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it was really hard to be with him, really hard...
i know i've never loved him, maybe i kinda like him or maybe that was kinda passion but it was never love! i've never loved him!!
maybe i'm trying to convince myself that it wasn't, but i don't care if it's true or not, cause it's working, i really feel like i don't love him, i have never loved him!
and actually i'm happy, i'm happy to be alone now, cause i'm not thinking of him, i'm not wasting time to think about the time of his leaving, i'm not asking a question myself again and again; "when will he leave me?"
i'm not feeling worry to see his message if it's a seperation, if it's bad, or if it's not from him...
yeah, i'm also little bit sad too! i mean i have to be, i can't chance this and also i don't want to, but i know it will go away... it will go away like the memories of the times that we share... i will forget his smell, his whispers "i love you", his warm words "i want you" ... also i want to! i wanna forget...
today we talked on the phone five mins before our seperation, he asked me how i could sleep without him, he laugh and he said he loved me, he said he wanna be with me, he said he missed me, he said he wanted me to call him again later... later would never come!!! well, i really just wanna forget everything, and i know time will help!
tomorrow is a new day, a mistery for me... maybe i don't wanna wake up but it's my destiny and step by step i'm living it and i'm gonna live my life the way it's meant to be!
i'm not sad... i'm just curius for tomorrow...
gizem...
i know i've never loved him, maybe i kinda like him or maybe that was kinda passion but it was never love! i've never loved him!!
maybe i'm trying to convince myself that it wasn't, but i don't care if it's true or not, cause it's working, i really feel like i don't love him, i have never loved him!
and actually i'm happy, i'm happy to be alone now, cause i'm not thinking of him, i'm not wasting time to think about the time of his leaving, i'm not asking a question myself again and again; "when will he leave me?"
i'm not feeling worry to see his message if it's a seperation, if it's bad, or if it's not from him...
yeah, i'm also little bit sad too! i mean i have to be, i can't chance this and also i don't want to, but i know it will go away... it will go away like the memories of the times that we share... i will forget his smell, his whispers "i love you", his warm words "i want you" ... also i want to! i wanna forget...
today we talked on the phone five mins before our seperation, he asked me how i could sleep without him, he laugh and he said he loved me, he said he wanna be with me, he said he missed me, he said he wanted me to call him again later... later would never come!!! well, i really just wanna forget everything, and i know time will help!
tomorrow is a new day, a mistery for me... maybe i don't wanna wake up but it's my destiny and step by step i'm living it and i'm gonna live my life the way it's meant to be!
i'm not sad... i'm just curius for tomorrow...
gizem...
Love Story
how easy to write a story of love
you can choose where love goes
you kow what will happen next
and you can change the past
even if it's not love
you can write as it is
and you can make readers believe it
also you can make yourself believe
well, if it's not a perfect guy
just change it into one
write it as your dreams
so never let yourself wake up
yeah, maybe she goes
so just turn her back at next page
no one needs to wait
no reason to cry for it
wanna finish it?
so just put the dot at the end
it won't take anything from you
except a little bit ink
Wanna forget?
just burn the papers up
let the wind take t
This Pain is Getting Bigger
I promised myself that i will not cry cause of this seperation but it's getting worse day by day...
everytime when i think of him, i feel like i'm gonna cry but i stop myself, teardrops are making a huge ocean inside of me, all of memories and emotions are swimming inside of it...
i wanna cry! i just wanna cry and let them go away with my tears... i wanna escape from them... i just wanna go away and forget...
at frist i locked my feeling inside because i thought i could ignore them and keep living ike nothing has happened but as i remember the moments that we live feelings got bigger and bigger now i don't wanna lock my feelings inside of
Memories...
Everytime i close my eyes i see them actually i live them...
you know memories aren't with us all the time, after a while they goes and thoughts comes...
for example when we think about our past birthday party, we feel happy cause we think we should be, cause birthdays are happy times right?, and when we close our eyes we see ourselves when we were blowing out candles, it's kinda photograph for us... we remember what we want to, we remember what should have been...while time goes, we make our own memories, we write them as stories...
but sometimes memories doesn't go, stays with us and gives us pain...
when i close my eyes i can see him i
i don't love you...
no i don't, i've been trying to convince myself that i do but i don't... i don't love you.
i've tried, really tried to do, but i'm not succesfull cause my one of part didn't want to be...
i can not undo what i've done and i can not pretend like i haven't said what i've said, can't take my words back, it's too little too late now... i really didn't want to hurt you, i really don't know what i was thinking when i was saying "i love you"
all i wanna do is run away, i really don't wanna lie to you anymore, as i can see your eyes are keep saying "don't go" but i really don't want to hurt you again in anyway and i know if i stay i'm gonna hurt
© 2009 - 2024 qzmxx
Comments11
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awwww
so you left him today?