this film is summarized quite nicely by Mr. Krupp himself when he gives the boys their comics back.

Mr. Krupp: Well, I watched the movie and considering it's completely implausible, juvenile, and filled with the lowest form of wit, potty humor, it's actually pretty funny.

Now, this may be my favorite DreamWorks film, but as for where it ranks among my favorite movies of all time.... I guess that's a story for another day ;) I wonder if there's anything else that could make me love this movie any more.



I think I'm in love everybody :love:

Oh, and one more thing.



Just in case you somehow missed Part 1. My First Epic Movie Review/75 Watchers! (Part 1)


  • Listening to: Game Grumps
  • Reading: Frankenstein
  • Watching: Captain Underpants
  • Playing: Splatoon 2
  • Eating: Cinnamon Rolls
  • Drinking: Cranberry Juice
If you said yes, then here's how! Last time, I said that my favorite film from last year was Captain Underpants the First Epic Movie. Even though I'm ready to explain myself, celebrating 75 watchers by just reviewing a movie is a little anticlimactic. That's why I won't be reviewing the movie all by myself. I want YOU guys to review it too!

One of my points for the review will be that I'm not the only who likes it. A bunch of other animation enthusiasts liked it too, and that's where you all come in! 

Now some ground rules.

1. Watch the movie in its entirety. Obviously.

2. I'm only looking for positive reviews. I'm fine with your review saying something like it isn't perfect, but I'm looking for mostly positive reviews here. Sorry if you didn't like the film, but it would clash with the tone I'm going for.

3. Don't forget to proofread! I've always prided myself on having as few grammatical errors as possible, so I don't wanna have to completely change someone's entry if it can barely be read. Check it as many times as you have to. Have someone proofread for you even, there's no shame in it! Just say what you mean, and mean what you say.

4. I don't really care how long it is. Just let me know what you liked about the movie in a way that feels comfortable to you. It can be one sentence, one paragraph, anything is fair game! I'm kind of looking for variety in structure anyway, so just make sure it is YOUR voice.

5. Send me your work in a note with the subject "Captain Underpants Collab". This will help me organize everything and keep the content hidden until release.

I'm not sure what the deadline will be. Probably a week or so. It's gonna take a while for me to write this one. Until then.... [link]


  • Listening to: Game Grumps
  • Reading: Frankenstein
  • Watching: Red vs Blue
  • Playing: Splatoon 2
  • Eating: Hogie
  • Drinking: Capri Sun
I think :iconphoenixofgrunvale: and :icondarkton93: will both be happy about this next one.

Number Five

Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle


It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong, and you know what? That's exactly what I was. Wrong. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it guys, I was one of the very first people to write this film off as a Hollywood cash grab sequel that was fifteen years too late. Not helping was all of the Sony product placement in the trailer, and even a character prominently using a selfie stick. I thought this move was gonna suck.

But, after seeing a bunch of positive reviews, I got a little curious and decided to watch the film in theaters. I wasn't exactly keen on ending my movie going experience last year with The Last Jedi anyway. Not only did I come out of the movie surprised, I ended up genuinely loving it. Like, WAY more than I could've ever anticipated.

The story takes place sort of after the events of the first film when someone finds the Jumanji board game washed up on a beach. But because board games aren't a big deal anymore, nobody actually plays it, making the damn thing kind of powerless. So, because it can apparently do this, it gets with the times and turns itself into a video game. Somebody uses it and is never heard from again.

Cut to about twenty years later, we focus on four teenagers. Spencer, a video game geek who's kind of a pushover, Fridge, a jock who has trouble with school, Bethany, a self centered girl who thinks the world revolves around her, and Martha, an iconoclastic teenager with zero respect for authority. They each have their own disciplinary problems and get sent to detention on the same day. While cleaning out the basement, they find a video game called Jumanji. Seeing nothing better to do, they each pick an avatar after not being able to select one in particular. Once Spencer hits start, they all get sucked into the game and become who they chose. 

Once they realize they're n a video game, an NPC named Nigel tells them about this world's story. A hunter named Russel Van Pelt wants a jewel called the "Jaguar's Eye," an ancient relic that will allow him to control all of the land's animals. If our heroes ever want to leave the game, they must get the jewel back to the top of an enormous jaguar statue and call out "Jumanji". From here on out, it's a video game style adventure with levels that increase in difficulty, dangerous locales, and plenty of enemies along the way.

All right, let's cover the film's overall design first. For a Sony movie, it's actually kind of beautiful. The jungle setting is very pleasing to the eye and allows for a wide range of environments and set pieces for the characters to work with. As for computer effects, I was a little worried about how this film would pull off the CGI. And... yeah, it looks fake as s***, but this film gets a lot of leeway because it takes place in a video game! Video games have never looked realistic.

Films like Super Mario Bros and Mortal Kombat look like utter dog s***, and they don't have the luxury of using their source materials as an excuse. They may be based on video games, but the film's themselves aren't actual video games. Not only does Jumanji have a unique enough style to distract from the cheesy effects, it also makes a lot of sense story wise. Of course a character getting eaten by a hippo will look a little uncanny. Video games aren't exactly realistic when it comes to silly things like physics.



There is also a lot of laughs in this film. Considering the kind of concept they have, it'd be a damn shame if they didn't take advantage of every opportunity. We have high schoolers not only getting sucked into a video game, but also forced to play as avatars that are basically the total opposite of their real selves. When I saw that one of the girls would turn into a man, I was thinking to myself, "Okay, I know they're probably gonna do some sort of d*** joke. It'd be weird if they didn't. But will it be good?" I won't spoil it, but it's f***ing awesome what they do with it :D

I was also pleasantly surprised by this film's use of video game humor. It was a good thing this movie had a character like Spencer who was already in the know-how and could explain things to the characters and some audience members who may not be gamers. Simple facts like what NPC stands for and the reason for cutscenes won't be common knowledge to everybody, and I'm happy the filmmakers did their homework :)

As is the case for most adventure movies, the real driving force of the quality is the characters, and I couldn't believe how much I liked these guys. This was especially crazy considering how much I hate most teen characters and high school movies. But I guess when you set a majority of your film in the jungle and have the teenagers portrayed by some of the most charismatic actors working today you manage to win me over.

It helps that even in the beginning the teenagers aren't insufferable. They're as disrespectful as they need to be to get the point across, and they show REAL development by the end of the story to make everything worth it. The relationship between the characters was also kind of refreshing. Take Spencer and Brick for example. Brick asks Spencer to do his essay for him, and notice how I said "asks". Not forces, asks. Most movies would have Brick be a meat head who uses his physical dominance to make Spencer do whatever he wants, but he actually uses some passive aggressiveness, something that most jock characters aren't known for. And it's not like he's proud of his academic failings. There's a scene where Spencer calls him an idiot and Brick becomes super defensive about it and lashes out. It's almost like jocks have feelings and are more than their stereotypes. TAKE NOTE LITERALLY EVERYONE!!!

What makes the adults' performances so impressive is that they all actually feel like their real life counterparts. This compliment goes double time for Jack Black, who has to act like a bratty teenage girl turned into a middle aged cartographer. Seriously, Jack Black freaking rules here! The Rock, Kevin Hart, and Karen Gillan are a lot of fun too, but I was especially surprised by Nick Jonas here. He plays Alex, the kid who got sucked into the game 20 years ago. He may not be as funny as everybody else, but he wasn't supposed to be. Somebody's gotta be taking this journey seriously. It makes a lot of sense that he'd be the one to know the ins and outs of the world since he's been there for 20 FREAKING YEARS!!! As I'm sure you guessed, there's a scene where he realizes this, and Mr. Jonas gives a very sad and realistic reaction.

There are also plenty of great themes here I can get behind. A big component for most of this film's progression comes down to team work. It's part of the reason why Alex was stuck there for so long. This is a multiplayer game, and they require all the players to get together and use their strengths and weaknesses to each others' advantages. You'll also hear them mention the idea that "you only have one life," which is another wise moral. We're only here for so long, which is why we must make the right decisions. And if you die, you don't respawn like in Jumanji.

Let's see, this film's got fun characters that go through a lot of development, the actors are wonderful, the scenery is gorgeous, the jokes hit hard, anything I'm forgetting in this action adventure?

RB'sB: Um... the action?

Oh yeah! I love it! This film may be PG 13, but they do a great job of getting away with a lot of adult stuff. Here's how I like to look at the PG 13 rating: would the film be better if the filmmakers held back a little or went full throttle? Something like The Hunger Games does not feel like a PG 13 movie to me. It's a story about little kids maiming and killing each other for entertainment. How is this not R? But I think Jumanji found the perfect balance.

Once again, being set in a video game lets them get away with a lot of unrealistic physics as well as relatively gruesome deaths. Bad guys aren't storm troopers here and do sometimes hit our heroes, and one of them even gets mutilated by a jaguar! (is that ironic?) The three lives mechanic was an excellent decision. It helps make situations look even more dangerous and can even be used to our heroes' advantages for some pretty creative plans.

I guess if I had to nit pick just a little bit, the villain is kind of one note and doesn't offer much to the film. The video game humor could've been utilized a little bit more, and the way the film solves the conflict with Alex feels like kind of a cop out. But the movie does make up for it with an ending that's both hilarious and solves everything wrong with the last film's ending. If you've seen the first one, then you'll probably know what I'm talking about.

Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle may not have too much to do with the first film, a movie that admittedly has not aged very well, but it's still a great time nonetheless. Oh, and speaking of that title, you'll NEVER guess what the end credits song is ;)

Number Four/Three

Coco and My Little Pony the Movie

PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE!!! I feel like I'll explode if I have to. Both of these movies have so many good qualities to them, and I'm not ready to call one better than the other. So for now, just indulge me and hear my thoughts on both of these masterpieces. Why don't we start with Coco?

Many generations ago, a man left his wife, Imelda Rivera, and his daughter, Coco, to pursue his career in music. So shaken up by this, Imelda decided to ban music from the family forever and started up a shoe-making business. 96 years later, her great-great-grandson Miguel secretly aspires to become a musician like Ernesto de la Cruz, a famous singer and actor of Coco's generation. After accidentally breaking a photo on his family's ofrenda, an offering table for late loved ones used on the Day of the Dead, Miguel realizes the photo is partly ripped. The person whose face is missing has the exact same guitar as Ernesto, leading Miguel to believe that he is his great-great-grandfather. 

Finally fed up with his family, he tries to enter a talent contest on the night of the Day of the Dead (oxymoron?). But because his grandmother broke his guitar to keep him from playing anymore music, he tries to steal the guitar from Ernesto's mausoleum. After strumming on the guitar in a beautiful and destined to be iconic shot, Miguel realizes that nobody can see him except for denizens of the Land of the Dead and his dog Dante. They find out he's been cursed from stealing from the dead and will be stuck as a skeleton forever if he doesn't get a blessing from one of his dead relatives by sunset. Unfortunately, Imelda will only let Miguel go on the condition that he gives up on music.

So he refuses and runs into another skeleton named Hector. He can't visit the Land of the Living because no one will make an ofrenda for him. The two make a deal. Hector will get Miguel to Ernesto to receive a blessing from him, and in return, Miguel will set up a photo of Hector so that he won't be forgotten forever: the final death. 

Much like with Jumanji, I'm gonna have to put my big boy pants on. I'd like to take this opportunity and beg for everyone's forgiveness because I thought this film would be bland as dirt. I thought it was just gonna be retread of other films like The Book of Life, Spirited Away, and Kubo to name a few. And after watching the film with my two friends, I kind of had this feeling coming out.



Dear Pixar,

This is Carrick Inabnett. You may know me for my DeviantArt alias "RaccoonBro", but I highly doubt you have the time to actually check out my channel, or even read this letter for that matter. But I'm still gonna send it because I need to get this off my chest. I am so so sorry about judging your most recent film Coco before it even came out. That's a mistake I'll never make again.

Your film is absolutely stunning to behold. It's no wonder you guys made such a big deal about how much painstaking effort went into the world design. All one has to do is look at the solitary shot of when Miguel first ends up in the Land of the Dead and looks at the city. You guys may not be able to always hit in terms of story, but you do manage to one-up yourselves consistently with innovative ideas for how to construct your films' looks.

Of course, what would a Pixar film be without its memorable and likeable characters? You guys hit this one out of the ball park quite honestly. Miguel is one of my new favorite child characters. He's right up there with KO and Gumball. His conflict is a pretty standard one. He has a passion for something that his family won't accept, and he has to fight to do what he loves. But there's a reason this formula is tried and true. It simply works. Why try and fix something that doesn't need it? You guys had the right idea by designing your character on the foundation of reliable trope while also adding your own flair to it by having him travel through this exotic world learning more and more about his family.

Unlike most of these stories, our hero isn't entirely in the right. In the beginning, he basically disowns his family and hates the Rivera name. But after going on this journey, he learns to take pride in his name while also being able to follow his heart. It's quite brilliant.

Hector is the fun con artist type that everyone loves. I'm starting to think that between Nick Wilde, Capper, and him that this might be the easiest way to make a fan favorite. Miguel's living family is, honestly a little insufferable, but only as much as they need to be. You guys were smart to spend the bare minimum amount of time on the land of the living and get to the good fantasy stuff we all came for. Miguel's dead family is very entertaining and more than make up for the fleshies on the other side.

I'd also like to commend you guys for proving that you CAN have a big budget film with an all Latino cast and virtually no celebrities. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe your film is the first one to have an all Latino cast and cost around nine digits. That took a lot of guts and paid off tremendously. While I can certainly appreciate a good accent voice from someone of a different orientation, having the cast actually match their characters' backgrounds helps make the film feel realistic. I know I don't often praise realism in animation, yet, here we are. (Kudos to you guys if you got that reference by the way. It was in your movie after all ;))

Looking back on my criticisms of this movie before it even came out, I feel really silly to have called this a Book of Life rip off just because it's another animated film about the Day of the Dead. There are countless Christmas movies out there, so why can't we have more love for our southern neighbors? Also, this film is WAY better than The Book of Life. I mean, I still like it, but your film manages to integrate the holiday a lot better into the story, not treat death about as seriously as Dragon Ball, and NOT have those stupid dumb a** kids constantly interrupting the story. 

Another differentiation I preferred here was the representation of the Land of the Forgotten. In the Book of Life, we see it as this gray and depressing world where people end up when nobody living remembers them. But in your film, we NEVER see it. It may seem like a small detail, but I think that by not showing the place ever and keeping an aura of mystery around it for both the characters and the audience, the stakes are a lot higher, and the idea of "the final death" is a lot scarier.

Finally, and I'm not afraid to admit this at all, your movie made me cry. A lot. Like, A LOOOOOOOOOOOOOT. Like, Spongebob and Patrick levels of tears here.



You know, I was thinking of getting this film's soundtrack on Spotify because it's so good, but now I'm not gonna because I don't want to break down crying in the gym once Remember Me starts playing. So basically what I'm trying to say Pixar is thank you, but also curse you. I'm supposed to be suppressing these feeling damn it!

In conclusion, your film was wonderful, I should've never doubted it, and I can't wait for Incredibles 2. Now, is there any way I could bother you guys for a Ratatouille sequel?

Sincerely,
Carrick "RaccoonBro" Inabnett

All right, with that note sent, it's time for me to tell you guys why I love Coco! This film is absolutely stunning to be- *thwack*

RB'sB: *holding a club* Don't worry everybody. He'll be up in a few minutes to talk about ponies again.

*twenty minutes later*

Ugh, my head. I don't know why, but I now have the sudden urge to skip over Coco and move onto ponies. Eh, might as well roll with it. This is DeviantArt after all. It's either ponies, Sonic, or anything else with anthropomorphic characters.

A lot of people have reviewed this movie on their pages one way or another. So what can I possibly do to differentiate myself from others? Well, I had an idea.

Outsider's Perspective

This film is set in the magical land of Equestria, a bright and colorful world full of ponies where everyone is happy and loves to throw parties. There are four princesses, and the main one, Twilight Sparkle, is stressing out about the Festival of Friendship going by smoothly. Luckily, she has the help of her friends which consists of five other ponies and a baby dragon. Things seem to be going by without a hitch, (Hell, they even manage to get Sia pony in on the fun), but things start going awry when their party gets crashed by a ship of bad guys who work for an even bigger bad guy who calls himself the Storm King. Tempest Shadow, his commander with a broken unicorn horn, quickly incapacitates all of the princesses because she needs their magic.

Fortunately, Twilight gets away with the help of her friends, but they soon get separated from everyone in the chaos. Left without help, shelter, or safety, they decide to venture out of Equestria to find help from other people so that they can stand a chance against this new malevolent force. It's a game of cat and mouse as these ponies trek through desert, sky, and sea to spread the magic of friendship.

I know what you're thinking. Ponies? Please, give me something to work with. This isn't the 80's anymore, aren't cartoons supposed to be past the obvious toy tie ins? Well, considering films like Toy Story, Cars, and the freaking LEGO Movie exist, a My Little Pony movie honestly isn't that far fetched. But that doesn't mean it could be as good as those things, right? Well, you honestly might be surprised.

For what it is, My Little Pony the Movie is actually not as unbearably saccharine as I thought it would be. In fact, it even has a sense of self awareness.

Storm King: I am so totally over the cute pony thing!

I mean, yeah, it's exactly what you think it is. A cartoon for little girls preaching the wonders of friendship. But honestly, there's something about this film that didn't make me want to stick a bundle of pencils tied together with a rubber band in my mouth and then punch the erasers. It may have something to do with how impressive this film is from a technical stand point.

Everything from the animation, sound, and movements has such a unique style and punch. It's clear that the crew has put their heart and souls into the making of this film. They clearly have the experience since this film is based on the show. I may not have seen any episodes, but if they're anything like this film, I think I might finally understand why "Bronies" exist.

Another reason I can tell this is based on an existing show is that these characters have a lot of chemistry, and I can tell the actors have really strong bonds with each other after working together for so many years. Despite the sheer number of characters onscreen, I was still able to get a pretty good idea of each of their personalities and quirks. Twilight's neurotic, Pinkie's crazy, Rainbow's arrogant, and so on. I can also respect that they brought back the actresses from the show and didn't replace them with bigger names. That's what the other characters are for after all. And for the massive volume of celebrities here, they are very well integrated into the world (yes, even Sia pony).

The songs were nice, the story was nice, the theme was nice, this was just a really nice film. I can't see myself watching it again, but I don't regret watching it either. It's a solid film that I'm sure was mostly made for the fans. I wonder what they thought of it.

Insider's Perspective

Our favorite ponies go on an adventure. WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?! ARE YOU READY FOR SOME PRETTY COLORS AND CHEESY THEMES?!?!?!?!?!



I'm not afraid to admit it at all. If I wasn't already a fan, I doubt I would've loved this film as much as I did. This film was clearly made for the fans after all. But guess what? I'm a fan. So, you know....Deal With it

I don't think a film needs to be a masterpiece for me to love the crap out of it. I just love this film to pieces. 'Nuff said. Let's start with the fact that animated films NEEDED something like this. It didn't even have to be MLP, just f***ing something! This film is hand drawn. This film is a musical. This film has a largely female cast. This film stars actual voice actors while the celebrities are more like side characters. This film has a princess who doesn't dream about being something more. That last one is especially refreshing. How bad would it have been if the writers were forced to make Twilight just like Merida from Brave?

Studio Execs: It worked in Aladdin, so it must work all the time!

I honestly don't have much of a reason for why Jasmine works and others don't. I guess it's because she was one of the first ones, and the trope wasn't beaten into a bloody pulp.

Let's talk about music, because boy oh boy do I love the s*** out of these tracks! I could go by each one individually. In fact...

RB'sB: Please tell me you're not about t-

Every Song

We Got This Together- This is one of my favorite kinds of songs from the franchise because it incorporates as much as it f***ing can into a tiny amount of time. Songs like At the Gala and Winter Wrap Up are great to me because, for the most part, each pony has a chance to shine. This is no different. Not only does it sound great, it also serves as a creative way to introduce newcomers to all the characters. And I mean ALL the characters. Here's a fun game... spot your favorite background pony! Everypony has a great voice, but I'm sad that this is the only time Twilight gets to sing, and Fluttershy's verse was ridiculously short. I guess it was kind of like foreshadowing to her overall presence in the film :P

I'm the Friend you Need- Look, I'm as asexual as they come, but I would honestly break that rule just so I could spend the rest of my days with this suave and charismatic cat. Capper is freaking wonderful in this film and serves as a great example of the "don't talk to strangers" lesson we've all heard. In that sense, Capper might be one of the most terrifying villains in MLP because of how damn realistic he is. Even so, it was great to see him learn the benefits of relying on others, but man oh man did he do such a good job of playing the "reliable friend" before that turn. The song itself is wonderful, and Taye Diggs has a ridiculously great voice. Seriously Capper, give me a call some time. I could be a really good friend ;)

RB'sB: Dude, that's disgusting. He's a f***ing cat.

What? You think just because he's an animal I'm not legally allowed to have sex with him?.... Oh, wait a minute. I think I've been spending too much time on DeviantArt.

Time to be Awesome- A pirate shanty? That's freaking cool! If I had to pick a pony to get a group's mojo back, Rainbow Dash would have to be the easiest pick. What makes this song great is the overall tone and how it makes you feel like you're on a ship. There's the clinging silverware, the accordion, pirate lingo and accents, the whole package. I feel like I'm playing Assassin's Creed Black Flag again. Also, how clever is it that this world's version of pirates are parrots, animals normally associated with pirates? Bravo writers. This song is, say it with me now, AWESOME!!!!

One Small Thing- Favorite. I know you guys saw it coming from a mile away, but this one is my favorite. Can you really blame me? It's Pinkie Pie showing a bunch of hippogriffs the time of their lives in a matter of minutes. Who else but Pinkie? And it's not my fault that Pinkie's songs get the jazziest and most fun instrumentals. It does fit her characcter after all. Also, is this song better to anyone else when they think of it as a love ballad between Pinkie and Skystar? I mean come on, they're perfect for each other! Hell, Andrea and Kristin are perfect for each other. Their voices are just so freakin' adorable!!!

Open Up Your Eyes- Honestly... I'm a little torn on this one. Most people consider this to be the best song, which didn't surprise me in the slightest. Bronies eat stuff like This Day Aria, Stand for Everfree, and Luna's Future right up. But I honestly don't get the hype. These songs are all very well made and powerful and all, but they're also not fun to listen to quite frankly. I'd rather listen to MLP songs like Pinkie's Present a million times over the melodramatic gunk like Luna's Future. Same thing for One Small Thing and this song. Plus, can we please stop redeeming villains? Please! I still really love Tempest Shadow due to her foreboding presence throughout the film, and I even like her redemption. But I can't take anymore from here on out, especially after that Pony of Shadows bull s***.

Rainbow- How did :iconrushfan2596: describe this one? 

RB'sB: A watered down version of Chandelier.

Yeah, that's it. Now, because this is still the perspective of an insider, this also means that I'm fully versed in all of the major complaints constantly lobbed at this film by critics and fans alike. So, allow me to take another minute to dash all these claims to bits as much as I can to justify why I love this movie so much. Now it's not that I'm saying they're wrong, I just don't agree with them. Why would I even be bringing them up if I didn't think I was right? Just keep in mind that I'm not a mindless Brony attacking people for criticizing the movie. I just thought this would be a good topic for the review.

The animation looks cheap: Really? This is a complaint? First of all, I must've watched a different movie, because the MLP Movie I saw was freaking gorgeous. Maybe detractors were talking about the other one... from f***ing 1986. Second off, even if it did look that cheap, it's a movie based on a television show created by the exact same staff. Movies based on cartoons aren't exactly known for their Disney-level visuals. And considering what this staff in particular had to work with in terms of budget, this film is still really damn impressive.

Songs sound too much like Disney: How the flying f*** is that a bad thing?!

Grubber is stupid and annoying: I've brought this up before in my Toffee review, and I said that I actually really like Grubber. My tolerance for dumb sidekicks is just higher than most people's. I also hate it when people say he's unnecessary. Every dark and brooding villain needs a silly lackey to even out the mood. It's kind of tradition.

Pinkie Pie has too much screen time and is too silly: Even as a big fan of Pinkie, I totally understand where people are coming from here. But when you have so many characters in your film, not everypony will get as much screen time as others. Besides, it makes sense that Pinkie would get so much because of how entertaining and marketable she is. As for her being too silly, I'll probably go more in depth for a character comparison, but I think the fact that she didn't take most of the danger seriously falls in line with her character. If you didn't like Pinkie in this film, than you probably don't like her at all. Besides, it's not her job to be serious, it's everypony else's. Speaking of which...

Twilight's a jerk: I think we can all agree that characters don't have to be 100% in the right all the damn time for them to be likeable characters. Twilight had to learn a lesson here, and it's different enough from the show because they've never dealt with a threat so big that they were forced to leave Equestria. Plus, she's a freaking princess. She has a duty to protect her people and never let anypony down. It's understandable that she'd be stressed out to the point where she'd attempt to steal a priceless artifact for the good of the land.

Rainbow's an idiot: Ah yes, that scene where she alerted the villains of where they were by using a sonic rainboom. To be fair, she was kind of in the heat of the moment and not thinking straight. She was just trying to motivate the pirates to stand up to the Storm King. Even if this wasn't the case, I'd still forgive the scene because of how f***ing awesome it looks!

The pirates are too easily swayed to fight back: I like to think of this scene along the lines of hypnosis. You can get people to do whatever you want as long as THEY want to do it too. They clearly wanted to be pirates again but just didn't have any spirit left. And the fact that it all happens so quickly is easily forgiven by the fact that this is a musical. Songs give writers leeway to do what would normally take hours or months in just a couple of minutes. This could range from falling in love, training soldiers, or getting someone's confidence back.



Fluttershy has too little screen time: Once again, I totally get this one. Fluttershy was definitely robbed. But if anypony had to take a back seat to the action, wouldn't Fluttershy make the most sense considering she's the quiet and reserved one of the group? Plus, she has that therapy session moment with one of the grunts. That joke alone makes up for her inaction. Also, from a meta standpoint, it seems fair to me. Andrea Libman already has a bunch of screen time with Pinkie, so giving Fluttershy a small number of lines evens things out.

The Mane 6 shouldn't have had the typical "we're not friends anymore" scene because of everything they've been through in the show: If my review of Home was any indication, I abhor the moments where our heroes dislike each other out of nowhere and have that scene where they're no longer friends that's supposed to make me feel sad but only frustrates me because it does nothing but wastes time. That scene in this movie was beautiful. First of all, both sides have understandable motives. Twilight's friends are angry with her for lying to them and trying to steal the orb, but Twilight is doing the best she can and was already completely worn out by everything they've been through, such as Capper and the rainboom.

Also, this scene actually did its job and made me tear up. Just look at Pinkie's face when Twilight blows up at her. It's so gut wrenching! Plus, even though they part ways, it's pretty clear that they're still friends from this one line.

Applejack: Y'all think it's time to go talk to Twilight?

Their friendship isn't over, they just needed some space to cool off. They weren't brought back together by plot contrivance. Also, their separation DID serve a purpose to the story. If Twilight wasn't alone, she wouldn't have been kidnapped. I truly believe this is one of the best examples of one of my most hated tropes.

Tempest Shadow is another redeemed villain: Even though I said earlier that I'm tired of redemptions in the show, I still think Tempest's is great. This mostly comes down to the fact that this is My Little Pony the MOVIE, not the show. I feel like fans wouldn't be so critical if they didn't treat this like an extended big budget episode and took into account that this film is being made for the general public. Redemptions are a staple of the show, so of course it'd make sense to include one here. :iconphoenixofgrunvale: also brought up a good point that Tempest's redemption works because she proves that she's changed by sacrificing herself. So yeah, I'm totally down with this.

The plot is too by the numbers: This is easily my least favorite complaint of them all. Once again, this is a MOVIE that everyone can see, not just the fans. If the plot was as intricate as something like Coco, then outsiders would be totally lost. Keeping things simple was absolutely mandatory to make room for introducing the characters, establishing the lore, and making a legitimately good product. And I don't know about you guys, but I'd honestly be fine with any kind of story no matter how formulaic it is. It could be about the characters shopping for groceries and I'd still probably find something to like about it. Just give me a beautiful looking movie about my favorite characters going on an adventure. That's all I ask for.

In the end, the reason I loved this movie so much comes down to me not expecting to be some sort of revolution in animation. I honestly don't see why we can't enjoy a film for what it is as opposed to what it isn't. I love this movie, and I'm totally proud of it.
 

Number Two

Logan

See? I told you guys there'd be another Marvel movie. I'm willing to bet that most of you guys weren't expecting this one though. After all, I'm RaccoonBro. I love the silly, over the top entertainment that doesn't take itself too seriously. I choose Pinkie for Best Pony, Grizz for Best Bear, and Bill Cipher for Best Villain. But hey, who said I couldn't enter the dark side every now and then ;)

This movie takes place in the X Men universe, so for this synopsis, I'm just gonna assume you guys are already familiar with the world. It's the year 2029, and 25 years have passed since the last new mutant. The only ones left include Logan, who has been heavily affected by his old age and works as a limo driver, Caliban, an albino who has the ability to track other mutants, and Charles Xavier, the former founder of the X Men and is basically suffering from some form of super Alzheimer's. This has caused him to have deadly seizures that killed seven mutants last year, which is why Logan and Caliban must care for the deteriorating old man.

An inciting incident comes to Logan in the form of a woman who worked for a company called Transigen. Apparently, they somehow found a way to create their own mutants from the DNA of past mutants in order to use them for their own personal gain. However, this lady, along with other nurses, helped a handful of these kids to escape before they could be executed. One of these kids is named Laura, a mutant described to be very much like Logan, and she is essentially his daughter. The rest of the movie is a race for Logan, Laura, and Charles to get to Eden, a safe haven for mutants, before the bad guys. Along the way, there's no shortage of violence, gore, yelling, and the crippling fear of old age.

I'm probably gonna sound a little boastful saying this, but I honestly feel pretty good about myself that THIS is one of my favorite movies of all time despite the fact that I'm still a teenager. Society thinks that kids my age probably don't demand too much from their movies and will be perfectly pleased with out dated jargon, pop cultural references, and gratuitous amounts of sex and violence. But no, I really love a movie about cynical codgers forced to deal with old age that's a lot more introspective than most superhero films.

It'd be good to address the elephant in the room. And let me tell ya, this is one bloody, f***ed up elephant. So messed up that it had to be rated R. Let's be honest, as much as I loved Wolverine in past movies, his character was severely held back due to that pesky PG 13 rating. It's exactly the same thing that I gave Dunkirk so much crap for. Just look at this guy. He's a violent, compulsive d*** with blades that grow out of his freaking fists. I know he's been in plenty of cartoons, video games, toys, and what have you, but this guy just doesn't fit in an MCU style film for me. But because Deadpool was such a ridiculously huge success, Fox realized the untapped potential in a hyper violent Wolverine film, and good on them! Yet another reason to love the crap out of Deadpool I guess.

However, I will admit that there is one good thing to come out of Logan being in past X Men films. Because his healing factor is so over powered, there's no real tension with his character because we know he can't die. It's one of the many reasons X Men Origins failed (along with sewing Wade's f***ing mouth shut). They remedied this a little bit in The Wolverine by having his healing factor get tampered with, but that was fixed right before the final showdown. This broken healing factor was okay in the X Men films though because the characters around him could definitely die, keeping the sense of danger alive.

What makes Logan so genius is that we focus on him as an old man. This dude's been fighting for years. Not only is he tired, but his powers are tired too. He even has trouble getting his damn claws out most of the time. For all of the cool shots of him sponging bullets that we all fondly remember, now he's been reduced to manually lodging them out himself in a much more painful manner. It's very disheartening.

I really appreciate this film's consistent tone. It may feel hopeless and dreary most of the time, but at least you know what you're getting into right from the get-go. The very first scene gets you ready for what to expect right off the bat.



This film wastes no time letting everybody know that Logan's not afraid to hold back anymore. And the fighting only gets more brutal from here! THIS is the Wolverine we all deserve. This is the Wolverine that Hugh Jackman deserves quite frankly.

In fact, all the actors deserve this film. I don't care if Tom Hardy is an amazing successor, he will never EVER hold a candle to the raw emotion and intensity that Hugh brings to this character. Wolverine is no longer a reluctant hero. The years have had a serious affect on his physical state as well as his moral state. That's why I'm able to buy his transformation into a brutal killer over, say, Batfleck. Alex said that the reason he kills in that movie is because he's been fighting crime for so long and sees no point in mercy anymore, and I can totally buy that. The problem, however, lies in the fact that this is his FIRST film. Therefore, we have no real connection or insight into what he was like before becoming a brooding, murderous psycho. We know Logan, and we know that he's capable of being pushed to this, and Hugh Jackman sells it beautifully.

Of course, Patrick Stewart kicks major butt as always, and his performance manages to be more tragic than Jackman's. He's not just an old man. He's also losing his mind, and he's even become a serious threat to the people he's sworn to protect. That's gotta be a tough pill to swallow. Also, did anyone else laugh as much as me when Patrick Stewart, a Shakespearean actor, said, "Oh f*** of Logan."? Thank you R rating :D

And once again, I have to bring up how a movie from this year seriously defied my expectations of what to expect from a child performance. I believe her name is Dafne Keen, and holy s*** is she wonderful here! Not only was her line delivery incredibly gut wrenching and funny, she also kicks a lot of a** and even manages to keep up with Logan. Most of the time she's yelling at the top of her lungs while doing flips and s*** while ALSO cutting down her opponents. I really hope this girl does more stuff.

Honestly, while my synopsis may have been pretty long, the story wasn't really what made me fall in love with Logan. The true reason this movie is so great (aside from the hyper violent fights that I can't get enough of) is that it's more of a character study than superhero fluff. The X Men films have always been a lot smarter than most superhero films what with their impressive themes about racial prejudice, but they've never really gotten as raw and real as this movie.

Logan is the kind of film that will have you cheering in one scene but then breaking down in a fit of tears in the next. While these scenes didn't get me anywhere near the levels Coco got me to, the impact was still VERY real and VERY hard. I won't dare spoil any of these scenes because words simply cannot do them justice.

Who knows? I may do an in-depth spoiler review of Logan someday, but I don't want to until I feel like I'm truly ready to tackle a film like this. Some day, but not this day. I guess if I had to nit pick (and I mean seriously nit pick), I could've done without this one tit shot near the beginning. It kind of felt like the writers were checking off the list of things to put in an R rated film. Other than that, pure perfection.

Also, Deadpool is doing Pixar style opening shorts now? Give me more please! If the sequel is anything like this short, than I think we're in for a Hell of a ride. After all, the origin is the hard part. This is when the real fun begins. May 18 can't come sooner!



Number One

Captain Underpants the First Epic Mo-

RB'sB: SON OF A B**CH!!!

What's your problem?

RB'sB: I f***ing knew it! There was no way your favorite movie would be anything else because you won't shut the Hell up about this stupid movie. It's Captain freaking Underpants. There's no way it can be that good!

But it is, I swear! Captain Underpants is amazing and destined to be a classic!

RB'sB: Oh yeah?! Prove it! Prove to me that something called Captain Underpants could be better than a Pixar film.

.... All right. I will. But not here. I'm gonna need a LOT more space to talk about this beast. And yes, this is gonna be my 75 watcher special.

RB'sB: And how the Hell do you plan on making this "special" enough?

Oh you'll see. You'll ALL see ;) Expect an announcement journal soon. Until then, thanks for reading let me know what you thought of these films, and I'll see you guys next time!


  • Listening to: Game Grumps
  • Reading: Frankenstein
  • Watching: The Eric Andre Show
  • Playing: Splatoon 2
  • Eating: Hen
  • Drinking: Milk
A few weeks ago, I saw an awesome video that smash cut every episode of my favorite live action show It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia into one second each. I absolutely fell in love with the format and tried finding videos for some of my other favorite shows. There are some for Steven Universe, Game Grumps, TMNT 2012, and that's pretty much it. Thus, I was inspired!


I know they're not all exactly one second, so that's why I added the ish. Who knows. Maybe this video will get featured on Equestria Daily. I mean, there aren't any like it. Fingers crossed, and please let me know if you'd like to see more of these videos. This was a lot of fun to make!
  • Listening to: Game Grumps
  • Reading: Astrophysics for People In a Hurry
  • Watching: 30 Rock
  • Playing: Splatoon 2
  • Eating: Chili
  • Drinking: Milk
You know, most people would probably give up on doing a list like this when it's gotten to be this far into the new year. But I'm not "most people", and I never know when to quit! Or meet deadlines either. All right, time for the rules.

1. To keep things simple so that I'm not constantly changing this list's order, I will be focusing ONLY on films that I saw IN THEATERS. So as much as I love movies like John Wick Chapter Two and Get Out, as well as despise films like Wonder Woman and The Bye Bye Man, I won't be talking about them here.

2. Rankings are based on mostly personal enjoyment. This means that the more I'd want to re-watch something, the higher it'll rank on the list.

3. I will be covering live action and animation here. Although I've only seen four animated films in theaters.

4. I'm discussing EVERY film I saw in theaters last year, which is why the number is so weird.

5. I may also talk about my theater experience to give you guys a little bit of context.

6. Since I'm talking about so many movies, I'll try to keep my thoughts brief until I get to the films I really love.

Okay then, roll it!

Number 14: Dunkirk

And to think I was worried that I'd lose someone's attention. While I don't dislike Dunkirk, this is technically my least favorite film that I saw in theaters last year. I'm not sure if this says more about me or the kind of films we've had.

As much as critics love to rave about this film's story structure, sound design, and handling of the real life battle, this film had one too many problems for me to truly get invested. 

But don't take it from me. Take it from my grandparents, both of whom saw the film with me. You'd think something like this would be right up their alley. Well, normally it is, but they actually didn't like it at all. Same for my dad, who saw it on his Kindle and also has a lot of interest in war history. Their main complaints were that this movie is shot too much like an art house film, which is a legitimate complaint. There is a place for films like this, but when it's portraying one of the most violent and dangerous battles ever it just doesn't fit.

The film also suffers from the PG 13 rating. I'm not saying everything should either be rated R or PG, because there's certainly plenty of great films that use the PG 13 rating correctly. But PG 13 war movies don't make a whole lot of sense. Where most films like Saving Private Ryan are praised for being as faithful to the horror of war as possible, Dunkirk has scenes where soldiers are exploded and we only see rubble fly. I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty sure human + explosion = lots of blood. They clearly went for this rating to get more audience attendees, but that argument doesn't hold a lot of water considering the fact that It and Deadpool exist.

But the thing that really bothered me was how I couldn't get attached to any of the characters. I don't know what they were like before the war, they're given very little personality, and most of them look exactly the same! I was told that Harry Styles was in this movie, and I guess he did a really good job because I couldn't tell when he was onscreen at all!

My dad also used a word to describe the soldiers that would most likely get me banned from this website if I type it, so I'll just say that he did not think they looked "battle-ready". 

I realize that most of these complaints come from other people, but I just want you guys to know that even though I'm not exactly in touch with war adaptations, I know people who are that also didn't like this movie. Hell, my grandfather even said that Gary Oldman is a terrible Winston Churchill. I may never see Darkest Hour, so I'll take his word for it.



Number 13: Split

Whoa! A good Shyamalan film? How long has it been since the last one? Hey bro, when did Unbreakable come out?

RB'sB: Wait, did you not like The Visit?

Oh you mean a film that abuses the found footage technique with a stick, uses implausible jump scares, has annoying as Hell child actors, boring and cringey dialogue, and editing so bad that there's a scene where the little girl says she won't show any footage of her father while footage of her father is playing RIGHT behind her? Yeah no, I didn't like that movie. But I did like this one!

I mean, it's not the best thing ever, but it does exactly what it sets out to do. The tone of this movie has a constant battle between awkward comedy and tense scares. But unlike other Shyamalan films, this movie's funny when it WANTS to be funny, and it's even scary when it wants to be scary.

Obviously the biggest selling point for a movie about a man with multiple personalities is the actor playing said man. This could've so easily been one of the most unintentionally funny and embarrassing performances ever, but James McAvoy did such a beautiful job. It's actually kind of inspiring how wonderful his performance(s) is. One part involves him looking in a mirror while seamlessly switching between personalities without any camera tricks or CG of any kind. It's all him. Now I kind of wish James would get into voice acting. Has he done any?

RB'sB: Funny you should ask :D

*sees a picture of Gnomeo*

Oh come on! Well anyway, I guess the problems I have with this movie can be found mostly with the female characters. Not the main one, she's pretty cool, and I was rooting for her to make it out alive. The two girls around her, however, got on my nerves pretty quickly, as most teenage girl characters tend to do. I also found the plot point about a monster living inside him to be a little confusing. Like, you can take shotgun blasts to the stomach now and keep going? I'd like that!

Split may just be a pretty good film, but for Shyamalan, that's pretty frickin' amazing.

Number 12: Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Oh boy. It's not every day I get to risk my life on the internet. Normally I'm a pretty chill dude who occasionally has justified outbursts, so my reputation has been pretty stable. What's the quickest way to ruin it? Simple! Just give literally any opinion, positive or negative, about Star Wars.

Luckily my audience isn't that big, and the people who do read my stuff are all really sweet, so I'm not worried in the slightest saying that this is by far the most average Star Wars movie made. Not bad, or great, just average.

One funny plot hole my dad loves bringing up with these new sequels is how much the Rebellion sucks at their job. After defeating the Empire in Return of the Jedi, there's no way they could lose control again to another big bad army that came from.... somewhere. Seriously, how are the good guys always on the ropes in these movies?

Nonetheless, I do have actual problems with this movie like Finn and Rose's side plot that takes up WAY more screen time than it deserves. Every time we're delving into Rey's character and getting a cool scene with her and Kylo Ren, we end up cutting back to this political commentary bull crap right when things get interesting.

I also really hate Vice Admiral Ami-... uh.... s*** what was her name? Well, I also really hated purple haired lady. There's something about the actress's performance that gave off this condescending and self righteous vibe that really rubbed me the wrong way. Hell, the characters hate her so much that they decide to have a mutiny and take control of the ship. But hey, it turns out that purple haired lady had a plan the whole time to get them safely away from the enemies that she didn't tell them about. So then why the Hell did she not tell them?!?!?!

Oh, and I may not have disliked Rose as much, but she came really close to being my least favorite character ever with this one line after she stops Finn from sacrificing himself.

Rose: We're not gonna win this war by fighting what we hate, we have to save what we love.



This is Star Wars guys! If there's no fighting than the whole franchise would be ruined! Rose, were you not just fighting what you hate a few seconds ago? Was Finn not trying to save what he loves by fighting what he hates? Are we not allowed to fight people who want to kill us anymore?! F*** you Rose.

Yeesh, too much negativity. Let's talk about positives. This film is absolutely stunning to look at. The cinematography was dynamic and did a great job of portraying each scene, visual effects had just the right balance of practical and computers, and the fight scenes, while not as good as Rogue One, felt raw and real. Especially Finn vs Phasma, this film's Boba Fett.

Kylo Ren took a while for me to warm up to in The Force Awakens because he just seemed like another Anakin, but he's actually a complex character with morally gray motivations. A bit of a rarity for films like Star Wars.

But honestly, the real reason you need to see this movie is for Mark Hamill. This man is a gift from the heavens who I honestly think this world doesn't deserve. So let's all be thankful for his existence. The very first scene with him follows up on the cliffhanger from the last movie. All he has to do is take the lightsaber and throw it away, but Mark literally flicks it with his wrist over the cliff and doesn't say a single word. That's the kind of performance you can expect, and I love it!

While I can't really say whether the critics or the fans are more accurate with their judgements, I see where both sides are coming from and can only say to you guys that it's best to make your own judgements. You may be surprised. Oh, and if you have a Porg plushie, then we are done professionally :P

Number 11: It

Honestly, I feel kind of bad for not putting this film at number one for single handedly driving clowns out of business. That deserves a never ending ocean of praise by itself!

I've never really gotten into Stephen King because I find most of his works to be funny rather than scary. A lot of his coveted cliches do a good job of attributing to this: psychic child, takes place in Maine, everyone's an irredeemable ass h*** other than the main characters, a drunk, a religious nut, and a crazy as Hell ending that comes out of nowhere.

However, much like Split, the reason this film works is because when it's funny, it's actually TRYING to be funny. I would've been perfectly happy with this film being a coming of age summer drama rather than a horror movie since those are the best parts. Scenes where it's just the kids talking and having fun (especially the beautiful lake scene) are full of so many warm nostalgic feelings.

I don't normally say this, but every single child actor in this film rocks! I feel like children are able to shine the most when they're in adult films since they're the most free to act like real kids. In most children's media, we're given these idealized versions of children that are way too perfect to relate to or even believe in. Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory and Bridge to Terabithia are both notorious for this.

You know what kids do a lot of? Cursing, fighting, bragging about sex, and talking about how f***ed up their parents are. So good on this movie for letting the children shine.

But I can't disservice this film's horror elements too much. Pennywise might be one of my favorite horror villains ever. The idea of a monster that takes the form of your own personal fears is fascinating to say the least, and Bill Skarsgard, while not as memorable as Tim Curry, does a great job. Whenever the film lets him that is.

This movie does suffer from a lot of horror movie cliches that take me out of the experience, such as relying too much on loud music and obnoxious lighting to get a good scare. Most of the time, these scenes would be lot scarier if the camera just let these scares settle in and be scary on their own volition.

Also, does anybody else find it really weird how Pennywise scares all of the kids and not one of them feels the need to tell anybody about it immediately afterwards? And why does he wait so long to scare the kid whose main fear is f***ing clowns?!?!

But once the projection scene hits, that's when the film starts to get truly terrifying. Just try not to mind the prevalent cliche of "everybody but the main characters has to be an irredeemable d***".

Number Ten: Baby Driver

Wait, you're telling me that Edgar Wright made a blockbuster movie?! 



That's freaking awesome! It's about time this man got the respect he deserves. After disappointments like Scott Pilgrim vs the World and The World's End, I was afraid studios wouldn't give this guy any more money to bring his amazing ideas to life. But wouldn't you know it, Sony actually did the right thing for once and funded his film. All right Sony, you may have given us Emojis and almost ruined Spiderman, but this'll make things even.

I've never really been too big on car films *see Cars 3 review*, but I knew that if anybody could make me invested in the genre it would have to be Edgar Wright, and he definitely succeeded. Maybe if the Fast and the Furious franchise took notes from this film it wouldn't get so much deserved hate.

What truly shines about this film is, you guessed it, the direction. Every action scene has an intense and semi-realistic enough feel to keep you invested the whole time. It does this by being much more practical and focused than your average action movie fluff. But this is Edgar Wright we're talking about. He takes it upon himself to always go above and beyond.

Almost every scene in the film is choreographed to where it synches with the music. As a fan of music, this does a wonderful job of making scenes flow smoothly and deliberately. Of course it helps that the soundtrack is wonderful and provides you with a plethora of "killer tracks" as the movie puts it. It's just so much fun to watch simple actions like opening a door or picking up a cup go in tandem with the music. I can only imagine how much work was put into these scenes.

However, I can't put this film any higher because it really feels like a "style over substance" affair. The style is wonderful and gives this movie a lot of personality, but it doesn't really have too much to offer in other areas. Most of the dialogue, characters, and story is serviceable at best. This especially applies to the way-too-perfect chemistry between the two leads. Not enough time is given to flesh this relationship out, so it makes parts where the girl agrees to throw her whole life away and ride into the sunset with the protagonist feel a little questionable.

But as long as you know when to turn your brain on and off throughout the run time, I think you're in for a fun ride.

Number Nine: Thor Ragnarok

All right, first Marvel movie to appear. And let me assure you, it will not be the last. But I'll tell you this much, it may very well be the funniest.

Seriously, I don't remember laughing so hard with a Marvel film. When I saw this with my friend Anayo, she had seen Boo 2: A Madea Halloween a couple days ago, and she said, "How is this film a thousand times funnier than a film whose main job is telling jokes?" She brings up a very good point.

Thor is excellent in this movie. Out of all of the characters in the Marvel universe, he's probably come the most far in terms of development. It's great to see it all culminate in a Thor movie that's WAY better than the previous two. It might have something to do with the fact that they don't focus so much on annoying human characters. Wait a minute, that's exactly why.

Loki is great as usual, Valkyrie is a cool addition, and it's great to see Hulk finally return. I love how Hulk, the actual monster, gets a lot more lines and personality for the role. He's kind of a lovable, spoiled brat who loves punching things for crowds of thousands. It's really funny.

Some of the best scenes include when Thor threw a ball at the window and it bounced back at him full force, the on-the-nose retelling of Loki's "death" in the Dark World, and anything with Korg, the rock monster voiced by this film's director, Taika Waititi. 

My favorite scene would probably be Doctor Strange's wonderful cameo. It's scenes like this where we get to see the benefits of having a shared universe with multiple characters that each have their own agendas. Seeing them occasionally bump into each other for snarky dialogue and playful fight scenes is what actually makes me happy that Marvel pulled off the universe idea so expertly. If only other studios could do the same. Anyone looking forward to the Dark Universe DVD coming out? It has one film on it because it didn't do so good. The complete master works!

The message is also one that'll live on for generations. Home is where the heart is. It's not a place, it's where you feel the most comfortable. Whether it be because you're surrounded by your loved ones or just feel safe enough to go to sleep.

This movie isn't any higher because it suffers from the same problem most comedy films have. Once you've seen it once and know all the jokes, there isn't too much incentive to re-watch it. But this is honestly a minor nit pick of another great film to the Marvel universe. So, how's DC doing again?

RB'sB: I heard the comics are doing good.

.......

Both: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Number Eight: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Oh hey, another Marvel movie. I hope this coincidence doesn't become a pattern. The first Guardians of the Galaxy was different from anything Marvel had previously done. It starred a menagerie of rag tag ass h***s who weren't entirely keen on becoming a team in the first place. But sooner or later, not only did they become friends, they became a family.

The theme of family is further expanded upon in the sequel, and I love it to bits. All the guardians have such great chemistry and find crazy and ridiculous ways to contribute to the mission, and as I've established in a previous journal, I love it when movies and shows pull this dynamic off successfully.

Quill has a great conflict where he finally learns about his dad and why he's so special. All this time he wanted a father figure when it turns out it's been staring him in the face the whole time in the form of Yondu. Yondu himself is a blast, and his wicked arrow provides one of the greatest looking prison escapes I've ever, and probably will ever see.

Seeing Gamora and Nebula finally have a proper interaction with each other and make up was incredibly satisfying, but I'd be lying if I said them making up through yelling at the top of their lungs wasn't one of the most unintentionally funny things I've seen. But don't worry, this film has plenty of on-purpose comedy.

Rocket has some wonderful development here too. Seeing Yondu break him down after the hilarious light speed scene was incredible. He even had his own development when he realized the two of them are one and the same when it comes to pushing away the people they love. As for Drax, while he felt like a completely different character here from the last one, he was a f***ing riot and provided a lot of this film's best comedic moments.

A common complaint I've heard about this movie is that it has too much comedy. Seriously, is that actually a bad thing? I love comedy in my action films because it sets them apart from the usual boring drivel most people are used to. Watching Baby Groot bring Rocket and Yondu a severed toe and Drax fruitlessly trying to cut up a monster's insides has me busting a gut every time.

Oh, and speaking of Baby Groot..... omgheissofriggin'adorbslikeohmygoshIcan'teven...... Yeah he's pretty good. 

And like I said, this film isn't just about comedy, the action is great! That opening scene honestly rivals Deadpool in terms of tone and creativity. Leave it to Mr. Blue Sky to leave a lasting impression. Also, minor spoiler, but this film somehow managed to incorporate Pac Man into the climax better than Pixels.

As for what brings this film down a little for me, it's probably the Sovereign race over staying its welcome for me and kind of messing up the pacing. Also, how many more superhero films have to have a giant fart as the destruction of the city? At least there's no blue beam going into the sky. Seriously, who is the one ass h*** that keeps putting that in movies?

Number Seven: Spiderman Homecoming

All right, I swear this wasn't on purpose. The rankings just kind of worked out that way. Even though this won't be the last Marvel movie on my countdown, Homecoming is probably my favorite of the MCU movies to come out in 2017. And it was really tough deciding this, so congratulations Marvel for having a marvelous year.

RB'sB: Gee, great pun.

Pun? I don't know what you're talking about.

I think it says a lot about the MCU how they managed to do in one movie what Sony couldn't do with five... make a faithful Spiderman. We all know how it is, Tobey was a great Peter but kind of sucked as Spiderman. Andrew was a pretty good Spiderman who really sucked as Peter. But somehow, some way, Tom Holland is the one who found the right balance between socially awkward loser and fun loving bad a** with plenty of one liners.

Part of the reason why Tom is so great here is because he actually feels like a kid. He gets into plenty of trouble, he's kind of selfish and feels like he should be doing more, and he has to learn to take life slowly and enjoy being a kid before going full time superhero. The latter is especially well done because it's understandable why he'd want to join the big leagues so quickly. This kid just got back from fighting the Avengers. It's gonna take a while for him to come back to Earth.

And the scene when he does really hit me where I live. At this point, Tony Stark is the closest thing he has to a father figure, and the disappointment and anger in his voice when he found out Peter disobeyed him kind of reminded me of the feeling I would get when my parents were disappointed in my actions. It's tough to bounce back from.

The rest of the characters are a blast too. Ned is one of the funniest comic relief characters ever as "the guy in the chair". I also enjoyed the change of making Aunt May a little closer to Peter's age. It's a different kind of relationship from what we're used to. Now they feel more like equals working together against the world. The Vulture was one Hell of a breath of fresh air when it comes to Marvel villains that aren't Loki. And the twist of how he and Peter are related (not blood related, just in general) had me totally shocked.

I also love how this city feels like an actual city. If you wanna know what I mean, just watch the montage of Peter going around helping people out. After seeing it, I finally understood why he's called your friendly neighborhood Spiderman. My neighborhood could certainly use one.

Honestly, there's enough good stuff in this movie warrant a full journal review, but for now, I'll just say that this is easily the best Spiderman movie, and it isn't number one because I simply liked six other films a little bit more.



Number Six: The LEGO Batman Movie

Ah, finally some animation. All this talk about real people was starting to freak me out. Last time we talked about the LEGO franchise I reviewed Unikitty! Now that I'm tackling Batman, it's only a matter of time before I rave about the first one and begrudgingly watch the one about ninjas or something.

Of all the characters to get a movie, LEGO Batman was by far the most logical step forward. Not only is he a great character with plenty of room for development, but the current landscape of countless superhero movies needed a film like this to freshen things up. I honestly feel like I'd be more excited for Teen Titans Go! to the Movies if this movie didn't already exist because it's basically covered all the comedy TTG possibly could.

LEGO Batman is one of those movies where my cheeks started hurting near the end of it. I hadn't even realized that I had been smiling the whole time. Much like the first LEGO movie, this film prides itself on rapid fire, blink and you'll miss jokes. This is already made quite clear from the very first scene.

LEGO Batman: Black. All important movies start with a black screen. And logos. Long, dramatic logos.

I love it when a film is able to immediately say, "This is what you'll be getting into for the next 90 minutes. We hope you like it!" LEGO Batman himself is proof that making an unlikeable ass h*** be your main character doesn't have to be one of the most insufferable experiences in a theater.

What makes him work compared to other, similar characters like maybe Robin from TTG is that he has a clear reason for being the way he is. Ever since his parents died, he's been too scared to ever start another family again and pushes people away. This is also why he's constantly fighting crime and basking in glory, to distract himself. I'm honestly surprised it took a LEGO movie to finally delve into this part of his character. Plus, it helps that he's actually funny. I can forgive a lot of bull crap if you can make me laugh.

LEGO Batman: Well good night Alfred.

Alfred: Sir, it's morning. *opens curtains*

LEGO Batman: hissssssssssss

The cast was expertly chosen as well. With people like Will Arnett, Michael Cera, Ralph Fiennes, and Zach Galifinakis apart of your project, what could possibly go wrong? Although I did have to detract points for including Voldemort as a character and NOT have him voiced by Ralph despite the fact that he's already in the damn movie. Seriously, how the Hell does that happen?! But since they got Billy Dee Williams to voice Two Face, all is forgiven.

As for negatives, and I may be the only one who thinks this, but did anyone else feel like the emotional scenes didn't have quite enough punch to them? I don't know, I feel like they were kind of overshadowed by all the other good stuff in the film. Not helping is the fact that those scenes had to follow the LEGO Movie, one of the closest things we will get to animated perfection. Still though, it's a minor nit pick, and I'm so happy that we have this film. Besides, anything that makes fun of how stupid Suicide Squad was is a plus in my book :D



All right, I think that's enough movies for one journal. Tune in next time when I talk about the absolute best of the best. These will be the films that I absolutely adored and will most likely find a place in my favorite films of all time list. I'll see you guys then!
  • Listening to: Game Grumps
  • Reading: Astrophysics for People In a Hurry
  • Watching: TMNT
  • Playing: Splatoon 2
  • Eating: Nachos
  • Drinking: Milk
Before anyone asks, yes, I know I said I was gonna do that end of the year movies list next. But I haven't done one of these since.... *looks at date* Whoa! Since November?! Well I'm fixing that right now.

In the time between this journal and the last one, I've gotten quite a few requests for what to look at next on this series. I was planning on doing one request per episode, but I'd hate to leave everyone else hanging for an indefinite time. 

So tell you what! I'm gonna look at all three of the requests I've gotten as well as two films from this year that I didn't see in theaters and won't be able to talk about on my end of the year list (since I'll be narrowing my self down to films that I saw in theaters). With all said and done, let's get to the reviews!


Monsters vs Aliens

As requested by :iconmikethehuman113:, this film follows Susan, a bride-to-be who gets hit by a meteor on her wedding day, turning her into a giant. I think :iconstargiantproductions: would like this film already ;). Because monsters are being kept a secret by the government, she's imprisoned in a top secret government facility that holds all kinds of monsters. But when an alien named Gallaxhar wants to invade the Earth, it's up to the monsters to fight for Earth's survival.

To me, there are three kinds of DreamWorks films. You've got the masterpieces destined to live on forever like The Prince of Egypt, Captain Underpants, Kung Fu Panda, and How To Train Your Dragon. Then there's the unadulterated crap like Shark Tale and Turbo which should've never made it past the development stage. But then you've got my favorite category: films that are so bad you can't help but laugh along with their absurdity.

DreamWorks has made plenty of films that could fit into this category. Movies like The Bee Movie, Over the Hedge, and The Boss Baby seem like DreamWorks is trying to do everything it can to troll us. Hell, they even have a film starring trolls. Look me in the eye and tell me that's not some kind of subliminal message! I'd say Monsters vs Aliens fits into this category of DreamWorks films quite nicely because it's bad, but at the same time really funny!

For one, you've got the animation. It is bad. And I mean reaaaaaaaaally bad. These might be some of the worst character models I've seen in a high budget film. They give Oscar and his dumb Will Smith grin a run for his money. Another thing about the animation is that it came around a time when films loved pushing 3D. Nostalgia Critic once said there's three kinds of 3D.

1. Really good 3D that has a purpose in immersing you in the world.

2. Barely there 3D that doesn't count.

3. And of course, F*** YOU, 3D! F*** YOU, 3D!

When I saw this film in theaters as a kid, I thought the 3D was really cool, because I had glasses on. Now that I'm just watching it on NetFlix, a lot of these scenes are pretty damn distracting. One of the very first shots of the film is a guy playing paddle ball right in front of the camera. I'm sure that I thought it was cool in the theaters, but now it just feels like DreamWorks is trolling us. And I won't lie, it's pretty damn funny.

The same goes for a lot of this film's plot and humor. I could tell you, but if you want an idea of how ridiculous this move is, just take a look at this scene. All it's supposed to be is President Stephen Colbert trying to make piece with the alien robot. Sounds simple right?



I have sooooo many questions right now. How did they make giant stairs leading right up to the robot? Why did the president try to make peace with the robot by playing a piano? Why does the robot have a tiny hand just to fool the president into thinking he's friendly? Why does one of the missiles say "GO HOME E.T." on it? How did the robot not only eat the president's bullets but also burp afterwards? I know I'm asking a lot of questions, but I would never want the answer to any of them because it would spoil the experience for me. I freaking love this scene, and most of the movie is like that!

Committee: No, don't do it sir! That button launches all of our nuclear missiles!

President: Then which one gets me a latte?

Committee: That would be the other one sir.

I could ask why there are two red buttons right next to each other that do radically different things, but what would be the fun in that? :D And as stupid as this movie is, there are things I really enjoy, like the characters for example.

Whenever all of the monsters are onscreen together and saving the day, there's a lot of fun to be had with their chemistry and team work. However, I prefer their second mission together a lot more than the first one. I love seeing stuff based on teamwork because every character gets a chance to shine and contribute in their own unique way. I guess that's why the new TMNT cartoon struck a chord with me. But when the monsters go on their first mission, Susan is forced to carry the team's weight while everyone else felt kind of useless. Luckily, this was fixed greatly when they were on the space ship. Link could use his fighting skills, B.O.B.'s elasticity was put to use, and Dr. Cockroach hacked into the... DDR style security system? I told you this movie was ridiculous.

The monsters are all fine and dandy, but the real highlight for me are the President and the General. These two are a freaking riot the whole way through. To those who think that war obsessed general characters are too annoying, I point to this character (as well as Soldier from TF2 and Sarge from Red vs Blue) as proof that that statement is bologna.

So, in a weird way, I'm kind of recommending this movie for how insane it is. Even if you don't like it, you'll probably get something out of the experience. As for my score, I'm not sure exactly how to rate a guilty pleasure. Aston has a pretty good system where he gives so-bad-it's-good media negative points, but here's how I see this. I've always graded things purely off of personal enjoyment. So the question isn't whether I think this film is good. It's whether or not I enjoyed it, and I guess I did! And I'm giving this film an 8 out of 10.

Also, best villain back story ever. I won't spoil it because it's actually a legitimately funny joke.

Cars 3

Really? Another one? I think it's best that I talk to you guys about my feelings on the Cars franchise as a whole before I talk about the most recent entry. I'm fairly certain that Cars was my favorite Pixar film as a kid along with Toy Story, and I'm also positive that both cases stem from the fact that these movies are easily marketable in the toy business. But unlike Toy Story, a film that knew to prioritize story and characters above merchandise, Cars has not aged very well for me and is easily one of Pixar's weakest films.

But because of toy sales, a sequel came out that even fans of Cars hated. Probably something to do with the fact that it has nothing to do with Cars. This is one of those films that's dead on arrival. Tow Mater becomes a spy. Uh, yeah. That sounds like the most logical step for his character's progression.

However, I'm not one of those people who finds Cars okay and Cars 2 bad. In the words of Rick Sanchez, I believe both films are equally mercurial, overly sensitive, clingy, hysterical bird brain homunculi. I honestly can't tell these two apart most of the time, because i don't go by plot or characters. I go by amount of pain in my a**. Why do I say this? Well, it's because I cannot for the life of me get drawn into this fictional world since a world inhabited by cars makes absolutely no sense to me.

I can't focus on what's going on because half the time I'm just asking questions. Do cars eat food? They must eat something if they have those giant tongues. But we normally see them drink gas. Is gas their blood? What about that one time Mater thought Wasabi was ice cream? Which must mean they have milk. But cows in this world are tractors. Do they milk the tractors? Do car models define one's species, class, or ethnicity? And what if a race car wanted to be a janitor? How are cars born? What's the difference between male and female cars? Do they have genitalia? Do they have sex?! How about that one scene where the twin cars flashed their lights at Lightning. Do cars have boobs? How do cars ever die? We see them getting their parts replaced all the time, so maybe they're immortal? There's a Pope car in this universe, so is there some sort of car religion? What kind of car was Jesus? Wait a minute, Sarge is a veteran! What were car wars like? Is there a car Hitler? Is the engine their heart or brain? Are there guts inside of cars? If the doors open would they fall out? But they all have handles. Did the cars take over the world?!?!?!?!

...................so yeah, I can't really buy this world. But, with all that being said, Cars 3 is probably the most enjoyment I could get out of this concept.

Lightning McQueen is still a star racer, but his world gets blind sided when a new generation of high tech cars start to enter the scene. Slowly but surely, his colleagues start dropping out since they can't compete with these newer models. After a serious crash, Lightning is put out of commission for a while until he decides he needs to get back in the game with the help of Cruz Ramirez, a personal trainer who had always wanted to be a racer just like Lightning. With some hard work and inspiration from the late Doc, they're going to find some way to prove that old cars still got it.

I guess if there ever were to be a cars film that I enjoyed it'd be something along the lines of this. You guys know that I have quite a few problems with this universe? Well, none of those complaints I had bother me that much here because of how invested in the story I was. Pixar has always been wonderful at making films that focus on the drama and act as enticing character studies. This probably explains why Brave and Cars 2 weren't that well received. Brave is too formulaic, and Cars 2 focuses too much on screwball comedy, neither of which are things that Pixar excels at. The only part that most people seem to like from Monsters University is the third act, and for good reason!

Cars 3 has this down to a tease, and it's all because are our two leads are so damn engaging. Hell, even Lightning, for the first time in this franchise, is finally a likeable character that I don't want to punch in the face and then immediately regret punching because he's a frickin' car. But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little bit funny that all of the characters keep making jabs about how old he is despite the fact that he looks exactly the same as he did in the other films. It's almost like Pixar was making fun of themselves.

The animation, unlike the other two Cars films, feels up to Pixar's standards. The demolition derby is a great example of this film's spectacular animation. Just look at all of that mud! And leave it to animation to actually get me excited when watching cars drive around a circle for three hours. I gave Turbo a similar comment, but these race scenes are better thanks to the raised stakes and intriguing moves used by the racers.

This movie can even be funny when it wants to be. Don't believe me? Just look at the amount of screen time Mater has. He's barely in it! It's almost as if Pixar wanted to apologize for a certain other film. If that's what they were trying to do, then they definitely succeeded, because this really does feel like the proper sequel to Cars. I'm not entirely sure if it deserves a sequel this good, but the first Star Trek film didn't deserve one either, so I'm cool with it. And I'm giving this film an 8.5 out of 10

Confused by why this film isn't a nine? Well, that car sex question still managed to linger in the back of my mind unfortunately.



The Good Dinosaur

As requested by :icontaliyus:, this film takes place in a universe where the asteroid that took out the dinosaurs actually missed Earth. Now that it's present day, dinosaurs are much more civilized, including one family that lives on a farm. Their youngest son, Arlo, has a lot of timidity issues to overcome in order to "make his mark" along with his siblings. But after a storm kills his dad and washes him away, he'll need the help of a human named Spot to get back home and overcome his anxiety.

Whenever I ask people to request films, I generally don't ask whether or not they like said film. All that matters is that they want to know about my thoughts on it. So I don't know if Corinne likes or dislikes this film. If it's the former, then I'm gonna go ahead and rip the band aid off and say that I did not enjoy this film very much.

I was honestly baffled to see that this film came from Pixar of all companies. If it weren't for the stellar animation, I would've thought this was made by Blue Sky or Illumination. But Pixar? I know they had a bit of slump in the early 2010's, but this movie came out the same year as Inside Out, a film many (as well as me) consider a return to form for the company. But this? This is not Pixar. They managed to hit every single story bump in the road of an animated film the entire way through.

Our main character is a lot smaller and insecure than his peers. There's a scene of him and his father bonding just to make the audience feel bad when the father inevitably dies. Our hero gets separated from his home and must journey his way back. If you've seen any movie ever, then you will be able to call every single plot point that shows up. Also, anyone getting some Lion King vibes from this? I know :iconfiremaster92: would since that's his favorite Disney movie.

Probably the biggest problem with this film is that it is soooooo boring. And this isn't just because I can call every single "twist". A lot of the boredom comes from Arlo himself. Arlo just isn't an interesting enough character to hold a feature length film's weight. A majority of the time is spent with him and Spot (a character that doesn't talk mind you) surviving and occasionally bumping into much more interesting characters along the way. His dialogue consists of 20% complaining, 20% moping, 10% stammering, and 50% screaming. Why is there so much screaming in this movie? I think I've fainted. And we have to follow him for 90 minutes!!!

Not helping is that he's also kind of a d**k. There's one scene where he and Spot are close to home, but along the way they run into another human. Right before Spot goes up to him, Arlo picks him up and says they need to keep moving. Wait a minute?! This could be his one chance to reconnect with his own kind and you're just gonna deny him of that?



But Arlo isn't the only character we follow. Spot is..... fine I guess. The animators are clearly having fun with him, but is anyone else getting kind of exhausted of writers assuming that the only way we'll connect to silent characters like Spot is if they act like a dog? I mean, between Bulls-eye, Sven, and Maximus, it's starting to get pretty damn old.

As for the animation, I honestly didn't dig it that much. Don't get me wrong, it's absolutely beautiful and most of the backgrounds look like they came from real life, but unfortunately, that same level of detail doesn't apply to the characters. There's such a tonal clash between the realistic environments and the cartoon-y designs of the characters. Remember when AniMat said some films are too cartoon-y and we all freaked out because of how stupid that complaint is? Well, I've finally found a movie where that complaint actually holds water. Give Disney's Dinosaur from 2000 credit. At least their characters matched the backgrounds.

I should probably say some nice things about this film before things get out of hand. I did like the camp fire scene with the family of T Rexes. The father gave some great advice about how to handle fear, and Sam Elliot has such an awesome voice. There's also another scene I genuinely loved where Arlo was explaining to Spot the definition of family. Very few words are spoken because they both get what the other is going through. Both have lost some loved ones and are trying to get over their pasts. However, the scene does lose some points when they start howling like idiots, and Spot saying his family died becomes a bit confused when we see him reunite with a group of humans at the end. I guess they were a different pack?

I considered giving this film a rating of 5.5 because even though it bored me to tears, it's harmless and does have a pinch of that Pixar charm. But then something happened that pushed this film into the red for me. I am talking about the raging river scene near the end. Take it away Minute Minecraft Parodies. (skip to 0:57)



This world gives Arlo WAY too much good luck. He survives falling hundreds of feet, getting swept away in a river, having his head bashed onto a rock, falling from a waterfall, and eating drugged out fruits (that scene was cringey as Hell by the way)! I could forgive all of that if this movie established that even dinosaurs at his age can survive ridiculous situations like that. If I can believe a shrimp like Scott Pilgrim could survive all the s*** in his movie, surely I can believe a dinosaur could survive that stuff right? Wrong! All because his father died from the exact same situation. Actually, not exactly the same. Arlo was in much more danger due to the waterfall. None of this makes any sense!!!!

Also, dinosaurs operating a farm? I'd sooner believe cars could cultivate land than a dinosaur.

Sorry if you really liked this film Corrine, but I guess it just wasn't for me. And I'm giving this film a 4.5 out of 10.

Smurfs: The Lost Village

Why couldn't THIS be the first Smurfs movie Sony made? I'm sure you all know about the Smurfs, a village of little blue beings who are named after their most prominent character traits. Clumsy is named for his clumsiness, Brainy is named for his braininess, and Smurfette is named for her.... girl-ness? I'm pretty sure even fans of the show find this confusing since "girl" is not a personality trait. Well, we finally have something that explores this!

This film stars Smurfette and her best friends: Clumsy, Hefty, and Brainy. You guys ever imagine Sony execs throwing darts at a board to figure out which Smurfs to use in their films? After one of Brainy's inventions goes hay-wire, Smurfette thinks she spots another Smurf that left its hat behind. After Gargamel, a man who wants to use the Smurfs' essence to become the most powerful wizard in the world, creates a map from the hat to find this lost village (roll credits), Smurfette and company try to find the village before he does to warn them and also maybe learn more about Smurfette herself.

A handful of you may have noticed that I generally save the second to last spot for the films that p*** me off the most, such as Rio 2, Turbo, and Home. So does that mean I hate Smurfs the Lost Village? Honestly, it's a little bit more complicated than that. Let's start with the things I liked, because there's a lot to like about this film.

For those looking for proof that the live action Smurfs films were a bad idea, (other than the fact that they sucked) you all need to look no further than the gorgeous visuals that this film provides that could only be possible in animation. Even if a live action Smurfs film was the only option, wouldn't you guys much rather see the film take place in their world instead of ours? I mean, let's face it. Our world f***ing sucks. It's gross, unsanitary, mundane, and a terrible setting for a fantasy film. If that's the case, THEN WHY DO SO MANY LIVE ACTION FILMS BASED ON FANTASY CARTOONS INSIST ON COMING INTO OUR WORLD?!?! 

  • Transformers
  • Ella Enchanted
  • Masters of the Universe
  • Alvin and the Chipmunks
  • Fat Albert
It makes no se- Wait a minute. I see now. They only do it because it's cheaper and easier to make. Well guess what terrible cartoon movies, Smurfs the Lost Village is f***ing phenomenal to look at, and kids deserve way better.

At least we know that this film is better than the other Smurfs movies (even if that's not saying much), but what else can it offer? I've never been a big fan of the Smurfs, but it's mostly because I'm a 2010's boy who's been too spoiled on today's cartoons. Even setting aside the fact that most cartoons before the 2000's were ugly as sin like Rugrats, Ren & Stimpy, and Ducktales (Yeah. I said it.), most cartoons made for television just weren't very fun to watch because of the characters. One note personalities, grating voices, undefined motivations, take your pick. And the Smurfs cartoon was one of the worst offenders in my eyes.

That being said, I really liked most of the characters presented to me. It's nice to see a film finally give Smurfette some personality beyond "girl" and actually make her a fun character. Her friends are all interesting and provide a lot of great comedy, although I did find Brainy and Hefty's relationship to be a little weird. Halfway into the movie, they just start fighting out of nowhere. I feel like I'm missing something here because I see no reason for this. Although I did hear that in one draft they were fighting over Smurfette's hand, which is horribly misogynistic. I'm glad they took that out, but why did they still have to keep the fighting in there with no clear motivation? Oh well, maybe I'm just not paying enough attention.

This film is also clearly self aware of its weird source material and has a lot of fun with the concept. I mean, there's one smurf whose thing is literally just that he eats tables.

RB'sB: What's his name?

Table Eating Smurf. He's basically the Derpy of this world and I love it :D

The only character I didn't really like very much was Gargamel. I know this is supposed to be a comedy movie, but he's just too silly and ineffectual to be a real threat. Having an ineffectual villain can lead to a lot of funny moments, but they have to feel at least a little threatening so that the conflict feels real. His henchmen could've helped with grounding him, but because Azrael and Monty don't talk we don't get too much of that. There's even a scene where he has to get saved by the freaking Smurfs! I mean, why can't he be more like... You know what? I think I just got another good idea for a character comparison! But that's for another day.

Another thing that modern cartoons have over older ones is steep improvement in sound quality, especially from the voice actors. Everyone in this film does an excellent job, and we've even got jack McBrayer in this movie as Clumsy. Hell yeah! Now I'm wondering if he prefers mustard or mayo.

So then, what gives? Why is this movie in the spot reserved for films that make me angry? Well, every positive thing I've mentioned mostly comes from the first two thirds of the movie. As for that final act.... ho boy. There's a lot to say that requires going into spoiler territory, so skip to the final paragraph if you want to leave unscathed.

Once our heroes finally find the "Lost Village", it turns out to be a village of female smurfs. I guess this was supposed to be a twist, but we already knew about it because of the trailers. It's like how Zack Snyder thought we'd be surprised by Doomsday. You already spoiled it for us dude!

After seeing how nice the village is, Smurfette has the conflict you'd expect where she wonders if she should leave her old home behind and just stay here. A conflict like this does have potential, but they don't get to the Lost Village until about two thirds into the film. We don't get nearly enough time getting to know this place, making Smurfette's conflict feel pretty forced. I get that she feels more at home in a village full of her own kind, but A) She's lived in the Smurf village her whole life, and B) That would imply genders are like different species that don't mesh well together. I'm starting to realize why I never got into the Smurfs.

Oh but I'm just getting started. The film p***es out by having Gargamel show up and kidnap all of the Smurfs in front of Smurfette, claiming that this was all part of his master plan to get her to revert back to her evil ways when he first made her. Oh yeah, did I mention he did that? Well, he did. Anyway, when he says he had this whole thing planned out, I wasn't buying it. That's what happens when you make your villain as childish and non threatening as possible without any self awareness. Also, why on Earth would you leave Smurfette by herself?! I don't care if she's not a real Smurf, incapacitate her at the very least!

We cut to his lair as he's preparing to steal all of the Smurfs' essence, and his powered up design looks freaking ridiculous.


What is this, Dragon Ball?

But then Smurfette comes, claiming to be evil again. But when Gargamel tries to complete her transformation, she instead absorbs the magic and blasts Gargamel and his minions away. Then the worst part of the film occurs. Smurfette "dies". Yup, you all know where this is going. This film has actually decided to go the Disney death route. At her "funeral", all of the Smurfs start crying, and their tears magically bring Smurfette back to life. Seriously Smurfs the Lost Village?



1. I thought we were finally over the Disney death cliche, but apparently not.

2. It could've been cut out entirely, so it's clearly here to pad time.

3. It goes on for f***ing ever and you know exactly what's going to happen, making it even more frustrating.

4. Can we please for goodness sake stop telling kids that people can be brought back with the power of love?

and 5. They stole this scene from the first Pokemon Movie! I'm not even exaggerating, it's exactly the same.

Oh, and we also end in a dance number. *sigh* Don't get me wrong, I still like this movie a lot, but the third act bogs it down way too much. This probably explains why it had a lower RT rating than The Boss Baby, because THAT film's ending was beautiful. Even though it left me with a sour taste in my mouth, it's still a great film overall that Peyo would've been proud of (I think). And I'm giving this film a 7 out of 10.

Man have these movies been underwhelming. Save me Aston!

Treasure Planet

As requested by :iconblackmoonpaladin:, Treasure Planet follows Jim Hawkins, a fifteen year old inspired by the legendary "loot of a thousand worlds" to become an adventurer. Unfortunately, times have been hard on him and his mother after his dad walked out on them, and Jim's gained the reputation of a trouble making delinquent. Then one day, a ship crashes near their restaurant with a dying pilot who gives Jim a map and tells him to beware of the cyborg. After their inn gets burned to the ground by the pirates looking for it, Jim and Dr. Doppler decide to follow said map with the help of a crew and possibly find this legendary treasure. 

I probably shouldn't say anymore in case of spoilers, but that might be one of the most detailed synopses I've had to write in this series. Is that good or bad? Well, let me start off by saying that Treasure Planet might be one of the best animated films I have ever freaking seen. I LOVE this movie.

First of all, the story clearly takes inspiration from Treasure Island, at least I think so. I've never read that book, and the only reason I'm pretty sure this is based off of it is because of the title. Either way, this film's story was actually a real breath of fresh air for me. I've been watching too many films recently where I could predict every single story beat, and this film's story kept me on my toes the whole way through.

Animation, do I even need to bring it up? It's astonishingly beautiful! One of the first scenes involved Jim "solar cruising", and I honestly wish I could've seen this in theaters to get the full experience. It's like all of the riding scenes from How To Train Your Dragon but hand drawn. Talk about one Hell of a first impression! God, I miss 2D animation.

All of the characters were super enjoyable too. I'm sure some people think I was too hard on Star for being a jerk in Battle for Mewni and defended her by saying, "It's what most teenagers do." While I see where you guys are coming from, that doesn't negate the fact that I couldn't stop grinding my teeth into dust. Then I thought, "Is it possible for me to like rebellious teens at all?" Right now, I can safely say yes thanks to Jim Hawkins. Sure, he gets into trouble, but his rebellious nature is much more passive and contained as opposed to obnoxious and in your face.

Plus, I can totally buy that he acts like this because of his father abandoning him. Yeah, you heard me. Not dead. Just gone. Name one other kids films that goes this route. If the deal was that his dad died instead, not only would it be hugely cliched, but it would also make Jim look more like a d**k. I would be much more heart broken if my dad just left us and never came back. True, death is tragic, but at least they still loved you after passing away. So yeah, I commend this writing choice!

It was a lot of fun seeing an awkward character like Dr. Doppler get used to being out of his element, Captain Amelia is a great example of how one should write a strong female character, and I even had a blast with B.E.N., the film's obligatory comic relief character. Even if you find him annoying, at least his behavior is justified considering he lost his mind.

RB'sB: You mean he went crazy?

No, I mean he literally lost his mind after his owner yanked it out of him. And as far as animal characters go, Morph was a very creative take on the archetype due to how imaginative and fun his design is.

But I think this film's best character has to be none other than John Silver. Oh, I guess this is where all the Disney twist villains came from. The difference between him and those other characters is that we know from the moment we meet him that he's up to something. Nothing fascinates me more than his relationship with Jim. It kept going through so many fluctuations that I had no idea where they'd stand together by the end. I won't spoil it of course, but I will say that what we got was incredibly satisfying and a wonderful way to end the film.

And yeah, I guess this film technically ends in a dance number, but I don't mind because it feels earned in this film, and the music isn't cringey like Meghan Trainor or Rihanna trash. I guess I'm still not over Home. And I'm giving this film a 10 out of 10. Nice going Aston, I have a new contender for my favorite animated movies list (whenever the Hell that comes out).

Thanks for joining me for another episode of Randomated Film Reviews everybody! I promise I'll get that 2017 list out, but until then, what are your thoughts on these movies? Let me know and feel free to leave a suggestion for the next episode. I'll see you guys then!


  • Listening to: Game Grumps
  • Reading: Astrophysics for People In a Hurry
  • Watching: My Little Pony
  • Playing: Super Mario Odyssey
  • Eating: Burger
  • Drinking: Water
All right everybody. This is it. Remember, like I said yesterday, no holding back. Hit me with every harsh criticism you can think of. I really want to get better, and I need help from all of you.