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Mon Aug 6, 2018, 11:31 AM
I know I've made journals like this before but hey ;;333 link me... cool rp groups that you have / are in / are interested in and I'll check them OUT!!!!! blease...<3333

Skin by SimplySilent

EDGy meme

Fri Jul 27, 2018, 8:29 AM
completely shamelessly stole this from neatnete HEHEHE :3c 
I def used to be... emo-ish... not in style but in MOOD asdgfhgjhkgjfh so i'm curious how edgy I would b considered to b today (though! tbh everything in this journal is harmless imo (except for the brief mentions of death) and not particularly edgy per sé?? idk jlhkgj  but still fun!!!)

[ ] You hate the world. 

[ ] You hate society. 

[ ] You think vampires are cool. 

[ ] You write poetry. 

[ ] You have colored your hair black on Halloween

[X] You wear black/blue eyeliner.

[ ] You write poetry that's not for school.

[ ] You are freakishly obsessed with darkness. 

[ ] You think love is a waste of time. 

[ ] You've given up on the world.

Total = 1

[ ] You've shopped at Hot Topic 

[ ] You've spent over $100 at Hot Topic.

[ ] You wear a lot of bracelets 

[ ] You own a dog collar, that's not for your dog 

[ ] You're extremely pale. 

[ ] You are a member of a poetry site.

[ ] Your screen name has been an oxymoron.

[X] You are an atheist or agnostic. 

[X] You don't believe in god. 

[ ] Your screen name has/had X's in it.


Total = 2

[ ] You have been referred to as scary. 

[ ] You have been referred to as demented.

[x] You have been referred to as weird. 

[x] You have been known to hate teachers. 

[x] You have been known to cause trouble.

[x] Your hair has been dyed a color that was not natural. 

[ ] You have at least one photoshopped picture on facebook. 

[/] You think pictures look better in greyscale or sepia tone. 

[ ] You are scared of yourself sometimes. 

Total = 6.5

[x] Suicide has crossed your mind 

[X] You have screamed before. 

[ ] You use big words that no one has ever heard before on occasion. 

[ ] You've seen and or like The Exorcist.

[ ] You've seen and or like Saw. 

[ ] You've done voodoo.

[ ] You've used an Ouija board.

[ ] You hate sports. 

[ ] You dress up as the most morbid thing possible on Halloween.

[ ] You believe in your own god.

Total = 8

[/] Halloween is one of your favourite holidays. 

[/] You have an obsession with fire. 

[x] You have only a couple of actual friends.

[x] You're not afraid of spiders.

[x] You have had a conversation about how you want to die. 

[ ] You wear/worn black nail polish 

[ ] One or more of your facebook pics had writing on them. 

[ ] You have had the word "...." in your display name.

[/] You love emotional, dark art.

[/] You like art with negative meanings. 

Total = 13

[x] You like skinny jeans.

[x] Music is life.

[x] Your hair covers part of your face.

[x] You wear/wore band shirts

[ ] You know who Jeffree Star is. 

[x] You wear/wore converse.

[ ] You wear/wore vans.

[ ] You have/had your lip pierced.

[ ] You listen to Saves The Day, Emanual, and Saliva.

Total = 18

[ ] You are in a band.

[ ] You like My Chemical Romance. 

[x] You also like Green Day.

[ ] You know what mosh means.

[X] You sit in corners often.

[ ] You hate MTV.

[x] You take pictures of yourself a lot.

[ ] Especially ones where you can't see your whole face.

Total = 21

[X] You are lost without a CD player/iPod/mp3. 

[ ] You have/had thick rimmed glasses.

[ ] You hate your family. 

[ ] You have/had a Mohawk.

[ ] You like Slipknot. 

[ ] You hate where you live.

[x] Black is a great color 

Total = 23

[X] Right now you are listening to music. 

[ ] You know what hxc and sxc means.

[ ] Facebook = love 

[ ] You like spiked clothing

[ ] You wear/wore studded belts.

[ ] You have cried while listening to Hawthorne Heights.

[ ] For Guys: I have worn girls jeans.

[X] You cry a lot.

[ ] You write on yourself. 

[x] You have been called emo before.

Total = 26

For your final points, multiply it by 2, and post this as: "I am _% edgy"


Skin by SimplySilent

Please read

Thu Jul 12, 2018, 2:13 PM
Please take time to read this journal!
Why 'shotacon' and 'lolicon' is a bad ideaI am delving into a "controversial topic", although it shouldn't be controversial anyhow. Now I won't get into a scrap with you, if you are somewhat heavily involved with such subjects in a way that is supporting it. All that I ask is that you consider these points before taking an argument into the comments, and if you do not like me afterwards, you can simply unwatch or block.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: discussion on child porn, pedophilia, shotacon/lolicon, rape, abuse and molestation, without any explicit descriptions

Right, I've stayed up until 4am last night so sleep deprivation means that I'm getting weird drunk symptoms like swaying the hell everywhere so if something is written up weirdly, I am sorry but I am very tired Stare
Time to tackle another topic. And of course, it has to be the ever-so controversial "shotacon" and "lolicon". Now you and I are no fools, we've been on the web enough to know what they are an

I wish I was able to speak about this subject personally, but I get very emotional about it and it's very hard for me. bkyn put everything together super well and it's a very important read! This is the kind of stuff I wish I had read when I was younger, it's hard to know if what you're experiencing and feeling is wrong or not when no one ever speak about it! 

Thank you in advance for reading! And thank you bkyn for writing it! 

Skin by SimplySilent


Tue Jul 10, 2018, 3:45 PM
This is mostly targeted towards my commissioners but it's general news too!

I'm taking ages with my commissions, and the quality of my art is going down very fast, and this is all because of the job I have for this summer. It's very physically draining for me to do, and it knocks me out totally. My body is constantly in pain, my legs and back the most, and I've got severe headaches from time to time. I didn't think it would be so tough, so it's a misjudgement on my part! I thought I could do commissions as well, but turns out I can barely make any decent art at all

This job renders me unable to deliver the kind of quality that I want my commissioners art to look like. I want it to be pretty and I want to make them happy!
Same goes for my regular watchers who cannot support me financially! I want to post things that I'm proud of and that you'll think is cool!

So to those I haven't sent sketches to yet, I'm sorry, but I'll have to cancel the commissions. 
This sucks! I hate letting people down, this is very hard for me not only because I feel bad for you guys, but also because I really do need the money to support myself. School begins in just a month, and I need the money to survive. 

What's most likely going to happen, is that when I start school, I'll need money weekly / monthly to pay for food, and I'm likely to open YCH and/or one slot commissions over time instead of in a chunk as I usually do. I'll have a lot more free time I believe, as well as not feeling like I'm about to die constantly ljhkgjfhdgjk

Anyone who has noted me about wanting a commission, You're of course first in line when I open slots again, if you wish to be! You've been very patient with me during this time while I've struggled<3 Thank you so much for that!<3

Summer is usually my most productive time of the year, and seeing my gallery empty makes me incredibly sad. I promise I'll return forreal soon<3 I LOVE YOU!!!

Skin by SimplySilent


Sun Jul 1, 2018, 2:31 PM
I'M ON TEAM COFFEE!! I love tea but FIGHT ME!!! Friendly fire is more than welcome ofc<333

I'll of course try my best to defend as much as I can, as well as attack some! I really want to participate after all, so I'll do my best even though I'm kinda sick.. and have work to do... OOF (it's worth it jhlkgjfhdgjh) 


Skin by SimplySilent


Fri Jun 22, 2018, 9:55 AM


Skin by SimplySilent


Mon Jun 11, 2018, 1:33 PM
kaomoji set 2 14/67 
Please click the journal below to see what I'm offering right now!
Please make sure to see which options are open right now! Only the Silly Sketch option is closed for now!

$6 per head

Are these chibis?? IDK!!! They're just silly :3
There's no consistent style w these so I can't say exactly what they would look like but !!! Something like these sketches!!
Adding small splotches of color is NOT a problem at all ;3c

$15 per head
     ◊ SKETCH ◊

Just good ol' sketches! Black and white, can def add some shadows or color accents if you want that!! 
Generally simple poses and stuff, preferably only one character!! Can range between a bust and the halfbod example!
I don't mind what you do with these comms afterwards at all, like if you want to color them yourself and stuff? I think that's just fun!! :'0 
1. Sealoon
2. Rainymarch

Terms of service and other useful info such as how to order and how the process of your commission will be, can be found most far down the page!!! :3c

And below are the people who wished to be notified when I opened these! 

BluSilurus  Error-500  ExplosionBob  EllenorMererid  ghoulink  dexbeau   uhhlias   Wintryabyss  vivaciousOptimist  TitaniumPastels  Sharklore  Aibella  saltysauce   JiNxRaY  SilverAlert  gr-eg-ory  utaemon  aKoshka   ELECTR0KINETIC 
Dippers-art  Scowliiish  Star-Waves  Forhold  rainymarch   cosmologies

Hopefully I didn't write anyones username wrong or forgot anyone weeps... forgive me if I did... lmk and I'll have mercy on you!!!!

Skin by SimplySilent


Tue Jun 5, 2018, 2:34 PM
SO I made a tutorial on how to paint in Medibang Paint Pro! :3c

I wanted to ask you guys, if there's anything you want me to make a tutorial about! This one was a pretty general one, specifically focusing on LINES and how to blend them into your painting! 

I'd be happy to make more tutorials, so just ask away and I'll see if I can help out!!!<333

Skin by SimplySilent

Intimidation Meme !!!

Sun Jun 3, 2018, 2:01 PM
I saw this on tumblr and it seemed fun!! :DD If you're too shy to comment, you can send an emoji (or more!) on my tumblr on anon!!!
I wanna interact w u guys more so !!! :3c

Sometimes it’s difficult for people to seek contact with each other because they can feel intimidated by others. Using this meme, you can send the symbols to my askbox that represent to you how intimidating I am to you. This way, it could be more clear to both sides how things are based on these feelings.

😀 - I’m not afraid of reaching out to you.
😃 - To me, you are easy to approach.
😊 - I think you are a really friendly person.
😶 - I’m not sure if I can reach out to you.
😐 - You seem a little distant from others.
😓 - I feel like you would not really like me.
😲 - I’m afraid of reaching out to you.
😟 - I wish I had the courage to start talking to you.
😥 - I am very intimidated by you. I wish it wasn’t that way, because you seem cool.
😫 - I admire you from the sidelines because you seem cool and I’m just a dork.
😧 - Senpai, notice me????
😦 - I feel really insecure when I want to reach out to you.
😨 - You intimidate me….a whole damn lot.
😭 - I wish I could be your friend but to me, you are so hard to reach out to.
😱 - I am so incredibly intimidated by you, it even makes me a little anxious sometimes.

Skin by SimplySilent

gay meme cuz pride uwu

Sat Jun 2, 2018, 2:36 PM

1. what’s your gender & pronouns?
Agender !!!! any pronouns is fine by ME

3. is your family accepting?
They are! They're very cool and chill about it and havent made a big deal out of it! They were very interested about it at first and wanted to talk abt it often and wanted to learn, and now that they know and understand me theyre just chill like me<33

4. what do you wish you could tell your past self?
U don't gotta worry so much abt labels, just do you bro

5. what is your sexuality?
Not even god knows!!!! I'm generally uninterested in sex on a personal level, but sex as a subject is fun imo!!! 

6. favorite color?
Brown and green and pink aaaaaaaaaa

7. sun gay or moon gay?
how can you put me on the spot like this!!!!!! bih i'm a dusk gay

8. when did you find out your sexuality?
I mean, I've always been sort of AWARE of it, when I was in kindergarten I had a crush on this one girl, I thought she was so cute, but then u grow up a lil more and i suppressed the whole gay thing and I often forced romantic feelings n stuff for guys that I knew were attractive LMFAO but around when I was 12 or 13 I was like "UHM if that girl liked me, I'd be down to date!! not that I'm gay!! just saying that i'd be cool with it!!!" and then the rest is HISTORY lmfao i just stopped to deny it

9. how was your day?
A rollercoaster today!!! I got SUPER MAD for a good 15 minutes but then I made food and everything turned out GREAT and now I'm chillin eating popcorn<333333

10. do you have any gay friends?
YEAH!!!! YEAH!!! YEAH!!!!! But I want more!!!!

11. what’s your favorite hobby?
DrAWING!!! And recently I've tried to write a lot!!! It's so much fun but it's so hard but!!!! thats THAT

12. who’s the best gay icon in your opinion?
Jeff Goldbum 

13. which pride flags do you like the most design/color wise?
The trans flag is CUTE AF ..... 

14. are you openly out?
AS FUCK!!!!!!! I wish more people knew. Spread the word Otto is GAY

15. are you comfortable with yourself?
Mostly, but I do suffer a lot from dysphoria.. but I'm coping af bih

16. bottom or top?
Not really into sex my dude, but who doesn't like a verse

17. femme or butch?
I mean... idk.... HM I guess I lean more towards butch if anything

18. do you bind?

19. do you shave?
Sometimes but... rarely omfg

20. if you could date anyone you wanted, who would it be?
this question is so weird???? LKJHKGJFHDG

21. do you have a partner ?
No. someone wanna marry me?

22. describe your partner ?
; ) you tell me

23. have you ever dated anyone of the same sex?
; ) hmm

24. anyone of another sex?
; ( hmm

25. pastel gay or goth gay?
:::(((( i used to be pastel gay but now i'm just gay.... dare i say that goth gays are peak gays??? i dont deserve a goth gay but !!!! one can dream.

26. favorite dad in dream daddies?
I dont remember who I liked the most but I remember having a sweet spot for Mat?? Cause he looked so sweet???? But Craig.... bro.... 

27. tell me a random fact about yourself?
I am............. constantly thinking abt being gay and I have a package of disk-shaped pasta in my room

28. do you own any pride flags/merch?

29. have you ever been to a pride parade?
No cause.... I'm lazy... horrible.

30. any advice to someone who isn’t out or who is exploring themselves?
Labels was always a huge deal for me before, like in a way that I never found one that suited me, so I just want to say: u dont NEED a label! If you want to label yourself then do it, it's super fun!!<333 but if u dont find a label that suits you or represents you, you don't gotta worry, you're still part of the community!!!<3

Skin by SimplySilent

GOOD OL OC ASK read if you dare

Tue May 8, 2018, 4:05 PM

1. Your first OC ever?
My first oc... was a guy named Scott.... but he's... not the same anymore... bye Scott. 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?
Nope!! I love them all super duper much!!! But I mostly think about Zander, Caiden and Emmet ngl!!

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?
I have!!! Some I have implemented into the stories of my other characters, but others I have to just draw for fun, or waiting for a moment where I can include them!!

4. A character you rarely talk about?
I rarely talk about ANY of my ocs kjlhjghjfhdgjhkkgjf SORRY YALL I just never know where to start, theres so much to say and I want to do them justice!!

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?
Probably Caiden, but ngl theyre all very personal to me so idk if I'd want that at all!!

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?
idk tbh lmao.... call me out i dare you

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!
I do RP a lot w my best friend, we talk abt our ocs all the time hkgjfhjhkjl but I'm rly shy with rping w ppl i dont know, and dont got any specific oc dedicated to rping!!

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?
N... no.... none of my serious ones no. 

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?
all my ocs are simple af looking KJLHGFDSFGFHGJHK SHUT UP. Luria probably got the most detailed design thanks to her poncho, or Rakel cause BONES and FEATHERS
LURIA : Dreawriter by R0BUTTRakel skeleton by R0BUTT

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?
Skarmavbild 2018-05-09 kl. 00.13.16 by R0BUTT
(sneak peek at a wip that I will finish in the near future!!! Zan is blonde for a while and I call it the Capri Zan because he looks like the SUN and thats his fav drink jlkhgjfhdh)

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot
A L L  of my best friends ocs LIKE RLY ALL OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love u Eggbutts 

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?
I guess so yeah!!! 
Cas is a troublemaker cause he's feisty and picks fights w ppl nbvcfgjhkhj
Skarmavbild 2018-05-09 kl. 00.58.00 by R0BUTT
Emmet is technically not a troubleMAKER, but he ends up in lots of trouble thanks to his best friend who def is out for trouble jlhkgfhghjlhgjfh
Emmet... by R0BUTT
Catalina Javier and Manu are WAAYYY beyond the term "troublemakers" theyre more like.... fucking criminals HKJGFDHGJHK OOPS
MR. FEAR by R0BUTTI see what's mine and take it by R0BUTT (javier has no face!!!)

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory
Zander probably has the saddest backstory tbh... smthn I'll get into another day!!!
17204262 402890913411607 346030897 N by R0BUTT(small zan and his DAD)

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?
I LOVE TO but I'm shy and I'm super sensitive abt them, I really don't like when ppl joke abt them while I tell ppl abt them, I only appreciate that from friends who actually know and understand who my ocs are and how much they mean to me!! so im v careful w that stuff!!

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?
Emmet because he's actually interested in that subject LMAO

17. Any OC OTPs?
so many dude. sooooo many. AND THIS ISN'T EVEN ALL OF THEM I just draw my ocs interacting so rarely and thats mY FAULT!!!!
Scene by R0BUTTanother dumb doodle by R0BUTTSMOOCHIN by R0BUTT17197699 402273193473379 718218164 N by R0BUTTSkarmavbild 2018-01-06 kl. 23.01.00 by R0BUTT16444184 383226852044680 1576601371 O by R0BUTTYchsunlightr By Zebrathighs-db785y0 by R0BUTT(supercute comm made by Zeb6y CHECK THEM OUT PLEASE OMG)

18. Any OC crackships?
Only lowkey, I once made a joke that my bro-dude oc Dave had a crush on Zander, his best friend, but it became a Thing™ and now it's just so fkn sad i cried so much abt that yesterday WEEPS. I actually drew him for the first time ever yesterday too even if he's like, 4 or 5 years old OMFG
Skarmavbild 2018-05-09 kl. 00.10.54 by R0BUTT

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)
A L L  of them!!!!!!!!! FUCK U!!!!!!!

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?
Yeah!!! Cas has a career in music and plays a whole fuckload of instruments and sings beautifully!! Zan has an interest in music too but more on a theatrical level!!! Likes to dance, but likes to sing too!!!

21. Your most artistic OC
Cas probably.... but he... only draws... buff men.. he gay
Tbh thats a lie, Guillermo goes to art school and likes art a lot so JHKGFGDHGJHKJL
Lights on, Lights off by R0BUTT

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?
Cas is SUPER DUPER mischaracterized!!!!!!! People really like to think he's a bottom bitch uke or something and it pisses me off. Ppl also like to think that he's really emo I think, which is true to some degree, but he's actually a VERY fiery person with lots of confidence and humor, he's bitter and easy to anger and fucking lovely. I LOVE MY BOY!!!!
Cassy by R0BUTT

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?
Lmao..... Rune... we do not talk about what Rune USED to be. next.

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?
Zan because he always needs a hug. and guess what? SO DO I BIH

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)
I mean, all my ocs got SOME part of me in them, but idk which one resembles me the most tbh.... I'll ask my friend abt that sometime!!!!

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?
NOPE!!! It's always been my decision!!! At least from what I remember!!!

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?
YAH!!!!! YAH YAH YAH but all of them are so I can't just list them LMAO but more like, i make an oc and then over time songs help me develop them!!!
But I can say that Askel and Rakel were based off a LOT of songs of The Oh Hellos!!!
Askel by R0BUTT

28. Your most dangerous OC?
C A T A L I N A 
Lone Digger by R0BUTT (old art ew)

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?
Guillermo because thats basically the plot of his story KLJHGFDSFGFHGJHKJKGJFHDSFHGJ
Guillermo { Cover } by R0BUTT

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?
Claire I think because she's so fkn soft and cute but also cool and awesome
Skarmavbild 2018-05-05 kl. 22.50.45 by R0BUTT

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?
Cas because he's dumb and overly confident n also very expressive n sassy and it would be an AWESOME game that I would love to play. Horror/comdey mix
or romance if u will
halloween doodle by R0BUTT

33. Your shyest OC?
Rallie...... he's my shy bland boy. Love him. 
Rallie by R0BUTT

34. Do you have any twin characters?
Nope but I WISH I DID!!!!!!!!!

35. Any sibling characters?
A lot tbh!!! Emmet has a sister named Ernesta, and Claire, Rallie and Dennis are all siblings!!!

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?
my best friend could kill me if she wanted to. 

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human
Dragon dood by R0BUTT hmmmm

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?
I've got 3 candidates... Zan dances well, and it got that hot vibe especially when he a bit drunk if u know what i mean wink wink 
Emmet knows how to dance because he was taught and boi he got LOOKS so mmm hm def. 
Last one is Tine, I barely ever draw him or think abt him but he is a professional dancer and I LOVE HIM!!!! so ima just have to go w him jlhkgfdgj
Courage by R0BUTTVague by R0BUTT

39. Introduce any character you want
17198064 402260093474689 2121292194 N by R0BUTTThis is pizza they wanna fuck dentists and hates sparkling water

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!
i think about my characters every single day of my entire life. thats all.

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)
omg yeah,,, I'm so shook,,,, I fkn love yall I AM CRY SO MUCH BIG TIME I think yall would kill me if i posted links to the art here tho cause most of it is old and i dont wanna torture you BUT I GOT A FOLDER !!!!!!!!!!! LOOK HERE PLEASE 

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?
omg... Emmet.... cause theyre hot and gay and drama
Skarmavbild 2017-04-12 kl. 01.51.49 by R0BUTT

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess
I love DORKY characters SO MUCH theyre all just biiiig goofs omfg...... i also always make stories (w my friend kjhkgf) where two ppl r happy, then sad, and then end up HAPPY in the end!!! cause I hate sad endings!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also 70% of my characters have black hair OOPS

44. Something you like about your OCs in general
Theyre all gay and cute

45. A character you no longer use?
I mean, i kind of use all my ocs????? more or less???? but Scott.... we do not speak of Scott.

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?
Oh yeah, all the fkn time ljhkgjfhdghgjhkjlhgjfhdjghkjlhgkjf LMAAOOO SO OFTEN

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure
17740993 1520558764620801 1221761930 N by R0BUTT

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes
Cas lmfao NERD
16522906 385718625128836 912782306 N by R0BUTT

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want
the..the..yre.... g...GAY.

Skin by SimplySilent


Wed May 2, 2018, 11:08 AM
AAAAAAAA i got the beta version of stardew valley with multiplayer CO-OP!!! I would LOOOOVEEEEEE to play with people!!!! ::''000

This is how to get it, it's really easy!!
"Right now, the beta is only available to Steam users, with GOG users also getting access in a few days. Anyone who wants to participate in the Steam beta needs to opt in by right-clicking the game in their library and selecting “Properties,” then “Betas.” Type the password “jumpingjunimos” into the text box, then click “Check Code.” If you’ve done that correctly, you can select the “beta” option from the drop-down box and Steam will start downloading the update. But, Chucklefish points out that it is a beta, and “Stardew Valley” players might want to backup their save files and remove incompatible mods before installing the update or risk losing their farms."

If you want to join a farm I've made or want me to join a farm of yours LET ME KNOW OMG I can have 3 ppl at my farm at most so !!!!!!!!! omg im so exciteeeeeeedddddddd!!!!!

Skin by SimplySilent

I was really depressed once

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 5:04 AM
I rarely post things like these, since they are incredibly personal and the subject is so heavy, but I think it could be a good thing to talk about it anyway!

Depression and Suicide and Self Harm will be heavily discussed here so please don't read it if it upsets you too much, but this isn't a story with a sad ending! 

When I was 15, I was really depressed. I've had many depressive periods in my life, but this one is by far the worst one I've had, and hopefully I'll never have something as bad as it. 
I didn't know the reason why at the time, but now I know why I was. 

My elder sister has downs syndrome, and she is a wonderful sister. I love her a lot. But naturally she needed a lot more attention from my parents than I did. She needed aid that I didn't, and needed patient that I didn't. She just needed my parents more than I did, which is natural. 
But that caused me to feel incredibly neglected. There was no room for me to speak, or to take care of myself. I felt unheard and unseen. 
Above all, my sister was already such a big problem, there just wasn't room for me to be one. 
As soon as I was difficult, I felt so bad. I was just a bother to everyone around me. I had to just bottle everything up. It was also around this time that I started to figure out my sexuality and gender, and I hated myself greatly.

But I could only do so much for so long. I fell behind in school, I distanced myself from my friends, and I holed myself up in my room whenever I could. I didn't want anyone to find out what a horrible person I was. I was often home from school.
It became so bad that I walked around with tears in my eyes constantly. I was always crying. 
I wanted to stop existing so badly, that I started to think about suicide. 

I walked by a road with heavy traffic every day on my way to school, and when a car passed I would think "if I jump... NOW... the car would hit me and kill me." 
I walked out deep into the forests and thought "No one would find me here if I died here."
I would look at our cabinet with pills and think to myself "If I eat ALL of these pills at once, I'll surely die." 

I didn't care about my body at all. I would stop eating, and then eat great amounts of food, simultaneously. I would scratch at my skin so much it bled. I would shower in water so hot it almost burnt my skin.

People knew I was depressed. People know, and they care. My parents tried everything to get me to tell them what was wrong, but I couldn't say. My friends didn't know what to do, when I constantly walked away from them, but they cared about me. But what saved me was probably the strangers who for some reason seemed to care. 

Once when I was waiting for class, I was crying and was just so broken. When the teacher came there and saw my face full of tears, he smiled to me. It was such a small thing, but even though I was so broken and so full of darkness, he saw me, and still found it in himself to give me a smile. 
Once, I dont even know how, I ended up in the nurses office and got to sit in a room meant for people to rest in. She asked me if I was hungry, and if she should fetch me a sandwich. I cried then, cause that meant so much to me. Someone out there wondered if I was hungry, and wanted to bring me food. 

I came out to a friend in my class, and told her I was gay. She didn't mind at all. She still liked me. 
My best friend would often text me, and she would tell me every night that she loved me. I would cry, thinking abt how she would feel if i one day didnt respond to her goodnight message. If I never answered her messages ever again. 

Not killing myself is the best thing I've ever done. 
I still struggle with depression from time to time, but being alive is something I don't want to let go. It's the small things that makes it good. 

I love how spring feels after winter. How all the colors and smells and warmth comes back. 
I love going out to eat with my friends and talk about things. Not just good things, but bad things too. 
I love drawing and making art, and not caring if it looks good or not
I love hearing my dad play guitar downstairs in the evenings
I love when my friends who I don't see very often text me to vent about how school sucks
I love waiting for the bus 
I love looking at the things I made when I was a kid
I love being home alone and have the TV on even if I'm not looking
I love to nap and listen to music and skip homework 

And it's all those small things that makes life nice. Some are pointless, and that's nice, too! Not everything has a point, not everything is meant to be big and vast. And just holding on to those small things make it easier. 

I just wanted to share my experience with you guys<3

Skin by SimplySilent


Sun Apr 15, 2018, 3:52 PM

I've got about 2 months left of school, and then I'm fUCKENING free from all this crap forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!
Before then I have a mILLION things to do, and since I'm a procrastinating bich, I'm mega stressed right now!!! So I'm unable to open comms or YCH atm ::CC
ANYHOOOO, as soon as school is over I'll probably open comms!!! (Maybe not immediately cause I want to celebrate my freedom before jumping into work)

So if you're looking into getting a comm from me, look out for them around that time!!

All money that I make will go to my savings account for when I move out, and all of it will go to necessities like food and other essentials, so you'd be helping me out a great deal by commissioning me!!<33

If you want to be notified when I open my comms, just let me know!! I'll add your username to the commission journal so you'll get a mention as soon as I post it!!
(Even if you don't know if you'll be able to buy anything, I don't mind! If u want to be added, I'll add you!<3)

If you want to see what I have to offer, you can look at the draft of my comm journal right now! I change the prizes every now and then so it kind of fluctuate, but maybe it'll give you an idea of what you'd like from me!!<3

Skin by SimplySilent
I'm going to partake in a ZINE for the first time ever!!!!! And it's Voltron themed!!

I'm tbh rly happy about being accepted into it, and SHOOK cause 1) I know nothing about Voltron except than that Lance is cute af LHKGJFHDHGJHKJKGFJ AND 2) I've never been in a zine before i am FRESH MEAT and 3) the odds of getting in weren't the best but YALL I PULLED THROUGH


So that's kind of exciting, and I don't need to feel stressed cause it'll take like, a few months to finish (which is my usual it would seem //weeps) 
I hope to meet some nice people and make some rad art that I wont be ashamed of seeing in printed form WEEPS I'M SO STRESSED but I'm confident it'll be really cooooool!!!


I did apply for another zine as well, but idk if i'll get in im so stressed if i wrote the right email even jlhkgfh, so i'll tell yall about that if I get in.... a lil clue tho; it's revolving around a very calming and magical anime~ shhh

Skin by SimplySilent

Something I'm thinking about!

Wed Mar 28, 2018, 2:41 PM
I just wanted to talk about this, since it's on my mind a lot when I'm interacting with people online!!

As you may have noticed if you frequently comment on my art or similar, that sometimes it takes AGES for me to reply or acknowledge your comment/reply! That's because it is emotionally exhausting for me to keep up a cheery peppy attitude constantly. It's most likely not because I disliked your comment or deemed it boring or something, I just want my joy to come through properly, even if I'm just saying thanks!

And so I wait for those moments where I feel able to reply with the joy that I actually feel! Same goes for when people interact with me on ex discord. I'm sure many of you who have spoken to me there notice that when you message me for the first time, I am happy and cheery etc! But the next time you do, I'm suddenly seemingly unenthusiastic, compared to last time. That's not because of you! That's because I'm emotionally exhausted! 

I don't write to people the same way in private as here publicly, where my "profile" is a happy cheery person! And I'm sure MANY people can relate! The reason that is in my case, is because I want DA to be a healthy place for me to interact with people, and not a place to vent and be negative (though that happens sometimes too! I just don't want it to be the main focus on my account!) And so I want to surround myself with happy people, too! And if one person is happy, it's usually contagious! 

But if you know me well, you know I don't type like that normally. I'm kind of curt, I keymash a lot (asfdgfhjh) and repeat myself often with one word replies (omg, lmao, geez etc). And it is not out of boredom or dislike for the person I'm talking to! It's because it's just much easier for me to type this way and still communicate with people. My closest friends irl probably knows this the best, that sometimes I have moments where I type very cheery-like, but most of the time it comes off very flat. 

So what I'm trying to say is, if I've discouraged you from talking to me in DMs on ex. discord
(Otto🌱#4884), because of my flat responses or repeated one word replies, it's not because you're boring me or smthn!!!! (Though I'm probably boring you jkHGFDSFHGJHJFDHJ) 

I just wanted it to be said, because I do notice that people often message me a second time, but rarely a third! 
(Also I'm not a person who.... LIKES random conversation starters,,, like "omg dude i totally just ate a whole can of corn and my teacher did a backflip" cause I REALLY don't know how to respond to that!!! same as stuff like "wyd" cause i'm probably not doing anything interesting at all!!!! If you want to talk with me, what I've found to be like, good or whatever, is if the topic is art related, or character related (not necessarily MY ocs geez) or school related!!!!<333) 

Skin by SimplySilent


Thu Mar 15, 2018, 2:07 PM
THANK U GUYS SO MUCH FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES T_T<333 YALL KEPT ME GOIN TODAY, I'LL GET TO EACH OF YOU AS SOON AS I CAN<33333 it seriously make me so happy i turned notifications on  on my phone just to get the buzz from when you guys commented a happy wish for me, it really warmed my heart to read the messages<3333

I get a bit sensitive and mention dark stuff below (vent) so don't read further if u don't want any of that or if you struggle w mental health urself!!!!<3333
It's been a REAL tough few weeks/months for me, all winter tbh, I've been stressed out of my mind and picked up bad habits and behaviours that I used to have in dark times, and boy I'm kind of scared of what direction my mental health is going, and today was especially rough for some reason (it's sad cause hkgjfhk birthday and all)

Like I've started to dissociate again, I used to get into that state a lot in the past but it's back now :C I hate when it happens and I just feel so empty and pointless, and at the same time so sad and miserable, and i cant function at all... i've also started to pick up on some self harm behaviours, THO DON'T PANIC it's not Big Harmful things, it's small stuff like.... too hot / too cold water, scratching on my neck, pulling at my lips and stuff like that, nothing that's causing me big pain or hurt but,,, self harm none the less. All sorts of behaviours that I used to have when i was depressed or similar, and I really don't want to get back into that stuff!!!!

School is just SUUUCH a bitch, and I hate being there to my very core, I'm only there for my friends but even that has become hard for me... Like, I'm all smiley and jokey and stuff for my friends sake, but as soon as I'm away from their sight it's like I just falter and lose all the energy I had... and it's really getting to me to have to pretend to be happy... it's hard to not mention how tired i am every 2 seconds as well sdfgfhjhk 

I'm just worried for my health and I'm trying to sort things out and break the habits i have... i know im stressed because of school, and i constantly have to remind myself that it's nothing wrong with ME, it's just school being a fucking bitch, and that ive gone through this before and I will do it many times over again if i need to. I already know that life is worth living, I've already been at my all point lowest that I couldnt go any lower from, and if I went thru that I can go thru anything. If it's something I've learnt, is that life is great and it's worth the times that are like this, cause better times will come again. Spring will be here soon, and then summer, and then I'll never ever EVER go back to school as I know it!!!!

Stay strong you guys<3333 Happy birthday<333

 Birthday Cake 

Skin by SimplySilent

Thank you

Sun Mar 11, 2018, 2:20 PM
My 3 years of doing art in school, and now looking into art schools, have made me feel very sad and like I don't belong anywhere with my art and as an artist.
People keep telling me how I SHOULD do, or what I SHOULD change into, and have told me that my art hasn't been good for what it is. I've always felt like everyone wanted my art to be something else, and that I should change it, when I myself have been content with what I create. 

My teachers have criticized me and said that I need to change, because of anime and cartoony influences, and wanted me to stylize my art in different ways that haven't been of my taste. They've told me that my art is flat and boring, and that i need to break the borders that I've set up for myself. Advice that I would've appreciated, if they didn't behave the way they did. Their tones have been degrading, even when praising me, and I don't even feel comfortable showing them my art any more. Their advice have felt biased and reducing.

And when I look all around me, I feel like my art isn't worth anything. My art isn't engaging enough, my art isn't saying enough, my art isn't this and isn't that. It's too pretty, too boring, too flat, not realistic enough, not simplified enough. And it has really gotten to me, and made me wonder, if I should try to force my art to be weirder? Vaguer? Angrier? Should I try to fit in to the aesthetic that'll please the people around me? Ultimately, at some point, I've felt like my art is pointless.
How do I overcome the loneliness I feel, that I don't fit in anywhere, that I don't belong? 

I figured, that I don't need to.
I've never made art to please anyone but myself. I've made art that I like, of things that I like, things that I feel, that I experience, and it has made me happy. 
That I value aesthetic doesn't make me less of an artist. That I draw pretty things doesn't make me less of an artist. That I have interests that influence my art doesn't make me less of an artist. 
I want to grow and become something new. I want to welcome change. But I don't want to force it. I don't want to pretend to be something that I'm not for the sake of fuck all. 

The fact that you guys look at my art, fav it, talk to me about it, even SHARE it, makes me feel so much less lonely. 
You're all very patient and kind to me, and your support has brought me as far as I am today, and I wouldn't have continued the way I did without you.

Thank you for that. 

Skin by SimplySilent


Thu Feb 22, 2018, 2:10 PM
I would sincerely love for my ocs to have like, interactions with other peoples ocs, I'm just so GOTHAMN shy about it and I'm super protective over my characters... When Will I Learn To Let Them Go 

It's just such a neat concept that I'm hesitant to do, mostly because of what people have done w my characters in the past probably, but man....

Skin by SimplySilent

commissions sneak peek

Mon Feb 19, 2018, 8:51 AM
A LOT of people wanted to see a sneak peek on the commission prizes and options!

For those who are curios can take a look in the stash journal below! :3

Note that they are CLOSED!!! And that there might be more options and that the prizes might change a little bit when I open them!!!
Maybe not all commission types will be open, but some of them!! :0

If you have any questions about anything, just comment and I'll try to answer any questions u might have!!

Skin by SimplySilent