Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login
About Deviant QuotidianAubergine30/Female/United Kingdom Recent Activity
Deviant for 13 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 144 Deviations 1,308 Comments 6,020 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Not Sick
They say it's
Emotional immaturity
Day's spent deep
In social obscurity
What I want is not what you want
And what's wrong with that?
I don't follow
Your scriptured morality
I have an inherent
Sense of dignity, that
No gods could inject. A mutual respect
Is earned after we reflect
I don't work
Like a hound at the races
I'm no tool, no prole
I follow my own paces
I will not live a life unhappy
I'd end it here, to put it simply
I wake up and feel as free as I can be
It is you, not I, who should feel envy
I do not sense your pity
I'm immune to society
:iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 1 1
There's no need now to reconcile
To meet eyes, awkwardly smile
Just treat me like we've never met
Just see me out of focus
I moved on a while ago
At least that's what I want you to know
And believe, pass this on
My happiness is bogus
I may not be as unaware
Of self as you sure are
But I'm almost as messed up
So don't push me too far
In the future when we collide
I don't want you to take my side
Like you wounded me or changed me
In truth I feel nothing
And if your friends scorn me
And if your mother hates me
I won't even pretend to feel shame
Or pass blame,
Or curse your name,
Because I forget everything
I may not be as unaware
Of self as you sure are
But I'm almost as messed up
So don't push me too far
:iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 0 0
Blue Car
Don't tell my mother.  Don't tell your wife
Don't tell my sister that I ruined my life.
She is an angel, so she sees it all
But I won't say it aloud
(So young)
I only let you break down my walls because
I wanted to make you proud
A long awaited father figure, I suppose
I didn't know that last night, under my nose
Under my clothes and under my skin
And it won't happen again
(I promise)
I know that you took advantage
Of an eager-to-please and desperate pen
Sat in a blue car, after the contest
(Humming the blues)
Let my silence be my deafening protest
(Tapping my shoes)
I understand my mother now, she needs to be protected
(Fruit bruised)
And were not at all like I expected
(Shame on you)
:iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 0 0
What do you want me to do?
Put my life on hold for you?
You have no future with me
You have no future at all
I like the rare times you aspire
To something I will often admire
But don’t push down on me
Because I’m not going to fall
I’ve asked you so long, so much
What was wrong with your life, my touch
But you shut me out, cry and scream
And I have nothing to scream for
I’m just not enough
You might not want to know me
In a year or so down the line
I remind you of what you don’t have
And that will just break my heart
But I can’t stay, I don’t have the time
:iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 1 2
Silly Clown
Bite down, silly clown
Hold down
Wake on your side so you can
Feel my breath on your neck
Calm down, run around
Then go crazy
You know I like it when
The room is hazy
Turn round to see the faces
Born of horrendous places
We're not meant for this
We need our own space
Don't try to grab my hand I'll
Slip away
I only want you with half of me
It's the only way
Breaking incident
I'm not listening
I'm so ignorant
It's my time I'm wasting
Boredom evident
Boredom evident
Boredom boredom boredom
Turn the music down
Lay down
You can touch me and I'll
Pretend that I'm comfortable
Calm down, run around
Then go crazy
You know I like it when
The room is hazy
Breaking incident
I'm not listening
I'm so ignorant
It's my time I'm wasting
Boredom evident
Boredom evident
Boredom boredom boredom
:iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 0 0
Tired of having to faux-whore around
Watching you, breathless, almost no sound
I’m tasting your torso and clawing your chest
But I’m bored and I’m laughing and passing this test
With my eyes closed.  Screaming,
I jump off the bed as I always do
And to your surprise throw your
Clothes back at you
It’s an instinct, and it’s no real loss
If you’d have stuck around you’d know who was boss
And you’d know a lover’s sadness would very soon rule
You’d be the screw and I’d be the tool
That I’d crack, so hopelessly
Because I’m ten thousand others
So apologetically
Because my heart smothers
You’re out of the door and I’m close behind
Predator incognito with free drinks in mind
I won’t remember this next parade, but
I’ll recite it in the morning to a cigarette butt
And it will be perfect, because I’m a machine
I’m cruel and I’m crazy and so damn unclean
Stay away from me.
:iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 0 0
Mature content
Dawn :iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 0 0
Folk in the morning for we
Spoke so heavily last night
Layered tiki lights
Occupy my sights
Winter’s on my lips so
My tongue’s as sharp as ice
You can’t expect with what you’ve done
I’d be the usual nice
So nice
The exhaustion round your eyes
Folk so filled with your
Suffering guitar tonight, yeah, right
Layered tiki lights
Occupy my sights
Turning round you sad, sad thing
Turn to your head
You remember these
Presents of trinkets for keeps
You’ll still
Readily forget me, baby
:iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 0 0
This is not a specialised subject
This is common sense
I’m not here to be a number
I need my own defence
When I can’t sleep I do the dishes
Insomniac to avoid your Mrs
And I smoke and don’t care
And I drink to despair
It’s anything and everything
These building sites more than eyesores
Thrown up like tidy boxes
Cheques in accounts of commercial whores
Still a battle of the sexes
When I can’t sleep I call you up
And you’re required to shut me up
As she waltzes in pretty
No sense of the witty
You’re everything and nothing
These streets are awkward, crooked
There’s markings on the fence
The window doesn’t lie to me
It’s why we’re all so tense
I won’t give up my eyes, my fingers
So go lock them away
When all we have is names on cards
Well, I’ll be dead that day
:iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 0 0
Something Else
Crawling up the alley’s sides
Just to avoid the garish lives
Hoping you won’t be offended
If I don’t remember your name
If I don’t turn my head your way
See there’s an awkward part of me
That likes to ignore family
I’d never hate you but that’s
Because I’m feeling so little these days
And it’s worse than fearing
And it’s worse than loving
I’ve no time for healing
So I wake up and feel like sleep again
And it’s not quite solitude
It’s just crossing paths from brainless fools
Not like you
You’ve something else
You’ve substance questioning your mental health
From what I can tell
From what I can tell
When living is hell
You’ve got the time for them
And an ear for more of them
So where’d you get the balance?
Am I missing something because I’m uptight?
On one thing I’m right
This is not life
:iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 0 0
I’m at seventy seven
And where the hell are you?
Picnic in the country
Won’t pull us through
Snippets and gobbets and
Late night talk shows;
They pass the time
As long as we’ve wine
As long as our parents don’t know…
I’m singing quietly
You’re barely listening
The voices in chambers all
The walls glistening,
The voices more prominent
Tear ducts on overdrive.
Do we feel so alone
Because we’ve no phone,
Or avoid them because we don’t feel alive?
:iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 1 0
You’re losing her to apathy
To the wrong kind of torture
She’s smoking after drinking but she’s shaking so
She drops it
But it’s okay because
Love is a mere blind obsession
And her words mean nothing
Her tears are compulsive and
Therefore insincere
That’s right
She’s plummeting with you
And you care less
As days pass
You’re losing her to your own
Insecurity, which in turn, in domino-effect
Forces an inadequacy to be yours
Upon her
Don’t do it
Don’t do it
Don’t change
But don’t leave her balanced
On a knife’s point
Because it’s cruel
And she feels an absolute fool
:iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 0 0
Well There You Are
This side
Your side
Opens up wide
Every year we hide
We remember those bright days
As ones to bring up the bad memories
Listening to ambiguous crescendos
And not truly knowing who we were
Or who we wanted
But the dangerous music’s all gone now
The candles flicker, trails in the eyes
And sparking off this miniature firework display
Shows we have complete control
Of our sighs
Of course we don’t, we are delirious
The uncertainty has promptly been replaced
With an artificial life of
Serotonin smiles
And insanity
So no one could envy me
:iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 0 0
One Little Stone
Your blank, then manic eyes
Make me wish I hadn't subscribed
But I'm here now, and I do my best
And you make it clear you're not impressed
Stressed, I invest
In your everlasting mess
Await my turn to be called upon
I feel so much for the both of us
Worn out by my own shit and buried by yours
I don't feel wanted or special but
I cling on and love you, your secrets
You're profound, then nihilistic
I'm trying so hard to be realistic
But I want too much and know too little
The outside's repose but the source is
Belittled, I twitch
Refer to myself as a bitch
Shake my head for invisible comfort
I'm not about to fall off
In the knowledge that you're still
Hanging on
:iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 0 0
A Song
I'm late myself
I'd hate myself
But I've been learning to help myself
I'm not myself
But I still feel
This isn't very good
It's not they way it should be
When you're with me
I'm lying on my back
Waiting for a heart attack
Kill me
Kill me
I can't breathe air
Can't watch your stare
I'm so surprised that you want me there
I've lost my old self
I'll be your queen
I'll be unseen if you want me
:iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 0 0
What You Said
Crumpled up pieces of yesterday's hallucinations
So fragmented I'm drinking without hesitation
Just enough poured down my throat, just enough left
Just discarded to create my own evaporation
I'm not about to self-destruct completely
Not that you were worried enough to meet me
I'm late half on purpose, I'm watching the sky
Moving with the clouds, my compulsion to cry
So much harder to exit than enter
So much harder to breathe
:iconquotidianaubergine:QuotidianAubergine 1 2



United Kingdom


Add a Comment:
grazrootz Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2007  Professional Interface Designer
hey! how are's been a very long time
AllOfUsAreLost Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2007
Linked here from YouGo page.
Really interesting writing style!

-Arguing guy.
hawkslept Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2007
thanks for the :+fav: on Sugarloaf WIP. There will be more coming, so stay tuned.
Add a Comment: